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How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone: 16 Methods That Actually Work

How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone: 16 Methods That Actually Work

I’m pretty sure that you already know the drill.

You hang out, you feel like there’s this special vibe between you two, and you want to move things to the next level, but unfortunately she sees you only as her good friend (if not best friend).

Sooner than you know, you find yourself stuck in the realm called “just friends” and you have no idea how to get out of there.

The more you’re making effort, paying attention to the little things, and trying to flirt with her, the more she’s friend-zoning you.
(As you can see, I decided to refer to males being the victim of the friend zone because such cases are more frequent in males.)

And yes, there are different types of friend zones (and it’s not that we need more variations of them)!

You can be stuck in the emotional friend zone or the sexual friend zone.

You know that you’re stuck in an emotional friend zone when you have this amazing bond and share everything with each other, and she feels blessed to have you, but still all she wants from you is to be her close friend.

On the contrary, you know that you’re in the sexual friend zone when you’re being intimate with a girl and that’s pretty much all you do.

You enjoy physical contact and  the power of sexual tension, but romantic interest from her side simply doesn’t exist.
The sexual friend zone is about you wanting more than just sex.

It’s when you want a romantic relationship with romantic feelings that are reciprocal. It’s when you want to be something more than just a fuck buddy or friend with benefits.

So, while you want a real relationship filled with true feelings or a sexual relationship, all she wants is a great friend that will be there for her whenever she needs him.

But, did you know that women (well, most women) don’t just randomly decide that they will toss you into the friend zone just because you’re a nice guy or they’re in need of a guy friend?

A woman’s (subconscious) decision to put you into the friend zone stems from your words, actions, body language, and even the amount of texting.

Some things that you do (like going out of your way to please her) can be a huge turn off for a woman and that’s when she decides to never see you as anything else than just friends.

Your every move is equally important as your first move and that’s why you should never get too desperate when it comes to letting her know that you’re interested.

By getting too desperate, I mean turning into a guy who would do anything and everything for a girl to notice him and see him as a potential partner, be it a romantic relationship or sexual relationship.

Because sometimes, less is more!

If you want to learn how to get out of the friend zone, you need to learn how to attract women like a boss (and I’m not only talking about dating advice on the first date).

So, here is the list of methods that will both help you get out of the friend zone and prevent you from ever getting back there!

1. Accept the fact that you’re being friend-zoned

A lot of times I’ve seen guys behaving like the problem is in the girl and not them.

They aren’t even aware that they’re being friend-zoned in the first place, so they continue hoping that one day this girl they’re so crazy about will wake up and realize what a great man they are and that she was so stupidly blind all this time to realize that.

Deep down in your heart, I know you know that this isn’t true. And you know what they say?

The first step to dealing with the problem is accepting it first!

So, what you need to do is accept the fact that you’re indeed being friend-zoned and nothing will change unless you decide to change the game!

Accept the fact that for some reason(s) she’s seeing you as her friend only, and all your flirty gestures, spending time with only her, or constantly maintaining intense eye contact will simply be in vain. So stop repeating the same drill.

Wake up and realize that the only time something will change is when you accept the fact that you’re being friend-zoned and start doing something about it!

See also: 8 Alarming Signs Your Relationship Is Heading Toward The Friendzone

2. Stop playing the victim and feeling sorry for yourself

You know what’s even worse than being in the friend zone? It’s when you’re in the friend zone and once you realize it, you start playing the victim or start feeling sorry for yourself.

This includes making her feel bad about friend-zoning you, reminding her of all of your good qualities, reminding her of how ungrateful she is for everything you’ve done for her, and the like.

None of this will change the situation. I can guarantee you that. And you know why?

Because women don’t like weak men who perceive rejection as if it’s the end of the world.

They don’t like men who go to extremes only to accentuate how miserable they are just because a woman isn’t into them – just because she’s not into you.

They like men who know what they want, what they’re doing, and how to get what they want. They want men who know how to get a girlfriend. So, be that man!

See also: 16 Obvious Signs Your Male Friend Has Feelings For You

3. Stop obsessing over her

If you want to learn how to get out of the friend zone, the number one thing you need to do is stop obsessing over her or overanalyzing why she doesn’t consider you boyfriend material! This includes thinking, fantasizing, and daydreaming about her on a daily basis. 

