Qué significa ser vulnerable emocionalmente y por qué es importante
Todos experimentamos tristeza y angustia. A veces, puede llegar a ser tan difícil vivir con ello que simplemente lo apagamos. Nos negamos a sentirla porque, ¿por qué íbamos a hacerlo? Nos aleja de todo lo que podríamos disfrutar.
Pensamos que esos sentimientos son un signo de debilidad y una pérdida de tiempo. La vergüenza y el autojuicio suelen estar presentes porque la gente nos dice constantemente que no estemos tristes y que todo va a salir bien.
¿Te has cansado de negarte a sentir dolor?
¿Sigues haciéndolo porque crees que te hace fuerte?
Well, I’m here to show you that being strong means something else entirely…
Verás que sentir pena es esencial para tu bienestar y que ser emocionalmente vulnerable conlleva muchas ventajas. Si quieres saber cuáles son exactamente, así como qué es realmente la vulnerabilidad emocional, sigue leyendo para descubrirlo.
¿Qué es la vulnerabilidad emocional?
Emotional vulnerability is one’s ability to abrazar cada emoción as it is. There’s no division in the degree of importance between negative and positive emotions. Ambos son igualmente aceptados y tratados de forma saludable.
When we hear the term ’emotional vulnerability,’ what comes to mind are negative feelings, specifically pain and anger. The primary purpose of this personality trait is to allow such emotions to exist.
En su famoso libro Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (Atreverse a lo grande: cómo el valor de ser vulnerable transforma nuestra forma de vivir, amar, ser padres y dirigir), Dr. Brené Brown gives her own definition of vulnerability: ”uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.”
¿Qué significa esto?
Significa que temes el rechazo, pero al mismo tiempo temes que te conozcan.
En su charla TED profundiza en el papel de la vergüenza Escuchar la vergüenza. Habla de las diferentes formas en que hombres y mujeres ven la vulnerabilidad.
Los segundos sienten que tienen que ocultar su dolor porque deben ser independientes y perfectos, mientras que los primeros quieren ser percibidos como varoniles.
Shame can indeed prevent us from being vulnerable, both in front of others as well as ourselves. But that’s natural, and you can overcome it by embracing vulnerability more each day.
What’s important to know is that you don’t have to feel all your emotions all the time. That would be very unhealthy and would ultimately lead to self-destruction. So, if you’re someone who focuses on your pain 24/7, please keep that in mind.
Por mucho que tengas que reconocer que te dueleTambién tienes que seguir viviendo tu vida.
¿Cómo es la vulnerabilidad emocional?
La vulnerabilidad emocional puede manifestarse de distintas maneras. Puede ser algo tan simple como una conversación o que alguien llore desconsoladamente.
Cada persona lo hace de forma diferente. Tal vez haga un análisis completo en profundidad o diga solo unas palabras, pero sin dejar de transmitir su significado. What’s important is that each of these is a genuine expression of how you feel.
If you’re still uncertain about what emotional vulnerability looks like, here are a few examples:
•talking about family problems
-decirle a tu mejor amigo que le aprecias
•apologizing for your wrong-doings
•not pretending to be happy when you’re sad
•allowing yourself to cry if you need to
•telling someone that they’ve hurt your feelings
•discussing your mental health issues
•revealing past traumatic experiences.
¿Es bueno ser vulnerable?
Being emotionally vulnerable is often perceived as weakness, but this is far from the truth. Such people are actually stronger than those who repress their emotions precisely because they’re not afraid of them.
La vulnerabilidad emocional es un rasgo que siempre hay que celebrar y no desaprobar o rechazar.
Sin embargo, aunque la vulnerabilidad emocional tiene muchas ventajas, pueden surgir ciertos problemas.
¿Por qué algunas personas desearían ser menos vulnerables emocionalmente?
The answer is pretty simple – it’s due to the intensity of their feelings. For them, it’s too much, and they can hardly handle it.
