Nadie me querrá nunca: lee esto cuando te sientas atascado
La mayor parte de mis años de instituto los pasé pensando en secreto: Nadie me amará jamás. Por alguna razón, solía sentirme tan poco querible e invisible.
I struggled with low self-esteem, and that’s what kept me from discovering self-love. It was a tremendously hard experience but one that has instilled a lot of wisdom that I’d love to share with you.
The thing I need to say right off the bat is that you deserve to be loved. You deserve to experience real love and find good friends who’ll never make you doubt your self-confidence.
Every human being goes through hardships that make them question their worth. Even your best friend has secret struggles, so don’t for a second think you’re alone.
Just because people don’t share their dispositions with the world, doesn’t mean they don’t struggle.
To think no one will ever love you is wrong on many levels. I’m going to help you understand where this feeling is coming from and how to fight it.
Los consejos que aporto proceden de mis propias experiencias vitales y espero sinceramente que le den la tranquilidad y la orientación que busca.
Véase también: Citas inspiradoras sobre las relaciones a distancia que te derretirán el corazón
¿Por qué crees que nadie te querrá nunca?
1. Tu baja autoestima te está frenando
Usually, people who have low self-confidence convince themselves they’re not worthy of love, which propels them to stop looking for it at all.
You’re driven by the thought that you don’t deserve happiness, which reinforces the idea that being kind to yourself is somehow selfish.
You never stop to simply check in with yourself and you’ve conditioned yourself to limit your own expectations. You’ve neglected to practice self-kindness and mindfulness, which, in turn, has taken a toll on your mental health.
Suele ser consecuencia de una mala ruptura con la pareja o del fin de una relación importante con otro ser querido (mejor amigo, hermano o padre).
Pronto te olvidas de cuidarte, dejas de buscar relaciones románticas y te dices cada día que nadie te querrá jamás.
Tus restricciones autoimpuestas aumentan tu necesidad de renunciar a tus propias necesidades vitales.
2. You’re fixated on your fear of rejection
My boyfriend of almost three years broke up with me on Valentine’s Day. The day I was supposed to be showered with love and attention, I got dumped by someone I thought was my forever.
¿Te imaginas la angustia? Así que sí, entiendo perfectamente que te sientas así.
But do you know what my dreadful experience ultimately showed me? That there is no reason to lose faith in romantic love just because someone doesn’t know how to treat you right!
Yes, you’ll have a bad break-up, maybe even a few! But that should never make you want to be alone for the rest of your life.
El miedo al rechazo NUNCA debe superar tu deseo de ser feliz.
Instead of fixating on everything that’s wrong with you, focus on all of your amazing qualities!
Yes, you lost a toxic individual, but now there’s finally room for someone amazing to enter your life!
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3. Lucha contra la depresión
Depression and sadness are two vastly different things. But when it comes to your well-being, it’s best to be certain in order to look for professional help without feeling judged.
Here are key signs that point out to feelings of legitimate depression. If you recognize yourself here, don’t shut down. Instead, have a conversation with a loved one and start taking steps to ensure healing.
○ Have you been experiencing bouts of fatigue lately?
○ Has your appetite significantly increased or decreased?
○ Have you lost the ability to focus on one particular thing?
○ Are feelings of worthlessness constantly crowding your mind?
○ Have you been alienating everyone around you?
○ Have you been struggling to keep hope?
○ Do you no longer have any interest in things that you used to love?
○ Have you been crying and contemplating self-harm?
If you’ve answered yes to most of these, you could be borderline depressed. This is not a thing to take lightly.
Don’t go through this alone. Choose to seek help and you’ll realize that things can get better.
4. You’re surrounded by the wrong people
We all want to believe that everyone in our life means well and that they’ll stay there forever.
But the honest truth is, half of them will eventually let you down. Now, I’m not saying this to make you feel bad.
The reason I want you to know this is to see that it’s okay to move on from people.
It’s okay to let go of your first love. People don’t have to stay in your life forever to serve their purpose.
Some are here to teach you a lesson and some are here to make you stronger. But keeping them around (knowing they don’t belong there anymore) harms you in the long run.
Choose to let go of your high school best friend who’s no longer the person you used to know. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It only means you’re putting your well-being first.
Keep only those who don’t make you feel alone when you’re with them. Those are the only people who’ll never make you believe that no one will ever love you.
5. No puedes aceptar tus defectos
Guess what? Nobody is perfect! Not me, not you, not your best friend, and most certainly not your siblings. And that’s totally fine!
¿Qué gracia tendría la vida si todos fuéramos perfectos? ¿Cómo aprenderíamos algo si nunca cometiéramos errores?
We wouldn’t. So I encourage you to accept your faults and quirks and love yourself despite them. If you don’t, who will?
It’s difficult to find an individual who’ll love you if you can’t love yourself.
If you’re forcing yourself to wear make-up because you don’t like your little blemishes, go one whole day completely natural. Why? Because it will teach you self-love.
Mírate al espejo y repite: Yo Soy hermosa, soy digna y merezco ser amada tal y como Dios me hizo.
Date una charla de ánimo y pon un poco de sentido común en tu propia cabeza.
