Cómo centrarte en ti mismo sin sentirte culpable (20 sencillos pasos)

Due to recent events in my life, I’ve realized the importance of learning how to focus on yourself.

Don’t get me wrong. Prioritizing salud mental y el amor propio siempre ha sido uno de mis grandes objetivos. El control de la vida es limitado, así que centrarse en el bienestar y la paz interior es lo mínimo que se puede hacer.

Navegar por estos tiempos difíciles mientras trabajas en la superación personal, preservas tu autoestima, eres un rayo de positividad y duermes lo suficiente es MUCHO.

Don’t beat yourself up if self-care hasn’t been at the forefront of your specific goals lately. But do ensure that you start taking self-reflection seriously and take time to figure out how to lead a better life.

Take it from me. For so long, I let life just happen. I wasn’t as proactive as I should’ve been, which resulted in suffering in silence and watching my life become insufferable. Nunca ves venir estas cosas.

I let shitty people get away with their BS, I never asked for help as I don’t like to burden people with my issues, and I never stood up for myself. Doing this created a real mess in my head (and life).

I’m not at fault for the bad stuff that happened (nor are you), but I’m definitely at fault for not doing anything about it.

Now, I’ve done a whole 180. I’ve changed my entire outlook and decided that it’s time to get out of my comfort zone.

It’s super easy to let negative thoughts overwhelm you and spend time feeling sorry for yourself. When life knocks you down, it doesn’t take prisoners. What else can you do other than wallow in misery, right?

Resulta que mucho.

¿Quieres saber cómo empecé a darle la vuelta a mi vida, sin prisa pero sin pausa? Espero que tu respuesta sea sí, porque estos sencillos consejos sobre cómo centrarte en ti mismo realmente me pusieron las cosas en perspectiva.

Si quieres cambiar tu vida, empieza poco a poco y ve subiendo. Pero primero, respóndeme a esto:

• Have you recently been through a traumatic breakup, and you’re unsure how to regain your identity?

• Perhaps you’ve been in a long-term relationship for ages, and you’re starting to lose your sense of self?

• Or are you a people-pleaser who always puts others’ needs first, and you’re adamant to change your life?

Congrats on finally prioritizing your wellness. Not many people feel comfortable taking that (much-needed) step, but once they do, there’s no going back, which is something you’re about to see for yourself.

Learning how to focus on myself has been life-changing, and the thing is, it’s so simple. I promise your life will start changing from the ground up.

Céntrate en tu propia vida en lugar de preguntarte qué piensan los demás de ti. Sal de las redes sociales y disfruta de la vida REAL. ¿Qué más?

You’re going to have to keep reading to find that out.

Véase también: 13 maneras de quererse a uno mismo tras liberarse de una relación tóxica

Guía para centrarse en uno mismo y no en los demás

It’s normal to get wrapped up in work, errands, and life. Taking care of yourself may even seem self-indulgent at times. But the only way to achieve success is by starting from within, and this is how you do it:

Imagina tu futuro yo ideal y vive la vida desde ese punto de vista.

Ésta es quizá una de las formas más fáciles de motivarse para perseguir lo que le hace feliz.

Imagínate una versión mayor de ti mismo y averigua qué le hace feliz. ¿Dónde te ves dentro de diez años? ¿A qué te dedicas? ¿De quién te rodeas?

Estas respuestas te ayudarán a ver claramente lo que tienes que hacer AHORA si quieres que tu futuro sea de una determinada manera.

Practica el amor propio y sé bueno contigo mismo.

¿Qué necesitas TÚ? No tu familia, amigos o colegas. ¿Cuáles son tus necesidades en este preciso momento?

¿Es usted feliz? Si no es así, ¿qué haces para cambiarlo? Las cosas nunca mejorarán si sigues ahí sentado, ignorando tus deseos y necesidades.

Love and nurture yourself. Don’t let anyone shatter your self-esteem. If there’s anyone out there who doesn’t support your personal development journey, lose their number.

