Cómo distanciarse de alguien fácilmente
Ending a romantic relationship is sometimes easier than ending a friendship. Unless you choose to cheat, most of the time, you’re with one person, and you know you can’t really find a healthy relationship until you leave.
Most people break up with their partners when they want to end a romantic relationship, yet it doesn’t even come to mind that puedes salir de otro tipo de relaciones de la misma manera. When you’re unhappy in a friendship, you can get other friends without moving on, so you stay in a relationship that doesn’t work.
Besides, you might be trying to leave a relationship different from a friendship where there’s nothing left.
It might be a co-worker who annoys you and ruins your day at work or an entitled family member who doesn’t understand that you don’t have to obey them. It might be someone you worry about too much or simply someone you just don’t like being around.
Let’s see how to distance yourself from someone toxic and what to do when you don’t want to hurt the other person, you don’t want drama, or you don’t want to burn bridges.
Cómo distanciarse de alguien en su vida
How do you get out of a friendship with someone? Usually, you let it fade away on its own – this is indeed the easiest way, and you’ll see how to do it – but A veces, hay que poner fin a las cosas explícitamente.
It might be someone you still care for, but you don’t want them in your life anymore for some reason, or someone you have to see on a daily basis, so you can‘t really avoid them.
Por ejemplo, cuando quieres poner fin a una amistad que en su día fue importante y quieres honrar lo que solíais tener, o cuando necesitas distanciarte de un familiar que te pide demasiado, dejar que se desvanezca por sí sola podría no servir.
Lo que creas que tienes que hacer, su salud mental debe ser una prioridad – if someone isn’t good for you, letting them go is the only way to move forward.
1. Asegúrate de que realmente quieres hacerlo
First of all, don’t do anything unless and until you’re sure. Don’t call up a friend and break up with them on a whim. Deciding to end a friendship isn’t easy, and the reasons aren’t always simple. Si te precipitas sólo porque te han molestado, podrías arrepentirte.
Think about your life without this person in it: is it better without them? Carefully consider your options and only take action when you’re sure.
2. Prepare
Once you’ve decided that it’s over, you must mentally prepare to move on. En primer lugar, crea distancia por tu parte y facilítate las cosas. Empieza por reducir las interacciones con ellos y no estés disponible más a menudo.
Strengthen your other relationships so you’re not tempted to go back when you’re lonely or bored. Get rid of memories and mementos that might make you falter because of nostalgia. Stay strong by reminding yourself why you’re doing this.
3. Crear distancia física
Devuélveles las cosas que tengas de ellos y restringe el acceso todo lo posible. Deja de hacer planes con ellos y deja de acercarte primero – no phone calls and no casual texting. Take a long time to reply to their text messages when they reach out.
Establece límites e intenta evitar el contacto. Approach this the same way you would enforce the ‘no contact rule’ cuando se rompe con una pareja.
Stay away from them as much as possible. By keeping a physical space, you’ll be able to distance yourself slowly, which is the easiest way to do it.
4. Crear distancia emocional
It’s not unusual to feel guilty about leaving someone you can’t be friends with. You might feel like this, especially if they haven’t done anything specific you could pinpoint as a cause for wanting to distance yourself.
Remind yourself why you’re doing it, and make a clean break. Lower your expectations of the relationship and reduce your interactions to a minimum. Don’t talk to them about personal stuff – only speak to them on a surface level when you have to.
A veces, la negligencia y el hecho de estar cada vez menos disponible pueden bastar para distanciarse de alguien.
Steps 1–4 from this list are enough if you want to let it happen naturally, but if you don’t want to distance yourself quietly, there are other things you can do.
5. Sé amable, honesto y educado
Siéntate con la persona con la que quieres terminar y habla con ella. Plantéatelo como una ruptura, pero de forma amistosa. Openly tell them what’s going on and be respectful. Make sure to tell them it’s over directly, but don’t pick a fight.
Cuando hables con ellos, céntrate en lo que necesitas en ese momento, no en sus defectos. Let them know that you’re doing this for yourself. Try to leave the door open for the future even if you don’t intend to reconcile with them.
6. If they try to change your mind or argue, don’t engage
Puede que la otra persona no esté dispuesta a aceptarlo, sobre todo si tiene una personalidad tóxica. In this case, standing your ground isn’t easy, but don’t let them convince you to change your mind.
If you make this decision after considering it carefully, they won’t be able to change your mind with anything they say. Discutir contigo es una falta de respeto. y una señal de que se preocupan por ti.
7. Rodéate de apoyo
Necesitas apoyo después de terminar con un amigo, igual que cuando rompes con una pareja. Rodéate de tus amigos íntimos y de tu familia para que te ayuden a superarlo.
Contar con un sistema de apoyo te ayudará a mantenerte firme en tu decisión y a seguir adelante mucho más fácil y rápidamente.
8. Mantente ocupado
Focus on your hobbies and passions to keep yourself distracted instead of dwelling on and questioning your decision. If the person you’re distancing yourself from used to be a close friend, this situation might be as difficult as breaking up with a significant other. It’s okay to need time and distractions to get over it.
