13 cosas raras que hacen los narcisistas para manipular a sus víctimas
It doesn’t matter if you’ve had a relación tóxica with a narcissistic ex or you’re still involved with someone suffering from NPD – either way, you know very well that there are some behavior patterns every narcissist follows.
Sí, todos ellos son personas individuales, pero extrañamente, hay algunas cosas raras que hacen los narcisistas que son comunes a todos ellos.
I’m not talking here about their individual personality traits that have nothing to do with their disorder. I’m referring to some strange things that characterize them.
Each one of these habits or actions can serve as a bulletproof sign that you’re dealing with a narcissist and can help you save yourself in time.
Esta lista definitiva de cosas raras que hacen los narcisistas profundiza un poco más bajo las capas de su personalidad y va más allá de algunas cosas que podrías esperar experimentar de alguien así.
Let’s get into it.
Intimidad artificial
When you meet a malignant narcissist for the first time, his goal is to get to know you better. He is not doing it because he’s genuinely interested in your life.
It’s all a part of his abuso narcisista tácticas que comienzan de inmediato.
De hecho, esta persona quiere que expongas tus vulnerabilidades. Quiere conocer todos tus puntos débiles para poder utilizarlos en tu contra más adelante.
However, it would be too weird if he asked you deeply personal questions right away – you’d see through his intentions and his plan would fail at the first step.
That’s why he uses reverse psychology techniques on you. Instead of openly snooping around your life, he is the one who starts to confide in you first.
Once he does this, you begin to trust him more. You feel like he’s someone who will keep your secrets and won’t take advantage of you letting him in.
De este modo, alguien con un trastorno narcisista de la personalidad crea una intimidad artificial.
Lo mismo ocurre con bombardeo de amor. Pretende preocuparse por ti más que por nadie antes que él, así que no tienes más remedio que darle todas esas emociones a cambio.
En consecuencia, la mayoría de las relaciones tóxicas narcisistas avanzan a una velocidad enorme.
Before you know it, you’re already seriously involved with this person and basically, you don’t even know when and how it happened.
You feel incredibly close to your narcissist and get the impression that you’ve found your long lost soulmate.
You feel an emotional connection you’ve never felt before and that you could trust this man with your life, even though things are nowhere near that.
Identidad inventada
Another one of the weird things narcissists do is pretend to be someone they’re not. You see, deep down, every narcissistic person is perfectly aware of their true selves.
De hecho, luchan contra la inseguridad y rara vez aceptan su verdadera personalidad. En cambio, hacen todo lo posible por ocultar sus imperfecciones.
That’s why a narcisista se inventa una nueva identidad para impresionar a su víctima.
Sabe que nunca te enamorarías del hombre que es en realidad, así que necesita hacerse pasar por otra persona para meterse en tu piel.
Ten cuidado porque estas personas suelen ser mentirosos compulsivos, entre todos los demás trastornos mentales que padecen.
Por ello, sus víctimas suelen tardar mucho tiempo en llegar al fondo de sus engaños.
No, a person suffering from NPD won’t give you a fake name. They’ll probably decirte la verdad sobre algunos datos básicos sobre sí mismos.
However, they’ll completely disregard certain information they don’t find appealing. They’ll hide their failures and, most importantly, they’ll do everything in their power for you not to see their dark side.
When you first meet someone like this, you think that he is too good to be true. You can’t believe that you’re so lucky to cross paths with such a perfect person.
Nevertheless, a narcissist’s personality is actually a blend of different people.
It’s not rare for them to take over the things they like about their friend’s and family’s past and present them as their own personal history.
The worst part about all this is that once you do find out that you’ve been lied to, it’s usually too late.
You’re already trapped in this narcissistic relationship and you love this person so much that you forgive them for their misdeeds from the beginning.
Relacionado: 52 cosas manipuladoras que dicen los narcisistas en una discusión
Campaña de desprestigio
Gran parte de la oferta narcisista radica en que el narcisista se siente mejor que su víctima – doing everything in his power to make you feel like he is above you in all ways possible.
Básicamente, lo que estas personas buscan es aprobación. Necesitan que les idealices y, para conseguirlo, primero tienen que menospreciarte, ya que es la única forma de que estés por debajo de ellos.
