Mi marido malinterpreta todo lo que digo: cómo solucionarlo
Does this seem familiar to you: you ask your husband what he wants to eat for dinner, and before you know it, you’re at each other’s throats, shouting, crying, and fighting about something that has nothing to do with dinner?
Si cada conversación que mantienes con tu marido tiene la posibilidad de convertirse en una discusión y hacer que os enfadéis el uno con el otro, one of the biggest complaints you have about your marriage is probably something like, “My husband misinterprets everything I say.”
¿Por qué lo hace? ¿Por qué te hace sentir impotente e incomprendida? Hay muchos problemas posibles que podrían estar detrás de este comportamiento, y algunos de ellos se pueden arreglar si ambos se comprometen a trabajar en su matrimonio.
Here are 35 possible reasons why he does it, so let’s see what’s going on. When you figure out which of these applies to you, we’ll talk about what can be done.
Por qué mi marido malinterpreta todo lo que digo
If questions like “Why is it that my husband misinterprets everything I say?” or “¿Por qué mi marido me echa la culpa de todo?” have been plaguing you, you probably already have some idea of why it might be happening. After all, nadie lo conoce mejor que tú.
The difficulty in dealing with this depends on why he does it, but don’t rush to break up with him just yet. Algunas de las causas de sus problemas pueden resolverse con un poco de trabajo, mientras que otras son señales de advertencia que delatan problemas más profundos.
Para averiguar cuál de estas razones es la más parecida a tu situación, presta atención y piensa bien cómo es tu marido y cómo son vuestras peleas. Dependiendo de la respuesta que encuentres, podrás resolverlo con éxito o decidir que priorizar el amor propio es la mejor opción para tu bienestar.
1. He doesn’t listen.
Sometimes it might seem that he’s listening, but if he always misinterprets your words, he’s not hearing what you’re saying. A common reason for this is that he’s probably esperando su turno para hablar en lugar de escuchar lo que tienes que decir.
2. He’s insecure.
If he’s insecure about his shortcomings, he might be too focused on them. If sus pensamientos siempre están en lo que se siente inseguro, he’s constantly waiting for comments or criticism about that, so he’s not paying attention to your actual words.
3. He’s overly sensitive.
Una persona sensible se enfada rápidamente si percibe algo que se le ha dicho como hiriente o irrespetuosolo que puede provocar reacciones de confrontación.
4. He’s emotionally immature.
Comportamientos como negar su participación en la discusión, insultarte y culparte de todo pueden apuntar a inmadurez emocional. Puede que a él le cueste aceptarlo y, por tanto, a ti también.
5. Tiene problemas de autoestima.
Low self-esteem can cause a constant state of being on the lookout for criticism because he’s hyper-aware of all of his defectos reales e imaginarios, and he’s waiting for you to bring them up.
6. Se siente vulnerable.
He starts arguments because he’s trying to draw the attention away from whatever he believes is making him vulnerable at that moment. To compensate for it, he attacks before it comes up.
7. He’s easily offended.
En su ego es frágil, a man becomes offended at the smallest slight. For example, if he thinks what you’re saying is even a little critical, he’ll misinterpret it as being much more than it is.
8. He’s projecting.
Whatever it is that he’s feeling, he’s projecting it onto you. He might not be aware of it at all and really believe that it’s you who is responsible for whatever it is that he considers a problem.
9. He’s lashing out because he has other problems.
He could be experiencing problems at work, mental health issues, or trouble with other people and feel like it’s safe to unload all his stress on you because you’ll forgive him. He doesn’t think about how it might affect you.
10. Se siente poco apreciado.
En he feels like you don’t value himtu marido interpretará cualquier cosa que digas como un ataque personal. He’ll find a way to understand your words as criticism, even if it’s something completely innocent.
11. He’s self-righteous.
Because of his holier-than-thou attitude, he thinks that whatever he does is good, correct, and moral and can’t admit when he makes a mistake. When you talk to him, and he doesn’t like it, or it triggers something in him, he’ll never accept that it’s him who’s at fault.
