Me da por sentada: 9 razones (y qué hacer al respecto)
Me da por sentado. Sin duda, ésta es una de las frases más populares que circulan desde hace tiempo.
Is he seriously taking you for granted? That’s a serious accusation to make, and you shouldn’t make it without the solid proof he is really doing that.
Lamentablemente, poner a alguien en el Plan B ocurre mucho más en las relaciones modernas. Quieras admitirlo o no, el síndrome de la hierba más verde se ha convertido en el mayor destructor de relaciones.
Esa es una de las razones por las que dar por sentado a alguien se cuela en una relación que antes era feliz.
Para ser realmente positiva en tus sospechas, primero, tienes que ser objetiva, y tratar de no involucrar demasiadas emociones en la evaluación de si él es tratarte como una opción en lugar de como una prioridad.
Besides looking for signs he’s taking you for granted, you need to understand what exactly means when someone takes you for granted, why they are doing that, and what you can do about it. We’ll cover all that (and more) below.
Me da por sentado Significado
If he takes you for granted, it basically means that he doesn’t appreciate you enough. It implies a lack of gratitude where he’s taking advantage of you or undervalues you.
You know he’s not appreciating you enough if he doesn’t reciprocate, doesn’t acknowledge the things you do for him, and isn’t putting enough effort para estar a tu lado cuando lo necesites.
You know he’s taking you for granted when you feel like you’re the only one going out of your way to make things work in a relationship.
Todas las pequeñas y grandes cosas que haces por él a menudo pasan desapercibidas y sientes que tu presencia está a la sombra de su egoísmo.
¿Por qué los hombres te dan por sentada?
Una de las principales razones por las que los chicos te dan por sentada es cuando empiezan a ESPERAR que te comportes de una determinada manera. Se acostumbran a recibir un trato real sin dar nada a cambio.
Estas son las razones más comunes por las que los chicos te dan por sentada:
You have troubles saying ‘no’
¿Siente que preferiría asumir más tareas y responsabilidades than say ‘no’ to your partner or other people? Then you officially have trouble saying ‘no’ and you’re officially going out of your way to please others at your own expense.
You’re a people pleaser
You just can’t be rude to others no matter how rude they are to you because you’re a legit people pleaser.
You’re too sweet and nice which guys immediately recognize and then, through time, decide to ‘turn your sweetness against you’ aka take you for granted.
Los demás pueden predecir tu comportamiento
Predictable behavior can be easily manipulated by others. If you’re predictable, it means others can know your next few moves in advance.
Esto les facilita manipularte y conseguir que hagas lo que ellos quieren. Este tipo de manipulaciones son sutiles, por lo que es posible que ni siquiera seas consciente de ellas.
Te cuesta enfrentarte a la gente
You have trouble confronting issues with others (be it your partner or someone else). If you don’t tell them how their actions make you feel, you end up unhappy and they keep dándote por sentado.
They do that because they’re convinced that everything is fine and you’re okay with their behavior. Well, are you?
You’re not being honest with yourself
En lugar de admitirte a ti mismo la famosa frase, Me da por sentado, excusas su comportamiento.
En lugar de preguntarse Espera, ¿por qué me da por sentado en el primer puesto? you turn a blind eye thinking that you’re overreacting and it’s all in your head.
Justificar su comportamiento de mierda se ha convertido en la nueva normalidad.
Buscas constantemente la aprobación de los demás
Permites que los demás controlarte y manipularte because you’re determined to get their approval at any cost. You ask for their approval on almost everything you do and that’s how you lose yourself.
Cuando empiezan a darte por sentado, a menudo no te das cuenta porque ya has perdido el sentido común.
Tiene pocas expectativas
Te has acostumbrado tanto a que los demás te decepcionen que tus expectativas hacia ellos se han vuelto realmente bajas.
You give too much from yourself and receive little or nothing at all but you don’t culpar a otros por eso. ¿Por qué?
Because you have low expectations and you don’t expect others to treat you the way you treat them.
You’re scared
You’re scared of people who act bossy, confrontational or are too loud. Because of that, you refuse to confront them.
