7 tipos y 13 signos de relaciones poco saludables entre padre e hija
El vínculo entre un padre y una hija debe ser algo muy especialúnico, puro y fuerte.
Por desgracia, a veces puede convertirse en algo malo y tóxico.
There are so many unhealthy father-daughter relationships today and in most cases, neither father nor daughter is actually aware that their relationship isn’t good for either one of them.
Demasiado amor puede ser tan perjudicial como demasiado poco. Un amor una relación estrecha puede convertirse fácilmente en una relación tóxica.
It can affect a person’s well being and confidence and other relationships as much as a poor father-daughter bond.
Además, una vez rota la salud de la relación, tanto al padre como a la hija les costará mucho volver a mejorar las cosas.
If you want to find out what the types of unhealthy father-daughter relationships are and how to fix it, keep reading below and you’ll find out.
7 tipos de relaciones poco saludables entre padre e hija
Todos experimentamos algunos problemas en nuestra relaciones padres-hijos y gracias a ese vínculo increíblemente fuerte que compartimos, todos los problemas pueden arreglarse.
He aquí los tipos de relaciones malsanas entre padres e hijas y algunos consejos para que vuelvan a ser mejores y sanas.
1. El padre ausente
We have to admit that fathers have one of the most important jobs in the world—providing for their family. Still, that’s not the reason why they shouldn’t always be present in their kids’ lives.
Nothing is more important for a daughter than to have a father who’ll be present in her life, supporting her in everything she does and spending time with her.
No matter whether you are his 1-year-old or 21 year-old-daughter, he needs to understand that you’ll always need him to step up and be your dad, not just on special occasions but every day.
I’m not trying to justify them but yes, fathers have so many obligations that make them less included in their daughter’s lives but still, they need to find a way to dedicate themselves to them in-between all those obligations.
Tener un padre ausente deja tantas consecuencias en tu salud mental.
Puede dar lugar a algunos problemas de comportamiento, dudas sobre uno mismo, depresión, inseguridades o malas notas en la escuela.
It may even affect negatively on your adult relationships or starting a romantic relationship with someone because you’ll always be kind of afraid that the other person might leave at any moment.
2. El padre abusivo
Los padres que tienen mal carácter o algún tipo de adicción son más propensos a maltratar a sus hijas.
Don’t think that you shouldn’t tell anyone about it and that it’s your duty to help him first because it’s not. You’re the one who needs help.
There is no justification for any kind of violence or abuse and you shouldn’t try to justify tu padre por abusar de ti o hacer que sea culpa tuya.
Trust me, it’s never your fault.
Don’t put up with your dad’s toxic behavior just because you think you have no one to talk to because there are so many people and organizations that can help you.
Turn to someone for help. It will clear your vision. You will see whether your father’s problems can be resolved or not.
If not, please don’t work on that relationship at any cost.
Some fathers didn’t deserve to be dads. Sometimes you have to cut them off and let yourself free.
El maltrato no es algo que se deba tolerar, sea cual sea la situación.
Las consecuencias emocionales y físicas de una padre maltratador para una niña son terribles y duraderas.
Pueden derivar en ataques de ansiedad, depresión, baja autoestima, odio hacia todos los hombres, un trastorno de la personalidad, pérdida del sentido de uno mismo o incluso un problema de consumo de sustancias.
3. El padre emocionalmente ausente
Igual que necesitas que tu padre esté físicamente presente en tu vida, también necesitas que esté emocionalmente presente.
Necesitas saber que siempre tienes su apoyo emocional.
If your father never expresses his feelings for you or you feel that he’s emotionally distant, you should talk to him about that and tell him that him being so emotionally unavailable bothers you a lot.
Tendrá efectos negativos en todas tus relaciones futuras.
It’ll be hard for you to maintain any kind of relationship because you too will become emotionally distant and won’t be able to deal with your emotions in a healthy way.
Un padre presente y atento es todo lo que una hija desea.