That is exactly why they often do something called a smear campaign, spreading negative propaganda about you just to ruin your reputation – yet another one of the things weird things narcissists do.
Un narcisista hablará mal de usted a sus amigos, familiares y compañeros de trabajo. Hará todo lo posible para que todos ellos te pierdan el respeto.
Durante este tiempo, utilizará mentiras y manipulaciones. Difundirá sabiamente rumores sobre usted, todo ello con el objetivo final de que los demás piensen mal de usted.
De este modo, una persona narcisista destruye tu credibilidad. La gente deja de considerarte fiable y tu palabra pierde todo su peso.
Consequently, even when you try looking for help from others – once you try escaping this mental prison he’s put you in – you keep finding shut doors.
Even when you try telling people that he’s an abuser, nobody actually believes you since their opinion of you is already tainted.
Al fin y al cabo, no tienes a nadie más a quien recurrir que a tu narcisista. Y eso es exactamente lo que quería lograr todo el tiempo.
Además, es su forma de impedir que progreses en la vida. Una manera de controlarte.
After all, how can you hope of getting the promotion you need so you could gain your financial independence if your partner’s made sure your boss and coworkers consider you irresponsible or even a thief?
How do you expect your friends to give you a shelter once you finally decide to leave him and go no contact if your partner’s made sure they consider you a liar or abuser?
¿Cómo puede iniciar el proceso de recuperación del abuso narcisista si no tienes a nadie que te ayude?
Guardar rencor
Let’s face it, all of us are resentful from time to time. Some things seem completely irrelevant, but you can’t force yourself to forget them or to forgive the ones who did you harm.
Dicho esto, los narcisistas son campeones de guardar rencor. They have a memory of an elephant and never forget something that’s hurt them, even if they act like they accept someone’s apology.
In fact, the problem is that a narcissist’s ego rarely allows him to show anyone that he is heartbroken or emotionally damaged. He will often act like someone hurting him isn’t such a big deal.
Sin embargo, sólo se comportará así al principio. En cambio, en cuanto surge el primer desacuerdo, se asegura de mencionar algo del pasado y de reabrir viejas heridas.
Lo mismo ocurre con las relaciones románticas. Una persona narcisista está dispuesta a acosar a su pareja durante años por algo que hicieron hace mucho tiempo.
Te restregará directamente en la nariz algunas cosas que estabas seguro de que eran cosa del pasado cada vez que os peleéis.
This man has no capacity for forgiveness. He doesn’t accept apologies and always remembers every time his feelings got hurt.
Doble rasero
On the other hand, a narcissist will rarely remember the things he’s done to his victims, which is also a red flag that you’re dealing with a sociópata.
Este tipo de personas suelen tener un doble rasero. Tienen una serie de normas para sus víctimas, otra para el resto del mundo y una tercera para ellos mismos.
Un narcisista se considera un privilegiado. Es lo mejor de lo mejor y una criatura dada por Dios.
Por lo tanto, puede comportarse como quiera. Tiene derecho a hacer ciertas cosas que nadie más hace.
Esta persona se ve a sí misma como la realeza, mientras que todos los demás no son más que sus sirvientes. El mundo gira a su alrededor.
These people lack empathy and think they have the full right to do whatever they want, without taking other people’s opinions or feelings into consideration.
No sólo eso, debido a su falta de empatía, un narcisista siempre se las arregla para justificar sus malas acciones.
He finds excuses for his toxic behavior and doesn’t have trouble forgiving himself, since he doesn’t have the ability to observe things from your point of view.
De hecho, espera que el resto del mundo también sea tolerante con sus actos. Según él, haga lo que haga, siempre merece un indulto.
On the other hand, he is extremely judgmental when it comes to others – especially when it comes to his romantic partner.
Todo lo que haces se observa a través del microscopio. Cada uno de tus errores es diseccionado, discutido y analizado hasta la médula.
This man holds you accountable for all the wrong choices you’ve ever made. On the other hand, if he happens to do exactly the same thing, he doesn’t go so hard on himself.
De hecho, espera comprensión y un trato amable, a pesar de que él nunca da lo mismo a cambio.
Ser un camaleón
Another one of the weird things narcissists are capable of is to transform into whoever they want. And no, I’m not talking about this in a good way.
