Cómo salir de la zona de amigos: 16 métodos que funcionan de verdad

I’m pretty sure that you already know the drill.

You hang out, you feel like there’s this special vibe between you two, and you want to move things to the next level, but unfortunately she sees you only as her good friend (if not best friend).

Sooner than you know, you find yourself stuck in the realm called “sólo amigos” and you have no idea how to get out of there.

The more you’re making effort, paying attention to the little things, and trying to flirt with her, the more she’s friend-zoning you.
(Como ves, he decidido referirme a los varones como víctimas de la friend zone porque estos casos son más frecuentes en ellos).

And yes, there are different types of friend zones (and it’s not that we need more variations of them)!

Puedes quedarte atrapado en la zona de amigos emocionales o en la zona de amigos sexuales.

You know that you’re stuck in an emotional friend zone when you have this amazing bond and share everything with each other, and she feels blessed to have you, but still all she wants from you is to be her close friend.

On the contrary, you know that you’re in the sexual friend zone when you’re being intimate with a girl and that’s pretty much all you do.

Le gusta el contacto físico y  el poder de tensión sexual, but romantic interest from her side simply doesn’t exist.
La zona de amistad sexual se trata de que quieres algo más que sexo.

It’s when you want a romantic relationship with romantic feelings that are reciprocal. It’s when you want to be something more than just a fuck buddy or friend with benefits.

Así que, mientras tú quieres una relación real llena de sentimientos verdaderos o una relación sexual, lo único que ella quiere es un gran amigo que esté a su lado siempre que lo necesite.

But, did you know that women (well, most women) don’t just randomly decide that they will toss you into the friend zone just because you’re a nice guy or they’re in need of a guy friend?

A woman’s (subconscious) decision to put you into the friend zone stems from your words, actions, body language, and even the amount of texting.

Some things that you do (like going out of your way to please her) can be a huge turn off for a woman and that’s when she decides to never see you as anything else than just friends.

Your every move is equally important as your first move and that’s why you should never get too desperate when it comes to letting her know that you’re interested.

Por desesperarse demasiado me refiero a convertirse en un chico que haría cualquier cosa para que una chica se fijara en él y lo viera como una pareja potencial, ya sea una relación romántica o sexual.

Porque a veces, ¡menos es más!

If you want to learn how to get out of the friend zone, you need to learn how to attract women like a boss (and I’m not only talking about dating advice on the first date).

Así que aquí tienes una lista de métodos que te ayudarán a salir de la zona de amigos y evitarán que vuelvas a ella.

CÓMO SALIR DE LA ZONA DE AMIGOS: 16 MÉTODOS QUE FUNCIONAN DE VERDAD
1. Accept the fact that you’re being friend-zoned

A lot of times I’ve seen guys behaving like the problem is in the girl and not them.

They aren’t even aware that they’re being friend-zoned in the first place, so they continue hoping that one day this girl they’re so crazy about will wake up and realize what a great man they are and that she was so stupidly blind all this time to realize that.

Deep down in your heart, I know you know that this isn’t true. And you know what they say?

El primer paso para afrontar el problema es aceptarlo.

So, what you need to do is accept the fact that you’re indeed being friend-zoned and nothing will change unless you decide to change the game!

Accept the fact that for some reason(s) she’s seeing you as her friend only, and all your flirty gestures, spending time with only her, or constantly maintaining intense eye contact will simply be in vain. So stop repeating the same drill.

Wake up and realize that the only time something will change is when you accept the fact that you’re being friend-zoned and start doing something about it!

Véase también: 8 señales alarmantes de que su relación se dirige hacia La Friendzone

2. Deja de hacerte la víctima y de compadecerte de ti mismo

You know what’s even worse than being in the friend zone? It’s when you’re in the friend zone and once you realize it, you start playing the victim or start feeling sorry for yourself.

This includes making her feel bad about friend-zoning you, reminding her of all of your good qualities, reminding her of how ungrateful she is for everything you’ve done for her, and the like.

Nada de esto cambiará la situación. Te lo puedo garantizar. ¿Y sabes por qué?

Because women don’t like weak men who perceive rejection as if it’s the end of the world.

They don’t like men who go to extremes only to accentuate how miserable they are just because a woman isn’t into them – just because she’s not into you.

They like men who know what they want, what they’re doing, and how to get what they want. They want men who know cómo conseguir novia. Así que, ¡sé ese hombre!

Véase también: 16 señales evidentes de que tu amigo siente algo por ti

3. Deja de obsesionarte con ella

If you want to learn how to get out of the friend zone, the number one thing you need to do is stop obsessing over her or overanalyzing why she doesn’t te considero material de novio¡! Esto incluye pensar, fantasear y soñar despierto con ella a diario. 