Of course, it’s perfectly valid to feel this way. You can feel overwhelmed by your own inner world. However, I’m here to show you all the ways emotional vulnerability enriches your life and makes you braver than ever.
Véase también: La mejor pareja para una persona muy sensible: 15 rasgos principales
12 beneficios de ser vulnerable emocionalmente
Aunque a veces resulte difícil, la vulnerabilidad emocional te proporciona un gran número de beneficios que cambiarán tu vida para siempre.
Su influencia positiva no sólo te hace más capaz de superar cualquier obstáculo que se te presente, sino que también influye enormemente en tus relaciones.
¿Cómo se manifiesta esta influencia positiva?
¿De qué manera la vulnerabilidad emocional cambia tus relaciones?
Pues así es cómo:
1. Te ayuda a establecer conexiones humanas genuinas.
¿Siempre se abstiene de compartir algo privado?
¿Cuánto te conocen tus amigos?
Puedo decir con certeza que el día que empecé a ser más vulnerable emocionalmente fue el día que aprendí a crear verdaderas amistades y relaciones románticas más íntimas.
Piensa en ello. ¿Hasta qué punto puede alguien amarte si todo lo que sabe son detalles superficiales de tu vida cotidiana que todo el mundo conoce? Pero cuando se comparte algo genuino y crudo, se crea un vínculo que no se rompe fácilmente.
Even if you stop talking, it never ceases to be there. All that you’ve ever shared connects you to each other forever. There’s a truth between you that silence cannot destroy.
2. Te enfrentas más fácilmente al dolor.
Si crees que negándote a reconocer el dolor, éste desaparecerá por arte de magia, estás muy equivocado.
Suppressing your emotions never helps but rather hurts you all the more. Moreover, it’s a sign of low self-esteem. When you realize this, you’re going to become stronger and more resilient.
Cuanto más aceptes y valida tu dolor, the easier it will be to deal with it. If you don’t, it simply magnifies and makes you weak without you even realizing it.
Créeme, dejar salir tus emociones nunca es una debilidad, te digan lo que te digan. La única forma de superar tus problemas es ser honesto con uno mismo.
After all, isn’t suppression really fear? You’re afraid of what will happen if you face yourself. But I’m afraid the real question is what will happen if you don’t.
3. You’re more self-conscious.
When you allow yourself to feel all your emotions, you start gaining more self-knowledge. If you refuse to feel pain, you also never stop to think about why it’s there, right?
Well, this is why when you finally let it out, you’re also able to determine its root cause.
For instance, quite often, we turn grief into anger. We don’t want to appear weak, so it’s easier to rant about how much something annoys you.
When you realize what your anger really means, you can think about why it’s there in the first place. There is great power in self-awareness. Don’t ever forget that!
4. Aprendes a leer a la gente.
Como dijo Aristóteles: ”Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”
Emotional vulnerability doesn’t only help you with that, but with knowing others too. You’re more careful about letting new people inside your circle because you can see right through them.
Tu sabiduría te permite diferenciar entre los que tienen buenas intenciones y los que sólo te traerán perjuicios.
Además, te tomas las cosas menos a pecho. Ves cuando los demás falta de confianza y se dejan llevar por sus inseguridades y son conscientes de que sus arrebatos rara vez tienen que ver contigo.
5. You’re ready to take accountability.
It’s in the nature of human beings to echar la culpa a otro when they’re not ready to deal with it. You’re not fully aware of the consequences of your actions because you refuse to sit down and think about them.
You’re ready to gaslight people into thinking it’s their fault, or you dismiss the situation altogether.
However, when you’re more emotionally vulnerable, you have no problem admitting your own misdeeds. You’re not afraid to go on a guilt trip, but you rather take accountability for them.
Cuando te enfrentas internamente a una situación, también tienes el poder de cambiarla.