Of course, one’s adaption skills are quite significant – they give you the possibility of hanging out with different people and chase away one’s fears.
What I’m trying to tell you is that most of the people with NDP are actually skilled actors, which can be extremely dangerous for your relationship.
After all, whenever you hear about cases of domestic violence, you think of yourself – that the abuser seemed like a nice guy and you can’t believe the accusations against him.
You wonder how this sociopath in disguise tricked the entire world into considering him a high-value man, even though he can’t be further from one.
Well, narcissists are usually chameleons. They don’t go around acting like abusadores since they’re extremely careful about their reputation and the public image they present.
Instead, at first sight, these people are usually perceived as the kindest and the most polite human beings you’ve ever met.
They’re masters at putting on a mask of a decent man and pretending to be someone they’re not.
However, when they come home, they usually turn into real-life beasts. A narcissist knows that his victim is head over heels for him so he doesn’t have any more need for false pretenses.
Now, he is safe to show you his worst sides. Nobody could ever connect these two personalities with each other – and there is exactly where lies their magical ability.
You know how there are some parts of you you simply can’t hide, even if you tried? Some aspects of your personality that always swim to the surface and you can’t control it?
Well, that is where you’re similar to the rest of the world.
Por otro lado, mientras un narcisista intenta conquistarte, tiene un sentido del autocontrol tan fuerte que puede ocultar lo que quiera sobre sí mismo y reinventar la persona que es.
Anular a la otra persona
Como ya se ha dicho, otro de los síntomas de su trastorno es que los narcisistas se consideran los más importantes del mundo.
Esperan que los demás vean y sepan lo especiales y únicos que son.
According to them, the entire universe revolves around them. They’re always the number one priority and everyone else comes behind them.
Aunque esto pueda parecer sólo un caso de alta autoestima, en realidad es parte de su trastorno mental y un rasgo que causa problemas en todas sus relaciones, incluidas las románticas.
What I’m trying to tell you is that when you’re in an relación abusiva con alguien que sufre de NPD, dejas de existir como tu verdadero yo.
According to his views, you’re no longer an individual with your own personality, best friends, family, interests, dreams, fears, hopes…
En cambio, tu único papel en este mundo es el de su pareja romántica. Fuiste enviada a este mundo para complacerle y como herramienta para que él consiga lo que quiere.
La cuestión es que este tipo de persona nunca te reconocerá ni a ti ni a tus emociones, lo que también es una forma de abuso narcisista.
Siempre que te pasa algo, él tiene algo más importante a lo que todos deben prestar atención.
For example, when you talk to this person about your problems or tell him you’re feeling bad, he’ll never put any energy in trying to help you.
Instead, he’ll immediately turn the tables and make it all about him. He’ll start talking about a similar situation he was once in, or connect what you’re going through with something he experienced.
En cualquier caso, la cuestión es que anula a su víctima. Intenta borrar su individualidad y su objetivo final es su asesinato espiritual.
Acoso y espionaje
Lo más espeluznante de estar involucrado con un narcisista es su posesivo y naturaleza celosa.
And we’re not talking of the normal jealous because someone cares for you a lot and obviously can’t stay immune to picturing you next to someone else.
Con una personalidad narcisista, los celos forman parte de su trastorno y suelen ir más allá de tu comprensión.
El núcleo de su comportamiento posesivo radica en dos cosas principales: el deseo de control y los problemas de confianza.
En primer lugar, estas personas tienen una necesidad incontrolable de tener siempre el control en todos los aspectos de su vida y de la tuya.
They deny your right to privacy and things as boundaries and personal space don’t exist for them.
Secondly, we all think that the rest of the world is just like us. Therefore, a narcissist knowing that he can’t be trusted, expects everyone else, including you to be the same.
That’s why he usually engages in things such as spying and stalking. Yes, you heard it right: This is not just something you only see in the movies.
Un narcisista detallista elegirá a su víctima potencial mucho antes de acercarse a ella por primera vez.
He’ll spend some time stalking her and trying to collect as much information about her as possible.
Este acoso continúa también después de la ruptura. Sigue todos tus movimientos, se obsesiona con tus publicaciones en las redes sociales e incluso molesta a tus allegados.
When it comes to spying, it usually takes place during your narcissistic relationship and often includes techniques and equipment you don’t even know exist.