I know that it’s natural for a human being to start obsessing over someone they’re really into, but it’s not healthy in the long run!

Because this obsessive behavior will lead you to making her your only priority, which is the main reason for many mistakes you’ve probably made so far.

Así que, en lugar de pensar constantemente en ella, ¡debes centrarte en ti mismo!

You need to focus on your life and do things that you enjoy. You need to do it in order to distract your mind from falling into the “eternal friend zone” trap.

The more you enjoy your own life and pay attention to other things apart from only her, the happier you’ll be. And she’ll

also see you as a man who is passionate about life and who knows what he’s doing!

4. Deja de llamarla y enviarle mensajes de texto

If you send her one text and she doesn’t respond immediately, don’t send another and then another until she finally decides to reply.

And don’t call your mutual friends to ask them about what’s going on in her life and demand reasons why she hasn’t texted or called you yet.

La regla de oro que nunca debes olvidar es: ¡Deja de llamarla y mandarle mensajes!

One or even a few texts per day are okay, but typing her every minute about every single thing that’s happening in your life is absurd.

Also, stop liking and commenting on her every picture on social media like you’re keeping all the tabs of her every profile open only to be the first one to hit the like button.

If you keep doing this, she will keep putting you into the friend zone because she’ll not be attracted to a man who is, let’s say, desperate or obsessed over her.

5. Convertirse en un reto

Al igual que a los hombres, a las mujeres también les encantan los chicos desafiantes.

Es decir, a nadie le gusta estar con alguien que le pone constantemente en un pedestal y se desvive constantemente por ganarse su atención, resolver todos sus problemas y hacer básicamente todo por él.

Así que, en lugar de ser ese tipo, tienes que convertirte en un hombre que suponga un reto. ¿Y cómo te conviertes en uno?

Well, challenging men don’t give their women everything at once. They make an effort, but to a certain extent, and they give their women everything bit by bit.

They don’t suffocate a woman with affection. They give her space to sense the challenge and feel like she’s the one winning him over with her qualities and personality.

Women want to feel special and that’s why they need to know that you’re not just some random guy around the block.

They need to know that you’re a challenge, that you’re a man worthy of being in their life!

Véase también: 13 maneras sencillas de excitar a una mujer y ponerla de buen humor

6. Ser misterioso

Una de las cosas más importantes a las que debes prestar especial atención es al mantenimiento del misterio.

Why? Because mystery is your best friend. There isn’t a single woman in the world – or to be more precise, a single human being on earth who doesn’t like the charms of mystery.

We’re all drawn to things we don’t know much about, and therefore, we want to learn more about that certain person or thing.

Si quieres salir de la zona de amigos, tendrás que poner esto en práctica cuanto antes en tu vida amorosa. ¿Cómo?

By not telling her everything that’s on your mind, not revealing every single detail about your life, or giving her the information of your whereabouts every single second. Mystery creates desire.

When she sees that you have your own life and Lord knows how many exciting things are happening at the moment, and you’re giving her details bit by bit about everything, she’ll want more.

She’ll want to be with a guy who leaves her wanting more! So be that guy.

7. Dale la oportunidad de echarte de menos

Many people think that if they spend as much time as possible with someone they’re crazy about, they will win their sympathies (or jump into their pants). But, believe it or not, the truth is otherwise!

The more time you spend with her, the more she’ll lose interest in you as a romantic interest and the more you’ll be at risk of her putting you into that cruel friend zone.

And you don’t want that, right? So, what you need to do is give her the opportunity to miss you!

And you’ll do that by not spending all of your free time with her, and by giving her some space and time to think about you and miss you.

You’ll do that by not being there for her 24/7 (unless something’s really important), because they say that people fall in love with another person’s absence and not presence.

8. Deja de mostrar signos de celos

I understand the fact that when you really like someone, it’s almost impossible to not show any sign of jealousy when something bothers you about them.

But, it’s exactly what you shouldn’t do, no matter what, if you don’t want to stay forever stuck in the friend zone.

When she’s talking with or about other men, or when you hear people gossiping about her and some peculiar matters, don’t show any sign of jealousy. You really don’t want to be that man.

You don’t want her to see that you can easily get jealous, because this is not an attractive trait to have and it’ll tell her that you’re obsessing over her.

Remember what we said about mystery? You need to let her know that you’re not jealous, whether you’re leading her to believe you’re not that interested in her, or just that you’re a confident man and you have no jealousy issues.

This will make her think hard about the real reason why you’re not jealous like other men usually are. (And perhaps she will try even harder to get close to you so that she finally sees what’s really going on.)

9. Estar tranquilo y relajado

Whatever happens, do not act on impulse. Instead, stay calm and relaxed because that will tell her that you’re strong inside, which is a trait of every confident man.

