¿Puede un narcisista ser fiel? Todo lo que debe saber
¿Puede un narcisista ser fiel? Técnicamente, sí.
If you think of being faithful as not cheating, then, sure, a narcissist could probably be in a relationship and never sleep with someone who isn’t their partner.
But just because a narcissist isn’t cheating, it doesn’t mean they feel love and commitment. The reason why they’re being faithful is that they’re either still getting what they want from their partner or that they’ve never had an opportunity.
Ser fiel es algo más que no engañar. Fidelidad significa amar a alguien con todo el corazón and choosing them over everyone else in the world. But a narcissist isn’t capable of that.
Siga leyendo para saber más sobre los narcisistas, el amor y la lealtad.
Can A Narcissist Be Faithful? Here’s Why The Answer Is No
Narcissists are far more likely to be cheaters than the majority of people. They believe that rules that apply to others don’t apply to them. This is why they can have sex with someone who isn’t their partner without a second thought.
Even if a narcissist never sleeps with someone other than their partner, the answer to the question, “Can a narcissist be faithful in a relationship?” is no.
A narc might not be sleeping around, but they’re not faithful out of love and loyalty – it’s only because it’s in their best interest. The only reason a narcissist isn’t cheating is that they’re still getting what they need from their partner or a chance hasn’t presented itself.
To understand why that is, let’s first learn more about narcissists.
¿Estás en una relación con un narcisista?
People often use the term “narcissist” to describe someone who has narcissistic traits, such as being self-centered, but narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition that involves more than a single personality trait.
Narcissism is a spectrum. Having a slightly overblown ego is common, and simply being arrogant doesn’t mean that someone has narcissistic disorder. Someone with narcissistic tendencies is capable of healthy relationships, but someone with NPD isn’t.
¿Cómo puede saber si su pareja tiene rasgos narcisistas o si padece un trastorno narcisista de la personalidad? Sólo un médico puede diagnosticar un trastorno mental como éste, pero hay algunas señales de alarma que aclararán las cosas.
• SUPERIORITY
The quickest way to know that you’re with a narcissist is to pay attention to the way they treat others. A narcissist believes that they’re not like other people. Todas sus relaciones se basan en lo que pueden obtener de los demás, incluido tú.
Un narcisista sacrificará tu felicidad, tus intereses y tu bienestar por los suyos y no verá ningún problema en ello.
Puede que ni siquiera sean conscientes de lo deformada que está su forma de pensar porque se ven a sí mismos como la única persona que importa y a todos los demás como herramientas utilizadas para conseguir lo que quieren.
- ENTITLEMENT
They feel entitled to whatever they want because they think they’re special, and necesitan validación constante para recordárselo. Para ello, explotan a los demás sin tener en cuenta su bienestar.
Un narcisista siente que el mundo le debe las cosas que desea. Admiration, attention, success, acknowledgment – whatever it is that they crave, they expect to be given because they believe they’re entitled to it.
• ABUSE
When you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, nearly every day is a struggle to find hope in the face of narcissistic abuse. Un narcisista se aprovecha de tus inseguridades y miedos, luego distorsiona la realidad para hacerte creer que su comportamiento es culpa tuya.
La gaslighting es una de las principales armas de un narcisista – they’ll never admit to a fault or a mistake. Instead, they’ll make you doubt yourself and your perception. They must always preserve the image they hold of themselves, and your sanity isn’t a too steep a price to pay.
RELACIONADO: 52 cosas manipuladoras que dicen los narcisistas en una discusión
¿Puede un narcisista amar genuinamente a alguien?
You could say that the only person a narcissist loves is himself or herself, but that’s not quite true.
Narcissists don’t really feel self-love. What a narc feels underneath all the superiority is self-loathing and low self-esteem they’re trying to fight against at the expense of others.
This is why narcissists need constant affirmation from those around them that they’re as great as they’re trying to convince themselves they are. Everyone appreciates attention, but for a narcissist, it’s the only way to feel good about themselves.