12. He understands but doesn’t want to deal with it.
If you’re talking to him about something he doesn’t want to handle, he’ll pretend that he’s misunderstood you because that’s easier than taking responsibility. Cuando adquiere el hábito de la evasión, puede resultarle muy difícil dejarlo.
13. He’s convinced he’s right.
Tu marido malinterpreta lo que dices si de alguna manera choca con sus opiniones o ideas. Puede causar problemas incluso de algo pequeño, such as asking him to do a chore that he doesn’t want to do and thinks he shouldn’t.
14. He can’t admit that he’s wrong.
He refuses to ever admit that his actions or beliefs might be anything less than perfect. Even if he knows that you’re right, he’ll never own up to it and accept that he made a mistake porque valora su ego más que nada.
15. Fue educado para pensar que un hombre siempre tiene razón.
If he was brought up to hold sexist beliefs, he’ll never accept that there’s a possibility of him not being right. A man like that cree firmemente que todo lo que dice debe ser escuchado y aceptado sin cuestionarlo and that a woman’s opinions don’t matter.
16. Le beneficia.
Puede que oiga y entienda muy bien lo que le digas pero prefers to pretend that he doesn’t because he gets something from it, such as when he doesn’t want to do something you ask him to or wants to get a certain reaction from you.
17. Se siente con derecho.
Si su marido feels like it’s his right to have only his opinions valued, his whole thought process might be directed in that way. For example, you might be talking to him about something you believe is a problem, and he won’t accept that it’s a problem because he doesn’t think it is.
18. Le gusta discutir.
Algunos hombres simplemente se alimentan de la negatividad y la adrenalina de las discusiones, y él podría estar provocándolas a propósito. He doesn’t care at all about what you’re talking about or reaching a solution, as long as you’re arguing.
19. No tiene empatía.
He can’t see your point of view because he’s incapable of understanding how you feel. A man who has no empathy can’t understand that things aren’t only about him, and for this reason, he can’t take other people’s feelings seriously.
20. Quiere controlarte.
Tanto si puede ver tu perspectiva como si no, si quiere controlarte, he’ll use whatever means necessary to get what he wants. A man like this doesn’t even care about being right, only about how he can get you to do what he wants.
21. He’s gaslighting you.
If you’re tormented daily and can’t stop questioning yourself thinking, “Is it that my husband turns everything around and makes me seem crazy, or am I really going crazy?” debe tener cuidado con signs that he’s gaslighting you.
22. Quiere hacerte sentir culpable.
If he wants to punish you for something or achieve some goal, even when he knows what you’re saying, he’ll pretend he doesn’t. He’ll try to turn things around on you to make you feel guilty. It’s a devious manipulation technique that is emotionally abusive and can have long-term consequences.
23. He’s a narcissist.
Muchas de las cosas mencionadas hasta ahora podrían apuntar a que es un narcisista. If you’re feeling trapped in a toxic relationship and like you don’t know what to do, you might be a victim of abuso emocional narcisista.
24. You’re indirect.
Algunos hombres son literales y can’t understand subtler methods of communication. Si a esto le añadimos que a las mujeres se les enseña a no ser directas porque parecen controladoras, obtenemos una receta para la falta de comunicación.
25. Tu acercamiento lo desencadena.
How you talk to him can be a trigger for him to stop listening and start arguing. If he thinks you sound like you’re accusing him or criticizing him, he might get angry and close off. It doesn’t matter if you weren’t doing it in the first place.
26. Te frustras y escalas las cosas.
If he’s slow to respond or tends to ignore you, it’s natural that you might become frustrated. Esto puede hacer que percibas su silencio como un desacuerdo y empeorar las cosas. iniciando una pelea en lugar de esperar a que te muestre su reacción real.
27. You make a big deal when it’s not.
Algunas cosas pueden ser muy importantes para ti y no significar nada para él. Cuando tenéis formas diferentes de ver los asuntos, podéis enfadaros porque he doesn’t understand the importance of something that matters to you.