Quieres que ella vea que sabes controlar tus emociones, un indicador de todo hombre emocionalmente maduro.

Y, créeme, ¡las mujeres quieren estar con hombres emocionalmente maduros!

Women can’t help but fall for men who know how to stay calm even in the middle of the hurricane. It tells them that such men are capable, flexible, and always know how to make the best of a situation.

10. Deja de desvivirte por ella

Cuando te dice que necesita que alguien le compre cuanto antes el esmalte de uñas para que haga juego con su vestido, ¿corres inmediatamente a la tienda y lo haces por ella?

Cuando te dice que necesita a alguien que pinte su casa, ¿te conviertes al instante en el mejor pintor de la ciudad?

If yes, then you’ve been doing it all wrong and that’s probably the reason why you ended up being in the friend zone in the first place.

Y ahora, para salir de ella, tienes que dejar de desvivirte por hacer cosas por ella, por mucho que te apetezca y la quieras.

This doesn’t mean that you should never help her with anything.

It just means that you should go about it moderately, like a gentleman who also has his own life and obligations, and who can’t jump on her every word whenever she wants it.

11. Stop acting like you’re her friend

Una de las principales razones por las que las mujeres tienden a friendzone hombres es porque estos hombres están realmente actuando de esa manera hacia ellos.

They think if they get closer to them, do everything for them (including helping her pick a dress or buy a perfume), they’ll immediately be more interested in something more serious or at least consider them as their future partner in bed or in a relationship.

By acting like you’re her friend, you’re literally telling her that she should see you that way because you’re that kind of guy – an overly friendly kind of guy.

Well, don’t be overly friendly because such guys don’t get laid, Such guys don’t end up being in a relationship.

En lugar de eso, sé el hombre seguro de sí mismo con una dosis de misterio y pasión. Sé lo contrario.

12. Stop being a “Yes man”

Whenever she’s talking to you about something that happened recently in her life, do you just politely nod without giving her any feedback or even insight into your opinion regarding the matter?

Whenever she’s proposing a new activity or a new place that you two should visit, do you just say: Yes, we should totally do that!

If that’s the case, then stop being a “yes man” – it’s not bringing you anything good.

Women are attracted to men who aren’t afraid to contradict them when they disagree on something.

A las mujeres les atraen los hombres que saben cuándo decir que no y se atienen a ello.

Men who have their own opinion instead of blindly following other people’s agendas and obeying the rules as if they’re merely a servant.

So, stop being a “yes man” and find the courage to politely say what you really think and be who you really are!

13. Cuidado con revelar tus sentimientos

If you tell a woman that you’re really crazy about her and you simply can’t help but think about her and her only, she’s going to either run away from you or just put you aside onto the friend zone pile.

Así que ten cuidado al revelar tus sentimientos.

You don’t want to scare her off with the amount of your affection for her. You don’t want to overwhelm her with your declarations of love too soon.

Si quieres hacerle saber cómo te sientes, tienes que hacerlo de forma más sutil.

En lugar de decirle exactamente lo que sientes por ella, intenta elogiándola or doing something else that’ll show her you might be interested in her.

But, most importantly, make sure it doesn’t confirm it! When it comes to women, uncertainty is your friend!

14. Trabaja en ti mismo

A man who takes care of his body and mind is a man who knows how to take care of himself. That’s why it’s important to constantly work on your self-improvement.

Ir al gimnasio, comer sano y alcanzar ciertos objetivos en la vida.

Working on yourself will tell her that you’re an ambitious man who knows what he wants and how to get it too. (And, trust me, there’s nothing sexier than that!)

15. Elevar el nivel de exigencia

Define lo que realmente quieres hacer en la vida y cíñete a ello. Define tus objetivos y tus sueños.

Define what is that you really want from a girl, a potential relationship, and the like. And once you define it, don’t settle for anything less.

This will turn you into a powerful man who’s assured in what he’s doing.

¡Un hombre con el que toda mujer quiere estar! ¡Y definitivamente te sacará de la zona de amigos!

16. ¡Disfruta de la vida!

While you’re implementing all the above-mentioned signs into your life, don’t forget to enjoy the process!

Don’t forget to enjoy life because this will help you maintain a positive attitude toward all of life’s challenges and tests.

And it’ll tell her that you sure as hell know how to have fun and that your world is an exciting place to be.

Once she sees that, she will want to be a part of that world. Your world. She’ll want to be with a man who is exciting, confident, mysterious, and relaxed.

She’ll want to be with a man who is neither overly friendly nor overly distant. A man who knows how to atraer a una mujer.

She’ll want to be with you!

Véase también: Los 15 mejores consejos para seducir a la chica que quieras