11 segni che non vuole andare a letto con te e 7 ragioni che lo giustificano
You’re used to watching out for red flags of a guy who sees you as niente di più che una visita di cortesia. You know the type: the one who only calls you after midnight and who’s clearly not interested in building a deeper emotional connection.
But what happens when the tables turn around? What are the signs he doesn’t want to sleep with you?
Sì, anche queste cose accadono. So che per la maggior parte del tempo disumanizziamo gli uomini e li consideriamo come macchine del sesso che farebbero di tutto per scopare.
Nevertheless, sometimes you couldn’t drag him into the bedroom, even if his life depended on it. The biggest problem with this is that usually, girls have a hard time taking hints.
You don’t even take this as an option. You’re young, attractive, and funny- who wouldn’t want to sleep with you?
Well, I hate to be the one to break it to you but it appears that you’ve run into an endemic species.
11 Signs He Doesn’t Want To Sleep With You
You know how you act when you don’t want to have sex with someone? Well, men and women are pretty much the same, despite all of their differences.
So, when a guy doesn’t want to sleep with you, here are some behavioral patterns he is likely to display.
Ti ha friendzonato
If you’re being honest, you’ll admit that this guy probably doesn’t see you as more than a friend. It’s the bitter truth but he simply doesn’t look at you like that.
You put a lot of effort into seducing him but the fact is that he doesn’t see you as materiale per la fidanzata. Of course, this has nothing to do with your appearance or personality and it certainly doesn’t make you any less worthy.
You might not be his type- that’s all. This man is obviously different and he doesn’t have the ambition to sleep with every pretty girl on the planet.
On the other hand, he appreciates all of your other qualities- otherwise, he wouldn’t have kept you in his life at all.
Pensa a te come a una grande persona che vuole essere il migliore amico con. Gli piace passare il tempo con voi e non rovinerebbe mai la vostra straordinaria amicizia per una notte di sesso senza senso.
Of course, you don’t share his opinion but that’s a whole other thing.
The bottom line is that for this guy, you’re one of the boys. He even often calls you “dude” or tells everyone that you’re the closest thing he’s ever had to a sister.
You probably do have a significant place on his priority list but that doesn’t mean he sees you as a sexual being. I’m sure he loves you- just not the way you would want him to.
Evita il contatto fisico
You don’t usually agree to have sex with someone and then just proceed on doing it. The fact is that the foreplay itself actually begins way before the bedroom.
When someone is into you, he’ll use every chance he gets to touch you. I’m not saying that you must cuddle or make out while eating dinner on your first date but when a guy wants to sleep with you, he’ll definitely engage in some kind of physical contact.
Or at least, he’ll try doing so and it’s up to you whether you’ll let him or not.
For example, he’ll grab your hand, hold you a bit longer in his arms when abbracciandoti or put his hand on your knee when he’s telling you a story. The examples are endless but I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Ebbene, questo tipo di interazione non si trova da nessuna parte tra voi e questo ragazzo. Anzi, vi respinge ogni volta che cercate di stabilire un contatto.
Obviously, he doesn’t literally push you away but he does everything in his power to avoid giving you an opportunity to touch him.
Ritirata
He’s always the first one to let go when you’re hugging (beware that he’s also never the one to initiate these hugging sessions). When you grab his hand, he just holds it there before pulling away without grabbing you tighter or putting his other hand on top of yours.
Whenever you touch him, his first reaction is to pull back. It’s like an instinct he can’t control which makes it more than obvious that this man isn’t comfortable with your skin on his.
His body doesn’t have the desire to join with yours on this innocent level so how do you expect your intercourse to feel?
I know what you must think- he probably doesn’t want to be all pushy or sta giocando duro per ottenere. Beh, tesoro, smettila di autoingannarti.
Let’s not forget that he is just a human being. Trust me- if he wanted to touch you (and if he weren’t bothered by you touching him), it would be very clear.
He doesn’t let you invade his personal space
One of the biggest warning signs he doesn’t want to sleep with you is the way this man literally doesn’t let you near him. It’s not that he just avoids your touch- he also doesn’t let you invade his personal space.
Lo si vede nelle piccole cose che sembrano irrilevanti ma che in realtà contano più di quanto si pensi.
