Por eso me fui

You know why I left. You may pretend you don’t to make it easier. And you’ve known, all along, I was going to leave. That decision wasn’t made all of a sudden. It took me a long time to take this life-changing step.

Now, I’m glad I did.

It took a lot of sacrifice and courage but somewhere along the line, I found it. Or, maybe you just destroyed me so much that I didn’t care what was going to happen. I only wanted to get out as soon as possible. I wanted to leave.

I left because you didn’t try hard enough. Una relación no es una calle de sentido único. You cannot be in a relationship with someone and think that’s it. You’ve done your part. The rest just goes with the flow. It’s going to be ok. That is not true.

It’s never going to be ok if you don’t try—if you don’t care. I can’t be the only one who gives a damn. I can’t be the only one who is investing everything I’ve got to make it work. That’s why I left. I was fed up with everything.

Me fui porque me hiciste sentir como un inútil. I busted my ass off to make something out of my life—out of our lives. I worked 2 to 3 jobs a day. I tried so hard because I cared.

But you were the anchor that was pulling me down to the bottom of the ocean. I felt worthless because you didn’t move a finger to help me—to help us.

The only thing you knew how to do—and you did it perfectly—was sitting on the couch and waiting for me to come back from work, asking what’s for lunch. Pardon my French, but FU.

Me fui porque estaba harto de falsas promesas y palabras vacías. I was done listening to your excuses for everything. I refused to believe that you are out of luck—that you couldn’t catch a break.

Me negué a creerlo porque sé que todos somos los sastres de nuestra propia felicidad. Lo sé porque todo lo que me ha pasado ha sido producto de mi trabajo duro y de mi obstinación por conseguir lo que quiero.

I tailored my life as best as I could with one flaw in it—you.

My dear, you can’t sit around the house and wait for good things to fall from the sky. You have to at least try. Try anything. Try something.

Me fui porque me hiciste quedar como un tonto. For 4 years, you’ve been dragging me along. For 4 years, you’ve been promising to move mountains for me. You didn’t move mountains. You didn’t even move a tiny rock.

Me mentiste. Estuviste mintiendo todo este tiempo. Y fui un estúpido por creerte. I was stupid for giving you chances to prove yourself. And you counted on that. You took advantage of that—of me. You knew I’ll fight for you—I’ll fight for us. You knew I would never give up on us.

Resulta que esta vez has dado un mordisco que era más de lo que podías masticar. Has dado un paso de más. Calculaste mal las cosas. La cagaste.

Me fui porque me hiciste miserable. Me fui porque era la única que hacía todo el trabajo. Me fui porque me ponías triste. Me fui porque me hiciste daño.

Me fui porque era conmigo con quien podías desquitarte. Yo era la que aguantaba tus insultos y tu mal humor.

Yo era el que sufría cada vez que tú estabas en tu propia dimensión, completamente alejado del mundo.

Me fui porque me di cuenta de que me quiero a mí misma.

Me fui porque me di cuenta de que mi vida no vale el dolor y el sufrimiento que me diste.

Me fui porque me di cuenta de que me lo merezco todo.

Y no me diste nada.  

Adiós.