Comprender el verdadero valor del amor cambiará su vida

Love is one of the most precious things in this world – nobody can argue against that. Even if you are currently heartbroken and disappointed, I know that deep down, you’re perfectly aware that the value of love is great and magnificent.

Love is not always simple, but it is splendid and glorious. It’s the most intense feeling in the world, and whether you like to admit it or not, it’s one of the essential parts of human life.

Let’s just be clear about one thing: I’m not talking about romantic love here only. I’m talking about all the other loving relationships in your life – they’re all built on pure love, aren’t they?

So, what’s the power of love? What makes it so special? What is the value of love, and what are its benefits?

¿Qué es el amor?

There is more than one definition of love. Some people say that love is your ability to put someone else’s well-being in front of your own, while others define it as a powerful feeling of attachment to another person.

Either way, the fact is that the concept of love is not one feeling only. Instead, it’s a range of emotions that give you pleasure. At least, that’s how love should make you feel – positive and good about yourself.

If it hurts, it isn’t love

Lo que quiero que tengas siempre presente es que love doesn’t hurt – loving the wrong person does.

We’ve all been there: we’ve loved someone and ended up feeling lousy or heartbroken because of it. Maybe you fell in love with someone who was forbidden, or the person you gave your heart to didn’t love you back, which eventually brought you misery.

But real love shouldn’t make you feel like that. In fact, true love doesn’t change you, it doesn’t make you feel bad about yourself, it doesn’t judge, and it certainly isn’t the cause of your tears.

Of course, each one of these things happens because you mistake other emotions for love. To be exact, a lot of the time, your feelings can be traced back to your ego, not your heart. And when that happens, you’re stuck with these consequences.

Verás, el verdadero valor del amor no tiene nada que ver con los celos, el orgullo, las inseguridades y los miedos. Todas esas son emociones alimentadas por tu ego.

You hold on to anxiety, revenge, pride, energy and think they’re all encompassed in love. But they’re not. And you know why?

Because love is pure and perfect, it dignifies your soul and ennobles your entire personality – it doesn’t bring any darkness and negativity to the table.

¿Cuál es el valor moral del amor?

Among other things, love teaches you a lot about morals – principles that help you differentiate right from wrong. Some of the basic moral values are truthfulness, honesty, integrity, appreciation, compromise… And love contains all of them.

When you love someone, you won’t lie to them, will you? Instead, you’ll do your best to be as honest and truthful as possible.

Your actions will follow your words because the last thing you want is to disappoint them in any way possible. You’ll be honorable, regardless if your love interest is next to you at a given moment or not.

The same goes for appreciating the one you love. You’ll deeply admire all the sacrifices this person has made for your sake. And naturally, you’ll return the favor as the consequence of valuing what you have.

Una vez que llegas a amar a alguien, empiezas a adoptar cada uno de estos valores fundamentales (y muchos más). El amor simplemente te inspira a ser mejor, y aumenta tu sentido de todos estos principios.

¿Cuántas veces has oído hablar de alguien que de repente se volvió más amable con el mundo cuando se enamoró? ¿Cuántos ejemplos conoces de personas que se convirtieron en individuos honestos, honorables y dignos de confianza después de que el amor les inspirara a ser mejores?

You see, if you’ve never loved or were loved, you haven’t had the chance to learn about these core values. Abrir el corazón al amor y sentir que alguien se preocupa por ti son las dos únicas cosas que pueden enseñarte esto.

¿Por qué el amor es un valor importante?

Now, you probably understand why love is perhaps the most important value of them all – because it is a combination of all other core values.

Whether we like to admit it or not, love is crucial for all of us. You could be heartbroken or hurt at the moment, so maybe you’ll say you’ve given up on love. Pero ambos sabemos que eso está muy lejos de la verdad.

No matter how emotionally unavailable you are at the moment, that will change over time. You don’t have to consciously want it, but sooner or later, you’ll realize that love is the most significant thing in the world.

