"Si amas a alguien, déjalo marchar": ¿deberías hacerlo?
How many times have you heard the phrase, ‘If you love someone, let them go?’ Your best friend probably told you this line if your ex rompió contigo últimamente o si tu relación está llegando a su fin.
¿Qué significa este tópico? Al fin y al cabo, lo sabes muy bien, mucha gente te lo repite solo para consolarte.
They’re probably worried about your heartbreak and mental health, and are ready to say practically everything just to make you feel better. You’re thankful, but for you, this line makes no sense at all.
If you care for someone – your best friend, family member, or a romantic partner – you want them by your side as much as possible, isn’t that right? In fact, you’ll do everything in your power to keep them next to you, won’t you?
Looking at things from this perspective, the phrase, ‘If you truly love someone, let them go’, makes absolutely no sense.
Well, I’m here to change your mind.
If you read on, you’ll realize why this seemingly simple line is actually one of the most valuable lessons you can aprender sobre el amor. Not only that: you’ll also finally understand its true meaning.
Why Do They Say ‘If You Love Someone, Let Them Go?’
The main concept of the saying, ‘If you love someone, let them go,’ is that you can’t lose what was never yours. At the same time, you can’t keep someone who isn’t truly yours either.
Básicamente, cuando dejas ir a la persona que te importa profundamente, le das libre albedrío. Si vuelven a ti son realmente el uno para el otro. On the other hand, if they don’t – they were never yours in the first place.
Nevertheless, there is much more to this famous line. Here are some of the reasons why it’s a sentence that should guide you through life.
El verdadero amor es desinteresado
It’s actually pretty simple: when you love someone, you want them to be happy – with or without you. At least, that’s what amor verdadero se trata. O de lo que debería tratarse.
Así que, cuando ames a alguien, déjalo ir. Dale su libertad y déjale ser.
I know many people haven’t experienced something like this. To be honest, I had trouble accepting this notion as well.
After all, when you’re into someone, let alone when you love them (and are in a romantic relationship with them), you want them by your side at all times. You’re a un poco posesivo and you can’t stand the mere idea of them giving their attention to someone else.
Whether we like to admit it or not, this is how most of us act when we fall in love. Well, I hate to be the one to break your bubble, but guess what: this is not your heart talking, it’s your ego.
You couldn’t face the fact that you’ve been replaced by someone better than you – that’s why you hold on to your partner so tightly.
Tu autoestima se arruinaría en pedazos, y pensarías que el hecho de que te dejen no es igual a tú eres suficiente. What’s that besides your ego?
On the other hand, true love is completely selfless. You want only what’s best for your loved one, even if that doesn’t include you.
And, that’s exactly what you’ll learn if you let go of the one you love.
You’ll know where you stand
Uncertainty is one of the worst feelings in the world. And no, I’m not talking about the good kind that includes anticipation of something good and exciting that’s about to happen.
In your case, uncertainty means not knowing where you stand. This is a hard pill to swallow, but the truth is that you doubt your partner’s feelings.
One day, it seems like you’re the love of their life. But, soon after that, everything changes.
You can’t help but wonder if they’re playing juegos fríos y calientes o they just don’t care about you. Or maybe, the love they’re feeling is real, but it’s not enough?
Basically, your biggest fear is this person leaving you. You live in constant agony that one of these days, you’ll wake up and they will be gone.
You know what’s the best way to chase away your fears? That’s right – to look them deeply in the eyes and face them with all the courage you can muster.
People say “If you love someone, let them go” exactly because of this. Instead of waiting for the other person to leave you behind, why wouldn’t you forestall them and let them go first?
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not claiming that volverán. The truth is that, maybe, you won’t get the outcome you’re hoping for.
But hey, at least you’ll know where you stand, and that’s always better than these doubts that have been bothering you.
Reforzará su vínculo
Por supuesto, hay muchas posibilidades de que vuelvan. Usted puede libéralos, but maybe they’ll refuse to go in the first place.
In that case, you can be sure that this experience will make your bond stronger than ever before. You’ll prove to each other that your love is real and one of a kind.
First and foremost, you’ll prove to your loved one that you love them even more than you love yourself. For you, their happiness comes first, and it’s even more important than yours.
You’re not some possessive jerk who wants them for yourself at all costs. You’re giving them their liberty, and you don’t want to force them into being with you in any way possible.
No manipulación emocional, no blackmails, no begging – you’re giving them freedom of choice. And, what bigger proof of love can someone wish for?
On the other hand, they’re showing you the depth of their emotions as well. They choose to stay next to you despite all of this mentioned above.
You haven’t put them in chains and you haven’t tied them to you in any way possible. But, despite that, they came back to you because they realized you’re the one.
Trust me – if you get your ex back like this without pressure, deceptions, and games, there is no doubt about one thing: this is just pure love.
You’ll stop being emotionally codependent
I don’t care how in love you and your partner are – being overly dependent on one another is never healthy. You know what I’m talking about: about those relationships where your partner becomes the center of your world.