6. You’re a better friend.
There are many people who tell you to deal with sadness by looking at the bright side. That’s a telltale sign that they’re not emotionally vulnerable because when you are, you’re more careful about the advice you give.
You’ve been there, and you know how liberating it is to express all that you feel. So, when someone comes to you for comfort, you encourage them to do the same.
Sentir tus propias emociones te hace más capaz de empatizar con los demás. This is why you’re probably the friend that everyone seeks when they’re sad.
7. You don’t have to suffer alone anymore.
It’s not uncommon for people to think that their sadness is only their burden to bear. They either don’t want to trouble others, or they’re afraid to open up. Either way, having to go through it alone leaves them exhausted.
Sin embargo, las personas emocionalmente vulnerables nunca dudan en compartir lo que sienten. When you realize that your emotions are valid, opening up isn’t a problem anymore.
You freely talk about things that bother you so you don’t have to do it alone.
P.S. Make sure to check if your friends have the mental space to listen to you. You don’t want to unload all your problems on them if they have their own to deal with.
8. Te das cuenta del valor de todas las emociones.
It’s not unusual if you think that negative emotions are bad. After all, ever since we were children, society has told us to keep smiling because there’s no use in being sad.
La vulnerabilidad emocional te hace darte cuenta de lo tóxico que es este tipo de pensamiento. Te hace valorar por igual tanto las emociones negativas como las positivas.
¿Odias sentirte enfadado? Your anger is a form of self-protection. It exists because you love yourself enough to confront someone that’s hurting you in any way.
¿Siente ansiedad a menudo? That’s just you caring about yourself enough to not want to end up in a dangerous situation.
I’m not trying to say that you should go around and yell at people and call it amor propio. Just don’t judge yourself but rather be ready to embrace all emotions to make sense of them.
9. You’re free to be your true self.
Ser abiertos sobre quiénes somos a menudo nos asusta porque tenemos miedo al rechazo. Así que nos andamos con pies de plomo, hablamos de cosas triviales y lo llamamos amistad.
Emotionally vulnerable people don’t have a problem with auto-traición. They show you their authentic self because they don’t know how to be anyone else.
They’ve fully accepted their emotions and are ready to express them in all their intensity. The liberation that comes with emotional vulnerability is unparalleled. Once you experience it, you’ll grieve the years you lost to suppression.
10. You’ll know people truly love you.
When you show someone your true colors, you don’t have to question their love for you. You know that they’re beside you because they want to be.
This is why people don’t reveal much. It’s in our nature to want to be loved, and if they think that there’s the slightest chance of ruining that by telling the truth, they won’t take it.
However, when you hesitate to bring up the worst parts of you, it won’t be the real you that they love but rather a filtered version, and wouldn’t you want to be loved for who you truly are?
Así que ve y cuéntale a tu pareja todo sobre ese miedo de toda la vida. Establezca una mejor conexión emocional.
11. Genera confianza.
Cuando dos personas comparten sus secretos, también se acercan. Closeness helps them build trust, so every time they’re in need of a listener, they know who to come to.
If you’re honest about yourself, you probably dislike lies of any kind. The other person senses this, and it draws them to you. They know that they can rely on you.
Además, les inspiras a ser auténticos también, lo que crea respeto y aprecio mutuos.
12. Te ayuda a crecer.
As mentioned before, emotional vulnerability helps you figure out why you feel the way you do. This is crucial because then you’re able to do something about it. You’re able to GROW.
¿Cómo puede convertirse en el la mejor versión de ti mismo si no tienes conciencia de ti mismo?
Many people try, but they rely on toxic positivity to get the wanted results. Since that’s not the wisest course of action due to a lack of self-acceptance, they only improve on a superficial level.
Por otro lado, being emotionally vulnerable can make you a better person in a way that won’t damage your mental health but will rather show you how to honor all that you are.