It’s more important than money, social status, and every other temporary satisfaction. Unconditional love is what makes a human life complete – it’s the only value that fulfills your entire being.

Sorprendentes beneficios del amor

El amor tiene numerosos beneficios, empezando por los que hace bien a tu salud física, incluido el hecho de que te brinda la mayor oportunidad de superación personal, y terminando por los numerosos beneficios para tu salud mental.

Instinto humano primario

El amor es uno de los instintos humanos primarios. Tan complicado como puede ser, it’s a basic emotion that goes hand in hand with anger and fear.

En el fondo, las personas somos bastante parecidas a los animales. Al igual que ellos, todos tenemos una serie de instintos que nos mantienen vivos y nos hacen la vida mucho más llevadera.

When you think of these instincts, the first thing that comes to mind is survival. In this case, you’re talking about self-preservation instincts. Simply put, they keep you away from danger, prevent you from hurting yourself, and also keep you safe from others.

El dolor es el resultado de este instinto de supervivencia. Por muy incómodo que pueda resultar, en realidad te hace mucho bien. El dolor te indica qué parte de tu cuerpo está herida y te ayuda a protegerla hasta que te cures.

The next instinct is connected with preserving the species. As soon as you reach puberty, you have the desire for intercourse – otherwise, our species would go extinct.

In a way, love can be connected to this one. After all, you want to sleep with the person you’re romantically in love with, don’t you?

Nevertheless, love is mostly a part of the third group of instincts: the social ones. It’s connected to your desire for belonging as well as the desire for social contact with other people.

That’s what love is all about – you want to be in touch with the people you care for deeply. And what about romantic love?

Well, it’s the perfect combo of these two primal instincts. When you’re in love with someone, you want to have intercourse with them, but you also want to have other types of contact with them, don’t you?

Autodescubrimiento

Another benefit of love is the fact that it leads you down the path of self-discovery. This is the emotion that brings out the best in you – the emotion that inspires you to be your true self.

When you fall in love, you learn a lot about yourself. Sometimes, it helps you discover things even you didn’t know about yourself.

Were you aware that you could be so generous and kind before you started loving someone? Did you know how much you can take? Could you even imagine, up to this point, sacrificing something for someone else’s good?

Supongo que no. Bueno, el amor te ayudó a descubrir todo esto.

The same way you’re getting to know the other person while you’re growing to love them, you’re also getting a chance to meet yourself. You’re uncovering your personality layer by layer, including the ones you never dreamt of having.

Lo más importante: el amor hacia los demás te aporta más cerca del amor propio. Once you see that someone else cares for you, you understand that you’re loveable.

Once you hear someone tell you, “I love you,” you have the need to say those magic words to yourself as well. Finally, you start cuídate because you see you’re worth it.

Beneficios para la salud

There is no doubt about one thing: the power of love benefits your physical and mental health. I’m sure you knew about the latter, but maybe you weren’t familiar with the fact that it really does influence your brain in the most positive way ever.

According to some studies, people who love and are loved in return have less trouble with high blood pressure – and we all know how dangerous that can be. You feel calmer next to someone you care for, so, naturally, your heart rhythm slows down.

Also, love is proven to be a natural pain remedy. There really is something about holding your loved one’s hand when you’re experiencing physical pain. In fact, their touch alone makes the area of the brain responsible for pain less responsive.

Let’s talk about the physiological effects. I’m sure you’ve heard about oxytocin, or what some like to call the love hormone.

Oxytocin is released into your brain when you’re in love, when you cuddle with someone, or when you’re sleeping with the person you care about. Basically, it’s one of the hormones that make you happier.

It’s a proven fact that people in love handle stressful situations better, are less prone to anxiety, and don’t have trouble chasing their fears away. Also, your loved ones can help you cope with depression much more effectively than you can by yourself.