Por supuesto, todo depende de su estilo de fijaciónPero volverse emocionalmente dependiente en una relación romántica es más común de lo que se piensa.
I’m talking about the relationships where you cease to exist without them next to you. You’re literally addicted to them, and when they’re not around, everything becomes pointless and it’s like your entire life has no sense.
I’m not saying that this will happen to you, but a common scenario in these kinds of situations is one person taking advantage of the other. The moment your partner notices that you can’t live without them is the moment they realize you won’t stop loving them no matter how they treat you.
Además, codependencia emocional te hace perderte a ti mismo. Te arrebata tu personalidad y te priva por completo de tu independencia.
Well, the most efficient way to avoid this is to let go of the person you’re addicted to. Yes, it’s an incredibly difficult step to take, but it will help you not to be so emotionally dependent.
Tus inseguridades desaparecerán
Along with emotional dependency come self-confidence problems. We’ve already established that you think you’re worth nothing without your partner.
Naturalmente, ves a todos los que te rodean como tu competencia. Los ves como una amenaza y como alguien por quien tu pareja podría dejarte.
Even though they never told you this directly, you feel like you’re not enough in this relationship. You’re convinced that your partner can do better than you, and this fear paralyzes you.
So, what’s my piece of advice? Should you cling to them even harder? Should you hold them as if your life depended on them?
En absoluto. Déjalos ir y verás cómo tus inseguridades desaparecen en un abrir y cerrar de ojos.
Once they come back to you, you’ll understand that you’ve been the one they’ve wanted all along. Just imagine this scenario: you give them all the freedom in the world and they could choose whoever they wanted.
But, what did they do? They came back to the only person they ever loved – you.
Su ex te quiere and only you, and they’ve made it very clear. Whose confidence wouldn’t skyrocket under these circumstances?
It’s a chance for a new beginning
Let’s get one thing straight here: there is a possibility of your loved one never coming back – I won’t lie to you about it. But, even if that happens, is it the end of the world?
It most certainly isn’t. Actually, it can be a great chance for a fresh start.
Now that you know where you stand, you have no other option but to accept your faith. Now that you’ve let this person go, you have no other option but to seguir adelante con tu vida.
En lugar de ver esto como lo peor que podría haber pasado, míralo como un acto de Dios. Él te liberó de alguien que claramente no estaba destinado a ser tuyo.
Besides, the most important thing is that you gave your best. Most importantly: you weren’t too clingy and you didn’t force anyone estar contigo.
At the end of the day, it’s their loss – not yours.
¿Cómo dejar marchar a alguien aunque le ames?
If you love something, let it go. Easier said than done, am I right? After reading the previous passage, you know why it’s the best thing you can do in every life situation.
Nevertheless, nobody has taught you how to actually do it. Well, that’s about to change.
Sé que dejar ir a la persona que te importa profundamente is one of the most devastating things you’ll ever have to do in life. I know it because I’ve been there.
There was a point in my life when I had to give up the other person for their own good, and most importantly – for my own well-being and the essence of my own life. Long story short, it was one of the hardest things I had to do.
Pero, mirando las cosas desde esta distancia temporal, sigo pensando que era algo que había que hacer. Estos son los consejos que me ayudaron a atravesar este angustioso periodo de mi vida:
Remember you don’t possess people
First and foremost, you must always keep in mind that you don’t possess people. Actually, no one does.
Your partner chose to be with you (sometimes for a certain amount of time; sometimes for the rest of your life), but that doesn’t make them your property. Of course, it goes both ways.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not talking about jealousy here only. You’re just a human being, and it’s perfectly natural that you can’t stay indifferent to the possibility of your significant other having an affair.
I’m talking about possessiveness. We’re all guilty of it to some extent, and it’s time you ditch it.
Let’s be clear here: nobody can STEAL a human being from you. You don’t own them and they’re not yours to keep.
You can’t tie them to yourself, and there is absolutely nothing you can do if they want out. Basically, you have no other choice but to let them go.
Separación emocional / desapego mental
Everything that you feel happens inside of you – in your heart and head. Yes, different things happening in the outside world have a huge impact on your emotions and thoughts, but at the end of the day, what counts is how you process everything around you.
Por lo tanto, antes de dar el paso de dejar ir realmente a su ser querido, tiene que emprender un proceso de separación emocional y desapego mental.
No, I’m not telling you to suddenly start avoiding them or to drastically change your behavior. It’s still not the time to block them on social media or to go absolutely no contact.
El desapego emocional y mental consiste en distanciarte de esa persona en tu mente y en tu corazón. Para empezar, deja de imaginaros a los dos exclusivamente como una unión.
Yes, you’re a team, but that doesn’t mean you’re not two separate individuals.
A continuación, intenta imaginar tu futuro sin ellos. Duele, lo sé, pero nunca se sabe lo que puede pasar.
Deja de asumir que estarán en tu vida para siempre. En lugar de eso, imagínate sin ellos a tu lado.
Start getting used to this image. Believe me – it hurts like hell the first time you do it, but later on, it becomes a lot easier.