¿Cómo ser más vulnerable emocionalmente? 10 técnicas útiles
After spending the majority of your life hiding your emotions, it can be really difficult to start practicing emotional vulnerability. But, the important thing is that you’re here, and you’re eager to make changes in your life.
If you feel exhausted from constantly suppressing your true self, I’m here to help you aligera tu pesado corazón. Para ser más vulnerable emocionalmente, puedes probar lo siguiente:
1. Lleva un diario.
Si te incomoda compartir detalles íntimos con los demás, siempre puedes probar a escribirlos.
Cómprate un cuaderno y elige tu momento ideal del día para sentarte y volcar tu alma en tus escritos.
It doesn’t have to be a poetic masterpiece. What matters is that you manage to convey all that you truly feel. Leave nothing out, no matter how scary it sounds.
If you’re scared of someone finding your journal, you can use a second language that those around you don’t speak, or you can simply hide it very well.
If you don’t like the idea of a diary, you can write daily or weekly letters. You can always destroy them afterward. However, I’d like to encourage you to keep it so you can come back to it later and use it for introspection.
Examining your own words days or even months after you’ve written them can be useful for your overall crecimiento personal.
2. Comparte tus secretos con alguien.
If you’re slightly more daring (and I hope that you are), you may decide to open up to another person. Speak about the things that torment you that you’ve never been able to share with anyone else.
Emotional exposure can indeed be scary, but it’s freeing to finally have someone who cares about what you have to say.
¿Y qué si una vez te traicionaron? No todo el mundo es así, y puede que estés perdiendo la oportunidad de establecer una verdadera conexión por culpa de un agravio del pasado.
P.S. Beware that you don’t turn into a buscador de validación. Habla con aliviar el dolorno preguntar a nadie si lo que sientes está bien, porque siempre lo está.
3. Dile a la gente lo que sientes por ellos.
This is yet another thing that’s considered to be a weakness. Telling others what you think of them somehow makes you feel uncomfortable, yet every time you do, you notice how much they appreciate it.
Siempre que tengas algo genuino que decir, dilo. Si quieres a alguien, díselo. Si echas de menos a tus seres queridos, acércate a ellos.
Don’t be ashamed of your vulnerability because it only makes you strong enough to change your life for the better.
4. Don’t lie about how you feel.
Being emotionally vulnerable means not hiding how you really feel. It’s all about letting go of the fear that the other person won’t like you anymore. Or, it’s about being afraid but still opting for vulnerability.
That might come with great emotional risk, but those who are meant to be by your side won’t let you down, no matter what you reveal to them. Remember that!
Only people who don’t care enough about you would judge you for the way you feel. Think of it as a test of trust. See who your real friends are. Just make sure you don’t ever hide yourself para complacer a otra persona. Eso es autodestrucción en su máxima expresión.
If someone dislikes your freedom of expression, it’s only because they don’t have it. Others can only be inspired by it.
Share who you are with the world, and you’ll see that the world will not only rejoice but also return the favor!
5. Exponga sus necesidades.
We’ve mentioned that vulnerability is essentially self-exposure. This is why it’s important to always clearly state what you need.
Aprendes a valorarte mejor, pero también eres sincero con la otra persona. Hacer lo contrario sólo puede conducir al resentimiento, lo quieras o no.
¿Necesitas tiempo a solas? Explain to your friends that you’re not feeling too well and really need some distance at the moment.
¿No puede salir como estaba previsto? Cancélalo si no te encuentras bien. Los verdaderos amigos lo entenderán.
La conclusión es que nunca debes esforzarte por complacer a los demás mientras te decepcionas a ti mismo. Así que di lo que necesites y deja que los demás piensen lo que quieran. Los que te quieren entenderán la importancia de los límites personales.
6. Acepta también tus emociones negativas.
Tanto los sentimientos positivos como los negativos conforman lo que eres. Por qué solo aceptas ciertas partes de ti mismo?
Don’t be tricked by society into thinking that you should only feel positive emotions. As we’ve previously established, the negative ones are also a sign of self-love. Change your perception, and stop judging yourself for feeling sad and angry.