Come on, you’ve loved before, and you know exactly what I’m talking about. How many times have you been paralyzed by fear? But then, all of a sudden, the person you love tells you that everything will be okay.

And even though you’re perfectly aware that they don’t have a magic wand that can make your life perfect, somehow, you start to feel calmer. You’re not alone, and you’re not scared of anything as long as you have them to hold your hand.

Cuando esta persona está a tu alrededor, sientes que los dos podéis enfrentaros a todos y a todo lo que aparezca en vuestro camino. Obtienes esta increíble fuerza y poder interior que inmediatamente empiezas a sentirte invencible.

Motivación

Love motivates you to do and be better. If you’ve ever lost your will to live, the people you care about (and who care about you in return) will give you just the push you need.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not, under any circumstances, claiming that the person you love will make you feel like you’re not good enough. In fact, they’ll love who you are.

They won’t put any effort into changing you, nor will they try turning you into someone you’re not. But you’ll be the one who will get the desire to engage in serious self-improvement.

You’ll start seeing your own flaws – but not in terms of judging yourself or putting the person you once were down. You’ll just begin to notice your imperfections, and you’ll try hard to find ways to become the best possible version of yourself.

All of a sudden, you’ll have the energy to turn your life upside down. Remember how you’ve been planning to hit the gym for the last hundred Mondays? Or how you couldn’t get yourself to take that final exam that’s been bugging you for years?

In fact, this motivation doesn’t necessarily have to be connected to something big. If love helps you get up in the morning with more ease every day – it’s more than enough.

But love will bring you much more. Trust me: it’s the force that pushes you. The force that makes you feel like you could move mountains with your bare hands.

It’s the force that gives you the energy you never knew was even possible. The force that encourages you and gives you inspiration for every new day that comes.

Se siente bien.

Finally, it’s pretty plain and simple: love makes you feel good. It makes you a happier person in the world. It makes you ecstatic and content about your own life.

It brings you joy, and it puts a smile on your face. It makes you feel like you’re about to fly.

El amor te hace sentir seguro y protegido. Te aporta optimismo y te da la esperanza de que siempre hay luz al final del túnel.

Why is this so? Well, according to science, love releases another hormone into your brain – a hormone called dopamine. Dopamine is also known as “the happiness hormone” – the one that awakens all of these positive emotions inside of you.

Well, even if this is the only real value of love, wouldn’t it be more than enough?

¿Cuáles son los tipos de amor?

There is more than one kind of love – there is romantic love, friend love, sibling love, parents’ love…

Cuando alguien dice amor, la mayoría de nosotros pensamos en romance.

But that doesn’t have to be the case because you don’t love all the people in your life in the same way. You have different loving relationships with your family members, friends, coworkers, cousins… and you have intense feelings for each one of these people.

Let’s try and compare the love you feel for your life partner and the one you feel for your parents. You can’t, can you?

¿Cuáles son los antiguos tipos de amor griegos?

Según los antiguos griegos, lo que hoy conocemos como amor podía clasificarse en 8 subgrupos:

– Philia (love between friends and family members)

– Pragma (longstanding love that endured throughout many years and even more challenges)

– Eros (romantic love)

– Storge (natural affection)

– Mania (obsessive love)

– Ludus (playful love – more similar to the feeling of being in love)

– Philautia (self-love)

– Agape (unconditional love)

Cada una de estas palabras describía un tipo diferente de sentimiento y representaba un concepto por sí misma.

Pero créeme cuando te digo que esta clasificación no está tan desfasada como podrías pensar. De hecho, también puede aplicarse al amor moderno.

¿Cómo se mide el amor?

If someone asked you if you loved your sister or brother more – you couldn’t give them an answer. That is because you probably love them with the same intensity, but you experience different types of affection.

Therefore, just because you don’t have a happy love life doesn’t mean you’re deprived of love. If you ever loved just one human being and were loved by that person (whoever they are) in return – you know exactly how amazing and extraordinary this feeling is.