9. Acepta que puedes perder a otras personas
If you and the person you’re distancing yourself from are family or have mutual friends, some of them might not see your point of view and decide to choose sides. Some might try to persuade you to change your mind, especially if you’re related.
Let them know that you don’t appreciate meddling and that you have your reasons for wanting to distance yourself.
10. Recuerda que you don’t have to justify yourself to anyone
The person you want to distance yourself from or other people in your life might want you to explain what’s going on. It’s fine if you want to tell them, but keep in mind that you chose this for your well-being, and you don’t owe it to anyone to tell them why.
If you feel discouraged because you’re getting questions and demands from all sides, tell yourself, “This is my life, and I’ll live it the way I want to.” This isn’t selfish – it’s healthy.
Los límites deben respetarse en las relaciones sanas, y quienes te hacen cuestionar tu decisión de convertirte en una prioridad los están violando.
11. Asume tu parte de responsabilidad
Relationships are about what’s between people, so how they turn out depends on everyone involved. The relationship you’ve decided to end was influenced by you as much as the other person.
Don’t blame everything on them – even if they are toxic, asumir la responsabilidad por dejarte involucrar.
Also, consider that if a lot of your relationships don’t work, it might be something that you’re doing. If you find everyone irritating, or if you feel like you’re often treated unfairly, consider examining your feelings and behavior.
A veces hay problemas subyacentes que dificultan las relaciones, y hasta que no los afrontes, tus relaciones, tanto románticas como platónicas, se resentirán.
12. Perdonar a la otra persona
Una forma sana de seguir adelante es optar por perdonar a la otra persona por lo que haya hecho mal. Acepta que sucedió y cómo te afectó, pero toma la decisión de dejar de darle vueltas y perdonarles.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to let the other person back into your life. All it means is that you’re getting rid of negative feelings that hold you back. If you keep thinking about how they hurt you, you’re still letting them hurt you.
Perdónalos por tu propio bien.
13. Deje de comunicarse con ellos
Puede que no sea necesario bloquearlos, a menos que decidan rechazar tu decisión o si crees que podrías tener la tentación de ponerte en contacto con ellos a tu pesar.
Intenta dificultar o imposibilitar la comunicación. Pide a amigos o familiares comunes que no te hablen de ellos y deja de seguir sus cuentas en las redes sociales.
Getting a notification from them on an app might make you fall into a habit of liking their posts or replying to their attempts to contact you, so it’s best to make sure you can’t.
14. Evitar los lugares que frecuentan durante un tiempo
Sólo porque dejar de ser amigo de alguien doesn’t mean you don’t want to see them ever again, but al principio, podría ser mejor mantenerse alejado. If you know they’re going to be somewhere, decide to keep your distance for your own sake.
Verlos podría hacerte caer en el hábito de volver a hablar con ellos, lo que iría en contra del propósito de tu decisión, así que by avoiding them, you’re helping yourself stay strong.
If you’re unable to stay away because you go to school or work together and you have to see them, check out the section below that talks about this.
15. Centrarse en la curación
Terminar con alguien que solía ser tu mejor amigo es a veces tan difícil como terminar con una pareja. Haz algo que te ayude a recuperarte y mantente positivo.
Be kind to yourself at this point and let yourself grieve the relationship that doesn’t exist anymore. Think about it this way: your relationship had its place and time, and now it’s time for you to move on.
16. Dale tiempo
Distanciarse es difícil al principio, sobre todo si estabas muy implicado con la otra persona. Las cosas se hacen más fáciles con el tiempo, y es más fácil dejarlo ir cuanto más consistente eres en mantenerte alejado.
You might be missing your friend today, but you still know that what you’ve done is for a good reason. If you persevere, in a while, you’ll be fine.
17. Salir y conocer gente nueva
Making new friends might be the last thing on your mind at the moment. Don’t think of it as finding a ‘rebound friendship’ but having the oportunidad de ampliar su círculo social now that you’re not worried and anxious because of your former friend.
18. Busca ayuda profesional si la necesitas
Wanting a healthy relationship isn’t only limited to your love life. Taking steps to make sure you’re surrounded with positivity might prove to be a challenge.
Si sientes que necesitas ayuda para afrontarlo, el asesoramiento psicológico es inestimable. Someone with an outside perspective is able to shed light on things you can’t see because of how emotionally involved you are.
19. Definir nuevos límites
Learn from this relationship, and recall what it is that this person did wrong. This will help you figure out what’s important to you and what you can’t accept.
Cuando define tus límitesComuníquelos y avise a la gente si los traspasa.
Sin embargo, nada es inamovible. Los límites pueden cambiar y moverse. Things that didn’t bother you yesterday might be a problem today, so don’t be afraid to let people know.
For example, if you used to be fine with people visiting unannounced, but you don’t want it anymore, some people might ignore you when you tell them to call ahead. When you let people know that something isn’t okay, refuse to accept their disrespect just because it was okay in the past.
