¿Cómo entender a un hombre? Consejos para una relación que cambia el juego

We always hear it… the famous phrase ”Los hombres son tan simples.” We lead our lives believing this lie and confining men within the boundaries of their gender.

Did you forget that they’re human beings first? Son tan complejas como cualquiera de nosotras, las mujeres.

What do I mean by this? How can you understand a man? How can you know he’s the one for you?

So many questions and the answers seem so out of reach… but they’re not. If you keep reading, you will have them all… and much more!

How Do You Read A Man’s Mind?

You can’t read a man’s mind any more than they can read yours.

We’re not sorcerers with superpowers, just human beings who can’t know what the other is feeling unless we ask them.

Yes, that’s right. If you want to know a man’s thoughts, there is no other way but to openly comunicarse con ellos.

I know that scares you because we are used to repressing our feelings and acting like they don’t matter. But, they do. Your peace of mind is of primary importance, and it’s actually your duty to achieve it.

So, the next time you’re having doubts about a man, share them. What’ve you got to lose? El único resultado podría ser una relación más amorosa (a menos que he’s too immature).

If you’re not in a relationship, though, you can still follow the same principle. Communication is ALWAYS key.

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¿Cómo entender a un hombre? Consejos a tener en cuenta

Para entender a un hombre, necesitas dos cosas: una mente abierta y empatía. Don’t stick to your old beliefs but rather expand your horizons and truly try to understand what’s hiding beneath the surface.

Now that we’ve established that, here’s what you need to know about the true nature of a man and how you need to act with him:

Nacido para ser tu superhéroe

¿Has notado cuánto disfruta un hombre arreglándote cosas?

¿Te has dado cuenta de lo satisfecho que se siente cuando cuida de ti?

Bueno, eso se llama instinto de héroe.

Esencialmente, a los hombres se les enseña que su papel en la vida es ser tu cuidador. Cuando no pueden ayudarte en todo lo que deseas, se sienten fracasados.

Voces del pasado resuenan en sus oídos y les dicen: ”One day, you’re going to get married, and you’re going to have to provide for your wife.”

It’s difficult to abandon your core beliefs. What they tell men in childhood, that’s who they’re going to be. And I’m sure we know what’s expected of each gender.

Even when they know how wrong these expectations are, it is still engraved in their minds, and they can’t just change overnight.

Cuando intentes comprender a un hombre, ten esto en cuenta y ayúdale a superarlo. Pero, bajo ningún concepto, satisfagas sus deseos grandiosos de ser tu héroe. Tú eres tu propio héroe. No lo olvides nunca.

Vino, vio, venció

What men want most is victory. It doesn’t matter what the final prize is as long as they have it. It can be a job promotion…or you.

¿Por qué es importante?

Well, it’s because the things men do aren’t without an explanation or cause. And, if they have a cause, they can be stopped.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Being ambitious and wanting to win is great. However, if this becomes their primary drive in life, that’s a problem.

You wouldn’t want to be one of his prizes, right? I’m sure you had another label in mind.

Well, then understand that this, too, stems from the childhood stories they listened to. You can help him understand that it’s okay to take it slow sometimes and that losing won’t make him weak.

Encourage him to be his best self but also remind him that he has nothing to prove and that he’s enough as he is.

Un libro cerrado

Los hombres tienden a ocultan sus sentimientos, but no, it’s not in their nature. It’s the result of a traumatic upbringing that made them learn to invalidate themselves.

You will never hear them complain. They solve their issues internally without your help. They might even call you dramatic for expressing your feelings, but they secretly hate that they’re not as brave as you.

¿Qué se puede hacer?

Pues empieza por abrirte a él. Hazle ver que vulnerabilidad emocional isn’t such a frightening thing. Then, encourage him to do the same.

You don’t have to do this directly. You can do it through your actions. Pero, bajo ningún concepto, le ridiculices si expresa sus emociones.

Más bien hazle preguntas y demuéstrale que le entiendes. Ambos le ayudaréis y haréis que vuestra relación sea más significativa.

Men don’t have to be ‘manly’

Are you the type of woman who judges a man when he’s emotional?

Do you tell him he’s weak?

If so, I hate to break it to you, but that’s not the wisest choice of words. It just le hace sentirse inseguro, so don’t be surprised if you start fighting or if he distances himself.

All their lives, men hear how they have to ‘toughen up.’ They aren’t even allowed to have a bad day without someone telling them that’s not a very ‘manly thing’ to do.

Al final, ese se convierte en su único deseo, y esto se llama masculinidad tóxica.

Well, guess what? It is the right of each man and woman to embrace their feelings. Neither is supposed to be only ‘manly’ or only ‘feminine.’

Men are not from Mars, and women are not from Venus. Men don’t have to like video games, and women don’t have to be fragile. They are both allowed to mix it up.