Each emotion has a purpose. You wouldn’t experience a whole range of them if it were otherwise. So stop thinking that negative emotions are inherently bad.
Los sentimientos NUNCA pueden ser dañinos, pero PUEDEN llevarte a comportamientos dañinos.
This is precisely why it’s relevant to abandon self-judgment. If you believe that what you feel is valid, you will deal with it. If you judge yourself, the negative emotions will only grow.
7. Admite tus errores.
A perfect way to become more emotionally vulnerable is to admit when you’ve done something wrong.
¿Ha ofendido a su compañero de trabajo? Ve y discúlpate.
¿Ha exagerado durante una pelea con su pareja? Go and say you didn’t mean it like that.
Whatever it is, practice full self-awareness. Just make sure that you don’t turn the problem into a therapy session. When you apologize, don’t focus on the reasons behind your behavior but on the consequences it produced.
Asume tu responsabilidad, pero recuerda que no se trata de ti, sino de la otra persona.
8. Prueba la terapia.
Si se siente emocionalmente insensible y no eres capaz de cambiarlo por ti mismo, acude a un terapeuta. Te ayudarán a averiguar qué te hace sentir así.
Emociones reprimidas puede ser un problema, pero que sin embargo es posible resolver. Todo lo que hace falta es tu fuerza y determinación.
I’m sure that all things repression hid from you will come back to the surface in no time, allowing you to live a life of complete emotional vulnerability.
9. Estar cerca de personas emocionalmente vulnerables.
It’s very simple – if you want to be more emotionally vulnerable, surround yourself with such people. Que otros se muestren vulnerables te inspirará para expresar tus propios sentimientos y necesidades.
It’s no wonder they say that you become the people who you’re with. After all, you devote your time to them, and eventually, their personalities will merge with yours.
Think about it this way: You’re constantly in the presence of those who mock you when you’re sad, or worse, those who attempt to tell you that you shouldn’t feel that way.
¿Cómo actuaría en el futuro tras recibir este tipo de comentarios?
Do you think you’d ever open up to them again?
This is why it’s so relevant to be around understanding people who have the emotional intelligence to keep your well-being in mind.
10. Dedica tiempo al arte.
Otra forma de volverte más vulnerable emocionalmente es sumergiéndote en el arte. Dedica parte de tu tiempo a los libros o al cine, lo que más te guste, y lee poesía que te quite el aliento.
There’s truly nothing more influential than a great poem. Ver cómo se expresan los demás te ayudará a encontrar las palabras para tus propios sentimientos. Naturally, they needn’t be extraordinary. Just make them real.
Verbaliza lo que ocurre en tu mundo interior. Valora tus emociones igual que los personajes de las historias que lees. Al fin y al cabo, tú eres el protagonista de TU historia.
¿Por qué es tan atractiva la vulnerabilidad?
It’s attractive because it’s genuine.
You may fall for the way someone looks, but there’s nothing truly fascinating about that. But when they share their fears and sorrows with you, you can’t help but look at them differently.
There are so many people trying their best to conceal who they are. And then, you finally come across someone who’s ready to reveal themselves to you.
Regardless of the nature of the relationship, you’re bound to be captivated. There’s really nothing more attractive than honesty in its purest form. Cuando las emociones crudas salen de alguien, te sientes más curioso y más cerca que nunca.
Reflexiones finales
Being emotionally vulnerable requires true strength. You don’t lack the bravery to look inside your mind and accept whatever you find there. You actually welcome it because you know it’s the right thing to do for your mental health.
Los numerosos beneficios que conlleva la vulnerabilidad emocional te permiten vivir una vida que antes no podías.
Deja de reprimir tus emociones porque sólo te hace daño. En lugar de eso, enamórate de cuidarte. Puedes empezar reconociendo cada emoción a medida que surja.
