Cómo dejar de gustar a alguien que no puedes tener: 10 Maneras De Tener Éxito
We’ve all been in a situation where we wondered how to stop liking a guy or a girl we can’t have.
It is not that you love this person, but the truth is that you’re more than physically attracted to them, and you can see yourself in a relationship with them.
But sadly, they don’t feel the same way about you. Maybe they’re already taken or don’t see you as a more than friend.
Either way, it is clear that you don’t have a shot with them. However, despite all of your efforts, you can’t help but take your mind off them.
This entire situation makes you feel childish: after all, you’re crying over someone you were never in a relationship with.
Sin embargo, no es algo de lo que deba avergonzarse.
De hecho, muchos expertos afirman que a veces es incluso más difícil supera a alguien que nunca tuviste and know will never be yours than move on after a person you’ve already dated.
You think of all the potential you two would have as a couple, and you can’t accept the fact that they’ll forever remain unattainable for you.
At the same time, your ego is hurt. How come this person doesn’t want to even give you a chance?
¿Realmente pasarás el resto de tu vida sin haberlos tenido nunca? ¿Nunca sabrás lo que se siente al besarlos y cogerlos de la mano?
Well, the harsh truth is that you probably will, and it is something you’ll simply have to deal with, whether you like it or not.
However, this is not the end of the world, and if you just follow this dating advice, you’ll get over them in no time.
Sea realista sobre la situación
According to most dating advice, if you’re trying to figure out how to make yourself stop liking someone, the first step is to accept the situation, as much as it might be painful.
I know it is difficult to face the fact that someone you like very much doesn’t care about you enough and doesn’t want to give you a chance, but that is simply how things are.
Therefore, you can’t make any progress if you keep on getting your hopes up regarding this person.
There is no point in putting effort in forgetting them if you’re simultaneously trying to get them to like you back and doing everything you can to win them over.
Para que alguien deje de gustarte de verdad, tienes que acabar con toda esperanza de que lleguéis a ser algo.
Don’t ignorarlos en un intento de llamar su atención because you won’t get the results you want.
Don’t waste this entire time patiently waiting for them to realize what they’re losing or to come crawling back to you once they see you’re really serious about your intentions.
Don’t do it to prove a point or to show this person you can make it without them.
Don’t do it because of them. Try doing it with the goal to help yourself and make yourself feel better. First and foremost, stop looking for hidden messages.
Stop trying to misinterpret this person’s behavior and other acts of kindness as a sign they might have some feelings for you after all.
If necessary, to start the process of getting over this person, look at yourself in the mirror every single morning and repeat that they don’t like you, never did, and never will.
Sí, escuchar esto no es fácil, pero es la única manera de que realmente lo entiendas y lo comprendas.
Evitar el juego de las culpas
After you’ve successfully managed to come to terms with the situation, it is time to accept that there is no deeper, hidden reason for it.
This person simply doesn’t like you, and they’re not in any way mandatory to do so.
First of all, don’t blame them for not feeling the way you would want them to.
You know how you can’t order your corazón roto ¿dejar de gustarles?
Well, they can’t force themselves to like you either–it’s that simple. Laws of attraction are usually hard to explain, and just because someone isn’t into you, it doesn’t mean you should feel resentful towards them or start hating them.
De hecho, empieza a ver las cosas de esta manera: en realidad deberías estar agradecido por el hecho de que nunca te hayan engañado.
They didn’t give you any false hope nor did they play with your emotions.
Las cosas estaban claras desde el primer día y la forma de sentirlas es una cuestión completamente distinta.
Lo que también es importante es no culparse por la falta de emociones que está recibiendo del objeto de su afecto.
No, you shouldn’t be more attractive, smarter or more interesting, and there is nothing you could have done to win their heart over.
Stop taking this rejection personally! Just because one person doesn’t like you, it certainly doesn’t mean that you’re not good enough or not meant to be loved.
You don’t need closure or explanation. You need to understand that you’re hung up on the wrong person, and maybe see this as the Universe’s way of saving you from a loveless relationship which was doomed to fail.
Después de todo, lo último que quieres es que alguien salga contigo sólo porque le das pena o porque no hay nadie mejor en su horizonte en este momento.