Don’t be surprised if you find out that your narcissistic partner has put cameras all around your apartment or found a way to listen in on your phone conversations.
These are the people who will hack your social media profiles, snoop through your phone while you’re sleeping, or even get someone to intentionally flirt with you just to check your fidelity.
The worst part is that you don’t have to give your narcissist a reason to doubt you in order for him to start behaving like this. It’s just a part of who he is and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
Identificación proyectiva
Un rasgo común de la personalidad narcisista es la proyección. De hecho, la identificación proyectiva es su mecanismo de defensa número uno.
No, they don’t use this projection as a way to defend themselves from you since you’re not the one attacking them.
En cambio, lo utilizan para protegerse de sus propios impulsos y de las partes ocultas de su carácter.
En algún nivel de su conciencia, los narcisistas saben quiénes son. Saben que tienen al menos algunas partes negativas de su personalidad.
However, they do their best to escape those aspects of themselves. In fact, they repress it to the point that they start pretending that they’re not there.
Sin embargo, el problema surge cuando una persona narcisista empieza a acusar a su víctima de tener esos impulsos que él intenta ocultar de sí mismo.
Cuando un narcisista proyecta sus malas cualidades en otra persona y empieza a odiarla por tener esos rasgos imaginarios.
Basically, if your narcissist is an abuser, this is something he can’t accept about himself.
Por lo tanto, es probable que te acuse de maltratadora, aunque él sea el único que muestra tendencias violentas en su comportamiento.
Lo mismo ocurre con la fidelidad. Si su narcisista es infiel, it’s not uncommon for him to accuse you of the same. If he hates himself or you, he’ll constantly accuse you of hating him, and so on.
El juego de las culpas
Otra de las cosas raras que los narcisistas hacen tan bien es jugar al juego de la culpa.
A big problem with these people is that they literally have no sense of responsibility, which is also a red flag that you’re dealing with a psicópata.
According to them, they’re never guilty for anything happening to them or around them.
In fact, when they’re in a relationship, the other person is always responsible for everything going downhill, while they’re the ones who should be praised for the relationship’s successes.
Narcissists don’t know how to apologize sincerely.
In fact, even when they at some point act like they’re ready to take responsibility, they turn the tables soon enough and make you look like the bad guy in the story.
Incluso si un narcisista consigue físicamente violento with you and has no other way of getting back into your life but to own up to his mistakes and promise he’ll never repeat them again, don’t expect to get a real apology.
Instead, he’ll probably try to blame you for provoking him. You were either too loud, you didn’t know when to stop arguing, or you told him something you knew would trigger him.
The same goes for infidelity as well. Even if you catch him red-handed and he has no other choice but to admit his error, he’ll use reverse psychology and make you guilty for his actions.
He might tell you that he had doubts about your fidelity or that you weren’t giving him enough attention. Practically, either way, you made him do it.
A narcissist has this need to always be the victim of every possible situation. He’s not mature enough to stand any kind of judgment or to take responsibility for his actions.
Instead, for him, it’s much easier to shift the blame to others and pretends to be perfect.
Sin embargo, el problema es que, al cabo de un tiempo, su víctima empieza a creerle.
He brainwashes you into thinking that you’re always the only one guilty, which makes it almost impossible for you to leave the cage he’s put you in.
Chantaje emocional
Narcissists are the biggest blackmailers in this world. No, they’re not the ones who will kidnap your loved one and ask for ransom (although you shouldn’t put it past them.)
Todo narcisista utiliza chantaje emocional como herramienta de éxito contra su víctima. Ya sabe que eligen con mucho cuidado a quién atacar y escudriñan a sus víctimas antes de acercarse a ellas.
Well, it’s quite unlikely that a narcissist will pick a heartless victim with a lack of empathy. They don’t choose selfish people with high self-esteem.
Instead, they’ll always focus on empaths with insecurity problems. Therefore, if a narcissist is involved with you, he is perfectly aware that you’re an emotional person who is mostly led by her feelings.
So, he uses this trait of yours against you. He threatens you, has anger outbursts, and does everything in his power to intimidate you every time he doesn’t get his way.
At the end of the day, you start to feel fear, obligation, and guilt – often referred to as FOG.
No, this man doesn’t care that you’re no longer with him out of your sincere love for him, he uses FOG to manipulate you into staying with him.