A diferencia de la mayoría de las personas, los narcisistas son incapaces de alcanzar la plenitud desde dentro. Su autoestima depende totalmente de la validación externa.
Puedes ver cómo esto va de la mano con el engaño.
When their partner can’t give them what they’re looking for, they seek attention elsewhere. They don’t feel bad about it because su conducta se basa enteramente en hacerse sentir bien.
If you try to confront them, you’ll be faced with a complete refusal to take responsibility. The narcissist will use manipulation and emotional abuse to te hacen dudar de ti mismo.
A narcissist can’t feel real love because they have no interest in other people’s needs and feelings or the willingness to understand them. But los narcisistas pueden disfrazar su abuso de amor. They can be hurting you and make you feel like you’re the one hurting them.
Rasgos narcisistas y engaño
Una de las características rasgos de narcisismo es un falta de empatía. Esto significa que un narcisista es incapaz de conectar con otras personas, lo que le imposibilita amar a otra persona.
Los narcisistas tienen un grandioso sentido de la autoimportancia. They believe that everyone is beneath them and expect special treatment. For a narcissist, other people only have value if they serve a purpose, so they don’t think twice about taking advantage of others.
Tienen un sentido de derecho and believe that they’re owed things, most of all admiración, atención y validación. They use manipulation and abuse to get what they want if it’s not given.
Todos estos rasgos hacen que para un narcisista el engaño sea tan anodino como lo sería algo que no hace daño a nadie.
They don’t see cheating any worse than, for example, hanging out with a friend when you’re lonely and your partner is busy. If a narcissist isn’t getting attention from their partner, they’ll cheat on them as easily as if they were calling up a friend for drinks.
But even if a narcissist can’t see por qué they shouldn’t be unfaithful to their partner, it doesn’t mean that they don’t know that what they’re doing is wrong. They’ll hide the infidelity, not because they don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings, but so that they don’t have to bear the consequences.
Narcisismo sexual
El narcisismo sexual consta de cuatro partes: explotación sexual, sentido grandioso de la habilidad sexual, derecho sexual y falta de empatía sexual.
In other words, a sexual narcissist feels they’re great in bed and believes they’re entitled to sex. They’re willing to use people and don’t care about their sex partner’s experience. This is consistent with all other aspects of narcissism.
Significa que es probable que un narcisista tenga relaciones sexuales ocasionales y sin apego emocional. Según un investigación sobre narcisismo sexual, it’s also tightly linked with infidelity.
Narcissists are likely to cheat because they don’t place value on others unless in terms of what they can get from them. They use sex to prove to themselves that they’re superior at it, but also to fill their need for attention.
It’s of no consequence to a narcissist how their romantic or sexual partners feel. They easily justify to themselves sex outside of the relationship as something they’re entitled to because they’re better than ordinary people.
If they can’t get what they need from one person, they see no problem in looking for it with multiple partners.
¿Qué quiere un narcisista en una relación?
There’s only one thing a narcissist wants from a partner, and that’s to use them to fulfill their own desperate need for attention and admiration. How can a narcissist be faithful when they can’t genuinely love someone?
Los narcisistas nunca son realmente leales a sus parejas en ningún aspecto importante. Para un narcisista, una relación termina cuando no tiene nada más que ganar de su víctima, por lo que nunca se comprometen realmente.
They’re unfaithful because they’re always keeping their options open in case you stop giving them what they need – limitless attention, admiration and feelings of superiority.
Suministro narcisista
Las relaciones con parejas narcisistas pueden durar desde unos pocos meses hasta varios años. Para entender cómo funciona un narcisista, es útil familiarizarse con el concepto de oferta narcisista.
Los narcisistas necesitan una validación constante. Recibir un trato especial es la forma en que compensan sus inseguridades, por lo que siempre deben tener una fuente que les proporcione la admiración y la atención que necesitan.
They’re incapable of real bonds with people, so they target those around them who can fulfill their needs. Para mantener su fuente de suministro narcisista, manipulan y abusan de sus víctimas.