You’d rather do as they say and accept what they say than ever go against them. They know that, too, and that’s why they decide to take you for granted.
Das más de lo que recibes
Somehow, you’re always the one who gives too much without even realizing that you’re doing that.
You never question the matter of reciprocity in a relationship because you’re used to being the one who gives more than they get back.
Aunque decida alejarse, they’d be upset, accusing you of being the one who changed for the worse.
He Takes Me For Granted: 7 Clear Signs He’s Taking You For Granted
Cuando me pregunté por primera vez ¿Me está dando por sentado? Estaba dispuesta a pasarme un año buscando señales de que lo hiciera. Para mi asombro, estas señales estaban justo delante de mí todo este tiempo, pero decidí pasarlas por alto.
As always, it’s best to learn from other people’s mistakes, so here are the signs that will open your eyes by showing his true nature:
Dejó de tratarte con respeto
Además del amor, el respeto es algo que nunca debe faltar en una relación.
Your partner has to acknowledge you even for the small things you’ve done. It’s important that you know he appreciates you and your effort.
Once he stops doing all that, consider it as not a good sign. It’s the beginning of ‘’dándote por sentado’’ journey you don’t want to be on.
If he’s making plans without you knowing, then you have a big red warning sign that something is seriously wrong.
Hacer planes solo en lugar de involucrarte significa que ni siquiera le interesa si puedes participar o no en esos planes.
What you want in this case is not an option. Ask any relationship expert if this behavior is worthy of putting up with, they will all give you the same answer—you’re being taken for granted and something needs to be changed.
He doesn’t care what you think
Experimentar este sentimiento puede afectar seriamente a su autoestima. Sus reacciones indiferentes te hacen sentir insignificante y sin importancia.
Nadie debería sentirse así, sobre todo en una relación en la que tu pareja debería hacerte sentir especial y querido.
He’s not making you feel anything except shame and a sense of less worth. If your significant other is faced with difficult choices in life, it’s normal and natural for them to turn to you for advice.
Tu novio ha dejado de hacerte partícipe de los grandes momentos y decisiones de la vida.
It’s because you don’t matter to him as much as you used to. Relaciones sanas implican amor incondicional y, lo que es más importante, confianza. Has perdido la confianza y quizá incluso el amor.
Dejó de intentarlo a tu alrededor
He’s not taking you to nice dates anymore. He’s not even trying to do anything romantic anymore. I don’t want to scare you but these are huge red flags in a romantic relationship.
Su relación está estancada, and he doesn’t seem to be bothered by it.
He’s even stopped trying to look good for you. I’m not saying he should groom himself all the time to look like a model when he’s with you, don’t get me wrong.
He should be relaxed around you, but isn’t there a line between being relaxed and not giving a damn?
I mean if boxers are the only thing he ever wears around you and you’re home all the time…is that really nice of him to do?
Or is it the result of a lack of trying? I’ll let you be the judge of that.
Piénsalo bien: ¿tu relación duradera ha entrado en crisis y necesitas cambiar algo cuanto antes o es que he’s just not into you anymore, so he’s taking you for granted?
He doesn’t listen when you talk
When you talk, he does his own thing. He is not paying attention to anything you say, and the reason is more than simple. He doesn’t care about you, things that you say, or things that you think about.
Tu comunicación va hacia el sur, lo cual es otra bandera roja en una relación.
Como seres humanos, tenemos la necesidad de conectar con los demás a muchos niveles. Por eso, cuando la comunicación deja de existir, sabes que tu relación se enfrenta a serios problemas.
Sus amigos son más importantes que tú
I’m not saying he should be by your side and hang out with you all the time but if there ever comes a point in your relationship where he chooses to spend time with his friends rather than you, he’s most definitely taking you for granted.
Don’t blow this out of proportion. If he rejects you once to go with his friends, it doesn’t have to mean dejó de importarle sobre ti. Tienes que dejarle tener su vida social fuera de vuestra relación.
Pero si esto empieza a ocurrir con regularidad, entonces debería empezar a preocuparse. Lo primero que nos viene a la mente es que está perdiendo lentamente el interés en ti.