After all, we’re human, aren’t we? Our gender doesn’t matter much. So, the next time you feel like you’re about to utter something so hurtful, stop and think it through.

Wanting to understand a man isn’t the same thing as carefully observing what made him who he is and gently remedying the harmful effects.

What’s in the box?

Well, it’s not the remains of Brad Pitt’s wife, but neither is your man.

Sé que quieres que te revele la verdad. ¿Cómo entender realmente a un hombre? Pero, la única verdad es esta: Each man is different, and you can’t put them in a single box.

Algunos son machos alfa y otros tímidos. Algunos se te acercan solo para jugar contigo, y otros quieren compromiso.

They DO NOT possess the same wishes and needs as many have made you believe. If you can’t figure your man out, try talking to him. Or, simply analyze what’s there in front of you.

Don’t hold onto stereotypes because, trust me, they will not help you. You will only end up feeding your mind with falsehoods, which will make you unnecessarily miserable.

En su lugar, confía en tu capacidad de pensamiento crítico, intuición y empatía.

Remember – Aunque existen ciertas similitudes, al igual que con las mujeres, cada hombre es un individuo. Trátelos como tales.

Véase también: ¿Puede un hombre acostarse con una mujer sin desarrollar sentimientos?

¿Cómo hacer que un hombre te entienda?

Well, you can’t magically achieve that.

Los dos sois adultos perfectamente capaces de solucionar las cosas. Así que, en lugar de quejarte de él con tus amigos y buscar respuestas en internet, haz esto:

• Calmly explain to him why you’re upset.

• Remember that you’re seeking a solution, not more problems.

• Listen to his side of the story.

• Both of you clearly state your needs.

• Take accountability for your actions.

• Actively work to become better partners.

Si tiene un pareja evasiva, though, you’re going to have to approach the matter with a little more caution and empathy.

¿Cómo saber si un hombre es para ti?

We all have our doubts. It’s not strange to question the love we have for someone or the love someone has for us.

So, if you’re unsure whether the guy in front of you is the right one, here are some signs that will help you with that:

1. No hay necesidad de fingir.

Sé que a menudo reprimes partes de ti misma para atraer a los hombres. Pero, cuando finalmente encuentras una buenano es necesario.

No hay señales contradictorias, and you are finally able to be who you are, and so is he. You celebrate each other’s differences and enjoy what you have in common.

Tus bromas siempre se entienden, tus sentimientos nunca se juzgan y cada palabra que dices se aprecia como un evangelio.

Todos estos son signos de que un hombre te ama de verdad.

2. Emoción imperecedera.

I’m sure you’ve all felt it…the overwhelming enthusiasm that their presence brings. You can’t get the smile off of your face. It lights up each second you’re with him.

Puedes sentir que he’s attracted to you. La química es incomparable, y la contacto visual prolongado makes you feel like this is what you’ve been waiting for all your life. Su lenguaje corporal says it, too. Also, you can’t wait to choose a perfectly novio lindo nombre de contacto para él.

He’s not one to change after the honeymoon phase but rather makes the whole relationship a fase de luna de miel.

That’s how you know he’s the right man for you.

3. Una mente que rechaza a todos los demás.

Do you know that line from Lana Del Rey’s song: ‘‘Why wait for the best when I could have you?”

Well, if you’ve found a high-value guy, you know exactly what she’s talking about.

When that happens, you don’t care that le caes bien a tu compañero de trabajo ni que tu amigo está secretamente enamorado de ti. You don’t see any of them.

You feel like you’ve found what you’ve been looking for for so long. Why, then, would you look elsewhere?

4. La amistad en llamas.

If you’re in a long-term relationship, I’m sure you’ll agree with me that friendship is what truly makes it special. Yes, atracción física is important, but that’s not what makes it last.

If you’re not able to have fun as friends and share intimate thoughts with each other, then what’s the point?

So, if you’ve found a true friend in a man, I assure you that you’ve also found the perfect partner.

5. Un alma que reconoce lo que buscó.

Realmente sientes cuando un hombre es el adecuado para ti, a veces incluso después de la primera cita... Hay una conexión inexplicable que nadie ni nada es capaz de romper. Por primera vez en tu vida, te sientes segura y comprendida.

With other guys, there were always barriers you never dared to cross, but with him, those barriers don’t exist. You are drawn to each other to the point where you merge. If you feel this way, that’s your sign.

P.S. If you still haven’t found a guy who has made you feel the things described above, try reading ”To Date a Man, You Must Understand a Man: The Keys to Catch a Great Guy (Dating and Relationship Advice for Women).’’

Another great book to help you understand a man better is ”Power Texting Men,” and both are written by Gregg Michaelsen, a relationship expert.

De este modo, aumentarás tus posibilidades de entablar una relación seria con un hombre.

