First of all, I want to say , it was never easy to finally walk away from you, but I knew this was what was needed in order to restore myself to the person I once was. I knew that the pain was going to hurt for a good amount of time. And it did. The pain felt like a million knives stabbing my heart over and over again. I believe my pain was so strong because you and I shared a special magnetic connection. This magnetic connection kept pulling us back together, after a once-failed try to work things out. This magnetic connection we shared was so amazing yet so toxic.
I kept hoping for you, that you would change your distortive and destructive patterns, and come back and be the man I needed you to be. I kept hoping the universe would bring us back together and give me more than this lukewarm relationship you had given me. I kept hoping in my heart that you would realize I was a leading role and the most important character in your life.
Yet you hurt me so badly by choosing to select me as your ‘on again, off again’ ex. You chose to keep me on your back burner. You left me the assumption you were truly trying to work on your flaws and wanted to work things out for the better of us…all the while behind my back, you decided to see someone new—see someone new to see if you could get away with those same tactics and behaviors you could not so easily get away with with me. Tactics such as opening up Tinder while on a business trip because you went away. I have to admit that I’m surprised she has put up with this behavior for so long…but that is beside the point.
There were many times I wanted to reach out to her and destroy your relationship like you had destroyed me. However, I knew that would only give me an empty satisfaction to my unanswered question as to why you had left me.
After much heartache and multiple swipes to the left and right, I finally realized my love within myself was far more important than whatever distorted reality you may have thought of me. I want you to know, I no longer want to know what’s on your mind when I see you pass me by and look into my eyes, because honestly, you didn’t deserve even a glance into what my future has in store for me.
I want you to understand, I forgive you for the past. So there is no need to call me and apologize when things go bump because I know they will. I know when your world comes tumbling down and when you can no longer find someone to take my place at night, I beg you not to come back to me. Please don’t come back to me when she can no longer take your heart and distract your mind from me. My chapter with you has now closed.
Again, I know things with this new girl will not work out, and when they don’t, I will feel sorry for you because it’s too late. I will not want to be hit up with an empty gesture of asking me how I’m doing, followed by why we didn’t remain friends. I will not want to hear all those words I so pathetically waited for over a year to hear: “ I’m sorry I made a mistake” I know I won’t want to hear this because this will be your way and a so-called tactic to get back into my heart. You will still be the same man with broken promises, and the same man who can only love himself so much more than any other human being. So please, Ex, please don’t ask me to remember the times you made me smile because there were plenty of times you made me cry.
Please don’t ask me to remember that trip to Europe, because now I hate it.
I waited too long thinking you’d come back to me. I missed opportunities because I still held some amount of faith in the universe. However now I realize the universe did me justice in helping me acknowledge that you are an example of what not to look for next time. What I now understand is that you are no longer in my picture of life, and what the universe is telling me is to allow someone with a different, more positive energy flow into my life. You are in the picture of heartache and false promises.
So dear Ex, I love you, but I’m also over you. I’m no longer holding on to you. I hope you understand, but we are over. I hope you understand that you are in my past for a reason, and I do not see you anywhere in my future. So please when you realize you made the biggest mistake of your life, because you did, I ask you to keep those thoughts to yourself.
From the partner who made you a better man with her sass and class.