¿Qué abarca el amor?

There is no doubt about one thing: there is more than one aspect of love. You’re perfectly aware that el verdadero amor significa respect, tolerance, compassion, acceptance, kindness, appreciation, devotion, and so on…

Amabilidad

There is no love without kindness. You can’t say that you love someone if you don’t treat them with generosity and consideration.

There is no point in sharing your life with another person if you don’t help them out and give them a hand when they need you. Forget about who’ll take advantage of whom here.

If we’re talking about unconditional love, both you and your life partner give the approximately same amount of kindness. There is no such thing as returning the favor or measuring who did more.

Aceptación

The next aspect of love is complete acceptance. Don’t get me wrong: you’re allowed not to like some things about the person you love – after all, nobody is perfect.

Nevertheless, when your heart chooses them, your brain must follow. That means that you’re perfectly conscientes de sus imperfecciones y quererlos por ellas.

Let’s look at things from this point of view. Your loved one possesses a habit or a behavior pattern that annoys the hell out of you.

In fact, you’re positive that they would be completely flawless without this little thing. But don’t be so sure.

Try imagining them without this personality trait. All of a sudden, they’re not the same person you’ve grown to love, are they?

Créame cuando le digo que your love can’t change anyone who doesn’t want to be changed. It’s one thing if someone gets inspired by your relationship and wants to improve.

Nevertheless, forcing someone to be a person they’re not never works out. Basically, you have two possible scenarios here.

You’ll either waste a lot of time trying to change them, and you’ll end up accomplishing nothing. Or they’ll do their best to change to please you and will end up frustrated and resenting you.

Either way, you don’t love the person whose essence you hope to change. You love the idea of them.

Esto es especialmente cierto cuando se trata de amantes románticos. La gente tiende a enamorarse del potencial: llegan a amar todo lo que la persona que tienen al lado puede llegar a ser.

Compromiso

Here is another crucial aspect of valuing love – one that has different meanings in different relationships. When it comes to romantic relationships, amar a tu pareja es un compromiso.

The moment you say “I love you” or decide to put a label on your relationship – you’re expected to be faithful and loyal.

But what does commitment mean in other relationships? Well, basically, it’s a promise that you won’t leave the moment things get rough.

It’s a vow that you’ll remain devoted to this relationship, no matter what happens. It’s taking responsibility and that you’re in the relationship all the way – without holding any parts of yourself back.

Compasión

You can’t be happy if someone you love is miserable. No, I’m not saying that this is how you should feel or that your misery will help them with theirs – it’s just how things roll.

La compasión es una parte inevitable del amor verdadero. Simplemente se desarrolla la capacidad de sentir lo que siente la otra persona.

You recognize their every emotion without them having to say a word. And the best part is that you don’t just sit there, doing nothing.

Instead, you put all of your efforts into making your loved one feel better. And at the end of the day – you succeed. Because that’s what the power of love is all about.

Respetar

Finally, there is no love without respect. Trust me – if you’re falta de respeto en su relación – the other person doesn’t love you enough.

I’m not saying that you have to nod your head in agreement with everything your loved one says or does. But sometimes, just agree to disagree.

First and foremost, you always have to respect the other person’s efforts. You have to respect their core values (even if they differ from yours), their boundaries, personal space and time, their wishes, and their opinions.

Everything besides this is not love – it’s just your ego talking.

Una vez más, esto es especialmente importante en las relaciones románticas. Créame: quien doesn’t respect you doesn’t deserve a place in your life, and they certainly don’t love you.

Reflexiones finales:

Did you get your hope back after reminding yourself of the value of love? Are you ready to admit that it’s the most precious thing ever?

Valuing love doesn’t make you a hopeless romantic. It just means that you’re aware of all of its beauty and that you’re ready to welcome it into your life.

So please, choose to love and let others love you. You’ll thank me later – once you see that it was worth it.