20. Ser coherente
La constancia es esencial para tener éxito en cualquier cosa, incluso para mantener las distancias con alguien.
If you flip between talking to them and not talking to them, you’re setting yourself up for failure. You’ll never get used to not having them in your life if you keep hurting yourself by associating with them.
Stay strong and consistent, and soon enough, you’ll be able to move forward without sparing a second thought for this person.
Cómo distanciarse de alguien tóxico
Decidir alejarse de una relación tóxica es un acto de amor propio, pero it might be hard if you still have some feelings for the other person or if you can’t really avoid them.
Sometimes you need to get over a friendship the same way you’d get over a romantic breakup. Deciding how to distance yourself from someone who’s making your life miserable comes down to two choices:
1. If you’re done and don’t want anything to do with this person, you can simply cut them off. Choose to tell them what’s going on or ghost them, but remember that you don’t owe them an explanation unless you want to give them one.
Si esta persona es abusiva, sal como puedas, asegurándote de que estás a salvo.
2. Puedes seguir los consejos anteriores and approach it as you would a relationship with someone you don’t want to hurt if you want to be kind. It’s best not to get involved too much, however, because Las personas tóxicas tienden a buscar formas de prolongar el drama.
How do you know someone’s behavior is toxic?
• They hurt you mentally, emotionally, or physically.
• They make you feel unsafe, afraid, or uneasy.
• They make you feel invisible, bad about yourself, or manipulated.
• They get you into trouble or complicate your life.
• They don’t respect your boundaries, not even when you try to enforce them.
• They never acknowledge their mistakes and never apologize.
• They isolate you from your loved ones or damage your other relationships.
• They hold you back from achieving what you want and becoming who you want to be.
• They have a negative effect on your life.
RELACIONADO: Las 81 frases más alentadoras para dejar ir una relación tóxica
¿Por qué distanciarte de alguien en tu vida?
Deciding to distance yourself from someone isn’t done lightly. Even if you haven’t given it much thought consciously, algo en ellos te molesta lo suficiente como para querer poner fin a las cosas.
It’s important for your self-esteem to put your needs first. You don’t have to stay stuck in a toxic friendship any more than you’d have to stay in a toxic romantic relationship.
For example, if a friend hurt you and you forgave them, but you don’t want them in your life anymore, you might feel conflicted. Remember that your feelings are valid and that it’s okay to choose who you keep around.
If you can’t figure out why someone is making you uncomfortable, take a look at the list below. Todo esto podría considerarse motivo suficiente para distanciarse si le incomodan. But also, keep this in mind: you don’t need to look for a reason at all.
1. Causan drama y prosperan con ello.
2. Da la sensación de que siempre quieren algo de ti y nunca dan nada a cambio.
3. They’re negative, and interacting with them drains your energy.
4. They’re too needy and expect you to always be there for them.
5. When you really need someone to lean on, they’re suddenly busy.
6. Similar circumstances are the only reason you’re friends. For example, your kids are friends, or you work together.
7. Discrepáis en cuestiones importantes y tenéis valores diferentes.
8. No tenéis nada en común.
9. You’ve grown apart even though you used to be close.
10. Your friendship has run its course, and there’s nothing left.
11. Your relationship feels like an obligation, and you only socialize out of habit or because that’s how it’s done.
12. You feel like you have to be someone you’re not around them and can’t be yourself.
13. You can’t rely on them for support or help, and it seems like they don’t care about you at all.
14. You’re not putting equal effort into the relationship.
15. You’re the only one maintaining the relationship – you’re always the one to get in touch, call, organize, etc.
How To Distance Yourself From Someone You Can’t Avoid
When you’ve had it with a schoolmate or a co-worker you see every day, keeping your distance might be difficult. How do you stay on track when you keep seeing them around and can’t cut off all contact?
Todos los consejos anteriores son útiles, pero los siguientes puntos lo son especialmente:
• Limit your contact. Hable con ellos sólo cuando sea necesario, y sea educado y conciso.
• Stick to the point. There’s no need to catch up or exchange pleasantries. For example, if you work together and you need a file from them, ignore everything they say to you and only focus on getting the file.
• Set boundaries. Let them know you’re not interested in interacting with them more than necessary, and reinforce these boundaries if they try to break them.
• Don’t explain yourself. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for making your mental health a priority.
En resumen
No hay obligación de mantener el contacto con un amigo tóxico o un familiar exigente. Puedes intentar que la relación se aleje por sí sola, pero a veces puede resultar imposible y debes ponerle fin directamente.
Deciding how to distance yourself from someone depends on why you’re doing it and what you want the end result to be. If it’s someone toxic, cutting them out is sometimes your best course of action. If it’s someone you still want to stay on good terms with, a conversation might be necessary.
In some cases, the most difficult part is stopping yourself from contacting that person because you’re so used to doing it. Reminding yourself why you’re doing it is the most effective way to stick to your decision: you’ve done the right thing and chosen your well-being over staying in a relationship that doesn’t work for you.