Evita la intimidad
¿Cuándo fue la última vez que intimaste? ¿Lo recuerdas? La falta de intimidad física es sin duda una de las señales alarmantes de que tu relación se enfrenta a problemas.
Passion is one of the things that should always be present in a relationship, no matter what. If you don’t attract each other physically, that relationship is doomed to fail sooner or later.
Lo mismo ocurre con la intimidad emocional. Debes poder hablar libremente de tus sentimientos con tu pareja.
Being vulnerable is not something you should be ashamed of, especially when you’re with your loved one. He has to give you emotional support and ensure you feel safe and protected when he’s around.
He hasn’t introduced you to his family
My family is everything to me, as I’m sure yours to you, too. He is no exception either.
Wouldn’t it be completely normal for him to introduce you to his loved ones if he was serio contigo? I would do it, and you would do the same. Why hasn’t he done it yet?
The answer is not so pleasing. It could be that he’s not interested in anything serious with you or he’s simply taking you for granted.
Estos problemas son bastante graves, y no se me ocurre ninguna solución fácil.
Although you can always try to talk to your boyfriend using complete honesty to try to solve what’s holding him down in your relationship.
¿Qué hacer cuando un hombre te da por perdida?
When a man takes you for granted, it’s best to give him the taste of his own medicine if you want to teach him a valuable lesson.
Siempre hay opciones que puedes considerar. Cuando te da por sentado, puedes ignorarlo y centrarte en vivir tu mejor vida.
You can cut off contact for good. At least, you’re getting the satisfaction of winning and walking away from him, instead of him from you.
But, there are other options, too, which might intrigue him and get him hooked back…
Diviértete solo
Me da por sentado. ¿Y qué? Todavía puedes divertirte solo y centrarte en tu propia vida, ¿verdad?
Don’t even bother to ask him what he’s doing that night if you know that he’s going to have some lame excuse for not going out with you.
Instead, go out on a date with yourself or find new hobbies. Do something that you will enjoy doing even when you know that he wouldn’t enjoy it with you.
There are so many things you stopped doing since you two started your relationship, so it’s time to do those things right now.
Oh, and don’t forget to take a picture and post it somewhere he will see it. Let him ask himself why you didn’t even invite him.
Don’t answer his messages right away
Women have this urge to answer messages right away. I mean it’s polite, and that’s how it’s supposed to be done if you have your phone by your hand.
But now that he’s taking you for granted and he doesn’t know how hard it is for you when you have to wait a whole day before he answers, ignore the urge to envíale un mensaje. Don’t text him and he will text you.
Recupere su amor propio. Make him feel your pain. Don’t answer him.
You could even leave him on ‘read’.
Vístete para impresionar
No importa la frecuencia con la que te vistas bien, ¡duplícala! Vístete tan bien que a él se le caiga la baba cada vez que pases.
Let him see what he’s losing. A little red lipstick and mascara will make you feel good about yourself, too.
Needless to say that men are visual creatures, so if he sees you that hot, he’ll instantly come after you. But don’t let him touch you.
El contacto físico está prohibido hasta que empiece... apreciando su presencia en su vida de nuevo.
I know that this sounds like manipulation but if he doesn’t see what he’s losing, he won’t realize what’s going on and he won’t be able to ‘read the signals’ you’re trying to send him.
Sal con tus amigos
¿Tu novio te da por sentada? No hay problema.
Salir de fiesta, diviértete con tus mejores amigoscompañeros de trabajo, de todo. Hazle ver que eres capaz de tener una vida maravillosa sin él.
Plan an all-girls weekend for your birthday, and don’t allow him to join the party.
Let him know that he’s not invited. He doesn’t deserve to be there in the first place, right?
Cancelar planes con él
Believe me, I know it’s hard. You want to spend more time with him because you love him, but this is the best way for you to let him know that something isn’t right.
Necesita make him realize he’s losing you!
If he calls you to go out, politely tell him that you don’t want to. If you have already made plans with him, then cancel the date night and tell him that you have something important to do for work. Either way, it will pay off.