Emotional blackmail doesn’t only happen when you try leaving your narcissist.
También te chantajea cuando decides compartir tu versión de los hechos con alguien en un intento de liberarte de sus cadenas.
Sus amenazas difieren de una persona a otra.
While some narcissists tell you that they’ll turn your life into a living hell if you don’t do what they say, some threaten to make a huge scandal or drama and embarrass you in front of everyone.
También los hay con estrategias de chantaje más serias. Los que amenazan con hacerte daño físico si les dejas o prometen hacerse daño a sí mismos si te alejas.
Naturally, when this group is in question, you can’t help but feel FOG.
You’re afraid that your narcissist will turn his threats into reality, you feel obliged to be with him since you’re the only one who can prevent him from doing something bad, and at the end of the day, the overwhelming guilt prevents you from turning your back on him.
Consciously, you know that he wouldn’t do anything to hurt himself. However, there is always that tiny voice in the back of your head, wondering: “What if he really goes through with it?”
You know you couldn’t live with such a huge responsibility – you’d still consider yourself guilty for his actions, instead of realizing that this is a person who has a personality disorder and needs help.
Sabotaje
Cuando ves cuentos de hadas o telenovelas cursis, ves que el malo está dispuesto a hacer lo que haga falta con tal de crearle un problema al protagonista.
Van a sus espaldas y recurren a lo inimaginable.
Of course, you assume that this only happens in the movies. After all, who would go that far and through all of that trouble just to ruin another person’s life?
Pues bien, cuando te involucras con alguien que padece un trastorno narcisista de la personalidad, ves que todas estas intrigas son, de hecho, bastante realistas.
El hecho es que los narcisistas a menudo se comportan de manera similar a los villanos de las películas. Fingen amarte, pero en realidad hacen todo lo que está en su mano para sabotearte de todas las formas posibles.
They’ll give their best to destroy all of your other healthy relationships. They will spread gossip about you to your best friends, play double games, and lie in every chance they get.
Lo mismo con el trabajo.
Tu pareja narcisista es capaz de ocultarte correos importantes, romper literalmente el ordenador que necesitas para tu proyecto o llamar anónimamente a tu jefe para quejarse de tu trabajo.
Créeme, la madrastra malvada de todos esos cuentos de hadas no tiene nada que envidiar a un narcisista decidido a sabotear a su víctima.
However, he doesn’t do this only when you try to go ningún contacto y dejarlo.
In fact, a narcissist behaves like this during your relationship since it’s his way of forming stronger emotional codependency.
Luz de gas
Gaslighting is one of those weird things narcissists (and other people) do that you’ve probably heard of.
Resumiendo, luz de gas significa jugar con tu cabeza y tu salud mental, que es algo que a los narcisistas les encanta hacer y otro de los síntomas de su trastorno.
It’s a tactic every narcissistic person uses in attempts to control your world.
You see, for a sociopath like this, it’s not enough to have absolute control over everything going on around you, he wants to be in charge of all events taking place inside of you as well.
Cuando te ilumina con gas, un narcisista te lava el cerebro para que le creas más que a tus propios ojos, oídos e instintos.
Te hace creer que su percepción de la realidad es la única en la que debes confiar y seguir.
For example, when you’re being gaslighted, your abuser will often accuse you of imagining things, for overreacting or exaggerating, which of course impacts your mental health.
However, the suffering doesn’t end there. In fact, he will probably try to convince you that some things didn’t happen the way they did, even though you were there to experience them.
Un narcisista maligno hila los hechos y los interpreta de la forma que más le conviene.
This is especially true when it comes to you complaining about the treatment you’ve been getting in your toxic relationship.
At the end of the day, you’re not in an abusive relationship, you’re being too sensitive, or you’re too weak. He is not unfaithful, you’re the one who is overly paranoid or jealous.
Naturally, at first, you don’t believe him. However, after a while, your narcissist skilfully manages to distort your reality.
Al cabo de un tiempo, empiezas a sentirte perdido y a preguntarte si realmente eres tú el loco.
Al someter a sus víctimas a la luz de gas, los narcisistas hacen todo lo posible por agotarlas mentalmente hasta el punto de que ya no tengan fuerzas para enfrentarse a ellos.