I know that it’s natural for a human being to start obsessing over someone they’re really into, but it’s not healthy in the long run!

Because this obsessive behavior will lead you to making her your only priority, which is the main reason for many mistakes you’ve probably made so far.

So, instead of constantly thinking about her, you need to focus on yourself!

You need to focus on your life and do things that you enjoy. You need to do it in order to distract your mind from falling into the “eternal friend zone” trap.

The more you enjoy your own life and pay attention to other things apart from only her, the happier you’ll be. And she’ll

also see you as a man who is passionate about life and who knows what he’s doing!

4. Stop over-calling and texting her

If you send her one text and she doesn’t respond immediately, don’t send another and then another until she finally decides to reply.

And don’t call your mutual friends to ask them about what’s going on in her life and demand reasons why she hasn’t texted or called you yet.

The golden rule that you should never forget is: Stop over-calling and texting her!

One or even a few texts per day are okay, but typing her every minute about every single thing that’s happening in your life is absurd.

Also, stop liking and commenting on her every picture on social media like you’re keeping all the tabs of her every profile open only to be the first one to hit the like button.

If you keep doing this, she will keep putting you into the friend zone because she’ll not be attracted to a man who is, let’s say, desperate or obsessed over her.

5. Become challenging

Just like men, women also love guys who are challenging.

I mean, no one enjoys being with someone who constantly puts them on a pedestal and constantly goes out of their way to win their attention, solve their every problem, and do basically everything for them.

So, instead of being that guy, you need to become a man who is a challenge. And how do you become one?

Well, challenging men don’t give their women everything at once. They make an effort, but to a certain extent, and they give their women everything bit by bit.

They don’t suffocate a woman with affection. They give her space to sense the challenge and feel like she’s the one winning him over with her qualities and personality.

Women want to feel special and that’s why they need to know that you’re not just some random guy around the block.

They need to know that you’re a challenge, that you’re a man worthy of being in their life!

See also: 13 Simple Ways To Turn A Woman On And Get Her In The Mood

6. Be mysterious

One of the most important things you need to pay special attention to is maintaining the mystery.

Why? Because mystery is your best friend. There isn’t a single woman in the world – or to be more precise, a single human being on earth who doesn’t like the charms of mystery.

We’re all drawn to things we don’t know much about, and therefore, we want to learn more about that certain person or thing.

If you want to get out of the friend zone, you will have to implement this ASAP into your love life. How?

By not telling her everything that’s on your mind, not revealing every single detail about your life, or giving her the information of your whereabouts every single second. Mystery creates desire.

When she sees that you have your own life and Lord knows how many exciting things are happening at the moment, and you’re giving her details bit by bit about everything, she’ll want more.

She’ll want to be with a guy who leaves her wanting more! So be that guy.

7. Give her the opportunity to miss you

Many people think that if they spend as much time as possible with someone they’re crazy about, they will win their sympathies (or jump into their pants). But, believe it or not, the truth is otherwise!

The more time you spend with her, the more she’ll lose interest in you as a romantic interest and the more you’ll be at risk of her putting you into that cruel friend zone.

And you don’t want that, right? So, what you need to do is give her the opportunity to miss you!

And you’ll do that by not spending all of your free time with her, and by giving her some space and time to think about you and miss you.

You’ll do that by not being there for her 24/7 (unless something’s really important), because they say that people fall in love with another person’s absence and not presence.

8. Stop showing signs of jealousy

I understand the fact that when you really like someone, it’s almost impossible to not show any sign of jealousy when something bothers you about them.

But, it’s exactly what you shouldn’t do, no matter what, if you don’t want to stay forever stuck in the friend zone.

When she’s talking with or about other men, or when you hear people gossiping about her and some peculiar matters, don’t show any sign of jealousy. You really don’t want to be that man.

You don’t want her to see that you can easily get jealous, because this is not an attractive trait to have and it’ll tell her that you’re obsessing over her.

Remember what we said about mystery? You need to let her know that you’re not jealous, whether you’re leading her to believe you’re not that interested in her, or just that you’re a confident man and you have no jealousy issues.

This will make her think hard about the real reason why you’re not jealous like other men usually are. (And perhaps she will try even harder to get close to you so that she finally sees what’s really going on.)

