Dovreste preoccuparvi se riesce a stare un giorno senza parlarvi?

Please promise me something: while you’re reading this article, you’ll forget about your notifications. After you’re done with it, you might not want to check them either.

If the guy you’re dating hasn’t texted you all day, don’t lose sleep over it. I know what you’re fearing: he’s losing interest.

I’m here to tell you why it’s unlikely and why it’s a good thing if he can go a day without talking to you.

Cosa significa se riesce a stare un giorno senza parlare con te?

Prima di iniziare a preoccuparvi che ci siano problemi nella vostra relazione, dovete sapere che nessun contatto for a couple of days isn’t a big deal.

Unless you’re in a relazione a distanza, and your communication is rarely in person, it’s perfectly fine if you don’t talk every day (and even then, it doesn’t mean you’re not keeping in touch if you’re not constantly texting).

Ci sono molte ragioni possibili why he’s not texting o che chiamano quotidianamente, e pochi di questi sono preoccupanti (e sono facilmente riconoscibili).

1. He’s busy

Questa è la risposta numero uno e più probabile alla vostra paura. If he can go a day without talking to you, there’s a great chance that he’s simply busy.

Prima di iniziare a pensare che he’s pulling away, consider that it could be that he’s been busy. Maybe it’s been hectic at work, or he’s dealing with family issues. Maybe he had a hit of inspiration and is simply hard at work.

At the end of the day, wouldn’t you rather be with someone who has a job, interests, and hobbies of their own than someone who’s clingy and whose life revolves around you?

Something like that may be flattering at first, but there’s no happiness and future in such a relationship.

2. He’s working on himself

If he has a lot of things going on in his life, he’s constantly growing and improving himself.

A man like that is able to be a whole, mature person who can cherish his partner without projecting his own shortcomings on them. He’s emotionally capable of sviluppare una relazione sana con il proprio partner.

Una persona la cui vita è insoddisfatta potrebbe cercare una soluzione in un'altra persona. La mancanza di cose che vanno avanti nella loro vita potrebbe portarli a volersi ancorare a qualcun altro.

At first, the idea of being someone’s whole world could sound romantic, but in time, it becomes suffocating and toxic. It’s better left to (old-school) romance movies.

So go on and live your own life, and rejoice in the fact that every time you see your partner, you’re both more accomplished people than the last time you were together.

3. He’s an introvert

The man you’re dating might simply be an introvert. In fact, if he can go a day without talking to you, there’s a strong possibility of that.

Contrary to what some people may think, introverts aren’t necessarily shy or quiet. Being introverted means that even though he likes socializing, it takes a lot of energy.

Anche se amano la compagnia, gli introversi hanno bisogno di stare da soli per ricaricarsi. Parlare con qualcuno ogni giorno può essere una fatica, indipendentemente dall'importanza che l'altra persona ha per lui.

Questo si estende alla comunicazione. Se scrivete a un introverso e he doesn’t text back quickly (or at all), he’s not fantasma you, I promise. It’s just that sometimes he simply can’t.

If you’re an extrovert dating an introvert, have some patience and trust that he’s going to contact you as soon as he recharges.

4. He doesn’t like using his phone

While some people dread that “ting!” of incoming text messages, others thrive on constant interaction. If two people who have different styles of connecting like this are in a relationship, it’s helpful to establish a routine.

Tell each other what’s too infrequent, what’s enough, and what’s too much. If you’re someone who likes a “good morning” text, fateglielo sapere! If he feels stressed having to always keep his phone in his hand so he doesn’t miss a phone call, he should let you know.

In questo modo, potrete trovare un compromesso ed essere entrambi soddisfatti del livello di contatto. It’s good to remember that the solution to all relationship confusion and doubt is communication.

5. Preferisce la comunicazione faccia a faccia

We all have our preferred way of keeping in contact with others. Your significant other maybe isn’t always available and perhaps only replies to your texts the next day, but that doesn’t have to mean that you don’t have a good relationship.

Before you start worrying, “why doesn’t he text me every day?” consider that your boyfriend might simply rather talk to you in person.

It’s important that you establish good communication when you meet face to face. Phone calls and texts can cause problems anyway. Without seeing (or even hearing) the other person, many communication cues are missing, and misunderstandings are easy.

6. It’s still early in the relationship

Maybe you just started dating, and if he’s showing you that he can go a day without talking to you, maybe he’s just trying not to seem desperate.