28. Esperas a que cometa un error.
Si la experiencia le ha enseñado que he’ll misinterpret your words or blame you for things, you start expecting it every time. Even at times when he’s not doing it, if you’re waiting for any hint of disagreement, it’ll eventually end in just that.
29. Tú le juzgas.
Sentirse juzgado por ti puede ponerlo a la defensiva y emocional. If he believes that you’re judging his behavior, reactions, or feelings, he might not know how to respond and act when something you disagree on comes up.
30. Luchas para ganar.
Una discusión acalorada puede ser saludable, pero if either of you is looking to win at fights, you’re damaging your relationship. If you’re using your arguments as weapons against each other instead of a tool to deal with issues, you might have a problem.
31. You don’t know how to communicate.
Sentir que tenéis que andar con pies de plomo el uno con el otro o empezar peleas de la nada puede significar que you don’t know how to communicate with each other. Cuando ninguno de los dos sabe cómo hablarse, incluso sus mejores intenciones pueden ser malinterpretadas.
32. You’re both stubborn.
Not wanting to give in because you’re both stubborn can make you regret your actions. If you’re stonewalling each other or resorting to the silent treatment just because you won’t let the other person be right, you’re causing damage to your relationship for the sake of pride.
33. You’re not discussing the same thing.
Sometimes you’re talking about two completely different things and don’t know it. For example, you might be talking about something that’s been bothering you, and he’s focused on a specific situation, so he disagrees.
34. You’re unwilling to compromise.
When you’re both convinced that your way is the only way, encontrar un compromiso puede ser imposible. If you’re unwilling to make space for each other in your thought process, arguments are inevitable.
35. Hay problemas mayores.
Sometimes the real issue has nothing to do with what you’re arguing about. Puede haber resentimiento, ira, celos, inseguridad y otros sentimientos o problemas que estén causando problemas en su relación.
Véase también: 12 beneficios que nos aportó la feminización de mi marido
¿Puedo arreglar mi relación con mi marido?
La respuesta a esta pregunta se reduce a tres cosas: ¿hay mala voluntad detrás de su forma de actuar, de sus sentimientos mutuos y de la disposición a trabajar en su matrimonio por parte de ambos?
If you can say with certainty, “My husband misinterprets everything I say because he wants to hurt me,” then you’re better off without him. If he hurts you but genuinely regrets it or wasn’t aware of what he was doing, then there is hope if you’re both willing to make an effort for your marriage.
1. Trabaja tus habilidades de comunicación.
Una vez que aprender a comunicarse eficazmente, you’ll be able to use those skills to improve all your relationships for the rest of your life. It will take time, many tries, and lots of willingness to work on it, but este es el primer paso que ambos deben dar si quieres mejorar tu relación.
2. Comunicar con claridad.
Don’t expect him to read your mind and don’t assume anything, and this goes for him as well. Sé muy claro con tus palabras y muestra siempre buena fe. If both of you focus on understanding the other person instead of proving a point, you’ll be much more successful in communicating.
3. Escúchate.
Practicar la escucha activa and try to do your best to understand each other. Some techniques include paying attention, asking questions when you don’t understand something, and providing feedback to check if you understood what the other person was trying to say.
4. Sea concreto.
Being vague about what it is you’re talking about can easily cause misunderstandings. Elija cuidadosamente sus palabras, and don’t leave space for ambiguity to make sure that the other person knows exactly what you’re trying to say.
5. Don’t blame each other.
Cuando se culpan mutuamente, se ponen a la defensiva y no quieren dar explicaciones. Si te das cuenta de que lo haces, da un paso atrás y vuelve a intentarlo. Por ejemplo, don’t say, “You make me feel ~.” Instead, say, “I feel ~.” Hace que la otra persona se sienta menos presionada y le permite hablar sin miedo.
