I speak the truth when I say I want you to know from the bottom of my heart how much of an impact you have made in my life. You have changed my life for the better, as I’m now no longer the leading role in your web of lies.
The death of our relationship happened because you simply couldn’t make a change. You simply couldn’t be a man and own up to your own demons—those demons to whom you so willingly lost the battle. You simply couldn’t care for anyone other than yourself.
You decided to end our relationship when you continuously placed your friends and your own wants and needs over mine. Over mine when I would simply drop anything at any time just to make you smile.
I made you my top priority while you made me your least. I would literally be there at the snap of your finger! If I had known what rubbing your lamp would cause, I would have never let that genie out of the bottle in the first place. I would have never continued this never-ending battle with a manipulative jerk.
But, now that you and I are no longer together, I have time. I have time to breathe. I have time to think. I have had the time to realize that it was never me who had all those insecurities. It was actually you.
So, I congratulate you. I congratulate you on losing the best damn thing that ever walked into your life. I congratulate you on making me think it was my own insecurities that failed our relationship.
I want to congratulate you on also being the BEST manipulator there was. You truly avoided any responsibility for your own conduct throughout this relationship. And you avoided it constantly by blaming me in order to deflect the real issue in the relationship—you. So, cheers to you!
As you look in that rearview mirror while you lay in bed at night, I hope I haunt you like you haunted me for so long.
I hope you realize I made you the best version of yourself while you were with me. I hope you understand there will never be another woman like me to stick around and deal with your bullshit.
I hope you search for those simple yet sweet love letters I left you when you traveled. I hope you search for that care packet I left you because you were always leaving something behind that I knew you needed. I truly held you down through your darkest moments and that’s the most fucked up part of our story.
I hope you realize that loving someone does not mean destroying every ounce of them. I want you to know how much I tried to earn your love. However, it was never enough. I could never force you to love me as I loved you.
I remember feeling so empty, trying to help you fight those inner battles with yourself. I remember trying to show you what love was. I remember being the only girl to have gotten so close to changing you and your bad habits.
I remember once being the girl whom you thought had changed the game. The thing is though, no matter how much I learned lessons through our brokenness, it didn’t matter because you still never internalized the concept of loving someone else besides yourself.
This whole time in our relationship, I was loving you more and more each day despite your bullshit, but you never loved me. You only loved yourself.
Just remember that what goes around comes around. Maybe that’s why you jump from relationship to relationship with each ending being the same? Leaving each woman you’ve played your games with insecure and broken-hearted.
But sweetie please don’t worry about me because I now understand my self-worth and I now know how to spot a narcissist the next time I see him. No longer will I hold someone down like you ever again. So go ahead and have your fun with someone else.
Just remember what goes around comes around. And if karma is anywhere near my side, I’ll be able to watch it unfold as you did with our relationship.