You don’t need anyone who’s actively counter-productive to your happiness. You know better than that.

Encuentre su punto de partida y continúe a partir de ahí.

Career, personal life, bettering your relationships with family… Which area of your life needs the most work?

This will be the best jumping-off point that’ll clear your vision and set you in the right direction. You can’t change your life from the ground up overnight.

Requiere tiempo, paciencia y perseverancia. Por eso le sugiero encarecidamente que se centre en un área concreta de su vida que considere que puede mejorar.

Once you’ve successfully managed that, you’ll feel more motivated to keep going – plus, it won’t feel like a chore.

Don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone and try new things.

Nothing ever grows in the comfort zone. While it might feel reassuring and familiar, it’ll never allow you to push yourself.

Try new things. Do stuff that scares you. This is all about focusing on yourself, right? So, ask yourself what you truly want to do and where you want to be. Don’t be scared if the answers are daunting.

Asumir riesgos es la forma más segura de reinventarse y ver lo feroz, capaz e ingenioso que eres. After all, you only have one life. Don’t you want to use it wisely?

Véase también: Sé lo bastante fuerte para dejar ir lo que te hace infeliz

Compruébelo usted mismo a menudo.

Quieres saber cómo centrarte en ti mismo y no en los demás, ¿verdad? Pues bien, la clave está en controlarse con regularidad.

Detente y tómate un segundo para respirar. Cuando todo sea demasiado, haz una pausa y tómate un respiro.

You’re not a robot, nor should you be at anyone’s beck and call 24/7.

You can be your own best friend or your own worst enemy. It’s up to you which one you choose.

Pase tiempo con sus seres más queridos.

No me canso de repetir lo importante que es pasar tiempo con la familia. Son los únicos que pueden ayudarte a centrarte y fomentar tu crecimiento como te mereces.

Recently, I’ve been going through some difficult stuff, so I decided to visit my family. Sort of like an extended stay to find my inner peace again.

You wouldn’t believe how therapeutic this has been for me and my mental health. Estar rodeado de sus seres queridos, así como renunciar a redes sociales durante un rato, hace maravillas con tu mente.

Never underestimate the healing power of a loved one. Their mere presence makes all the difference, which is as astonishing as it’s needed.

¿Has probado a llevar un diario?

A la hora de trabajar para alcanzar tus objetivos específicos, llevar un diario te mantendrá en el buen camino y te motivará.

¿Cómo? Muy sencillo. Writing your goals down will give you a sense of accountability, and you’ll be less inclined to go off course, as it’ll become somewhat of a habit.

Escribir un diario es la forma más segura de evaluar tus progresos y mantenerte a flote cuando te encuentres en un atolladero.

I know, I know, it may appear so third-grade, right? But let me assure you, it’s anything but. It’s the best way to reflect on your journey, stay true to your dreams, and see where you stand.

If more people resorted to this simple strategy, the world would be a much less messed-up place, don’t you think?

Véase también: ¿Cuándo es necesario cortar con alguien? ( + 7 consejos para hacerlo)

Aprender a centrarse en uno mismo tras una ruptura

Breakups are the worst. The time spent together, butterflies in your stomach, sweet messages, and having your person – gone. Just like that. How do you ever get better? These might help.

Grieving takes time; don’t rush the process.

You can’t expect to feel better overnight. Just like with any other loss, losing the one you love takes a lot of getting used to.

De repente te ves obligado a encontrar una nueva rutina y a hacer las paces con el hecho de que acabas de perder a tu go-to.

¿Quién te escuchará llorar ahora a las 2 de la madrugada? ¿Quién te dará la mano cuando recibas malas noticias del trabajo?

Yeah. Breakups suck. So, don’t rush the proceso de curación. Take as much time as you need, and don’t beat yourself up. You’ll find your joy again. You always do.

Feel your feelings but don’t let them consume you.

Finding the right balance is a challenge; I’ll give you that.

You can’t deny yourself to feel whatever it is that you’re feeling, but at the same time, how do you not let it consume you?

