Nessuno mi amerà mai: leggete questo articolo quando vi sentite bloccati

La maggior parte dei miei anni di liceo li ho trascorsi pensando segretamente a me stesso: Nessuno mi amerà mai. Per qualche motivo, mi sentivo così poco amabile e invisibile.

I struggled with low self-esteem, and that’s what kept me from discovering self-love. It was a tremendously hard experience but one that has instilled a lot of wisdom that I’d love to share with you.

The thing I need to say right off the bat is that you deserve to be loved. You deserve to experience real love and find good friends who’ll never make you doubt your self-confidence.

Every human being goes through hardships that make them question their worth. Even your best friend has secret struggles, so don’t for a second think you’re alone.

Just because people don’t share their dispositions with the world, doesn’t mean they don’t struggle.

To think no one will ever love you is wrong on many levels. I’m going to help you understand where this feeling is coming from and how to fight it.

I consigli che vi fornisco derivano dalle mie esperienze di vita e spero sinceramente che vi diano la rassicurazione e la guida che cercate.

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Perché credete che nessuno vi amerà mai?

1. La bassa autostima vi frena

Usually, people who have low self-confidence convince themselves they’re not worthy of love, which propels them to stop looking for it at all.

You’re driven by the thought that you don’t deserve happiness, which reinforces the idea that being kind to yourself is somehow selfish.

You never stop to simply check in with yourself and you’ve conditioned yourself to limit your own expectations. You’ve neglected to practice self-kindness and mindfulness, which, in turn, has taken a toll on your mental health.

Di solito, ciò deriva da una brutta rottura con una persona importante o dalla fine di un rapporto importante con un'altra persona cara (migliore amico, fratello o genitore).

Ben presto ci si dimentica di prendersi cura di sé, si smette di cercare relazioni romantiche e ci si dice ogni giorno che nessuno ci amerà mai.

Le restrizioni che vi siete autoimposti aumentano il bisogno di rinunciare ai vostri bisogni vitali.

2. You’re fixated on your fear of rejection

My boyfriend of almost three years broke up with me on Valentine’s Day. The day I was supposed to be showered with love and attention, I got dumped by someone I thought was my forever.

Riesci a immaginare lo strazio? Quindi, sì, capisco perfettamente come possiate sentirvi in questo modo.

But do you know what my dreadful experience ultimately showed me? That there is no reason to lose faith in romantic love just because someone doesn’t know how to treat you right!

Yes, you’ll have a bad break-up, maybe even a few! But that should never make you want to be alone for the rest of your life.

La paura del rifiuto non deve MAI prevalere sul desiderio di essere felici!

Instead of fixating on everything that’s wrong with you, focus on all of your amazing qualities!

Yes, you lost a toxic individual, but now there’s finally room for someone amazing to enter your life!

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3. Lotta contro la depressione

Depression and sadness are two vastly different things. But when it comes to your well-being, it’s best to be certain in order to look for professional help without feeling judged.

Here are key signs that point out to feelings of legitimate depression. If you recognize yourself here, don’t shut down. Instead, have a conversation with a loved one and start taking steps to ensure healing.

○ Have you been experiencing bouts of fatigue lately?

○ Has your appetite significantly increased or decreased?

○ Have you lost the ability to focus on one particular thing?

○ Are feelings of worthlessness constantly crowding your mind?

○ Have you been alienating everyone around you?

○ Have you been struggling to keep hope?

○ Do you no longer have any interest in things that you used to love?

○ Have you been crying and contemplating self-harm?

If you’ve answered yes to most of these, you could be borderline depressed. This is not a thing to take lightly.

Don’t go through this alone. Choose to seek help and you’ll realize that things can get better.

4. You’re surrounded by the wrong people

We all want to believe that everyone in our life means well and that they’ll stay there forever.

But the honest truth is, half of them will eventually let you down. Now, I’m not saying this to make you feel bad.

The reason I want you to know this is to see that it’s okay to move on from people.

It’s okay to let go of your first love. People don’t have to stay in your life forever to serve their purpose.

Some are here to teach you a lesson and some are here to make you stronger. But keeping them around (knowing they don’t belong there anymore) harms you in the long run.

Choose to let go of your high school best friend who’s no longer the person you used to know. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It only means you’re putting your well-being first.

Keep only those who don’t make you feel alone when you’re with them. Those are the only people who’ll never make you believe that no one will ever love you.

5. Non riuscite ad accettare le vostre colpe

Guess what? Nobody is perfect! Not me, not you, not your best friend, and most certainly not your siblings. And that’s totally fine!

Che divertimento sarebbe la vita se fossimo tutti perfetti? Come potremmo imparare qualcosa se non commettessimo mai errori?

We wouldn’t. So I encourage you to accept your faults and quirks and love yourself despite them. If you don’t, who will?

It’s difficult to find an individual who’ll love you if you can’t love yourself.

If you’re forcing yourself to wear make-up because you don’t like your little blemishes, go one whole day completely natural. Why? Because it will teach you self-love.

Guardatevi allo specchio e ripetete: io Sono bella, sono degna e merito di essere amata così come Dio mi ha creata!

Fatevi un discorso di incoraggiamento e mettete un po' di buon senso nella vostra testa.

