4 cose da sapere prima di tornare con un traditore

Ci siamo passati tutti, in un modo o nell'altro.

It’s never easy trying to piece yourself back together after having your world shattered by a cheating partner, all the while learning to amare se stessi di nuovo.

Ci vuole molta energia, pazienza e fede per superare una rottura così traumatica, soprattutto quando si tratta della persona intorno alla quale si è progettata tutta la vita.

La parte più stancante del processo di superamento di lui è rappresentata dalle sue incessanti suppliche di riprenderlo.

He’ll faithfully promise it was merely a lapse in judgement that meant less than nothing and he would never dream of doing it again.

As if it wasn’t difficult enough as it is, now you have to fight your persistent urge to forgive him because you just don’t want to stop loving him.

E chi può biasimarvi!

Fino a poco tempo fa, era il vostro mondo.

Era il tuo migliore amico, your rock, and the person you could laugh for hours on end with…

And now, he’s just somebody you barely recognize anymore, but don’t want to let go of.

If you’ve recently been cheated on and you’re contemplating taking him back, I feel you. I really do.

It’s truly devastating letting go of somebody who means that much to you, but sometimes, even though you can’t see it at the time, that is exactly what you should do.

Avrei voluto sapere alcune cose prima di perdonare il mio ex traditore and went back into that emotional turmoil, but trust me, it’s never the same.

Learn from somebody who’s been through the wringer, and let my mistakes help you make the best decision for yourself.

Ecco tutte le cose di cui dovete essere consapevoli prima di decidere di riprenderlo.

1. I problemi del passato non smetteranno mai di tormentarvi (per quanto li ignoriate).

If you forgive him and decide to take him back, at first, it’s going to feel like pure bliss.

He’ll be on his absolute best behaviour and he’ll make amends every chance he gets.

Vi riempirà di amore, affetto e gratitudine e vi sentirete come una regina.

You will be able to temporarily ignore the cold fact that he did in fact cheat on you. You’ll try to put it behind you, and for a while, you’ll succeed.

Ma poi un giorno tornerà strisciante.

He’s going to say something or do something that’s immediately going to take you back to the day you found out, and you will remember what he’s capable of.

You’ll try to ignore it, but it won’t be possible.

Ti ha dato per scontata, ha deciso di andare a letto con un'altra donna, and you’ll never be able to fully forgive and forget, no matter how hard you’ll want to.

2. Getting past his infidelity is going to be hard work and it won’t happen overnight

You’ll actively try to move on and stop focusing on what he did. You may even consider therapy.

You’ll do whatever it takes and you will truly try to move past this.

But the thing is, it’s always going to be in the back of your head.

When you walk down the street and he merely glances at another woman passing by, you’ll be pissed.

He’ll be texting somebody, and all you’ll be able to think about is who the other person is and if he’s making a fool out of you again.

Nessuna terapia riuscirà a farvi dimenticare, e la paranoia e la rabbia saranno sempre presenti.

Learning to live with this is a long, draining process that doesn’t always work, and sometimes, that ends up being for the best.

3. Le vostre insicurezze stanno per venire a galla.

At times, you’ll wonder what she looks like. Is she prettier, thinner, or younger than you?

Is she more easy-going and carefree? Does she make him laugh like you can’t?

Or is she simply a beast in the sheets that you just can’t compete with?

Tutte queste domande vi balzeranno in testa e vi renderanno insicuri al massimo.

It’s going to be exhausting as hell comparing yourself to his ragazza laterale.

You’ll hate it that he made you so weak and self-conscious, but it’s going to be your reality whether you like it or not.

4. The fact that “the other woman” is still out there somewhere will be torture

You won’t be able to get her out of your head. You’ll try to find out her name, where she lives, and whatever else you can get your hands on.

You’ll get your girls to stalk her on social media. The deeper you go, the harder it’s going to be to let go and, frankly, you won’t want to.

And the worst part is if you find out she is hot, young, and everything you’re not, it’s over.

You’ll never stop comparing yourself to her and you’ll be secretly pissed all the time.

Vi torturerete continuamente e la vostra relazione non sopravviverà mai a questa situazione.

Sono rari i casi in cui la partner tradita è davvero in grado di superare tutto questo e di trovare la forza di perdonare e ricominciare da capo.

Ma a meno che non sentiate di poter convivere con tutte queste cose sfortunate che prima o poi vi raggiungeranno, vi suggerisco di allontanarvi da questa situazione e di curarvi altrove.

He won’t bring you peace that you need right now, so let him go, and find your strength and confidence again before you make any permanent decisions.

Take it from someone who’s lived this nightmare and learned the hard way. True love awaits you… it’s just not with him.