Quieres gustarle a tu pareja de la misma forma que te gusta a ti, ¡y está claro que no es alguien capaz de hacerlo!
Dése un plazo
Congratulations because you’ve done a load of self-introspection, and you’re ready to make some concrete moves which will surely lead you to becoming completely indifferent towards this person.
However, you can’t expect everything to change in the blink of an eye.
Yes, the truth is that luckily, you still haven’t grown to love this person.
Nevertheless, the infatuation you feel is quite intense, and it lasted for a while, so you’ll need a certain period for letting go as well.
At the same time, you don’t want to spend more time trying to figure out how to stop liking your crush than you spent being head over heels for them.
Therefore, the best thing you can do is to listen to this dating advice, and give yourself a deadline in which you’ll make this happen.
Observe the following simple steps and determine the time frame in which you should achieve your final goal—to get over the girl or the guy you like.
Be realistic and not too harsh, but don’t baby yourself either. If necessary, write down your progress with each day that passes.
Tenga en cuenta que curación is never a linear process, so don’t beat yourself up about going backwards just because you have a few shitty episodes.
Sometimes, you’re convinced that you’re not going anywhere, and you fail to see all the small steps you’ve made just because there wasn’t any huge achievement.
However, when you start tracking your progress, you’ll have full insight on how far you’ve come.
Don’t be ashamed of being too detailed—after all, you’re the only one who’ll be reading this.
Cuente cuántas veces ha pensado en ellos, cuántas veces ha visitado sus perfiles en las redes sociales, cuántas veces los ha mencionado a sus amigos y familiares y cuántas veces ha cogido el teléfono y ha querido llamarlos.
Le prometo que, a medida que se acerque la fecha límite, las cifras irán disminuyendo drásticamente a medida que pasen los días.
In fact, you’ll even catch yourself not thinking about them for a while, which is something that never used to happen before.
Otra buena estrategia es darte un capricho cada vez que alcances un gran hito.
Será suficiente para preparar tu comida favorita o para comprarte un detalle por cada hito superado.
This way, you’re giving yourself some motivation you desperately need, and without even being aware of it, you’re pushing yourself forward to keep up the good work.
Distanciarse de la persona que le gusta
Lo más importante que tienes que hacer en esta situación si quieres sálvate a ti mismo es cortar todos los lazos posibles con el objeto de tu afecto.
You can’t expect to fall out of love with them if you guys keep hanging out together, if you continue being just friends, and if you remain in each other’s lives in any other way.
Por lo tanto, en primer lugar, tienes que apartar físicamente a esa persona de tu lado, y luego trabajar para apartarla de tu corazón y de tu mente.
If you think that blocking someone’s number and having the need to unfollow their social media profiles is childish, I completely agree.
After all, we’re all adults, and in most case scenarios, these types of drastic moves are exaggerated.
Sin embargo, en tu situación, esto es exactamente lo que debes hacer porque las opciones de bloquear y dejar de seguir son las únicas formas de evitar que los aceches o que esperes constantemente sus llamadas.
Además, es una buena idea dejar de aparecer en los lugares en los que sabes que podrías encontrártelos.
Si tenéis amigos en común, pídeles educadamente que no mencionen a esa persona delante de ti y que no te den ninguna información sobre ella ni sobre su vida amorosa, aunque se lo preguntes.
If this doesn’t work, cut as many ties as possible with everyone who knows them and especially with their closest friends and family.
Yes, at first, it will be hard because investigating your crush’s activity and talking about them has become a kind of addiction for you.
However, after a while, when you see how much good this strategy has brought you, you’ll be proud of yourself for pulling it off.
Sin embargo, existe la posibilidad de que tengas que ingeniártelas para que deje de gustarte alguien a quien ves todos los días.
¿Y si se trata de su vecino de al lado, un compañero de trabajo o alguien con quien simplemente tiene que estar en contacto?
Pues bien, si éste es el caso, en primer lugar, reduzca su comunicación al mínimo y evítelos en la medida de lo posible.
Don’t engage in any conversations that are not strictly professional, and stop getting yourself involved in any kind of personal relationship, even if they want to be just friends because you wish for something more.
Además, concéntrate en sus defectos en lugar de en sus lados buenos.
Remember that you’re idealizing this person and that you never dated them, so you probably don’t have a clue about the parts of their personality you wouldn’t like.
