14 cosas frustrantes que dicen los infieles cuando se les confronta
Ser engañado es una experiencia desgarradora. Las cosas que dicen los infieles cuando se les confronta pueden hacerlo aún más doloroso.
There’s nothing worse than feeling betrayed and having your trust broken.
Especially by the ones you love the most. Once that trust is broken it’s hard – and sometimes almost impossible – to fix it.
Unfortunately, many women or men blame themself. They think they’re not good enough or they did something wrong.
Su confianza está destrozada. Todo por culpa de sus parejas infieles y su dudosa moral. Nadie debería pasar por esto.
Cuando te enfrentas a un infiel, normalmente se niega a asumir la culpa. Incluso se vuelven agresivos en su tono de voz.
A veces intentan echarte la culpa de alguna manera.
Si has sido víctima de un infiel o sospechas que tu pareja te engaña, estas son algunas de las respuestas habituales de los infieles cuando se les llama la atención sobre su vergonzoso comportamiento.
Las respuestas se clasifican en diferentes categorías en función de la reacción inicial.
Things they say to make you feel like you’re the one in the wrong:
1. “Nothing is going on, you’re being paranoid”
Esta puede ser la respuesta más frustrante de un infiel.
They try to make you feel crazy and think you’re doing something wrong by confronting them with clear evidence.
They will deny everything. What’s worse, he or she will try to make you feel bad by saying you’re making things up just because you’re not confident in yourself.
So, as well as lying to you, they’re also insulting you.
Conocen todos tus puntos débiles y quieren hacerte sentir vulnerable para poder desviar la atención hacia ti.
Confronting a cheater can lead to what’s called gaslighting.
Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation where someone – in this case a cheater – makes you doubt your own judgment, memory, and perception, often targeting a victim’s low self-esteem.
Utilizando la negación, la desinformación, la contradicción y otros métodos de manipulación de la verdad, hacen creer a la víctima que lo que sabe que es verdad es falso.
Gaslighting is a serious issue that has been recognized by clinical psychologists. It’s commonly used by people who are narcissists.
2. “You don’t trust me!”
Es una forma de gaslighting. La persona que fue tu pareja utilizará irónicamente la confianza para hacerte sentir mal por una situación, al tiempo que rompe claramente tu confianza.
By making you an accuser, they trick you into thinking you’re the one who’s making things up. Don’t fall for it. It’s a major red flag.
Their goal is to make you feel like you’re being cruel to them and that you are wrong for bringing the topic up.
Someone who doesn’t have anything to hide will talk about things without a problem.
It’s not that uncommon for people to feel like they are being cheated on, especially if they’ve dealt with similar things before.
If your partner is willing to talk about it, it means they are confident about the truth. Trust is something that’s built throughout the relationship.
If it’s lacking in some other areas of life, it’s no surprise a person will feel like something is going on when confronted with evidence or reasonable doubt.
Si no tienen nada que ocultar, permanecerán tranquilos y te asegurarán que todo va bien y no montarán una escena.
3. “Where were usted last night?”
El intento de echarte la culpa con contraataques es otra forma manipuladora de control.
Un marido, una mujer o cualquier tipo de socio fingirá sentirse dudoso e inseguro respecto a su comportamiento.
They want to trick you into defending yourself. While you’re defending yourself they can manipulate you more easily and change the focus from them onto you.
Les da tiempo a inventarse algo y evitar la situación.
Confronting a cheater can involve many messy feelings and a lot of intensity, so don’t let them make you feel crazy and fall for their lies.
Things they say to diminish the importance of what they’ve done:
4. “It’s not like we had sex or anything.”
Si pillas a tu pareja siendo infiel viendo sus mensajes de texto o sus actualizaciones en las redes sociales, es casi seguro que lo negará.
Te acusarán de revisando sus cosas ¡incluso si tienen instalada una aplicación de citas!
When they’re out of excuses they will try to defend themselves by denying a physical relationship. Even if they didn’t have a physical relationship that doesn’t mean they didn’t cheat.
Emotional cheating can be even worse than just having sex. It means they don’t value you and don’t think you’re enough.
Be aware of the warning signs. If they suddenly pick up their cell phone way more often and have private conversations, there’s a possibility they’re not telling you something.
Your relationship after that won’t be as it was before. Some scenarios are worse than others – for example when they cheat with their co-worker and keep going back to the same job.