Don’t talk to him about your life
Me da por sentado. Quizá deba multiplicar mis esfuerzos y ser más abierta con él.
That’s exactly what I was thinking a few years ago. Don’t make the same mistake. Withhold information about your life right now.
At one point when you’re talking to him and he asks you about why you haven’t told him that before, choose a passive-aggressive answer like, “I saw that you were too busy to actually care.” These sentences hit the spot even though they may sound a bit rough.
Después de todo este tiempo dándote por sentadoDemuéstrale que no estás de acuerdo con su comportamiento.
Háblale de cómo te sientes
Cuando hayas decidido que ya está bien de juegos, prueba la vieja pero dorada técnica de hablar las cosas.
Puede que lo hayas intentado antes de todo esto, pero ahora es el momento adecuado para hablar del tema.
Tell him how you have been feeling lately, and tell him that you aren’t happy in your relationship because he doesn’t appreciate you and what you’re doing for him.
I’ve said this already—communication is the key to every relación feliz.
Dile que sólo toma de la relación sin dar nada a cambio, y a ver qué pasa. Dile que toda relación es una calle de doble sentido que no funcionará si un miembro de la pareja se esfuerza más que el otro.
Piense si se merece una segunda oportunidad.
If he says that he is going to change his behavior, then you should give him a chance, but be careful with how many chances you’re giving out and is it worth the trouble?
¿Cómo puedo evitar que me dé por sentada?
You’ll stop him from taking you for granted when you stop doing those things he takes for granted and establecer límites como la mujer de alto valor que eres.
Let him know that you won’t tolerate him not appreciating your effort. Let him know that you’re fine without him.
This is how you’ll stop him from taking you for granted ever again:
Stop doing those things he’s taking for granted
Me da por sentado. Well, then stop doing those things he’s taking for granted.
Esto es algo que todo entrenador de relaciones te diría: Deja de hacer cosas buenas por él. Punto.
The more you’re going out of your way to please him, the more he’ll take your effort for granted. You need to break this evil art of que se aproveche de ti and you’ll do it by not giving him the things he used to receive from you.
Let him know that it takes two to tango. You will not be the only one trying to make things work. It’s high time that he chooses between reciprocity or nothing.
Llámale la atención por su comportamiento
Don’t omit anything he does, and most importantly, don’t make excuses for him in the process of evaluating what his deal is.
Fíjate en todo, desde las cosas pequeñas a las grandes, porque todas son igual de importantes.
I’m sure you’ve realized by now that you’ve missed so many sure signs telling you that he is not appreciating you as he used to.
If you did, don’t let that lower your spirits and discourage you.
It’s not your fault that you missed out on whatever was going on right in front of your nose. You’re not the one to blame that your significant other is not treating you the way you deserve.
Establecer límites
It’s time to set yourself some boundaries. Choose the things that you’ll do because you want to do them and accentuate the things you won’t do because he’s obviously taking them for granted.
Once he sees that you’re no longer going out of your way to please him, he’ll start to question his behavior. (Well, I hope he will.)
Establecer límites es de suma importancia si quieres protégete de su comportamiento manipulador.
It will help you realize the things you’re doing for yourself and the things you’ve been doing for him that he didn’t appreciate whatsoever.
Céntrate en ti mismo
One of the greatest relationship advice of all times: When everything else fails, focus on yourself. When you’ve done all you could and you see that he still doesn’t realize the mistake of taking you for granted, just ignore him completely.
Do what makes YOU happy at the moment. Don’t worry about how he’ll perceive your decision to no longer settle for his selfish treatment.
A man cannot realize what he had if you don’t let him know what he lost. In this case, I refer to what he ‘temporarily’ lost.
Por supuesto, si ves que tu relación no tiene futuro and the problems are beyond fixing, you can easily replace the word ‘temporarily’ with ‘permanently’.
Let him know you’re TOTALLY fine without him
I’ve heard many women say: He took me for granted so I left him. He didn’t appreciate my gestures, so I stopped trying.