Quando ti piace un ragazzo, ti siedi accanto a lui? Sì, lo farete.
If you’re in a crowded room, will you choose to yell a little harder so he could hear you or you’ll pull closer to him? I know that the latter is the answer.
Well, the Mr. in question doesn’t behave like that at all.
Even when you two dance, it’s never to slow music. When you meet at a restaurant or a coffee shop, he’ll choose to sit as far away from you as possible. If you’re in a car together, he’ll never put his arm on the armrest if yours is there already.
Sounds funny, I know. But pay attention to these things and if most of them are true- I’m sorry but he doesn’t want you close to him.
Mettetelo alla prova e vedete cosa succede
Make a test to see if this is true. If the two of you are standing or sitting next to each other, move an inch in his direction (but don’t allow him to notice that you’re doing it on purpose). I bet that he’ll instinctively move an inch away.
Don’t get me wrong- he’s not doing it on purpose. It’s not like you smell bad or something like that.
He’s not doing it to offend you either. He’s actually probably not even aware of his actions- it’s just an impulse he gets every time you come close.
Most of us are like that. We don’t feel comfortable with others invading our personal area.
Of course, that doesn’t include the ones we like and want to sleep with you. So I guess, this alone excludes you from that group, doesn’t it?
Non flirta mai con te
Yes, some guys suck at flirting while some are born professionals. But hey, when he’s into you and is trying to get you to sleep with him, he’ll flirt with you, in un modo o nell'altro.
It might turn out to be awkward and he might be terrible at it but he’ll give it a shot, there is no doubt about that.
He’ll tease you, he’ll make slightly inappropriate or ambiguous dirty jokes, he’ll ask you trick questions. Not only that: he’ll also go out of his way to make you laugh and to make himself look like a macho man.
But there is no flirting on sight when it comes to you and this guy. When you try to tease him or engage in some flirty behavior, he looks at you like you’ve lost your mind and probably even straightforwardly asks you if everything is okay.
He just doesn’t get it. He doesn’t take your hints and he most definitely doesn’t respond to them accordingly.
If someone overheard your conversations or read your texts, they would think that you’re definitely buddies There is no sex, love life, or flirting in your communication.
Invece, la maggior parte delle volte, tutto ciò che si fa sono chiacchiere. Si discute del tempo o di come si è trascorsa la giornata, ma sotto questi argomenti ordinari non si nasconde nulla.
Nevertheless, it’s not just the way he talks to you. To be honest, he never gave you a sexy look, never winked at you or smiled at you in some special way.
I’m not saying this man doesn’t care about you- he just doesn’t love you that way.
Non gli piace messaggiare da ubriaco
Every girl in the world knows one of the first unwritten rules of modern dating (or hookups and one night stands, to be exact): if a guy only reaches out to you wasted and after midnight- he’s got only one thing on his mind and that’s not a serious relationship.
Yes, that’s right- he’s using you as a chiamata di cortesia. He’s been partying all night but he couldn’t get lucky. Or he’s just bored at the house and can’t sleep after a heavy night of drinking.
There you are, thinking how cute it is that he remembered you when he can’t even think straight- that must be a sign of love. It’s not- it’s a call for sex.
Well, imagine how terrible things must be when you don’t even get this. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not trying to tell you that messaggi e chiamate da ubriachi in the middle of the night are goals because they’re not.
But frankly, they’re one of the biggest signs a man wants to fool around. Yes, that’s pretty much the only thing he wants to do but still, the point is that he wants to sleep with you.
On the other hand, the guy we’re talking about clearly doesn’t think of you even when his sex life is on the lowest. Tough break, I know.
Una prospettiva più luminosa
Nevertheless, look at things from a brighter perspective: at least, you know where you stand. I know you want to get nasty with this man but believe me when I tell you that you’re much better off without his drunk texts.
Actually, every relationship expert will tell you the same: everything that’s happening is not such a bad thing.
Trust me: seeing the signs he doesn’t want to sleep with you beats seeing the segni che vuole solo andare a letto con te any time. You might not see it now but with time, you’ll figure it out and you’ll be happy with the way things turned out.