Si puedes querer a tu hermana a pesar de los millones de pequeños defectos que te molestan a diario, también puedes quererte a ti mismo.
Véase también: Cómo afrontar el desamor: 15 maneras probadas de curar el dolor de corazón
6. Te quemaste demasiadas veces
I get it. You keep giving them chances, and they keep showing you why you shouldn’t. Isn’t that the way life goes?
I’ve struggled with this for a while too. I keep choosing to see the good in people and it keeps biting me in the ass.
Sometimes it’s just easier to be alone than to give someone a chance to hurt you.
But that’s where you’re wrong. See, by immediately jumping to conclusions and thinking you’ll be hurt, you show just how little you think of yourself.
Why would anyone want to purposely hurt you? Don’t let your toxic ex make you lose faith in yourself.
If you don’t put yourself out there, you deny yourself your right to be cherished.
I understand how challenging it is. I feel your deeply-rooted fear of being overlooked. I’ve experienced it myself.
Pero lo bonito de la vida es que nunca se sabe cuándo llamará a la puerta esa persona especial. Y si te aíslas del mundo, nunca lo harás.
Esto es lo que quiero que recuerdes
Next time you’re feeling lost and invisible, there are a few crucial things you should keep in mind. Take care to repeat this whenever the dark cloud overshadows you.
○ You matter
Tú importas. Cómo te sientes importa. La forma en que se desarrolla tu vida importa. No dejes que nadie te convenza de lo contrario.
Whoever has the decency to make you feel that you’re not worthy, deserves to be gone. Whoever feels their needs trump your own, deserves to feel the way you’re feeling now.
Cada ser humano es importante. En el gran ámbito de las cosas, no somos más que una minúscula mota de polvo en el espacio abandonada a nuestra suerte. Pero en tu propia vida, mereces ser la persona más importante que conoces.
Nobody knows what their true purpose is. Nobody can possibly know how their life will unfold and how much of an impact they’ll leave on the world.
But as an individual, it’s up to you to put some effort into loving yourself and make your existence on this earth one worth sharing.
Véase también: 250+ increíbles, divertidas y lindas leyendas de Instagram sobre el amor
○ There’s no such thing as wrong timing when it comes to love
It doesn’t matter how old you are. It doesn’t matter where you are in your life. If you want love, you deserve to find it.
Aunque te hayan salido canas. Aunque ya no te apetezca salir y hacer las cosas que antes te gustaban.
Incluso si su idea de una noche bien aprovechada significa tumbarse frente al televisor con vino.
Any timing is right when you want it to be. It’s time to stop diminishing your own worth and give yourself a real chance at finding your joy.
Y aunque suene a tópico, el amor suele encontrarte cuando dejas de buscarlo. Simplemente derriba tus muros y deja que te encuentre.
Te mereces pasar el resto de tu vida acurrucado junto a alguien que te haga sentir bien contigo mismo.
○ You are beautiful, smart, and fun
Nunca dejes que nadie te diga que tienes que cambiar por él. Si quieres hacer cambios, deben venir de ti y de nadie más.
The thing is, people often delude themselves into believing they’re ugly when it couldn’t be further from the truth. Celebrate your flaws and love your body just the way it is.
If you don’t look like everyone else around you, even better. Who wants to be the exact same copy of everyone else? It’s always better to stand out from the crowd because it allows you to be seen!
It’s okay to love yourself, you know? It’s healthy and it gives you a good perspective that helps you believe in yourself and your ability to love. You are perfect just the way you are.
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○ You are never alone
Don’t let your anxiety fool you into believing that you’re alone. I’m sure that’s not the case. Think about all the people who’d be crushed if they knew how little you think of yourself.
¿Cómo crees que se sentirían tus padres si supieran que eres tan duro contigo mismo? ¿Cómo crees que reaccionaría tu mejor amiga si supiera que sigues infravalorándote?
Put yourself in their shoes. These are the people who are rooting for you. Even if all you have is three genuinely caring loved ones, that’s more than most people have!
So never allow yourself to let your anxiety overpower you. Your people will never let you feel alone. And my gut tells me you know exactly who I’m talking about.
Así que recurre a ellos en tus momentos de desesperación y deja que te ayuden a mejorar. Un sistema de apoyo sólido es todo.
Choosing yourself isn’t selfish
It’s courageous and character-building. It means never having to cultivate negative thoughts like: Nadie me querrá nunca.
Choosing yourself means not letting your mind run wild due to unsubstantiated fears. It’s holding a high regard for your being and silencing your harsh inner critic.
It’s about learning that if you don’t stick up for yourself, nobody else will. Choosing yourself means living an authentic life and embracing your very core.
Don’t let people condition you to be everything that’s external to who you are. Strip yourself of the inclination to please others and stop hiding behind a facade.
Stop side-lining your needs. You’re nobody’s possession; therefore, you should only put your mind to things that are conducive to your mental health.
Empieza a verte a ti mismo de forma positiva para que los demás también te vean en todo tu esplendor. Aprende a encontrar una perspectiva optimista incluso en una situación negativa.
Weed out negative influences from your life and practice self-compassion. For once in your life – simply choose yourself.
”Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure… We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world… As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Willliamson
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