9. Be calm and relaxed

Whatever happens, do not act on impulse. Instead, stay calm and relaxed because that will tell her that you’re strong inside, which is a trait of every confident man.

You want her to see that you know how to control your emotions, an indicator of every emotionally mature man.

And, trust me, women want to be with men who are emotionally mature!

Women can’t help but fall for men who know how to stay calm even in the middle of the hurricane. It tells them that such men are capable, flexible, and always know how to make the best of a situation.

10. Stop going out of your way to do things for her

When she tells you that she needs someone to buy her nail polish ASAP in order to match her dress, do you immediately run to the store and do it for her?

When she says that she needs someone to paint her house, do you instantly turn into the best painter in town?

If yes, then you’ve been doing it all wrong and that’s probably the reason why you ended up being in the friend zone in the first place.

And now, to get out of it, you need to stop going out of your way to do things for her, no matter how much you want to and want her.

This doesn’t mean that you should never help her with anything.

It just means that you should go about it moderately, like a gentleman who also has his own life and obligations, and who can’t jump on her every word whenever she wants it.

11. Stop acting like you’re her friend

One of the biggest reasons why women tend to friend zone men is because these men are actually acting that way toward them.

They think if they get closer to them, do everything for them (including helping her pick a dress or buy a perfume), they’ll immediately be more interested in something more serious or at least consider them as their future partner in bed or in a relationship.

By acting like you’re her friend, you’re literally telling her that she should see you that way because you’re that kind of guy – an overly friendly kind of guy.

Well, don’t be overly friendly because such guys don’t get laid, Such guys don’t end up being in a relationship.

Instead, be the man who is confident in himself with a dose of mystery and passion. Be the opposite.

12. Stop being a “Yes man”

Whenever she’s talking to you about something that happened recently in her life, do you just politely nod without giving her any feedback or even insight into your opinion regarding the matter?

Whenever she’s proposing a new activity or a new place that you two should visit, do you just say: Yes, we should totally do that!

If that’s the case, then stop being a “yes man” – it’s not bringing you anything good.

Women are attracted to men who aren’t afraid to contradict them when they disagree on something.

Women are attracted to men who know when to say no and stick to it.

Men who have their own opinion instead of blindly following other people’s agendas and obeying the rules as if they’re merely a servant.

So, stop being a “yes man” and find the courage to politely say what you really think and be who you really are!

13. Be careful about revealing your feelings

If you tell a woman that you’re really crazy about her and you simply can’t help but think about her and her only, she’s going to either run away from you or just put you aside onto the friend zone pile.

So, be careful about revealing your feelings.

You don’t want to scare her off with the amount of your affection for her. You don’t want to overwhelm her with your declarations of love too soon.

If you want to let her know how you feel, you need to do it more subtly.

Instead of telling her exactly how you feel about her, try complimenting her or doing something else that’ll show her you might be interested in her.

But, most importantly, make sure it doesn’t confirm it! When it comes to women, uncertainty is your friend!

14. Work on yourself

A man who takes care of his body and mind is a man who knows how to take care of himself. That’s why it’s important to constantly work on your self-improvement.

Hit the gym, eat healthy food, and achieve certain goals in life.

Working on yourself will tell her that you’re an ambitious man who knows what he wants and how to get it too. (And, trust me, there’s nothing sexier than that!)

15. Raise your standards

Define what you really want to do in life and stick to it. Define your goals and dreams.

Define what is that you really want from a girl, a potential relationship, and the like. And once you define it, don’t settle for anything less.

This will turn you into a powerful man who’s assured in what he’s doing.

A man who every woman wants to be with! And it will most definitely get you out of the friend zone!

16. Enjoy life!

While you’re implementing all the above-mentioned signs into your life, don’t forget to enjoy the process!

Don’t forget to enjoy life because this will help you maintain a positive attitude toward all of life’s challenges and tests.

And it’ll tell her that you sure as hell know how to have fun and that your world is an exciting place to be.

Once she sees that, she will want to be a part of that world. Your world. She’ll want to be with a man who is exciting, confident, mysterious, and relaxed.

She’ll want to be with a man who is neither overly friendly nor overly distant. A man who knows how to attract a woman.

She’ll want to be with you!

See also: Top 15 Tips On How To Seduce Any Girl You Want