¿Cómo hacer que un hombre se dé cuenta de que ha cometido un error?

Bueno, díselo.

How can he realize that he made a mistake if you don’t let him know? You can’t be mad with someone over something they have no clue about.

Este es uno de los mayores errores que cometen las mujeres. Olvidan que una buena comunicación es signo de una relación sana. Así que sé tú quien lo practique. Háblalo y ve dónde está el problema.

If he refuses to accept the blame even after all your efforts, then I’m afraid that’s a major red flag. If he doesn’t respect you enough to take your feelings into consideration, he is just bad news.

Odio decirte esto, pero lo mejor sería que te fueras.

On the other hand, if he’s willing to put in the necessary work to remedy what he has done, he’s an hombre emocionalmente maduro que siempre debes apreciar.

¿Cómo hacer que un chico te eche de menos?

¿Estás deseando recuperar a tu ex? O, ¿estás enamorada de un chico que de repente dejó de enviarte mensajes?

Si de mí dependiera, te diría que un chico que te rechaza isn’t worthy of your efforts.

But, since it’s not, I am here to show you that not all hope is lost. Here are some pieces of dating advice that will make him rush back to you immediately:

Sé el alma de la fiesta

Por alguna extraña razón, los chicos a menudo distanciarse tras la intimidad, so if you want him to miss you, you have to show him that you’re having a great time without him.

So, go out with your friends, travel to new cities, and post pictures to show him that you don’t really need him. Also, don’t text him and he will text you.

Se acercará a ti por dos razones:

1. He can’t stand that you’ve forgotten all about him.

2. He’s attracted to your energetic spirit and wants to be a part of your life.

En cualquier caso, tú ganas.

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Trabaja tu viejo encanto

A veces, los hombres se alejan porque sólo necesito algo de espacio. It’s not necessarily over. But, we don’t have time for such analysis.

If you want to win him back, it’s essential that you acentuar todo lo que hizo que se enamorara de ti en primer lugar.

¿Era tu personalidad juguetona? ¿O tu carácter obstinado?

Whatever it was, make sure that you bring back the old you to help you seduce him. Join forces and remind him of what he lost. He’ll come right back knocking at your door!

Or, if you’re too impatient, just dile que te gusta. You’ve got nothing to lose.

Muéstrale que tienes opciones

Tal vez he doesn’t want a relationship with you en este momento, pero aún puede ser motivado a cambiar de opinión, ¡y nada puede motivar más a un hombre que la presencia de otro hombre!

Así que siéntete libre de ser un poco coqueta y de hazte el duro, or if you dislike playing games, then simply mention how many suitors you have when he’s around.

You will notice that he’s paying attention because he just can’t stand the competition! Que otro te tenga es aún peor que no tenerte. Un poco raro, pero es lo que hay.

The bottom line is that if you make him jealous, you’ve done half the job of winning him back!

Tip: While it’s valid to act on your feelings, you also need to understand the importance of mutual effort. If he doesn’t try at all, then maybe it’s time to finally let go.

Saber cuándo alejarse

Un hombre usará muchos estrategias furtivas y manipuladoras para seducirte. Aprende a reconocerlos en lugar de ceder a su poder porque he’s just playing you.

Sé sincero contigo mismo. Un hombre que quiere estar contigo WILL be with you. It’s that simple. Move on and find someone who will truly appreciate you instead of focusing on a guy who won’t even lift a finger.

¿Cómo hago que se dé cuenta de mi valor?

Pues empieza por darte cuenta tú mismo.

If he disrespects you often, don’t make excuses for him. Demand the respect you give him. Granted, if he were a quality man who really cared about you, you wouldn’t have to tell him any of this. But alright, we are only human after all.

Establecer límites

Let him know what is okay to do and what is not. Let him do the same. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you are each other’s slaves. That’s not what boundaries are.

Los límites sólo existen para que podáis mantener una relación más sana. Antes de ser compañeros, sois individuos con necesidades distintas.

This is why it’s crucial to state them instead of just hoping that your partner will fulfill them without even knowing what they are.

Now, I know I’m no dating coach, but here’s an honest piece of advice: Nunca tendrás que demostrar tu valía a una mujer o un hombre que te quiera de verdad. Te apreciarán sin necesidad de que se lo digas.

Conclusión

In order to understand a man, you need to look at him with unbiased eyes. Don’t put him in a box with the rest of them but rather see him for the individual he is.

If you have a problem, say what it is clearly. It won’t disappear until you face it together. But, remember – no se trata de vosotros contra vosotros, sino de vosotros contra el problema.

Sin embargo, si notas que un hombre no tiene interés en contribuir a la relación, quiérete a ti mismo lo suficiente como para marcharse.

Every woman needs and deserves a great love story, so don’t settle for less.