Tu padre es tu roca y tienes que poder acudir a él en busca de consejo o consuelo cada vez que lo necesites.
4. El padre narcisista
Un padre narcisista intenta ser el mejor en todo lo que hace, lo que incluye también la paternidad. Solo quiere presumir de sus hijos.
Ese tipo de padre considera la paternidad como una competición.
A competition of who’ll do a better job of raising their kids, whose kids will be more successful, rich or famous.
You don’t have to fulfill all of the unreasonably high expectations that your father has set for you.
If he’s always comparing you to other kids and expects you to always be better than others, you should tell him that it makes you nervous and ask him to stop doing that.
The narcissist type of father will try to manipulate you with some kinds of rewards and gifts because that’s his way to make you do what he wants you to do. Don’t fall for that.
Tu opinión es importante y debería serlo también para tu padre.
Dile que te molesta su incapacidad para prestar atención a tus pensamientos y sentimientos.
If you allow your father to have complete control over your life and manipulate you with gifts, you won’t be able to ever become completely independent.
5. The father who’s an addict
La adicción es un problema para toda la familia, no sólo para el adicto.
Ver a alguien cercano que se destroza la vida cada día y no saber cómo ayudarle es terrible.
Ocurre muy a menudo que los padres adictos al alcohol o a las drogas maltratan física y emocionalmente a sus hijos o a su cónyuge y esto deja efectos negativos sobre todo en sus hijas.
If you’re the daughter of an addict, I know that you had to face many difficulties in your childhood.
Las burlas y el acoso de otros niños son sólo dos de ellas. Ninguna niña se merece ese tipo de infancia.
You deserve to have a secure and stable life and a father who’s an addict will never be able to give it to you.
6. El padre crítico
There are some fathers who think that being critical will help their kids to achieve all their dreams and goals but that’s not how it works.
Al criticarte constantemente y marcarte objetivos poco razonables, sólo conseguirá que tengas problemas de autoestima.
I know that you’ll feel bad about not fulfilling them and for disappointing your father but you shouldn’t.
The only thing that’s important is that you should never disappoint yourself.
If your father puts too much pressure on you, you’ll be mentally stressed and won’t be able to focus on your goals and it’ll result in failure.
Because of your father’s criticism, you’ll feel like you’re a complete failure and it’ll definitely change your relationship with him.
Don’t allow your father’s criticism to influence you so much as to make you doubt your self-worth.
If he can’t see how much you’re worth, then that’s his problem, not yours.
7. El padre infiel
Cuando una hija descubre que su padre ha engañado a su madre, su relación ya no puede volver a ser la misma.
Siempre habrá algo de resentimiento por su parte.
Sé que aceptar el hecho de que un hombre al que admiras haya hecho algo así es especialmente difícil para las chicas jóvenes.
You just can’t accept that your parents are divorcing and you’ll never be able to fully forgive your father for hurting your mother like that.
You’ve always seen the love between your parents as a true and forever kind of love, you’ve always hoped that you’ll get to experience that kind of love one day.
Aun así, si ves que tu padre se arrepiente profundamente, deberías darle la oportunidad de explicar sus motivos.
You don’t have to forget it but you should forgive your father and work on your relationship.
Don’t think that all men are the same or be afraid to fall in love with someone just because you think that the same thing will happen to you one day.
Don’t stop believing in true love because of your father’s infidelity.
Véase también: ¿Por qué mi hija mayor es tan mala conmigo? 9 posibles razones
13 señales de una relación enfermiza entre padre e hija
Si quieres comprobar si tu relación padre-hija es sana o no, sólo tienes que ver estas señales de una relación padre-hijo poco sana.
1. The father wants to have complete control over his daughter’s life
Yes, parents have to worry about their kids’ lives, where they go and with whom they hang out but they don’t have the right to control their lives completely.
Siempre pueden darte algún consejo sobre cómo debes hacer algunas cosas en tu vida personal, pero nunca deben obligarte a hacer algo o a tomar una decisión en tu nombre.
