Sending direct messages on social media is a whole different ball game to texting someone on dating apps (like Tinder) or meeting them in real life.
DMing requires lots of confidence and creativity in order to make the best first impression and that’s why learning how to slide into DMs like a boss is essential!
Just like junk mail, DM slides belong to the category of unsolicited messages, but this doesn’t mean you don’t stand a chance.
If you focus on following the steps below (and if you avoid things like being weird and sending too many emojis) you have a good chance of catching their attention and making a killer first impression!
When meeting someone face-to-face IRL, you have 7 seconds to impress them, whereas DMing works on the principle of ‘first message = first impression’.
So, the last thing you want to do is ruin the first message with overly flirty texting, sending cheesy pick-up lines, or a recent selfie (or a Snapchat?).
You want to DM your potential bae with style, and in a non-intrusive, engaging way.
You want them to see that you’re different from the rest and that you’re totally worthy of being DMed back! And this is how you do it:
How To Slide Into DMs Efficiently
1. Follow them (or send a friend request) first and make sure they reciprocate
This is the first, important step when it comes to DMing someone on a social media platform.
You don’t want to send someone you like a private message without first making sure that they want to be texted.
And if the person you followed follows you back on Insta or another network or accepts your friend request, then the chances are good that they approve of you.
So, they won’t categorize you as a stalker and, most importantly, they won’t use ghosting methods when you text them!
I daresay this is one of the biggest advantages of communicating like this compared to meeting face-to-face, because you can’t ask someone whether they like you or whether they want to be approached by you.
I mean, you can but it would be totally weird, right?
But, with online dating and DMing, you have the option of testing the waters first by following them or sending a friend request and waiting to see their response.
So, if they follow you back and accept your friend request, it’s like a semi-green light for you to slide into their DMs.
The emphasis is on ‘semi’ here, though. Why? Because there’s still no guarantee they will be pleased about you DMing them, and that’s where your texting style comes into the story!
You cannot force them to like you, but you can do your best when it comes to making a killer first impression by sending the right message!
2. Make a killer first impression!
You probably already know that if you want to improve your love life, you need to work on improving your image (be it online or IRL).
In the social media platform world, this means making sure your profile and feed look as fresh and attractive as possible.
Now, don’t get me wrong. This doesn’t mean that you need to look like a model in every picture and have the exciting life of a celebrity.
You just need to accentuate your best features because we all have something unique and special that differentiates us from others.
The worst thing that could happen is you following them or sending a friend request without having any picture at all, or having a picture of a bottle of beer, car, expensive things or your perfect nails.
No one gives a damn about it (unless they are gold-diggers, of course)!
So, making a killer first impression is basically about being your best self.
It’s about presenting yourself in the best light possible, but without overdoing it!
3. Ask thoughtful questions
I cannot emphasize enough how asking thoughtful questions plays an enormous role when it comes to learning how to slide into DMs like a boss.
I’ve noticed that the male population has a tendency to send texts like: Hello beautiful or Hey sexy.
While this might work on Tinder or other online dating apps, the chances are really low that it will work on social media as well.
Instead of instantly drooling over someone you barely know anything about, you should think about first asking them some thoughtful questions – about their life or about something they posted recently.
It’s the only way to be engaging but not creepily engaging (if you catch my drift).
If you solely focus on praising their physical attributes, they will classify you as superficial and “only interested in one thing”.
So, even if you’re interested in only one thing (jumping into their pants), the only way to succeed is by being non-creepy and interesting.
4. Launch the conversation with a mutual interest
Before sliding into someone DMs, always make sure to do your homework and check out their profile – you’d be surprised how many potential topics you’ll find there.
Do they keep posting about a particular music band, politics, books, food, animals?
Pay attention to their feed’s content and find a mutual interest.
When you find a connection between the two of you, it will be easier for you to ask the right questions and keep the conversation going once you DM them.
Also, make sure to post some pictures of your mutual interest yourself, so that they see you’re being genuine.
And if you do that, there is a high chance they might text you first or comment on something you posted.
You see, anything is possible when you play your cards right!