Non si complimenta mai con il tuo aspetto
I know what you’re about to say: personality is what keeps someone around. It’s what makes us fall in love and what makes us stay together.
And I couldn’t agree more. You can have the hottest supermodel by your side but if you two don’t get along and don’t have any shared interests- what’s the point?
But let’s not idealize things here either. The personality gets you to stay- that’s true. But appearance is what draws the opposite sex’s attention.
Gli uomini e le donne non sono poi così diversi. Quando vuoi scoparti un ragazzosignifica che lo trovate attraente. Lo stesso vale in entrambi i casi.
Basically, what I’m trying to say is that a man who wants to sleep with you will eventually make a comment about the way you look.
No, he doesn’t have to be vulgar about it. He doesn’t have to say anything that might humiliate you.
A compliment every now and then will be enough. Yes, some guys will tell you that you look smoking hot in that dress or that they can’t get enough of looking at your sedere grande while some will be more polite and tell you that you’re exquisitely beautiful tonight.
Il punto è più o meno lo stesso: i modi in cui è stato realizzato sono diversi.
On the other hand, this guy will compliment you on other things. He will tell you what a great best friend you are or that you’re an amazing professional in your area of expertise.
Commenteranno tutto, oltre al vostro aspetto, al profumo e ad altre cose che di solito i ragazzi apprezzano.
Mi piace e commenti sui social media
Another thing to pay attention to is his social media activity. But you won’t be analyzing his posts this time- instead, you have to check out your feed.
You post a sexy selfie on your story- does he reply? He doesn’t have to say anything but does he even react with an emoji? I guess not.
Postate una foto di una schermata di Netflix. Improvvisamente, ti chiede di consigliarti dei film.
The same goes for liking and commenting on your photos and posts. He’ll rarely have any reaction to photos of you. On the other hand, he agrees with the attitudes and values you promote on your social media accounts.
He doesn’t show any signs of jealousy
Un uomo a cui piaci sessualmente essere gelosi of other guys around you. He doesn’t have to be your actual boyfriend but that won’t prevent him from hating on every male in your surroundings.
He’s threatened by them and he is also a little possessive- even though you’re technically not his. That’s what makes him a human being.
Il punto è che né le donne né gli uomini possono controllare la gelosia. Pensiamo di poterlo fare, ma si manifesta sempre.
Quindi smettetela di mentire a voi stessi dicendo che il vostro uomo è solo un professionista in fingere di non essere gelosi. Come on, he’s the one who gives you advice on your love life without a problem. And he never tells you to break up with the guy you’re seeing.
The harsh truth is that he couldn’t care less who you sleep with. He honestly wants you to find love and doesn’t see himself as a part of an equation.
Sarebbe meglio se smettesse di cercare di farlo ingelosire because it obviously won’t work.
Non si accorge delle piccole cose che vi riguardano.
As far as this man is concerned, you can cut your hair off completely, he probably wouldn’t notice until someone brought his attention to it. Once again- he doesn’t see you as his potential partner and that’s why he fails to notice little things about you.
Let me reveal a little secret to you: a man who wants to have sex with you, fantasies about the act before it takes place. It’s perfectly normal and it’s something women do as well so don’t pretend that you don’t know what I’m talking about.
Yes, he will probably pleasure himself thinking about you. But that’s not all; if he’s falling in love, sometimes, he’ll just lay in his bed, picturing you next to him.
In queste fantasie, le sue immagini di te sono molto vivide. Ti spoglia lentamente e gode all'idea di averti davanti a sé.
That’s how every single detail about your appearance gets stuck in his head. And that’s exactly why he would notice the slightest change in your looks.
But not this guy. He doesn’t pay attention to details about you and that shows il suo livello di interesse.
Non ti controlla mai
Potrebbe cercare di nascondere i propri sentimenti forever but when a guy sees a girl he’s attracted to, he can’t resist but to check her out. He won’t just glance over her- he’ll give her a detailed head-to-toe inspection.
Nevertheless, this is the man who never does that. You can be wearing your shortest and tightest skirt or your pajamas- he’ll be looking at you the same.
Contatto visivo
In fact, he doesn’t even make eye contact. When you look him deeply in the eyes, he just looks away.