Don’t insult them or put them down because that would be childish, besides being rude.
However, whenever you’re around them, take off your rose-colored glasses; focus on the imperfections regarding their looks and character and keep telling yourself that you two would never have been a dream couple.
Don’t run away from your feelings
El error número uno que comete la mayoría de la gente cuando intenta olvidar a alguien es reprimir sus emociones.
They’re ashamed of admitting to themselves that they’re head over heels for someone because that realization would destroy their ego, so they just go on, pretending that nothing is going on and that they’re not as badly hurt as they really are.
Nevertheless, according to most dating advice, this approach won’t bring you far.
After all, if you convince yourself that this person’s lack of emotions doesn’t bother you, you’ll also see no need of doing something about your feelings, which you pretend don’t even exist.
Recuerda que reprimir tus emociones sólo puede crear un alboroto en tu corazón y en tu mente.
In fact, your emotions might become stronger with time, and before you know it, you’ll catch yourself loving this person, instead of just liking them.
Para evitarlo, es crucial entrar en contacto con tus sentimientos, sin dejar que te definan por completo.
Sin embargo, la única forma de cambiarlos es reconocerlos a ambos y su verdadera intensidad.
¿Cuánto te gusta realmente esta persona? ¿Es un flechazo temporal, una atracción física, un enamoramiento o amenaza con convertirse en algo mucho más?
Another thing to pay attention to is the source of your pain. Are you indeed heartbroken because of this one-sided love or is all of this just your ego which can’t stand rejection?
Trust me—it will be a hell of a lot easier for you to handle this situation once you become aware of everything you’re dealing with.
Mantente ocupado
The worst thing you can do when you’re trying to get over the girl or the guy you like is to shut yourself off from the rest of the world.
Yes, you’ve acknowledged your emotions, but that doesn’t mean you should let the sorrow eat you alive or get the best of you.
De la misma manera que te diste un plazo para dejarse llevarTambién determina un plazo en el que tienes que dejar de compadecerte de ti mismo.
Empieza dándote unos días para procesar las cosas, para estar a solas con tus pensamientos y para llorar el dolor.
Sin embargo, una vez finalizado ese periodo, debes centrarte en no aburrirte nunca.
As long as you have plenty of time on your hands, your thoughts will wander and bring you to thinking about this person you’re so desperately trying to forget.
Por lo tanto, la forma más eficaz de evitar que esto ocurra es mantenerse lo más ocupado posible.
If necessary, make a strict schedule of your everyday activities, so you’re never left with time or energy to think about them.
You can engage in more work as well, but don’t let that become your only sanctuary.
En su lugar, vaya al gimnasio, empiece una nueva afición, comience a aprender un nuevo idioma o incluso empiece a ver un nuevo programa de televisión.
Haga lo que haga, asegúrese de que tanto su mente como su cuerpo están lo más activos posible.
Don’t push yourself too hard and do things which make you happy and pleased.
At first, you’ll probably see all of this as a waste of time because you’ll continue to think about your crush even in the most crowded places.
Nevertheless, with time, you’ll realize that your thoughts are more and more occupied with other things.
Socialice
Otra buena forma de mantenerse ocupado es pasar tiempo con su buenos amigos.
Tienes la opción de llamar a tus viejos amigos o salir a buscar algunos nuevos para ampliar tu círculo social.
Sea cual sea la actividad que practique, puede ser una oportunidad para conocer gente nueva.
Find a gym partner, a hiking buddy or join a book club where you’ll find some folks who have similar interests as yourself.
Go clubbing, volunteer or spend a day with family—just don’t ever isolate yourself from the rest of the world.
Don’t get me wrong—I’m not advising you to run away from your thoughts, but don’t spend most of your time alone with them either.
Estar rodeado de gente por primera vez tras el desengaño amoroso puede molestarte.
Al fin y al cabo, te gustaría salir con la persona que te gusta y cualquier otra persona te molesta.
However, after a while, you’ll see that other people manage to take your mind off your overthinking and troubles.
Habla con alguien
Puedes tener numerosos amigos nuevos, conocidos, compañeros de trabajo con los que vas a comer y personas con las que disfrutas en tu círculo social, pero sólo unas pocas personas en tu vida merecen ser llamadas tus verdaderos amigos.