5. Make a connection
The Internet is a dangerous place full of strangers, creeps, and weirdos, so making a connection when DMing someone is a surefire way to win some brownie points.
If you have mutual friends, make sure to use it to your advantage. You can mention some of your mutual friends or if you’ve already met the person you’re DMing, you can refer to that as well.
Perhaps you met them at a recent party and now you don’t know how to slide into their DMs and let them know that you’re the guy or girl who exchanged a few words with them.
In that case, you should definitely say something like: Hey, I think we met at the party on (that day).
You can also add: I remember you mentioned (something) to refresh their memory.
Another way to make a connection is to comment on some mutual place you both visited.
I’m sure they will be thrilled to share their experience and impressions with you!
6. Respond to one of their stories
If all else fails (kidding), you can always choose the option of responding to one of their stories.
I mean, just think about it! Stories are one of the best ways to slide into their DMs because you won’t seem like some creep who was digging through their profile and commenting on every picture.
Because stories are presented, they are visible and they literally scream: Comment, like (or do whatever).
So, let’s say their story is a funny video of their pet playing.
What you can do is tell them that their pet is super cute and add that you had a similar situation recently (or when you had a pet) plus spice it up with some funny details that will make them laugh.
It’s a perfect story response that will show them you’re not a creep, that will be engaging, and that will make them laugh.
It’s a combination of both a thoughtful and funny way to slide into their DMs!
Things You Should NEVER Do When Sliding Into Someone’s DMs
Sometimes, a positive outcome greatly depends on the things we didn’t do instead of those we did.
We could say that is the golden rule of DMing – and social networks in general.
To help you make the best out of your DMing experience (and make a killer first impression), here is a list of things you should NEVER do:
1. Don’t be creepy
By not being creepy I mean staying away from sending your dick pics (if you’re male) or pics in hot outfits (if you’re female) even though I know guys wouldn’t mind it at all.
You need to keep in mind that sliding into someone’s DMs equals sending unsolicited messages (as I already mentioned above) and you don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable.
If you succeed in making them feel like that, they will find you creepy and they might not reply at all.
So, remember not to be creepy and to be simple and effective instead. Because simple = success!
2. Don’t send boring, generic messages
I myself am a huge hater of boring, generic messages like: Hey, what are you up to? or similar.
I mean, it’s okay to ask that, but it doesn’t have to be the first thing you ask someone and it doesn’t have to be on repeat.
Boring, generic messages are a surefire way to appear uninteresting and to kill the conversation before it has even started.
Instead, you should think about other creative ways of starting a conversation, like those mentioned above (or you can always come up with something unique by yourself).
3. Don’t freak out if they don’t reply immediately
Just don’t. Perhaps they’re busy and they cannot text you back at the moment, so they’ve put you on hold by not replying for the time being.
That doesn’t mean you should freak out immediately and go full crazy mode on them (and also keep in mind that they can screenshot the convo).
Trust me, in these situations patience truly is a virtue!
4. Don’t use Tinder tactics
Keep in mind that sliding into someone’s DMs is not the same thing as contacting them on Tinder or other dating apps.
So, no, it’s not okay if you call them sexy or use other similar words that show your attraction to their physical attributes.
You don’t know if they want to be spoken to that way or if it makes them uncomfortable.
So, the best bet is to play safe and avoid Tinder tactics at all costs.
5. Don’t be a liking & commenting stalker
And please, don’t be one of those people who run into liking & commenting mode and as a result annoy the person they wanted to text.
This is another legit version of being a creep, so you don’t want to do that.
Liking every one of their pictures (even those posted 10 years ago) and commenting on all their new pictures is not recommended unless you want to scare the shit out of them and appear weird-ish.
I understand you like them a lot, but trust me, restricting yourself to their most recent tweets and photos will do the job!
And last, but not the least, one of the best bits of dating advice in general, and especially when it comes to learning how to slide into DMs, is to be yourself!
Don’t overdo things when it comes to making the first impression and don’t pretend to be something you’re not.
Stay true to yourself because that’s the best bet and the biggest shortcut to catching anyone’s attention, getting them to reply, and winning their heart!