Ellos te dieron la vida y trabajan duro para proporcionarte una vida mejor y, por supuesto, debes respetarlos y escuchar sus consejos.
Sin embargo, sólo tú tienes derecho a decidir sobre tu propia vida.
2. Hay algunos límites poco claros
Configuración algunos límites saludables es esencial para que funcione cualquier tipo de relación.
If there are some unclear boundaries in a relationship between a father and a daughter or if they don’t respect each other’s boundaries, their relationship will become toxic for sure.
The father needs to respect his daughter’s privacy. Going through her phone means that you don’t trust her and that can be very painful for your daughter.
You need to accept that your daughter is growing up and she’ll need more and more personal space and privacy.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this because we all need our privacy.
We all have some ‘sacred place’, our personal space where we feel most comfortable and in this case, it’s probably her room.
That’s why you should never enter her room without knocking first.
3. Falta de comunicación
It’s a fact that adolescence weakens the bond between a father and a daughter.
It’s all because both of them need to have more open communication and they avoid it because they don’t feel comfortable engaging in those kinds of conversations.
Estoy de acuerdo en que la adolescencia puede ser una época bastante dura tanto para los padres como para sus hijas.
Uno de los problemas más frecuentes en una relación padre-hija es la falta de comunicación.
It’s hard to understand a teenage girl’s needs and how to communicate with them but together you’ll have to find a way to get through it and not let it affect your strong bond.
4. Expectativas poco realistas
Por desgracia, hay algunos padres que fijan expectativas poco realistas y poco razonables para sus hijos.
That’s how they put too much pressure on them, which causes them to be nervous or stressed.
You should have some expectations for your daughter because you know that she’s capable of achieving them but if you set some absurdly high expectations for her, it’ll harm her and your relationship with her in so many ways.
When she understands that she can’t meet those expectations, she’ll feel like she has disappointed you and it’ll affect her self-confidence.
Even when she fails to reach her goals, you always have to show that you’re proud of her no matter what.
Si decide tomar otro camino en lugar del que le sugeriste, debe saber que cuenta con tu apoyo.
5. The father doesn’t allow the daughter to say her opinion
Todos somos seres humanos diferentes con opiniones distintas sobre determinadas cosas. Todos deberíamos tener derecho a decir nuestra opinión en todas las situaciones.
This kind of unhealthy relationship when the father underestimates his daughter’s opinions will only result in low self-esteem for her.
She will become emotionally closed off and it’ll be hard for her to open up to anyone.
She’ll be afraid of talking about her feelings and thoughts with someone because she’ll think that they’re wrong or that other people don’t care about them.
6. Cualquier tipo de abuso emocional
La mayoría de los padres representan modelos de conducta para sus hijos pero, por desgracia, hay algunos padres que perjudican a sus hijos con sus abuso emocional constante.
The fact is that leaves some indelible consequences on their kids and their future relationships. Verbal abuse isn’t any way to raise your children.
¿Qué pasaría si su hija cometiera un error? Todos lo hacemos y los niños aprenden mejor de sus propios errores.
Any kind of criticism or humiliating her won’t do any good. You have to talk to her, point out her mistakes and together find a way to fix them.
7. El padre compara a su hija con otros niños
Comparar a tu hija con otros niños del colegio, del barrio o con sus hermanos es una de las peores cosas que puede hacer un padre.
It’ll affect her self-esteem and self-worth. She might become jealous or start competing with all those other children.
We’re all good at something and you should understand that she can’t be good at all of those things you would want her to be.
You have to know that your daughter is unique and that she shouldn’t be compared to other kids.
Girls are pretty emotional and you don’t know how painful it is for her to hear (especially from you) that some other kid is better than her.
8. Crítica constante
If you think that constantly criticizing your daughter is a good way to point out her mistakes to her or to make her progress in life, you’re wrong.
Constant criticism will only make her doubt herself. She’ll always have the feeling that she is letting you down, no matter what she does.