Ciclo de la relación narcisista
Así es como funciona una relación con un narcisista: primero te enganchan, luego te destrozan y, al final, te tiran.
As long as you serve your purpose, you’re useful. This is how the idea that a narcissist can be faithful can seem plausible: even if they’re abusive, they could still be faithful because what they’re getting from their victim is alimentando su suministro.
Las tres etapas del ciclo de la relación narcisista son:
Fase 1. Idealización
Do you believe in true love at first sight? Maybe you don’t, but then you meet el. Tu alma gemela. Alguien tan perfecto para ti que vuestro tiempo juntos parezca un cuento de hadas.
Cuando un narcisista necesita a alguien que le proporcione la atención necesaria y encuentra a alguien lo suficientemente vulnerable para utilizarlo, lo pone en un pedestal.
Los narcisistas idealizan a sus víctimas porque quieren creer que su suministro proviene de una fuente valiosa, no porque las amen.
At this stage, a narcissist might even believe that they feel love, but they don’t. They’re creating a fantasy version of you that can do no wrong so that they can deem you digno de ser su suministro.
They’re probably faithful at this point because they’re getting what they need from you.
The narcissist learns what their victim wants and presents themselves as the ideal partner. They give their victim what seems to be intense love and affection – pero en realidad está bombardeando – to get their trust so that they’ll let their guard down.
Fase 2. Devaluación
Soon enough, a narcissist realizes that you aren’t the person they made up inside their head. They think in absolutes – you can be either flawless or worthless. You can’t keep up with the demands of the narcissist, so you lose their value to them.
Even worse, if you love a narcissist, they’ll think of you as inferior and worthless. They transfer their feelings about themselves onto you. This is how they see themselves deep down, so if you love them, something is wrong with you.
The narcissist devalues their victim and puts them down because they don’t belong on the pedestal any longer. Abuso narcisista es el castigo por no ser lo que imaginaban y no poder darles lo que necesitan.
Amenazas de violencia, gaslighting, violar tus límites y aislarte de los miembros de tu familia son algunos de los comportamientos abusivos que un narcisista puede utilizar para castigarte.
En este punto, podrían ser infieles si ya han encontrado otro suministro. If they haven’t, they might appear remorseful and restart the cycle to get what they need from you.
Etapa 3. Descartar
When a narcissist can’t exploit you the way they want any longer, they first punish you, then discard you.
Sin embargo, antes de deshacerse por completo de su víctima, a narcissist wants to make sure that they’re punished the way they deserve. Invalidan tus sentimientos, se hacen las víctimas y llevan a cabo campañas de desprestigio para arruinar tu reputación.
Often, even after they discard their victims, a narcissist still leaves the door open so that they can come back in case there’s still more for them to take from you.
Todo se reduce al descorazonador hecho de que un narcisista es incapaz de amar. Algunos de ellos podrían creer que puede feel love, so when they inevitably become disappointed in their partner, they’ll place the blame on them and look for someone else.
After discarding their old, “faulty” significant other, a narcissist moves on to a new romantic partner, but in reality, all they want is another supply.
¿Cómo saber si un narcisista es infiel?
Esto depende del tipo de engaño que cometa el narcisista.
Sometimes, all they’re trying to get is more attention from their partner, and sometimes they want attention from whichever source they can get it.
Tipos de infidelidad
Some narcissists are satisfied with emotional infidelity, while others sleep with everyone who’s willing. Some are serial cheaters, and others have affairs.
If a narcissist doesn’t give as much value to sexual conquest as they give to, for example, wealth, business success or popularity, they might stay faithful, but only because they wouldn’t gain anything from infidelity.
1. Infidelidad física
La infidelidad física significa que el narcisista mantiene relaciones sexuales fuera de la relación. Puede tratarse de una relación duradera o de una aventura de una noche. This is what we usually think of when talking about infidelity, but it’s often connected to other types as well.
