Cómo superar el miedo a perder a un ser querido en 7 pasos

En miedo a perder alguien a quien quieres es perfectamente normal.

Even though people don’t talk about it frequently, the miedo a la pérdida de un miembro de la familia, a alma gemela o un mejor amigo es un miedo común y todos nos enfrentamos a ella en algún momento. 

However, this doesn’t mean that you should allow these fears to take over your life. It doesn’t mean that you should allow them to control you and prevent you from living your life to the fullest. 

Si esto es algo con lo que se siente identificado, puede que tenga un problema que, por suerte, tiene solución. Aquí tienes una guía paso a paso que te ayudará a sobrellevar tu miedo de perdiendo alguien que amas y hacerte sentirse mejor en poco tiempo. 

Aceptar la pérdida como parte de la vida

Let’s face it; we would all be happiest to have all of our seres queridos near us forever. It would be amazing if we didn’t have to face things such as departures, break-ups, and, finally, death.

Sin embargo, la verdad es que todo esto es una parte de la vida, whether you like to admit it or not. As much as you try, you can’t always avoid losing someone you love.

Basically, the harsh reality is that this is something you’ll have to learn how to deal with, sooner or later. So instead of running away from reality, you better accept it in time.

Verás, reprimir sus emociones and pretending that your fears are nonexistent won’t chase them away. This approach won’t magically erase what you’re feeling.

En cambio, cuando intentas enterrar las cosas, sólo consigues que se hagan más grandes y aún más aterradoras. 

Trust me; you’re not alone on this one. In fact, every person alive has at least once dealt with the miedo a perder a un ser queridoseguido del miedo a desamor.

We’ve all been in a situation where we simply had to accept loss as a parte de la vidaaunque prefiramos no experimentarlo. 

You won’t only lose people you love and care about; you’ll also lose opportunities, things, feelings and so on.

However, all of this is a part of this difficult process called growing up. Sadly, you can’t always have what you want and you can’t always keep around those you would like to have by your side. 

Algunas personas te abandonarán porque quieren, otras se irán gracias a las circunstancias de la vida y la vida se llevará a algunas para siempre. 

En la mayoría de los casos, no hay absolutamente nada que puedas hacer al respecto en lugar de aguantarte y afrontarlo de la mejor manera posible. 

Afronta tus miedos

El siguiente paso para superar un miedo a perder alguien a quien amas reside en enfrentarte a tus miedos.

After all, you can’t chase your demons until you prove them that you’re strong enough to look them directly in the eye and show them your bravery. 

When I say this, I’m not only talking about accepting your fear, since this should already be a given up until this point.

In fact, I’m talking about getting to the bottom of them. You see, every fear has a root and a reason, which in most cases is not seen at a first glance.

Instead, you have to dig deeper under the layers to figure out what you’re really afraid of. 

Tienes que hacer mucha autointrospección y analizar en detalle la relación que mantienes con la otra persona antes de comprender tus miedos. 

This might be a hard pill to swallow but when you’re afraid of losing a person you love, in most situations, you’re being egoísta.

You see, you’re actually scared of having to live without them by your side and you’re terrified of the fact that you’ll have to get along without them next to you.

You’re scared of losing the support or the comfort they’ve been giving you. Miedo de tener que seguir adelante sin que te empujen hacia adelante o te salven cada vez que haces un desastre. 

Sometimes you’re afraid of losing the sense of control the other person is giving you or the ego boost they’ve been providing you. Afraid of losing the sensation you have when you’re with them.

No, this doesn’t have to necessarily mean that you don’t love the person we’re talking about. However, you love whatever they’re giving you even more and that is the core of selfishness. 

So, the first question you’ll have to ask yourself is what you’re actually afraid of losing. What is the thing about this person you feel so addicted to?

Accept that you can’t always be in control

They say that destiny deals you the cards but you’re the one who has to play them the best way possible. If you look at life like this, you’re in no way abolished of all responsibility for whatever happens in it.

After all, you’re a human being. It means that God gave you a reason and free will, which includes judgment-making skills. 

Therefore, it’s never good to go through your own life like it’s happening to someone else. It’s never okay to only go with the flow and see where destiny takes you, as if you have no part in it.

Sin embargo, ir demasiado lejos en la dirección opuesta tampoco es bueno. Ser un maniático del control en realidad te traerá muchos más problemas de los que crees. 

Ya se ha dicho que la pérdida parte de la vida y no hay absolutamente nada que puedas hacer al respecto y esto es especialmente cierto cuando se trata de la muerte de tu seres queridos.

Sí, puedes hacer todo lo posible para proporcionarles una buena atención médica, puedes cuidar de ellos durante el poco tiempo they have left but eventually, if someone is meant to die, you can’t change their future.

Sé que es difícil de aceptar, pero hay muchas cosas en tu existencia terrenal que están fuera de tu alcance, things you can’t control as much you try to. 

This includes different life circumstances and other people’s behavior. Sometimes, you can do everything by the book but despite that, unexpected events will happen and all you can do is accept them.

Sin embargo, ¿sabes qué puedes controlar? La forma en que reaccionas ante estos acontecimientos. 

Puedes malgastar tu valioso tiempo y energía en luchar contra los molinos de viento y pasarte el resto de tu vida como Sísifo o puedes redirigir todas tus fuerzas a hacer frente a las cosas malas de tu vida, incluidas las pérdidas. 

