Fuiste Una Pesadilla De La Que Por Fin Desperté

When I look at things from today’s point of view, I see that everything from the beginning was pointing to the disaster waiting to happen. You were a manipulative, gilipollas egoísta y todas las señales de tu comportamiento tóxico estaban justo delante de mí.

Pero me negué a verlos durante años. Me negué a escuchar a la gente que me quería y que deseaba lo mejor para mí. Y, sobre todo, me cegué ante tu comportamiento hacia mí.

Desde el primer día, actuaste como si fueras algo que nunca fuiste. Te presentabas como el mejor hombre, como alguien que haría realidad todos mis sueños. Me decías todo lo que quería oír y, con el tiempo, caí en tus mentiras. Pensé que eras todo lo que buscaba, que eras la pieza del puzzle que me faltaba desde el principio. Aunque nunca creí en el concepto de almas gemelas, me convenciste de que nuestras almas se buscaban mutuamente desde el principio y que nuestro encuentro era cuestión de fe.

With time, I saw that you were becoming obsessed with me. But, I was foolish to believe that your jealousy was a sign of your love for me. I thought you were so in love with me that you were naturally terrified you’d lose me. And although deep down I knew I wasn’t doing anything wrong, you’ve managed to convince me that I was too flirty or too noisy and that I had too many friends. I knew how much I loved you, but you’ve always asking for proof of my love. And for you, the only proof enough was when things were your way.

After a while, you’ve become so controlling that I became scared to have a different opinion. I thought your way was the only right way. All of my friends and family were good for nothing and you were the only one who wanted the best for me.

What I didn’t realize was that you were not just manipulating me, you were also abusing me mentally and emotionally. And even when I had rare moments of clarity, I still loved you. Nothing else besides your love mattered to me. And I knew that you would walk away from me the moment I stood up to you.

So, I’ve started living my life by your rules. You convinced me that you made me a better person and that no other man would ever love me the way you loved me. And although I tried to fight it, I started believing it with time. I thought you would never do anything that would hurt me, without knowing that you were hurting me all along.

Todo esto duró hasta el maltrato físico started. That is when I finally had enough. I thought you could never do anything that would make me stop loving you, but when you started physically abusing me, all of a sudden, everything was clear. For the first time ever, I saw you for who you really were—a toxic and a manipulative abuser.

Y ya había tenido bastante.
Cuando me golpeaste, sentí como si alguien me hubiera despertado de un coma. Sentí que había estado durmiendo todos esos años y que algún milagro me había despertado.

Me di cuenta de que había estado viviendo una pesadilla todos estos años. Me di cuenta de que había estado viviendo una película de terror y que tú eras mi monstruo.

Y Me alejé from you that instant. All of a sudden, I wasn’t afraid anymore. I wasn’t afraid of you doing something to me. I wasn’t afraid of your emotional blackmail. I wasn’t scared if you’d do something to yourself. And most of all, I wasn’t afraid of living my life without you.
Porque me había liberado. Por fin estaba libre de tu opresión. Finalmente fui libre de la jaula en la que permití que me pusieras.

What I couldn’t understand is how I allowed you to do everything you did to me. How come I didn’t see your true colours sooner? How could I love someone who was destroying me for years? From this point of view, I can’t recognize myself from the time I was with you. I was simply enchanted with you and you took complete control over my personality.

And no, I don’t miss you. I stopped loving you long ago. Sometimes, I wish you had never come into my life.

Pero, todas las otras veces, estoy agradecida. Estoy agradecida porque me enseñaste de qué tipo de hombre debo alejarme. Pero, sobre todo, me mostraste lo fuerte que soy y lo débil que eres tú.