It’s almost impossible to repair and regain trust.
5. “It was just a one-time thing.”
Apparently monogamy isn’t for everyone. The problem is when they act like it is.
Decir que el engaño fue cosa de una sola vez es como decir que traicionar tu confianza y hacerte sentir inútil es cosa de una sola vez. El daño está hecho y recuperación de la aventura es inevitable.
You can’t expect to cheat and move on as if nothing happened. If there has been a first time, there will be a second time too.
6. “It didn’t mean anything.”
Of course it means something. It means they’re not capable of having a normal relationship and respecting their partner.
By decreasing the importance of a one-night stand in a committed relationship they’re decreasing the importance of the relationship itself.
Diciendo it didn’t mean anything they can’t minimize the pain. A person cheats knowing how it’s going to affect their partner, they just don’t count on being busted.
7. “It’s not what it looks like.”
The attempt to rationalize and explain their behavior is one of the ways they try to mask their cheating as something that’s not un gran negocio.
It’s cheating. There’s no justifying that.
8. “It was just sex.”
What does that even mean? If sex isn’t that important, why did they have it with someone else in the first place?
Afirmar que el sexo es sólo sexo significa que la conexión emocional es más importante.
That doesn’t make sense because cheating is, in fact, an emotional betrayal.
It’s one of the worst things you can do to a person you’re supposedly emotionally connected to.
This response is a way of minimizing the partner’s pain by diminishing the importance of sex.
Clearly, sex is important because otherwise, they wouldn’t have cheated.
It’s known that most people cheat after making an emotional connection with the third person.
It wasn’t just sex. It was betrayal and disrespect.
Cosas que dicen para echarte la culpa a ti o a algo o alguien más:
9. “I’m not happy anymore.”
Sometimes when confronting a cheater, they actually admit how they feel about the relationship and that probably means they’re unhappy in it.
Eso incluye admitir sus verdaderos sentimientos hacia ti.
Oír algo así es muy doloroso. Sin embargo, tal vez sería menos doloroso si hubieran sido honestos al respecto antes de engañar.
If they wanted to break up, they should’ve!
Leading the person on is a sign of cowardice. They can’t be honest with themselves so they’re not honest with you either.
The basis for any relationship should be trust and honesty. With many people it seems, that’s not the case.
En una relación duradera, puede ser especialmente difícil admitir que las cosas no funcionan.
You don’t need a relationship expert to tell you that things are off when they’re so obviously off.
That still doesn’t excuse the act of cheating, not at all. Everyone deserves to be respected at all times.
Diciendo you’re not happy isn’t going to solve anything.
10. “I did it because we didn’t have enough sex.”
Una de las cosas que suelen mencionar los infieles (en su mayoría hombres) es la falta de sexo.
Pero en lugar de intentar comunicar el problema en una relación, deciden que la mejor forma de afrontarlo es encontrar satisfacción en otra parte.
That’s not a valid excuse for cheating. Yes, people have needs, there’s no arguing about that. However, there are things to be done before doing the worst thing you can do.
¿Por qué no hablas con tu pareja? ¿Y si abordas el problema e intentas hacer algo al respecto? ¿Admitir el problema?
Ir directamente a por lo más hiriente que se puede hacer no es, desde luego, la forma de afrontarlo.
11. “She/he came to me!”
Las cosas que dicen los infieles cuando se les confronta son a veces sencillamente estúpidas. ¿A quién le importa quién hizo el primer movimiento? ¿Cómo justifica eso las cosas?
They might admit cheating but still insist on saying they’re innocent because another person was the one who started it.
¡Qué excusa más pobre! Intentar culpar a otro de tu propia culpa es francamente perverso.
Everybody knows that it takes two people to cheat. One of them doesn’t even have to know about it.
Cosas que dicen cuando te quieren de vuelta después de engañarte:
12. “That was a long time ago, things are different now.”
The fact it happened a long time ago and you’ve just found out about it now, doesn’t change this. In fact, it might make it even worse.
Pensar en todos los recuerdos que sucedieron durante el periodo en el que fue infiel puede hacer que una persona se ponga enferma.
La sensación de no tener ni idea es casi insoportable. Sobre todo porque significa que tu pareja te ha dejado vivir la mentira.
13. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”
If they didn’t want to hurt you, they shouldn’t have done it. As simple as that.
