Una carta al hombre que me hizo sentir que yo era la antipática

En este mundo, todo lo que siempre quise fue amar y ser amada. Soy una chica testaruda y siempre supe que podía hacer algo cuando me lo proponía.

Todo lo que conseguí en la vida me lo gané con mi esfuerzo y mi dedicación. Nunca me sirvieron nada en bandeja de plata.

Creo que ésta es una de las principales razones por las que Luché tanto por ti. Because life showed me that I can’t get anything I want that easily and that I have to walk a mile longer than anyone else does for it, so I figured I’d have to do the same in love too.

You were everything I ever looked for or could possibly ask for and once you were in my life, I knew I couldn’t let you go.

I told myself it wasn’t gonna be easy, but I believed that it would be worth it in the end. But what I thought would be worth it actually cost me way too much.

Siempre fui un luchador. Nunca me conformé hasta conseguir lo que creía merecer.

And I knew that here and there I’d have to receive a few punches along my life’s road, but what you gave me wasn’t just a punch, it was a knockout I barely recovered from.

Me trataste miserablemente y yo lo permití. Destrozaste por completo mi confianza, la aplastaste con la faz de la tierra.

Now that I look back, I can’t believe I’d ever let that happen to me. I was one of those who knew her worth. But somewhere down the road, I obviously forgot that.

Lo que más me llama la atención es que nada de lo que hice fue lo suficientemente bueno para ti.

You kept comparing me to others and you kept asking me why I couldn’t be like them. My efforts were useless, my battles were meaningless to you.

But you’re one hell of an actor, you know? You convinced me that there wasn’t anything about me to be love, that I only had bad sides and how I was this person who was extremely hard to love.

Me hiciste sentir que no era adorable y que debería haber sido bendecida por tener a alguien como tú que me amara.

Tardé en darme cuenta de que it wasn’t me who was unlovable...eras tú. Y como eras como eras, necesitabas menospreciarme constantemente para que me quedara a tu lado.

You needed me to see you as this God-given creature and how I was blessed to have you next to me. But you weren’t a blessing, you were a curse.

Porque te sentías mal contigo mismo, me hiciste sentir mal a mí también. Porque dejaste que alguien te convenciera de lo difícil que era quererte, también me hiciste sentir que yo no era querible.

Permitiste que alguien destrozara tu confianza y autoestima y luego hiciste lo mismo conmigo.

You projected your insecurities onto me because they had convinced you of everything you’d been trying to convince me.

You shouldn’t have done that. You shouldn’t have made it a chain reaction. Regardless of how bad you felt, instead of stopping the chain, you continued it.

Sabías cuánto dolía y, sin embargo, también eras capaz de hacérselo a otra persona. Eras capaz de hacerme esas mismas cosas a mí, a la persona que habría hecho cualquier cosa por ti.

Well, unfortunately for you, I came to my senses. I realized it wasn’t me and that it had nothing to do with me.

Tardé un poco, pero ya sabes lo que dicen, más vale tarde que nunca.

I realized I didn’t have to be your punching bag. And that I shouldn’t let you treat me bad just because you felt bad about yourself. I wasn’t gonna let you break me just because I loved you.

I wasn’t gonna let you turn me into a doormat that anyone could walk over, just so you’d be able to keep your head on the surface.

No woman should ever feel the way you made me feel. No woman should ever feel like she’s the unlovable one, like she’s hard to love or that she only has this one shot in life for love and no matter how bad her love treats her, that she’s supposed to put up with it.

Because if you treat me poorly, it’s not love, it’s poison and I don’t have to settle for it.

I’m a fighter, but I learned that sometimes you need to stop fighting and walk away if what you’re fighting for isn’t worth it.

I bent over backwards to make things work and in the end, it didn’t work out.

Al final, en lugar de sentir que me había alejado de una relación, sentí como si acabara de arrastrarme bajo un edificio demolido por un terremoto. Pero al menos conseguí ser el que se escapó.

Decidí ser yo quien detuviera la cadena. Decidí que no iba a hacer lo mismo que tú me hiciste a mí ni nada de lo que te hicieron a ti.

I decided to be strong enough when you couldn’t, I decided to be the man when you couldn’t and I decided not to hurt others just because I was hurt.

I know I’m good enough. Quizá me veías como la antipática, pero sé que no debo creer que soy como tú me veías.

The way you painted me is the exact portrait of how you see yourself. I don’t want to do those things to myself.

I don’t want to fight anymore for you. I don’t want to fight for someone who made me feel the way you did, like I’m the unlovable one.

You’re not someone I should give my heart to. You’re someone who would have destroyed me if I’d continued fighting for you, so I stopped.

Telling myself I deserved more wasn’t selfish. It was the best thing I could do. It was what I needed in order to keep myself on the surface.

My conscience is clear. What you did to me doesn’t have to define me. But it will definitely serve as a hard-learned lesson in life that sometimes I need to fight for myself as hard as I do for others.