I can’t say what exactly will work for you, but I can say what worked for me. Usually, I let myself cry for a bit while listening to Coldplay (no judging).

Pero en cuanto empiezo a quedarme sin aliento y me asaltan pensamientos negativos, decido sacudírmelos de encima.

Llamo a mi hermana o a mi madre, o saco a pasear al perro. El aire fresco me ayuda a ver las cosas con perspectiva y vuelvo a sentirme yo misma. La clave está en actuar a tiempo.

There’s no point in crying over spilled milk (this is not your fault).

It happened. It’s over. And guess what? It wasn’t entirely your fault. It takes two to tango. No matter what your toxic partner implies, you’re not the sole reason for the break-up.

It’s one thing to be in touch with your emotions, but it’s a whole other thing to keep blaming yourself with no purpose. It’s not like you woke up one day and decided to fall out of love (or vice versa).

There’s a whole culmination of events that precedes such a decision. Things build-up over time, and one day, it happens.

No one person is to blame (with exceptions, of course). Don’t cry over spilled milk. Life goes on, and there’s so much life left for you to experience. This breakup doesn’t define the rest of your life.

Corta todo contacto con la fuente de tu dolor.

Yup, I’m telling you to siga la regla de no contacto. That’s the fastest way to heal. While I do believe that staying amigos de tu ex es posible, se necesita tiempo para llegar a ese lugar.

You’re nowhere near ready for that. Distance yourself from the one who caused you pain and delete their number.

Estar cerca de tu ex ahora mismo sólo prolongará tu sufrimiento y hará imposible que te centres en ti mismo. It isn’t healthy, it’ll prevent you from moving on, and you’ll most likely end up in bed together.

I don’t even have to explain how excruciating having to begin the healing process all over again would be, do I?

Véase también: La regla del no contacto: El poder del silencio tras una ruptura

Elige ver esto como una bendición disfrazada.

Right now, it seems like the end of the world, but soon, you’ll see this for what it is – a blessing in disguise.

Claramente, estabas en un relación disfuncional; otherwise, you would still be together. There’s a reason you broke up, right?

That reason will become more and more clear as time goes on. When you start finding yourself again, you’ll see how much better things are and how much happier you feel.

If you’re still not in that place, I promise, that day will come, and so much weight will be lifted off your shoulders.

Encuentra nuevas aficiones y céntrate en tus objetivos.

First and foremost, make more time for the people you love most. Secondly, pursue new hobbies that’ll help you feel better about yourself, and lastly, start making plans for your future.

Viajar a un lugar nuevo. Embárcate en una aventura con tus mejores amigos. Apply for that job you’ve been eyeing for ages. Listen to podcasts that’ll help you on your new journey.

Sí, estuviste con tu ex unos años. Pero, ¿qué son esos tres años comparados con la vida que tienes por delante?

Así es como debes centrarte en ti mismo en una relación

Being in a healthy relationship is awesome. But sometimes, your individuality gets lost in the ‘coupledom.’ You focus less on your needs and more on the necesidades de relación.

This begs the question: How do you avoid losing yourself when part of a couple? Here’s how:

Pase regularmente tiempo de calidad consigo mismo.

Carve out some ‘me time’ as much as you can. It’s not selfish, self-indulgent, or embarrassing – quite the contrary.

It’s essential to spend time alone with yourself and your thoughts, as it’s the only way to see how you feel and whether you’re happy.

Being alone doesn’t mean being lonely. You can have a fantastic group of people who love you and still relish ‘me time.’

Conecta con tus amigos de antes de la relación.

Remember those friends you were so close with before you got together with your partner? Hit them up, especially if it’s been a while. Genuine friends are so precious.

While it’s somewhat expected to be focused on your relationship while it’s in the beginning stages, after a while, things should go back to how they were.

Call up your pre-relationship friends, reconnect, and don’t neglect them anymore. These are the people you’ll always come back to when life knocks you down.