Naturalmente, questo segnale da solo potrebbe significare che è timido. Maybe he is insecure and doesn’t have the confidence needed for contatto visivo prolungato.
But if it’s combined with all the other signs he doesn’t want to sleep with you, everything is pretty much out in the open.
He doesn’t treat you specially
Un segno piuttosto buono... l'uomo prova qualcosa per te is the fact he treats you way differently than his other female friends. It doesn’t have to be something huge but everyone (including you) sees that, for him, you stand out.
Potrebbe trattarsi di piccole cose, come sedersi sempre accanto a voi o raccontare una barzelletta e aspettare la vostra reazione.
But these things are nowhere to be found with your guy. To make it even worse, he doesn’t only treat you the same as all of le sue amiche donne– he treats you as if you were his guy best friend.
Nessun tempo a tu per tu
Ecco un grande segno che può aiutarvi a confermare i vostri dubbi: non inizia mai a passare del tempo a tu per tu. Al contrario, vuole sempre uscire in gruppo.
Anche quando chiedergli di uscire, he’ll invite another friend to join you two. Is it possible that he doesn’t notice all the cues?
I think not. It’s more likely that he wants to avoid an awkward situation of having to literally turn you down.
In ogni caso, il punto fondamentale è che questo ragazzo non ha alcun interesse romantico o sessuale nei vostri confronti.
È eccessivamente rispettoso
What girl doesn’t enjoy being around a perfetto gentiluomo con le buone maniere? Ma non esiste l'educazione in camera da letto.
I’m not saying that your il ragazzo deve trasformarsi in un idiota maleducato se vuole fare sesso con te. Tuttavia, il problema è che quest'uomo è eccessivamente rispettoso.
He never crosses the line- not even a tiny beat and that is starting to annoy you. It’s clear that he doesn’t sexualize you at all; which is sometimes as awful as objectifying you.
Come si fa a sapere se vuole venire a letto con te?
When a guy wants to sleep with you, he’ll make his intentions very clear.
He’ll start with obscene jokes, he’ll most definitely initiate at least some kind of physical contact, he’ll compliment your appearance and he’ll be checking you out all the way from top to bottom.
Basically, he’ll be doing everything the opposite of the signs listed above. He doesn’t have to tell you about his desires straightforwardly. But trust me- when he makes a move on you, you’ll know.
Sarà più che sufficiente che quest'uomo vi guardi direttamente negli occhi per farvi capire cosa vuole.
Let’s not forget that at the end of the day, we’re animals. We know a mating call when we see one.
7 Sad Reasons Why He Doesn’t Want To Sleep With You
Having to deal with the fact that some guy you like doesn’t want to have sex with you is a hard pill to swallow. But what if the man you’re in a committed relationship suddenly loses interest in bedroom activity?
Credetemi, questo è ancora più doloroso. Tuttavia, purtroppo, accade spesso, soprattutto nelle relazioni di lunga durata che si sono arenate.
Scoprire che qualcosa non va nella vostra relazione non è la cosa più facile da gestire.
Dopo aver trascorso tanti anni con il vostro partner, pensate che non ci sia nulla che possa scuotere il vostro rapporto, ma poi, all'improvviso, lo vedete allontanarsi da voi.
Stai cercando di avvicinarti a lui e di sedurlo ma ogni volta che provate a fare qualcosa vi interrompe, dicendo che vuole guardare un film o che è stanco.
You catch yourself worrying about why your guy doesn’t want any physical contact with you and wondering if he is still attracted to you.
You can’t live normally because this is something that is bothering you and you don’t know how to solve your problem.
Se avete vissuto un'esperienza del genere, la cosa migliore da fare è essere onesti sui propri sentimenti.
Chiedete al vostro partner cosa sta succedendo e perché si comporta in modo così distante. Anche se la risposta è negativa, almeno lo saprete.
You’ve seen all the signs he doesn’t want to sleep with you, now is time to discuss what causes your man to avoid you in the bedroom.
Se parliamo dei veri motivi per cui alcuni uomini possono diventare distanti, ecco un elenco dei più comuni.
Ha qualcun altro
This is one of the most common reasons why your man doesn’t want to sleep with you. Here is the bitter truth: when a guy doesn’t want to sleep with you, he’s probably andare a letto con un'altra persona a lato.
