Todo Lo Que Queda De Nuestro Amor Es Una Desagradable Cicatriz En Mi Corazón

It couldn’t end any other way, could it? When you feel something so powerful, when all your love and passion end up in the wrong hands, it crushes you so badly, it almost kills you.

Todo empezó tan rápido. Desde el día en que te conocí, sentí que había una conexión instantánea. Era casi como si supiera que serías alguien importante para mí, como si hubiera estado esperando ese momento durante toda mi vida.

When we talked for the first time, I was playing it cool. I don’t know If I pulled it off or not because my cheeks were blushing, my heart was pounding and I was afraid you would hear it. I felt like a teenage girl who had just met her crush. I wasn’t one to fall in love so easily but I guess I fell for you right there and then.

You fell for me too. At least that’s what you said. After a while, we started to date. We entered into a relationship so fast, and it was unlike me, as I am an overthinker así que me gusta pensar mucho antes de decidir algo importante. Pero me pareció tan natural estar contigo que bajé la guardia.

Todo parecía tan increíble. Podíamos hablar durante horas de cualquier cosa. Teníamos gustos similares en música, cine y comida, así que era fácil pasar el rato contigo. Hacíamos que un día normal fuera extraordinario en cuestión de segundos. Además, teníamos una química increíble; saltaban chispas cada vez que nos mirábamos a los ojos. Nos desnudábamos el uno al otro con la mirada cada vez que estábamos en la misma habitación. Las camas se rompían cuando estábamos solos. Todo parecía perfecto.

Everything was perfect, until one day it wasn’t anymore. You changed, or you showed your real face because you were tired of acting—acting like you were this normal, caring and loving person I had waited to meet my whole life. You became someone I couldn’t recognize.

All of a sudden, everything I said or did bothered you. I was always the one to blame no matter what happened and no matter whether it had anything to do with me at all or not. Somebody would piss you off and you would take it out on me. Every time we would get into a fight, it was always my fault. I didn’t understand you, I didn’t support you, basically everything I did, I did wrong, I could no longer see in you that reasonable and gentle person I had spent so much time with.

Everything revolved around you. Things you needed and things you wanted. It was like I didn’t exist anymore. Like I didn’t matter to you at all. On the other hand, I would go out of my way to please you. I wanted us to work. I wanted you to be happy. I couldn’t let all those special and meaningful moments go to waste like they had never happened just because you were going through a rough patch.

Pero tu mala racha no tenía fin. Claro que había días en los que volvías a ser el de antes, el que yo conocía, del que me enamoré, pero esos días eran muy raros. Tan raros que sentí que sólo había conocido el dolor desde que te conocí. Tu comportamiento había empeorado y nuestras peleas se habían convertido en nuestro único medio de comunicación.

Te volviste distante y nunca pude entender qué pasaba por tu mente. Cada vez que te pedía que compartieras tus sentimientos y pensamientos conmigo, decías que no había nada que compartir. Cada vez que te pedía que trabajaras en nosotros, que trabajaras en nuestra relación, parecías desinteresado o decías que lo intentarías pero nunca lo hacías, no realmente. Tu intento de ser mejor, de tratarme mejor, duraba unos días y luego volvías a mostrar tu verdadero yo.

I wasn’t about to give up on us. I tried, I really did. But there was that one moment that woke me up and made me see clearly for the first time. The moment, during one of our fights, where you raised your hand to hit me, and before I realized what was happening, you slapped me so hard that all the love I felt for you turned into fear.

You were sorry once you had cooled off, when you realized what you had done. But it was too late for stories. All the apologies in this world couldn’t make that better. You begged me for forgiveness but I was already out of the door, going somewhere, anywhere, away from you.

I couldn’t believe that you had that in you. Despite all the problems we had, I never thought you could ever do something like that, that you could ever be so violent. It took me a long long time to recover from you. But I managed. I got to the point where I was grateful for that slap in the face as it really made me see the real you—somebody toxic and violent, some stranger in the body of a man I once loved.

I am grateful because if it wasn’t for that slap, I would have stayed with you longer, I would have put up with everything, thinking things would change. I was living in hell and I would have kept on doing so if it hadn’t been for that horrible night. Te quería tanto verdaderamente, locamente, profundamente y todo lo que tengo para mostrar por ese amor es una fea cicatriz en mi corazón que lleva un amargo recuerdo de ti.