Here’s one for you: He took me for granted, so I showed him that I’m TOTALLY fine without him.
Live your best life and don’t think about him even for a second. Let him know that if you had to leave, you definitely would and that you would be fine without him.
Esto le recordará el hecho de que you’re an independent woman who knows how to take care of herself. You don’t need his lame behavior in your life because you know better.
You put up with his behavior so far because you wanted to and not because you had to. Now that you see he still hasn’t changed his game, you’ll give him a checkmate.
He’ll either open his eyes and realize what he’ll lose or he’ll keep taking you for granted. The only difference is that this time he knows you won’t tolerate the latter.
Don’t Take Me For Granted Quotes
Si quieres que él (y los demás) dejen de darte por sentado, tienes que recordarles que DEJEN de comportarse así.
One of the surefire ways to do so is by posting or sending them quotes about taking you for granted. These words of wisdom have the power to change everyone’s perception and he is not an exception.
1. “Learn my VALUE or earn my ABSENCE. Don’t take me for granted.” – Unknown
2. “When I give you my time, I’m giving you a portion of my life that I will never get back. So please don’t make me regret it.” – Unknown
3. “Never take a woman for granted because one day another guy will come along and appreciate what you didn’t.” – Unknown
4. “Don’t take me for granted because unlike the rest I’m not afraid to marcharse.” – Unknown
5. “Women are often overlooked, taken for granted. They can slip easily through a man’s defense.” – Stan Lee
6. “Just because I’m here for you all the time, doesn’t mean you can take me for granted.” – Unknown
7. “You need to stop doing things for someone when you find out it’s expected rather than appreciated.” – Unknown
8. “If they don’t appreciate your presence, perhaps you should try giving them tu ausencia.” – Tinku Razoria
9. “Even the most caring people can get tired of being taken for granted.” – Nishan Panwar
10. “If they don’t respect, appreciate and value you, then they don’t deserve you.” – Robert Tew
11. “It is sad when you realize you are not as important to someone as they are to you!” – Nikhil Andy
12. “Kindness should never be taken for granted because even the nicest people have their limits.” – Unknown
13. “Never take someone’s feelings for granted. Because you never know how much courage they took to show it to you.” – Unknown
14. “Don’t be mad because I don’t care anymore. Be mad because I once did, and you were too blind to see.” – Unknown
15. “Every time you take them for granted, you’re teaching them to live without you.” – Unknown
16. “Once you take me for granted, you’ll miss me when I stop doing the things I used to do for you.” – Unknown
17. “She used to love his kisses, but not anymore. She had lost him, somewhere along the way, and this man was a stranger-a stranger who took her for granted.” – Caroline Anderson
18. “When you have taken for granted the things that are important, you lose them eventually.” – Unknown
19. “I do not judge people at all, and I’m ALWAYS here to help anyone at any time. But please don’t take my help for granted.” – Unknown
20. “Don’t take me for granted. Cause when you lose me, I won’t come back.” – Unknown
21. “When you’re always there for people they stop appreciating you because your favors are now an expectation.” – Unknown
22. “You don’t need to waste your time on someone who only wants you around when it fits their needs. ” – Rajat Dogra
23. “If we don’t feel appreciated, we don’t feel loved.” – Jonathan Lockwood Huie
24. “As I was fighting for you, I realized I was fighting to be lied to; fighting to be taken for granted; fighting to be disappointed; and fighting to be hurt again…so I started fighting to let go.” – Unknown
25. “If you take someone for granted, you don’t deserve them. Be mature enough to let them move on to someone else who knows their worth.” – Unknown
El veredicto
Me da por sentado. ¿Dejará de hacerlo algún día?
Si le haces saber con tus acciones y palabras que no tolerarás más que te dé por sentada, puedes esperar uno de los siguientes resultados:
a) He will continue doing so (because he doesn’t care).
b) He’ll open his eyes and realize that he’s losing you (because he cares).
Una cosa es segura: si te quiere...vendrá a por ti y encontrará la manera de que la relación funcione. Todo lo demás es sólo una excusa.