Se potete amare vostra sorella nonostante i suoi mille piccoli difetti che vi infastidiscono quotidianamente, potete benissimo amare anche voi stessi.

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6. Siete stati bruciati troppe volte

I get it. You keep giving them chances, and they keep showing you why you shouldn’t. Isn’t that the way life goes?

I’ve struggled with this for a while too. I keep choosing to see the good in people and it keeps biting me in the ass.

Sometimes it’s just easier to be alone than to give someone a chance to hurt you.

But that’s where you’re wrong. See, by immediately jumping to conclusions and thinking you’ll be hurt, you show just how little you think of yourself.

Why would anyone want to purposely hurt you? Don’t let your toxic ex make you lose faith in yourself.

If you don’t put yourself out there, you deny yourself your right to be cherished.

I understand how challenging it is. I feel your deeply-rooted fear of being overlooked. I’ve experienced it myself.

Ma la cosa bella della vita è che non si sa mai quando quella persona speciale verrà a bussare! E se ci si chiude al mondo, non lo si saprà mai.

Questo è ciò che voglio che tu ricordi

Next time you’re feeling lost and invisible, there are a few crucial things you should keep in mind. Take care to repeat this whenever the dark cloud overshadows you.

○ You matter

Voi siete importanti. Il modo in cui vi sentite è importante. Il modo in cui la vostra vita si svolge è importante. Non lasciate che nessuno vi convinca del contrario.

Whoever has the decency to make you feel that you’re not worthy, deserves to be gone. Whoever feels their needs trump your own, deserves to feel the way you’re feeling now.

Ogni essere umano è importante. Nella grande portata delle cose, non siamo altro che un minuscolo granello di polvere nello spazio lasciato a se stesso. Ma nella vostra vita, meritate di essere la persona più importante che conoscete.

Nobody knows what their true purpose is. Nobody can possibly know how their life will unfold and how much of an impact they’ll leave on the world.

But as an individual, it’s up to you to put some effort into loving yourself and make your existence on this earth one worth sharing.

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○ There’s no such thing as wrong timing when it comes to love

It doesn’t matter how old you are. It doesn’t matter where you are in your life. If you want love, you deserve to find it.

Anche se i capelli grigi sono arrivati. Anche se non avete più voglia di uscire e di fare le cose che vi piacevano un tempo.

Anche se la vostra idea di serata ben spesa significa poltrire davanti alla TV con del vino.

Any timing is right when you want it to be. It’s time to stop diminishing your own worth and give yourself a real chance at finding your joy.

E per quanto possa sembrare un cliché, l'amore di solito ti trova quando smetti di cercarlo. Abbattete i vostri muri e lasciate che sia lui a trovarvi.

Meritate di passare il resto della vostra vita accoccolati accanto a qualcuno che vi faccia sentire bene con voi stessi.

○ You are beautiful, smart, and fun

Non permettete mai a nessuno di dirvi che dovete cambiare voi stessi per loro. Se volete cambiare, dovete farlo voi e non altri.

The thing is, people often delude themselves into believing they’re ugly when it couldn’t be further from the truth. Celebrate your flaws and love your body just the way it is.

If you don’t look like everyone else around you, even better. Who wants to be the exact same copy of everyone else? It’s always better to stand out from the crowd because it allows you to be seen!

It’s okay to love yourself, you know? It’s healthy and it gives you a good perspective that helps you believe in yourself and your ability to love. You are perfect just the way you are.

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○ You are never alone

Don’t let your anxiety fool you into believing that you’re alone. I’m sure that’s not the case. Think about all the people who’d be crushed if they knew how little you think of yourself.

Come pensate che si sentirebbero i vostri genitori se sapessero che siete così severi con voi stessi? Come pensate che reagirebbe la vostra migliore amica se sapesse che continuate a sottovalutare il vostro valore?

Put yourself in their shoes. These are the people who are rooting for you. Even if all you have is three genuinely caring loved ones, that’s more than most people have!

So never allow yourself to let your anxiety overpower you. Your people will never let you feel alone. And my gut tells me you know exactly who I’m talking about.

Rivolgetevi a loro nei momenti di disperazione e lasciate che vi aiutino a stare meglio. Un solido sistema di supporto è tutto.

Choosing yourself isn’t selfish

It’s courageous and character-building. It means never having to cultivate negative thoughts like: Nessuno mi amerà mai.

Choosing yourself means not letting your mind run wild due to unsubstantiated fears. It’s holding a high regard for your being and silencing your harsh inner critic.

It’s about learning that if you don’t stick up for yourself, nobody else will. Choosing yourself means living an authentic life and embracing your very core.

Don’t let people condition you to be everything that’s external to who you are. Strip yourself of the inclination to please others and stop hiding behind a facade.

Stop side-lining your needs. You’re nobody’s possession; therefore, you should only put your mind to things that are conducive to your mental health.

Iniziate a vedervi in modo positivo per far sì che anche gli altri vi vedano in tutto il vostro splendore. Imparate a trovare una prospettiva ottimistica anche in una situazione negativa.

Weed out negative influences from your life and practice self-compassion. For once in your life – simply choose yourself.

”Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure… We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world… As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Willliamson

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