Realize that you don’t actually need anyone

This one might sound harsh or even egocentric but the only truth is that, at the end of the day, you don’t actually need anyone to survive this adventure called life. 

Yes, as a human, you’re a social being, which means that you are happier when you’re surrounded by the people you love and the ones who love you back.

However, that doesn’t mean that you need any of these people to survive. It doesn’t mean it’s okay to be emotionally codependiente en su alma gemela, mejores amigos o familiares. 

As much as it seems that you would die if you happened to lose someone you care for, trust me, you won’t. Verá, en realidad se trata de una cuestión de autoestima. 

You don’t believe in your own capacities and you think you need someone to guide you through life. Well, let me tell you something—you’re the única persona que realmente necesitas. 

Despite what you might think now, the truth is that you can make it without anyone. You’re capable of going through life without anyone having your back or holding your hand.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying that losing a amado won’t leave consequences on you. In fact, in some cases, these consequences might even be permanent.

Sin embargo, cada vez que experimentes estos tiempos difícilesSobrevivirás. Tus heridas se convertirán en cicatrices, pero seguirás adelante a pesar de ellas.

Sabiendo esto, eres perfectamente consciente de que no hay necesidad de sentir tal cosa como un miedo al abandono. 

Remember—whoever has the privilege to be a part of your life is there because you let them. You gave them the gift of your presence and you chose them to be next to you.

Therefore, if they want out, you shouldn’t be the one holding them back. Instead, let them go and remind yourself that your world won’t stop without them. 

Disfruta del momento presente

When you’re dealing with a miedo a perder alguien, es lo único en lo que puedes pensar. El pánico te paraliza y, antes de que te des cuenta, se convierte en el único sentimiento que tienes. 

You’re terrified of having to go on without your amado hasta el punto de que tus miedos te consuman por completo e incluso te impidan funcionar correctamente.

Sé que es mucho más fácil decirlo que hacerlo, pero ¿qué esperas conseguir exactamente con esto? ¿Cambiará el resultado de las cosas si tienes miedo?

¿Salvará a su enfermo terminal amado’s life? Will it keep your romantic partner next to you? Will your miedo al abandono impedir realmente que la gente se aleje de ti?

You and I both know that the answers to all of these questions is the same—it’s a big, fat no. So, what’s the point?

Al contrario, when you’re overwhelmed with your fears, you become so obsessed with the potential future that you miss out on the present.

Estás obsesionado con lo que pueda pasar mañana hasta el punto de que el día de hoy pasa de largo.

Well, if you’re looking for effective ways to get rid of your fears, disfrutando del momento presente es una de las primeras cosas que tienes que aprender a hacer. 

For example, when you have a terminally ill patient next to you, wouldn’t it be better to cherish the poco tiempo ¿tienes la oportunidad de pasarla con ellos en lugar de jugar a diferentes escenarios en tu cabeza? 

What is inevitable will happen and there is no way you can impact that. In fact, you’ll have plenty of time to grieve your loss once or if it happens. 

So, what’s the point of thinking about it in advance? Trust me when I tell you that you’ll be sorry for wasting so much time on your fears before they even became a reality. 

Cree en ti mismo

Al fin y al cabo, tener fe en ti mismo y trabajar en tu autoestima is the number one thing. Trust me when I tell you that you’re way stronger than you ever pictured yourself being.

You see, life gives you exactly what you can take and handle. You get the challenges you have the ability to overcome, even if sometimes you’re not aware of your capacities. 

So, I’m begging you, have a little more optimism. Please, cree en ti mismo y en tu poder interior.

Don’t consider yourself too weak, despite being emotional. Don’t consider yourself a coward, despite having such a big heart. 

Solicite asesoramiento profesional

Miedo a perder a un ser querido is perfectly normal to some extent. We all face these fears on a daily basis and sadly, they’re a part of everyone’s thoughts. 

A miedo común es tanatofobia—a miedo a la muerte. Básicamente, no hay casi ninguna persona en este mundo que pueda aceptar su mortalidad. Sin embargo, tanatofobia doesn’t only mean you’re afraid of dying.

De hecho, también incluye un miedo a la muerte de su seres queridos, que a menudo equivale a un miedo a la pérdida de aquellos a los que cuidas.  

However, if these fears are impacting your life to the point where it has become impossible to live it properly, maybe it’s time to ask for help. 

Para empezar, hable con su mejores amigospareja o una persona cercana miembro de la familia. Describe whatever you’re feeling and ask them whether they’re going through the same.

Try comparing the intensity of your emotions to theirs and see whether you’re experiencing something similar.

También, it is possible that you’re dealing with some deeper mental salud cuestiones que provocan estos temores. 

En ese caso, actuar, centrarse en algunos autocuidado y hablar con un profesional de la salud mental que te ayudarán sentirse mejor. 

No, tener problemas mentales problemas de salud doesn’t make you crazy; it just means that you’re a human being made out of flesh and blood and that you need a hand coping with something. 

Confía en esto profesional de la salud mental and talk to them about everything that’s bothering you, otherwise they won’t be able to assist you in the right way. 

Lo mismo ocurre con las personas más cercanas a ti en las que quieras confiar. Asegúrese de que se trata realmente de su mejor amigo you’re talking to.

It should be someone who won’t violate your trust, despite not being able to give you asesoramiento profesional.