As rough as it might sound, he doesn’t have the physical strength or capacity for two full shifts a day.
Un rapporto sessuale meno intenso del solito può farvi pensare che il vostro uomo abbia una compagna.
Tutto l'amore e l'affetto che dovrebbe dare a voi lo sta dando a qualcun altro e voi vi sentite così in colpa.
Ti chiedi perché non sia più attratto da te e perché tu non sia abbastanza per lui.
You can’t believe that after all that you have gone through he has found someone else and that your love story doesn’t mean anything to him.
Cosa fare?
Yes, extramarital affairs are probably the number one cause for lack of sex. But that doesn’t have to mean it’s what happened to you.
That is why you should, under no circumstances, jump to any conclusions. You two already have your own share of problems so let’s not accuse your partner of doing something without any valid proof.
Ma anche se in quel momento vi sentite uno schifo, dovete reagire a ciò che vi sta accadendo.
Dovete parlare apertamente con il vostro partner, perché solo così potrete risolvere il problema.
And if you can’t find any middle ground at least you will know how to cope with all the emotions that are inside you.
Potrebbe non essere in grado di superare i problemi del passato.
Se voi e il vostro partner avete affrontato alcuni problemi in passato e avete deciso di andare avanti, forse lui ha perso interesse a venire a letto con voi perché gli fa ancora male emotivamente.
If he is not connected with you on an emotional level, he won’t be able to do that on a physical level either.
Yes, this happens to men as well. He just can’t picture himself being so close to you, after everything you two have been through.
Cosa fare?
Anche in questo caso, il modo migliore per trovare la radice del problema è una conversazione pacata.
You shouldn’t overreact immediately because he might be suffering more than you thought.
Cercate invece di avere una conversazione calma e normale come due adulti e parlate apertamente dei vostri problemi.
È l'unico modo per arrivare dove si vuole. Forse, in alcuni casi, si won’t be able to continue the relationship ma almeno saprete qual è il problema principale.
Non siete allo stesso livello emotivo di lui
Maybe your man thinks that you are not interested because your behavior doesn’t show that he is the most important person in your life. He puts you and your well-being in the first place but he feels that his love and effort are not reciprocated.
If you are always working and if you are busy with your friends, it is normal that he will think that you don’t want him like before.
Potrebbe avere una guerra nella sua testa, ma non vi dirà mai nulla al riguardo.
Quindi, quando si cerca di avvicinarsi a lui, si ritirerà immediatamente perché penserà che lo fate solo quando avete bisogno di qualcosa.
Questo può essere un motivo valido per non venire a letto con te, ma è solo perché entrambi state pensando a qualcosa che non è la verità.
Cosa fare?
La comunicazione è la chiave per una vita felice e relazione sana and if you are more open about everything that you are going through, you won’t have any problems like this.
What was the last time you two had a decent conversation? I bet even you can’t remember.
Ebbene, che ne dite di cambiare le cose? Iniziate da lì e vi assicuro che le attività in camera da letto seguiranno.
Ha problemi al lavoro ed è stressato
Credetemi, quando un uomo ha problemi di lavoro, l'intimità con voi sarà l'ultimo dei suoi pensieri. Naturalmente, questo vale anche per tutti gli altri suoi problemi.
He will think about solving the problem all the time and he won’t be able to focus on you. This is especially the case for those old-fashioned men who are used to resolving everything on their own.
Actually, this kind of guy won’t even bother you with his problems.
That’s why he won’t be interested in sleeping with you at all. Guys behave like this when they have some problems that they have to solve.
Non solo si allontaneranno fisicamente, ma anche emotivamente.
Cosa fare?
Un uomo non ammetterà mai alla sua partner di avere un problema perché pensa che questo lo renderà vulnerabile, ma in realtà solo una comunicazione aperta è il modo per risolvere qualsiasi cosa lo preoccupi.
If you notice that he doesn’t talk to you that much and that he prefers spending time alone, you should ask him if you can help.
Forse ha solo bisogno di una piccola spinta per aprirsi con te e risolvere le cose.
Ha problemi di salute
Your man may pull away from you if he has some medical problem that affects his sex drive but he doesn’t want to talk about it.
