You know why I left. You may pretend you don’t to make it easier. And you’ve known, all along, I was going to leave. That decision wasn’t made all of a sudden. It took me a long time to take this life-changing step.
Now, I’m glad I did.
It took a lot of sacrifice and courage but somewhere along the line, I found it. Or, maybe you just destroyed me so much that I didn’t care what was going to happen. I only wanted to get out as soon as possible. I wanted to leave.
I left because you didn’t try hard enough. A relationship is not a one-way street. You cannot be in a relationship with someone and think that’s it. You’ve done your part. The rest just goes with the flow. It’s going to be ok. That is not true.
It’s never going to be ok if you don’t try—if you don’t care. I can’t be the only one who gives a damn. I can’t be the only one who is investing everything I’ve got to make it work. That’s why I left. I was fed up with everything.
I left because you made me feel like a worthless nothing. I busted my ass off to make something out of my life—out of our lives. I worked 2 to 3 jobs a day. I tried so hard because I cared.
But you were the anchor that was pulling me down to the bottom of the ocean. I felt worthless because you didn’t move a finger to help me—to help us.
The only thing you knew how to do—and you did it perfectly—was sitting on the couch and waiting for me to come back from work, asking what’s for lunch. Pardon my French, but FU.
I left because I was fed up with false promises and empty words. I was done listening to your excuses for everything. I refused to believe that you are out of luck—that you couldn’t catch a break.
I refused to believe it because I know that we are all the tailors of our own happiness. I know this because everything that has happened to me was a product of my hard work and my stubbornness in achieving what I want.
I tailored my life as best as I could with one flaw in it—you.
My dear, you can’t sit around the house and wait for good things to fall from the sky. You have to at least try. Try anything. Try something.
I left because you made me look like a fool. For 4 years, you’ve been dragging me along. For 4 years, you’ve been promising to move mountains for me. You didn’t move mountains. You didn’t even move a tiny rock.
You lied to me. You were lying this whole time. And I was stupid for believing you. I was stupid for giving you chances to prove yourself. And you counted on that. You took advantage of that—of me. You knew I’ll fight for you—I’ll fight for us. You knew I would never give up on us.
It turns out that this time, you took one bite which was more than you could chew. You took one step too far. You miscalculated things. You f**ked up.
I left because you made me miserable. I left because I was the only one doing all the work. I left because you made me sad. I left because you hurt me.
I left because I was the one you could take it all out on. I was the one who put up with your insults and your bad moods.
I was the one who suffered every time you were in your own dimension, completely detached from the world.
I left because I realized I love myself.
I left because I realized my life is not worth the pain and suffering you gave me.
I left because I realized I deserve everything.
And you gave me nothing.