The other day, I was talking to my grandma about relationships. You see, I’ve been single for a while now (and I had my share of crappy relationships before that) so you can assume that she’s worried.
You are probably thinking: “What could an old lady like her tell you about today’s dating?” After all, everything was very different back in her day.
Well, I promise you that she knows more than any of us. In fact, truth be told, I know literally nothing about the man I’m supposed to grow old with.
You see, for as long as I can remember, I either had too high expectations or no standards at all. Of course, when I’m crazy about a guy, he is basically allowed to treat me badly.
He doesn’t have to be ambitious or handsome. Are the butterflies in my stomach throwing a party every time he looks at me? Well, if they do, that should do it.
On the other hand, when I’m with a guy who doesn’t give me that tickling sensation, I’m bothered by everything he does. This is when my standards suddenly skyrocket and when nothing is good enough.
Well, my nana told me that I’ll know I’ve found the right man when he checks off all of these boxes. So, I’m just here sharing her wisdom.
He is loyal
When you’re looking for your Mr. Perfect, you want him to stay faithful for the rest of your life. You don’t want him flirting with other girls or fooling around behind your back in any other way.
This should be a basic standard in every relationship. However, my nana says that there is something more important than fidelity: loyalty.
When a man is loyal, he is automatically faithful as well.
When he is loyal, he’ll never do anything to betray your trust, he’ll fight for the two of you with all of his strength and he never does anything that might endanger your relationship.
He makes you feel safe
The next checkbox your forever person should tick off is making you feel safe. Forget about modern dating games, mixed signals or playing hard to get.
When you’re with this man, you’ll know that he’s there for you and that he isn’t going anywhere, no matter what. You don’t live in a constant state of fear.
You’re not worried that he might leave the second a hotter girl walks past him. You don’t have to wait for him to leave you as soon as you gain some extra pounds or the moment your first wrinkles or gray hairs show up.
He isn’t threatened by you
Back in the old days, men couldn’t stand having a more educated or successful wife.
You probably think that this changed over the course of time. Well, I hate to be the one to burst your bubble but sadly, it hasn’t.
In fact, there are many guys who still feel threatened by their women; they’ve just gotten better at hiding their insecurities.
This is why your Mr. Right has to be proud of everything you are able to do. He should consider himself lucky for having an ambitious woman.
So, instead of holding you back, this man will push you forward. Only next to him will you achieve all those great things you’re destined to accomplish.
He is your best friend
At the end of the day, all you want is your best friend to hold your hand after a long day at work. You want someone to understand you and to love you the same at your worst and at your best.
So instead of looking for a lover, search for a friend as well. Search for someone who will make you laugh and wipe your tears away.
Search for your person, a man who will be the silver lining to your clouds. A man who will be there for you through thick and thin, sickness and health and both the good and bad days.
To Wrap Up
Forget about the idea that you have to pick between a man who awakens the deepest emotions in you and the one you’re compatible with. Don’t think that this man won’t give you the butterflies you want.
Trust me, you can have both!