Véase también: 20 hermosas señales de que has encontrado una verdadera amistad alma gemela

Have a hobby that’s just your own.

Have something that’s just your own. Whether it’s dancing, karate, joining a choir, or cooking, as long as it’s something you’ll do for yourself, it works.

While being in a relationship is amazing and fulfilling, it’s also important to stay true to who you are. Follow your passions and do stuff that makes your heart happy.

Not only will this help you be your happiest self, but it’ll also make you a much better partner to your significant other.

Encuentra tiempo para hacer ejercicio.

Not only is exercise healthy in the sense that it can reduce the risk of developing many diseases, but it’s also a fantastic way to let off steam when you need it most.

Have I mentioned that it’s also guaranteed to improve the quality of your life?

I understand that life can get insanely crazy, and it’s hard to carve out enough time to go to the gym. That’s what Youtube is for!

Encuentra vídeos de entrenamiento que se adapten a TI y haz lo que quieras desde la comodidad de tu salón.

Don’t let your goals get lost by living your ‘couple goals.’

While there’s a whole list of ‘objetivos de pareja‘ that I’m sure you and your bae check off the list, it’s also important to not let your own goals disappear from sight.

Just because you’re in a happy, fulfilled relationship, doesn’t mean your ambition and drive stopped being important.

Keep pursuing your dreams. Don’t settle for just being content. Reach for the stars and do what you need to achieve complete personal fulfillment. It’s not that crazy, you know?

You deserve it, and it’ll only make your relationship that much stronger. Your needs are just as important as your partner’s. Remember that, and you’re golden.

Véase también: Las 12 malditas buenas razones por las que una vida privada es una vida feliz

Comunique a su pareja sus necesidades y deseos.

¿Te preguntas cómo centrarte en ti mismo en una relación sin perder de vista a tu pareja y sus necesidades? COMUNICAR.

If you’re not happy about something, speak your mind. If you’re hurt by their actions, express your dissatisfaction. If you don’t, it’ll keep eating away at you bit by bit.

La comunicación es una herramienta necesaria que hace o deshace una relación. Ser capaz de comunicarse eficazmente es una de las habilidades vitales más importantes.

Tiene el poder de crear una cuña insalvable entre vosotros o de acercaros más que nunca.

Y a veces es necesario soltarse la melena.

If your life has been a mess, or if you’ve been too preoccupied with your partner’s needs, it’s time to let loose.

Llame a su equipo y pinte la ciudad de rojo. Salga de fiesta, pase una noche fantástica en casa o emprenda una aventura improvisada. Lo que te apetezca.

Aprender a centrarte en ti mismo en una relación consiste en hacer cosas que hacías cuando estabas soltero. Lo que te hacía feliz entonces probablemente te haga feliz ahora.

You’ve just neglected your needs for a bit. That’s okay, though. It’s never too late to do more stuff that makes you happy. There’s no time like the present!

Véase también: Reto de 30 días de amor propio: conviértete en la mejor versión de ti mismo

La felicidad es una elección.

By now, you must’ve realized how vital it is to learn how to focus on yourself. Just do whatever makes your heart sing!

If you don’t like the people you hang out with, change your social circle. If you’ve started to lose yourself in your relationship, do all the fun things you enjoyed while you were todavía soltero.

Oh, and if you’re still reeling from your bad breakup (all the while blaming yourself for how it unfolded), STOP. As heartbreaking as it is, breakups happen, and life goes on.

It’s going to suck for a while, but it doesn’t mean that you should let it consume you.

Sé que lo más fácil es regodearse en la miseria. Pero levantarse, elegir hacer algo al respecto y permitirse volver a sentirse feliz requiere agallas.

Decide today that you’re going to grab life by the horns and do whatever the heck you want. Who can tell you otherwise?

You create your path to happiness – if you can believe it, you can most definitely achieve it. And if I didn’t convince you, perhaps Abe Lincoln will:

“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

Véase también: Cuando empieces a creer en ti mismo, ocurrirán estas 7 cosas