Of course, you won’t spill your soul out and reveal all of your deepest secrets to everyone in your life, but your best friend is someone you can share your problems with.
Even when you’re at your lowest, knowing that you have someone you can call in the middle of the night and having a person to hold your hand through the dark hours is a true blessing.
Don’t be ashamed of talking about how you feel with this person because wondering how to stop liking a guy or a girl you can’t have is completely normal and something we’ve all experienced at one point.
Además, de esta forma, siempre podrás escuchar valiosos consejos.
Tus buenos amigos te ayudarán a quitarte las gafas de color de rosa, te darán una nueva perspectiva de las cosas y, sin duda, te ayudarán a superar tus sentimientos.
Even if they don’t give you a solution, having someone to hear you out or just sit with you in silence will also ease your pain.
Sin embargo, no conviertas cada reunión en un momento dedicado únicamente a tu pareja.
En cambio, cada vez que salgas con tu mejor amigo, establezca un marco temporal en el que se permita mencionar a esta persona.
Tell them about your progress and about everything that has been on your mind lately, but after the determined period is over, finish any conversation that might include your crush, and don’t go back to it.
Además, algunos consejos sobre citas te dirán que busques ayuda profesional si ves que tienes problemas para ahuyentar tus sentimientos por ti mismo.
However, according to some, liking a person who doesn’t like you back is not so serious, so therapy isn’t necessary.
Nevertheless, if your obsession isn’t coming to its end despite the amount of time which has passed and if you have a habit of falling for people who can’t reciprocate your love, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to examine the behavior patterns connected to your love life with an expert.
After all, professional help can’t cause you any harm.
Céntrate en ti mismo
Uno de los formas de echar a alguien de tu sistema es recanalizar toda la energía que desperdiciaste en ellos hacia ti.
Es invertir todo el tiempo que pasabas rompiéndote la cabeza y pensando en ellos en superarte.
Now that you’re about to stop liking the object of your affection, start liking yourself with the same intensity.
Ponte en primer lugar, siéntete atraído por ti mismo y concéntrate en todo lo bello que hay en tu rostro, en tu cuerpo y en tu personalidad. Haz todo lo que puedas para complacerte.
Instead of wasting another minute on someone who clearly doesn’t want you, start living your life to the fullest and enjoying every single breath you take.
Además, ya va siendo hora de que te respetes a ti mismo y te pongas en primer lugar en tu propia vida.
Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, start noticing your self-worth, and remember that you’re not someone who would settle for anyone’s crumbs of love and attention.
Recuerda que está por debajo de ti perseguir a alguien who obviously doesn’t want to get caught.
Lo último que quieres es humillarte y rogarle a esa persona que te vuelva a gustar.
This is not the end of the world—it is just a new beginning for you!
Volver a las citas
La mayoría de la gente le dirá que la mejor manera de superar un desengaño amoroso es lanzarse a una nueva relación lo antes posible.
Once you get occupied by someone new, you won’t have time, energy or desire to think about this person from your past.
Sin embargo, emprender un nuevo romance también puede ser contraproducente si lo hace sin estar totalmente preparado.
Seguir adelante sin sanar es una forma peligrosa de huir de tus emociones, y puede complicarte la vida aún más.
Además, arrastra a una tercera persona a tu drama, lo que es cualquier cosa menos justo.
A nadie le gusta ser un despechado, y nunca deberías siquiera considerar guiar a alguien y usarlos para ayudarte a curar tu corazón roto.
However, it is one thing if you start a serious relationship, and it is completely different to put yourself out there and flirt with someone new, which is something you should without a doubt do the moment you see you’re up to it.
For the first time, don’t have big expectations—just be open to someone interesting who might cross your path.
Don’t jump from one bed to another because that won’t help you either.
However, don’t run away from the possibility of meeting the one, without being burdened by that idea.
Unless you become ready, don’t tie yourself, and don’t make any promises.
En lugar de eso, disfruta de todas las ventajas de tu soltería y, mientras tanto, flirtea y ten algunas citas para no oxidarte y llenar tu tiempo.
Al fin y al cabo, nunca se sabe lo que puede pasar y adónde te puede llevar la vida.