6. Sé paciente con los demás.
A tu marido le puede llevar tiempo aprender a cambiar su forma de relacionarse contigo, y a ti te puede llevar tiempo aprender a hablar con él. Mientras a los dos os importe vuestro matrimonio y queráis mejorarlo, las cosas pueden funcionar. Ten paciencia mientras ambos aprendéis a hacerlo.
7. Intentar entenderse.
Truly try to put yourself in one another’s shoes. Try to understand why you’re doing the things you do, and give each other the benefit of the doubt. Becoming each other’s best friend and being compassionate can make a real difference.
8. You don’t always have to be right.
Would you rather have a happy marriage or always be right? If either of you chooses the second answer, there’s a problem. If your marriage is the priority, then the both of you have to learn to swallow your egos and try to see the other person’s point of view.
9. Tener argumentos constructivos.
Los expertos en relaciones hablan a menudo de que las discusiones son necesarias en las relaciones, pero ¿qué significa eso? It means that when you argue, you shouldn’t be trying to come out on top and prove that you’re right. Por el contrario, las discusiones deben ser una forma de expresar opiniones diferentes y aprender a aceptarlas y a llegar a compromisos.
10. Don’t threaten each other.
Threatening each other with leaving can make you do it in the heat of the moment. It’s not the only kind of threat that creates problems, though. Any time you try to make your partner afraid of doing something by holding something over their head, you damage your relationship.
11. Evita ser acusador.
Don’t bring up something that happened yesterday, last week, or in high school when you’re talking about whatever is bothering you at the moment. Don’t accuse each other of things that might be only in your head. Approach every conversation with openness and willingness to understand.
12. Cuida tu tono.
Don’t yell, scream, or use foul language when you disagree with each other. Don’t be sarcastic or mean. Don’t use words you know trigger each other. All of this sólo hará que te enfades más y sea menos probable que busques un compromiso.
13. Don’t get frustrated when you disagree.
While you’re working on solving your problems, there will come a time when you’ll disagree. Unless you let yourself and your husband make mistakes and understand that they will happen, you can get frustrated to the point of giving up.
14. Try to see each other’s perspectives.
Trying to understand your partner’s feelings and see their point of view is of the utmost importance. Stop looking at things from your own perspective and intente comprender el punto de vista de la otra persona para acercarte.
15. Accept each other’s differences.
En las relaciones humanas se dan opiniones, ideas y sentimientos diferentes. Aparte de algunos valores fundamentales, you don’t have to agree on everything to be happily married – you only have to accept each other’s differences.
16. Take a break if you’re too upset.
Learn how to stop things when you see that your argument is about to escalate. Agree beforehand what to do when you notice that you’re on the way to saying or doing something that will hurt each other and para hasta que te enfríes.
17. Don’t punish each other.
Don’t be passive-aggressive or give each other the silent treatment to make the other person regret what they’ve done. These things only make things worse in the long run.
18. 18. Perdonarse mutuamente.
When you do make a mistake, don’t let it turn into a grudge. Perdonaros todo lo que podáisy darnos la oportunidad de hacerlo mejor.
19. Tratar los problemas subyacentes.
If there are any issues on either side, from mental health to past issues in your relationship, that might be causing problems now, try to handle them. You’ll feel better if you both do your best to face things head-on and approach your marriage as a work in progress.
20. Pruebe con ayuda profesional.
Ninguna de estas soluciones es fácil. Si sus problemas son profundos, acudir a un consejero profesional puede ser de gran ayuda.. Un consejero matrimonial puede ayudarles a ver los verdaderos problemas y enseñarles a comunicarse. Todo lo que necesitas es la voluntad de trabajar en tu matrimonio.
Para concluir
Do your arguments with your husband start over small things and leave you both feeling angry, frustrated, and sorry? Are you constantly wondering, “What’s the reason that my husband misinterprets everything I say?” and trying to talk to him about it, only to cause more arguing?
I hope I’ve helped you find the answer to these questions. If you’ve figured out which one applies to your relationship and you want to work on it, I hope you’ll put my advice on how to deal with it to good use.