2. Infidelidad emocional
La infidelidad emocional se produce cuando alguien intima emocionalmente con otra persona que no es su pareja. Desarrollar una conexión emocional con otra persona puede ser tan perjudicial para una relación como una aventura sexual.
However, because a narcissist isn’t capable of really bonding with others, an emotional affair to them can mean different things than it does to an ordinary person.
3. Ciberinfidelidad
La ciberinfidelidad suele significar uso de redes sociales y aplicaciones de citas establecer algún tipo de relación íntima con otra persona o consumo excesivo de pornografía. It can stay on the level of just liking someone’s sexy pictures or escalate into sexting or video chatting.
4. Infidelidad de objeto
While it’s not often thought of as cheating, focusing on something to the point of obsession and neglecting your partner is a form of infidelity. This includes, for example, someone who’s so focused on their work that their relationship suffers.
Si un narcisista encuentra la validación que necesita teniendo éxito en su trabajo, podría ignorar a su pareja en la búsqueda de aún más admiración que puede obtener al lograr el éxito empresarial.
5. Micro infidelidad
La microinfidelidad puede arruinar una relación a largo plazo, por inofensiva que parezca. Se trata de acciones aparentemente insignificantes que alguien hace y que molestan a su pareja.
For example, if someone constantly flirts even though their partner doesn’t like it, the longer it goes on, their partner is more likely to get hurt, even if there’s no intention of taking it further.
RELACIONADO: 49 señales de una pareja infiel a las que deberías prestar atención
Señales de advertencia de infidelidad
Here are the signs that show that a partner might be cheating on you, regardless if they’re a narcissist or not. The main difference is that a narcissist will be much more defensive if you confront them and take their gaslighting to another level.
• Lack of interest in sex
If your partner suddenly loses interest in sex, it’s possible that they’re getting enough sex elsewhere. For any cheater, and especially a narcissist, sex outside of the relationship is far more exciting than sex with their partner.
• Changes in sexual behavior
When your partner suggests something they’ve never even mentioned before, it might be a sign of cheating. They might have tried something with the person they’re cheating with and liked it, so now they want to do it again.
• Claims to be working all the time
Suddenly having to work overtime or on the weekends might be an excuse, especially if your partner can’t give you answers to questions you ask them about it.
• Going out with friends more than usual
If your partner is meeting friends more often than usual, they might actually be meeting their affair partner. It’s especially likely if the things they tell you about hanging out with their friends are vague.
• Doesn’t want to spend time together
If your partner is avoiding you, they might be trying to hide something from you. It’s much easier to not talk at all than to talk and accidentally let something incriminating slip out.
• Unusual behavior
When your partner is acting oddly and you feel that something is off, it might be a sign that something is going on. For example, if they’re more irritable than usual, defensive when you ask them anything or if they blame you for everything that goes wrong.
• Suspicious technology use
Hiding their phone is one of the first signs that your partner might be cheating. If their phone is always on silent, if they leave the room to answer a call, if you sometimes can’t reach them on the phone, they might be sneaking around.
• Paying attention to appearance
If your partner has started paying attention to their appearance more than they used to, it could be because they want to look good for the person they’re cheating with.
• Suspicious spending
Los cargos inusuales en la tarjeta de crédito o las retiradas de efectivo inexplicables podrían significar que su pareja está gastando dinero en su pareja y financiando su engaño.
Reflexiones finales
Sometimes, a narcissist’s victim isn’t even aware that what they’re being put through isn’t okay. A narcissist works hard to normalizar los comportamientos abusivos and make their victim believe that they deserve credit when they’re not being hurtful.
For example, finding comfort in the fact that they’re not cheating on you is a result of their abuse. But can a narcissist be faithful to their partner when they can’t really love them?
La respuesta es, desgraciadamente, no.
A narcissist only uses people for their own gain. Even when they believe that they love someone, it’s temporary, on their own terms and only depends on what they can get from them. Sooner or later, they become disillusioned and move on.
If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, you won’t be the one to change them. Nadie puede y la única forma de salir del ciclo del maltrato es marcharse cuanto antes.