It is known that a partner often hides all their problems from their loved one because they don’t want to make them worry.
Se vedete che il vostro uomo si comporta in modo distante and that you don’t recognize him anymore, you should do something about it.
Cambiare la routine della vostra relazione o passare più tempo con lui potrebbe funzionare e lui potrebbe tornare alla vecchia versione di se stesso.
Cosa fare?
La cosa più importante è che voi siate il suo più grande sostegno in caso di problemi di salute. Tutto è molto più facile se fatto in coppia.
For starters, do your best to be full of understanding. Keep in mind that no human being’s sex drive can be at its highest unless they’re in a state of wellness and good health.
L'importante è non fare diagnosi da soli. Prima di fare qualsiasi cosa, fate una visita a un medico o a un terapista sessuale e verificate se ci sono problemi medici legati a questo problema.
Non è più attratto da voi
Uno dei motivi per cui il vostro uomo non viene a letto con voi può essere perché non è attratto da te più.
This is probably the reason you’ve been looking for, especially in case that your sexual relationship wasn’t this lousy from the beginning but nothing except your change of appearance has happened lately.
People change over time and he might be going through some phase in his life where he doesn’t know what he wants.
If he is not attracted to you because your body changed because of pregnancy, then he is a real douchebag who doesn’t deserve you.
Any guy should make a monument to the woman who gave him kids and if a man doesn’t know to cherish that, then he doesn’t deserve you.
Cosa fare?
If you are worried because of him pulling away and if he tells you that he doesn’t want you anymore, there is no need to waste your time on a man like that.
Leave him while you still can because he doesn’t deserve your presence, not even for a minute.
D'altra parte, se vi siete davvero lasciati andare, smettete con queste pratiche! Ricominciate a prendervi cura del vostro corpo e del vostro aspetto.
Of course, you won’t be doing it because of him but because it’ll make you feel better.
Soffre di ansia da prestazione
Questo è piuttosto comune quando un ragazzo sta per dormire per la prima volta with a new girl. So, if you’re at the l'inizio di una vera relazione and your sex life isn’t all butterflies and roses- your boyfriend’s performance anxiety might be the problem.
He’s so scared that he’ll let you down that he prefers not sleeping with you at all over allowing that to happen.
It’s obvious that this guy is insecure and has some serious self-esteem issues.
Cosa fare?
Tutto dipende dalla gravità del caso. A volte basta elogiare un po' di più le sue prestazioni in camera da letto.
That way, you’ll chase away all of his doubts and he’ll believe you that he’s doing a great job.
If that doesn’t succeed, he’s probably dealing with some deeply rooted traumas and issues you’re not qualified to solve. That’s why a sex therapist is your choice!
Altre insicurezze
On the other hand, maybe he’s aware that he’s a stunt in the bedroom. But did you make it clear that you want the same thing he does?
Has it ever occurred to you that this guy isn’t making the first move because he’s not so certain whether you’ll turn him down or not. In that case, you better give him a green light right now!
What Does It Mean When A Man Doesn’t Want To Sleep With You?
I won’t sugarcoat it for you. If a man displays signs he doesn’t want to sleep with you, your relationship is in a crisis (if you’re together) or he doesn’t like you that way (if you’re just getting to know each other).
Your man refusing sex is probably just a consequence of a much deeper issue he’s dealing with. His behavior might have different meanings: that he’s having an affair, that he’s stressed out, or that he’s dealing with some health problems or even performance anxiety.
Nevertheless, whatever the reason is, I want you to know one thing: this doesn’t make you any less of a woman.
Per concludere:
The most important thing to have in mind is this: A man displaying the signs he doesn’t want to sleep with you doesn’t make you any less worthy. You’re still beautiful and attractive and I’m sure you’ll find someone who’ll see you that way.
It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about your long-term boyfriend or about some dude who doesn’t give you the attention you want- this is not your fault and not something you should blame yourself for.
I’m begging you one thing only: don’t let this unfortunate situation ruin your confidence.
Most importantly: don’t feel guilty for seeing it as a problem. You’re made of flesh and blood and it’s perfectly natural for you to see sex as a huge part of every relazione sana.