Every cheater knows they’re doing something wrong. That’s why saying this doesn’t make sense. It’s just a weak attempt to ask for forgiveness.
Cometer adulterio es una elección. Una elección que conlleva consecuencias. Afecta a los sentimientos de otra persona y a la vida en común.
By choosing to do it, despite knowing the consequences, it means they’re choosing to intentionally hurt another person. There’s no third option.
14. “It won’t happen again.”
Even if you choose not to leave your partner, it’s hard to believe cheating won’t happen again. It’s hard to regain trust once after it’s been broken.
El engaño no es algo que se pueda esconder bajo la alfombra. Hace que la persona se replantee todo lo que sabe sobre su pareja y sobre sí misma.
Their self-esteem drops and it’s hard to make things go back to the way they were.
When you’ve seen your future with the person who’s cheating on you, it’s hard to confront them about cheating.
A veces la reacción inicial es olvidarlo todo y volver a normal. For some people it’s to unleash their anger and get some kind of revenge on their partner.
Las cosas también dependen de la pareja que ha engañado. A veces quieren volver a su antigua relación.
Sometimes they want to move on and stay with the person they’re cheating with.
In case your partner is asking for forgiveness, it’s up to you.
A lot of people would agree that once a partner has been unfaithful it’s impossible to move on and pretend that nothing happened.
Afecta enormemente a la relación. El resentimiento puede hacer imposible que funcione.
No todas las situaciones son iguales. Las cosas que dicen los infieles cuando se les confronta son diferentes en los distintos casos.
Algunos infieles están realmente arrepentidos de lo que han hecho. Lo más probable es que admitan la infidelidad de inmediato y pidan perdón.
There’s a difference between admitting adultery and being caught out. However, what they’ve done is completely self-inflicted.
People make mistakes for various reasons. That doesn’t mean we can justify them. As adults, they’re always responsible for their actions.
If a partner acts selfishly when confronted, it’s obvious they’re not feeling any kind of remorse.
That’s when they start committing other types of emotional abuse in addition to cheating.
Despite everything that’s been said, some relationships survive after cheating.
After all, it’s your decision whether you decide to forgive them and no one else is entitled to give their opinion. Do as you wish but keep in mind all that has been said and done.
If you’re interested in saving your relationship or marriage here are some things you can do:
En primer lugar, debes decidir si eres capaz de darles otra oportunidad. Darles una oportunidad significa restablecer la confianza.
When a person cheats it shows they’re maybe not capable of having a healthy relationship at all.
You need to decide if you think it’s possible for them to really change.
Everybody can make a mistake, but it’s the nature of the mistake and their behavior that shows how fatal that mistake is.
If you have the strength to forgive your partner and make amends, maybe it’s worth trying.
Otra cosa que puedes hacer es intentar comprender realmente las razones por las que tu pareja te engañó.
At first, it may seem like they cheated because you weren’t enough for them, but the truth can be very different.
It is possible they cheated to prove to themself that they’re worthy.
No matter how contradictory it may sound, cheating doesn’t have to be about sex only. Sometimes it’s a reaction to dealing with their own lack of worth.
Una de las cosas que puedes hacer es pedirle a tu pareja que te prometa que no volverá a engañarte.
Pídeles que dejen de contactar con la tercera persona y comprométete a mejorar vuestra relación.
If the third person is someone who they see daily due to their job – ask them to change their job.
Aparte de eso, exija que asistan a sesiones de asesoramiento sobre relaciones con usted.
Be clear about how you feel and set boundaries. Communicate your conditions and if they agree with them, that’s when you can move onto the next step.
Keep talking about the issue even if it’s painful but respect your limits. It’s important to let go of resentment as much as possible.
Habla de cuáles serán las consecuencias si vuelve a ocurrir algo similar.
Expresa con valentía tu postura. Si ocurre algo parecido, diles que les dejarás, romperás con ellos o pedirás el divorcio.
Lastly and most importantly, know when to end things once and for all. If your partner doesn’t change despite promises, leave him or her.
There’s nothing you can do but move on. There’s no point in making your life miserable over somebody else’s problem.
No matter how much you love them, they don’t love you enough. For the relationship to work out two people are needed.
Breakups are painful experiences, but sometimes they’re a chance for something new.
There’s only so much we can do if someone doesn’t want to change.
En lugar de esperar a tu pareja, muéstrate respetuoso contigo mismo, date el cambio que tanto necesitas y aléjate.
