6 maneras de apagar a un gasolero en una relación
El Gaslighting es una tipo de abuso emocional que ocurre sobre todo en las relaciones románticas.
Con ello, el agresor quiere convencer a su víctima de que no es mentalmente estable.
He uses different tactics to prove he’s right.
In many romantic relationships, one partner, mostly the dominant one, would convince his victim that she didn’t see or hear something correctly.
He would tell her that she’s exaggerating or that she’s too clingy.
He’d do so many nasty things to the woman he swore he is in love with.
Men like that are mostly good actors because they’ll always make things work for them.
Serán las víctimas a los ojos de sus amigos y familiares.
Nobody will ever think that they’re evil or that they’re capable of doing bad things.
But their victims know too well that they’re ready for anything.
The catch is, it’s really hard to prove that.
It’s extremely hard to fight alone and try to let another know that you’re going through hell.
Pero, por si te sirve de algo, hay diferentes maneras de apagar a un gaslighter en tu relación.
¿Se pregunta cómo? Siga leyendo.
Don’t let them brainwash you
The first thing you need to remember is to be strong, and don’t let them do whatever they want with you.
They’ll try to brainwash you and make you think in a way that suits them well.
Pero tu obligación es no dejar que eso ocurra.
Una buena forma de hacerlo es recordar lo que realmente ocurrió.
If you’re 100 percent sure that something happened, don’t let your abuser convince you of the opposite.
If you let them brainwash you the first time, they will do it again and again, and you will end up totally losing yourself over someone who couldn’t care less for you.
Pero tener buena memoria te salvará la vida en situaciones como ésta, así que asegúrate de saber siempre lo que ha pasado.
Sé lo bastante fuerte para luchar por ti mismo
Tu abusador quiere que seas la sumisa.
Quiere que escuches todo lo que dice.
Quiere que obedezcas sus reglas.
Está bien hablar con tu pareja y decidir sobre ciertas cosas relativas a una relación.
Pero dejar que alguien tome todo el control en una relación no es sano en absoluto.
Eso es algo que nunca deberías permitir a ningún hombre.
If he tries to fight with you, convincing you that you are the crazy one, don’t let him get away with that.
En lugar de eso, sé fuerte y lucha por ti mismo.
Respétate a ti misma porque sólo así te respetará, aunque sea un poquito.
At least, he’ll know that you are not a doormat and that he can’t behave as he wants.
Walk away from a conversation you don’t feel comfortable with
If you don’t feel good having a conversation with your partner, you should walk away.
If he is rude toward you or if he doesn’t want to listen to what you have to say, it is okay to leave.
You shouldn’t be a part of something you don’t like.
You shouldn’t let anyone push you to do things that you don’t feel good doing.
If you show him that you won’t put up with any of his shit and that you will walk away, he will change the way he treats you.
He will realize you are not so easy to handle and that you’re a true fighter who knows how much you bring to the table.
I know it takes a lot of time and courage for this, but once you try it, you’ll be so proud of yourself.
Presta atención a su patrón de comportamiento
Muchas mujeres se enfrentan al gaslighting porque no vieron todas las señales de alarma.
They didn’t see that their partner has been using them all the time while he was swearing that he loves them.
They simply believed him and didn’t think anything bad would ever happen.
Pero en la mayoría de los casos, cuando te relajas demasiado, pueden ocurrir cosas malas.
That’s why hay que prestar atención a su patrón de comportamiento.
¿Qué hace cada vez que le acusas de algo?
¿Está siendo agresivo o te habla en un tono normal?
Cosas así pueden decir mucho sobre la verdad de la situación.
La mayoría de la gente empieza a pelear cuando se le acusa de algo que ha hecho.
Un ataque es la mejor defensa, ¿recuerdas?
Si tu pareja actúa de forma agresiva cuando le dices que ha hecho algo malo, lo más probable es que sea culpable.
Cuanto antes lo reconozca, más fácil le resultará entrar en su cabeza.
Once you do that, you’ll know that it’s time to shut him off and to walk away.
Don’t let him switch the topic
When the abuser sees that you have the upper hand, he’ll try to switch the conversation.
He’ll try to calm you down, telling you that you have right.
Es entonces cuando debes apagarlo.
Ese es el momento adecuado para ganarle en su juego.
Don’t let him get away with all his shit he has been serving in front of you for so many years.
Tell him that you don’t want to talk about other things but about the issue, you are fighting about right now.
Sigue con tu plan de decirle todo lo que quieras para demostrar que tienes razón.
When he sees that you’re not easy to handle, he’ll change his mind.
He’ll realize that he can’t behave as he thought he could.
After you show him that you’re stronger than he thinks, he won’t act like that toward you anymore.
Don’t argue with him, but talk normally
If you show your abuser that you’re overwhelmed by the situation, he will use it against you.
If he sees that you are angry or frustrated, he’ll call you crazy.
He’ll tell you everything is in your head and that it never happened.
Así que, cuando intente pelearse contigo, mantén la calma e intenta hablarle en un tono de voz normal.
Don’t let him transform you into a monster you’re not.
If you don’t get along about something, you can advise him to talk about it but not to fight.
Si se niega a hablar contigo con calma, deberías marcharte.
He knows that he can’t piss you off, so he’ll try using all the tactics he can in order to escape that conversation.
Esa es sólo una razón más para dejar de confiar en él y alejarse de él.