Autopriorización y autocuidado
We’ve already talked about emotional dependency. Well, this is the step in which you do everything in your power to overcome it.
First and foremost, lose the idea that your world revolves around this one person – it doesn’t. Actually, the only one who is the center of your Universe is you, and you better start looking at things like that.
Remember that the most significant relationship you have is the one with yourself. You’re tu propia prioridad número uno y nadie puede ocupar tu lugar.
¿Por qué es importante? Bueno, si consideras que tu SO es tu Sol, nunca podrás dejarle marchar.
They’re the one giving meaning to your life and the one making your existence valuable. Nobody is strong enough to leave their purpose behind, I guarantee you that.
But, if you turn the tables and realize that you’re the lead role in this movie and that they’re only a part of your life, it hits you: you’re the only person you can’t live without. Everyone else is replaceable.
Algunas personas no están destinadas a ser
I don’t know if you’re a spiritual person, but I strongly believe that some people are no debe ser. You can do everything by the book, you can be the perfect girlfriend / boyfriend, but sometimes, you won’t get the happily ever after that you’ve been expecting.
It’s not you and it’s not them – it’s just how real life works. Some people were sent to you as valiosas lecciones y algunos te necesitaban para seguir adelante.
Either way, the point is that you weren’t each other’s final destinations – you were just stops along the way. You weren’t soulmates tanto como tú pensabas de otra manera.
Once you understand that, then letting go will become much easier. I’m not saying your heartbreak will magically stop, but you’ll definitely feel better when you realize that this is how things were scripted from day one.
Si amas algo, déjalo ir Cita
I’m sure you’ve run into an ‘If you love someone, let them go’ quote before. If you have, you know that they’re not your usual romantic love quotes.
Esta es la lista de las citas más inspiradoras sobre el tema. Cada una de ellas te hará reflexionar y, con un poco de suerte, te ayudará a comprender el verdadero significado de este dicho.
1. “Learning to let go should be learned before learning to get. Life should be touched, not strangled. You’ve got to relax, let it happen at times, and at others, move forward with it. It’s like boats. You keep your motor on so you can steer with the current. And, when you hear the sound of the waterfall coming nearer and nearer, tidy up the boat, put on your best tie and hat, and smoke a cigar right up till the moment you go over. That’s a triumph.” ― Ray Bradbury
2. “If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don’t, they never were.” ― Kahlil Gibran
3. “If you truly love someone, then the only thing you want for them is to be happy. Even if it’s not for you.” ― Author Unknown
4. “If you love someone, let them go. If they return to you, it was meant to be. If they don’t, their love was never to begin with.” ― Author Unknown
5. “They say when you really love someone, you should be willing to set them free. So, that is what I am doing. I will step back and you will seguir adelante. I will let you go… Your happiness means everything to me. I will listen for your voice in the distance. I will look at the moon. I will keep you in my pocket. I will carry your smile with me everywhere like a warm and comforting glow.” ― Tabitha Suzuma
6. “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re yours; if they don’t, they never were.” ― Richard Bach
7. “Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” ― Ann Landers
8. “Why do you give so much of yourself to a person? Does this person really need it? Isn’t it a contradiction of life that when you love someone so much that you overwhelm them with too much of yourself? You want to spend more time with this person. You want to keep messaging this person. You want to know what they are doing every minute of their life! If you truly love someone, then you should set them free. Give them the freedom to be themself!” ― Avijeet Das
9. “Love is always bestowed as a gift – freely, willingly, and without expectation. We don’t love to be loved; we love to love.” ― Leo Buscaglia
10. “To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be. When we let go with compassion, things come and go on their own.” ― Jack Kornfield
11. “There’s something about the act of letting go that may bring tears to the eyes, but at the same time, what was being held on to so long can now be released where we then become capable of exhaling.” ― Jason Micheal Ratliff
12. “Some birds are not meant to be caged, that’s all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So, you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them, they somehow fly out past you. And, the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.” ― Stephen King
13. “All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.” ― Havelock Ellis
14. “Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.” ― Deborah Reber
15. “True love doesn’t have a happy ending because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you.” ― Author Unknown
16. “If you love someone
Que lo sepan y que se vayan
If it’s meant to be, they’ll find you again or maybe the other way around
Nunca se sabe
You never really know.” ― Mayank Sharma
17. “Dad used to say if you love someone, let them go. I don’t agree with him. If you really love someone, I think you have to take them back.”― Caroline George, Dearest Josephin
18. “Whoever said if you love someone, you should set them free?
They don’t know shit about you and me
‘Cause I won’t let you go, no, I won’t let you go
Quien dijo que estaba destinado a ser, pero vuelves enseguida
We ain’t never gonna find out about that” ― The Script
19. “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.” ― Author Unknown
20. “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. And, if it just sits there on the sofa watching TV, unaware that it has been set free, you probably married it or gave birth to it.” ― Harsh Goenka
21. “If you love someone, set them free. If you hate someone, set them free. Basically, set everyone free and adopt a dog.” ― Author Unknown