It’s impossible to have a good relationship with your daughter if the only thing you do is criticize her.
If she does something wrong, yes, you should point it out to her and criticize her a little but you should also encourage her to be better and criticizing her isn’t the way to do it.
Merece ser criticada si ha hecho algo malo, pero también merece ser elogiada cada vez que se comporta bien y hace algo bueno.
9. El padre nunca acepta la responsabilidad de su propio comportamiento y culpa de todo a la hija
No hay justificación para ningún tipo de abuso, por lo tanto no hay justificación para abusar verbalmente de su hija.
You can’t blame it on her and tell her that it’s her fault. If she did something bad, you could react in another way than swearing or yelling at her.
No existe la paternidad perfecta porque los padres también cometemos errores.
Pero la cuestión es que cada vez que cometes un error, tienes que asumir tu responsabilidad y admitirlo.
That’s a good example you’re giving to your daughter that will help her with her adult relationships.
10. El padre utiliza a su hija como su principal fuente de apoyo emocional
Have you ever heard of emotional parentification? That’s when a parent involves one of their kids in their problems too much.
That kid needs to hear their problems and give them advice; in other words, the child is actually doing the parent’s job.
Some fathers do exactly that with their daughters and unfortunately, they aren’t aware of the long-term negative consequences it can leave on them.
Esto ocurre sobre todo cuando los padres se divorcian. El padre utiliza a su hija como principal apoyo y la hija media entre sus padres todo el tiempo.
The daughter will feel sorry for her father and his problems and she won’t feel comfortable sharing some of her own problems with him.
She’ll be suppressing them along with her emotions, which might result in depression or stress.
11. The father doesn’t allow the daughter to become independent
You have to be aware of the fact that your daughter is growing up and that one day she’ll be an independent woman.
Lo único normal es deja que extienda sus alas y abandone tu nido.
Of course, she’ll still be your little girl and she’ll still come to visit you. Becoming independent doesn’t mean she’ll forget her father and you’ll grow apart from each other.
Every parent has a hard time letting go and realizing that their kids have become independent but if you try to keep her dependent, she might miss some great things in life because of you and you’ll regret it one day.
12. La hija teme constantemente decepcionar a su padre
Each kid’s biggest wish is to make their parents proud of them and you should never think that just because you’ve made one mistake or didn’t manage to fulfill some of their expectations, you’ll disappoint them.
If you’re constantly afraid of disappointing your father in everything you do, you’ll feel more nervous and stressed and that will affect your relationship with him too.
Don’t only consider your father as an authority, consider him as your friend too because indeed, your parents are your true friends.
Feel free to open up to him when you think you’ve disappointed him and talk about it.
Don’t run away from your problems or try to avoid talking to your father because that would only mean that you are suppressing it all and that’s the worst thing you can do.
13. The father is always included in his daughter’s decision-making processes
You can always ask your father for advice when you need it and your father will always give you some advice if he feels you need it but it’s unhealthy for both of you to seek permission from your father every time you want to do something.
You can always consult your father before you make a decision but he shouldn’t always be included in your decision-making processes.
Some decisions you have to make alone because that’s how you’re learning to be independent.
Recuerda que cualquiera puede darte consejos que te ayuden a tomar una decisión final, pero sólo tú tienes derecho a tomarla.
Becoming a father for the first time is both frightening and beautiful at the same time. You want to do a good job with your kid but it’s all new to you and you’re afraid that you’ll fail at it.
Para concluir
Por desgracia, creo que many of us aren’t even aware of the true importance of fathers and how essential that father figure is in every girl’s life.
A father’s influence in a daughter’s life is so incredibly important and unfortunately, most fathers aren’t aware of that.
They’re their daughter’s role model and they really need to ask themselves if they are really role model material.
Unhealthy father-daughter relationships always leave negative effects on every girl’s life.
That’s why it’s necessary to work on your relationships and try to be a better daughter to your father or a better father to your daughter.