New relationships are fragile. You’re still feeling each other out, trying to find your legs and figure out how things are going to work. You like each other, but you still don’t know how (and how much) to show it.

Maybe you’re checking each other’s social media but not liking every pic. You both might feel like talking the whole day, but your partner isn’t sure how it would come across.

Se volete parlare con lui, siate un po' impavidi. Saying “Ti amo” early in a relationship might be too much, but if you want to contact him, go ahead and send that text!

7. He’s holding back

Even if you’ve been dating for a long time, he can still be holding back. Sometimes, as we feel una relazione sta per diventare seria or move to the next level, we might feel a need to step back a bit so that we’re able to examine our feelings and plan our next move.

This might be his first time in a situation where he’s considering taking a relationship to the next level, and he’s being careful. This is a good thing. It shows that it’s important to him and that he isn’t careless with his feelings.

It’s not just you wondering and having doubts. We all have insecurities, and as we get closer to people, it’s easier to open up and share them. A good idea would be to talk to him (face to face) but give him time if he needs it.

+1 motivo di bonus

Forse ha perso il cellulare! O gli è caduto lo schermo.

I’ve added this point just to sneak this in one more time: there’s nothing to worry about if he can go a day without talking to you! If you’ve read the article so far, I hope I managed to lessen your worries a little bit.

Especially because of what we’ll be talking about next.

È normale che una coppia stia un giorno senza parlare? (L'altra prospettiva)

Now that we’ve gone through the most likely reasons he can go a day without talking to you, let’s quickly examine some less comforting points.

I assume that the reason you Googled this is because you’re wondering, “If he’s not texting me, is he losing interest? Is there something wrong? Is there someone else?”

There’s a much bigger chance that the answer to the lack of contact is in one of the items above.

Even so, let’s step out of our comfort zone, rip off the band-aid, and try to see what else could be going on (but I’ll make sure to offer ideas on how to deal with it every step of the way).

• Distance?

If you disregard calls and texts, is he feeling otherwise distant? I’m sure this is something that’s easy to figure out. If he’s being purposefully distant, this may be a sign that he’s losing interest.

If he is losing interest, sadly, there isn’t anything you can do. We can’t make anyone like us, and, even though it may be painful, I think it’s better to know as soon as possible.

The less you’re involved, the less you get hurt, and in this case, my advice is to lasciar perdere. Wait to be sure that he’s pulling away and that it’s not something else, and go about your business. Dirigere le proprie energie altrove renderà le cose un po' più facili.

On the other hand, if the way the both of you are in your relationship is otherwise consistent, it’s probably nothing. Are you still going on dates and feel included in each other’s lives? Se si tratta di un caso in cui tutto è normale, ma non ci sono messaggi, potete rilassarvi.

• Problems?

There are two possibilities here: there’s an issue with your relationship, and he either doesn’t want to deal with it or doesn’t know how to handle it.

If he isn’t interested in solving problems that might have popped up, the relationship may not be as important to him as you might hope, or he doesn’t know what the best course of action to take is.

La chiave è la motivazione. Tutti gli esseri umani sono imperfetti e molti di noi sono sprovveduti quando si tratta di altre persone.

In this case, think about your experience with him so far. Does he seem like a person who doesn’t care about your relationship, or is he just ill-equipped to handle it?

Maybe it’s something he’s not sure about, or he’s wondering what approach to take. In questo caso, probabilmente ha solo bisogno di tempo. Il vostro compito in questa situazione è quello di dimostrargli la vostra disponibilità a comunicare, a risolvere i vostri problemi e a lavorare sulla vostra relazione.

• Anger?

Is there a possibility that he’s angry with you for some reason? If the guy you’re dating is upset with you, and their way of dealing with it is to ignore you, it might be a red flag.

La comunicazione è necessaria per avere un relazione sana, so if you notice signs of anger, but he never mentions why he’s angry, he’s either stewing or waiting to cool off.

Forse si tratta di un uomo che ha difficoltà a parlare dei propri sentimenti, buoni o cattivi che siano. Può essere difficile raggiungere una persona del genere e incoraggiarla a comunicare. Un modo collaudato è quello di farlo attraverso le azioni.

Fate qualcosa di carino per lui, ma ricordategli (gentilmente) che in una relazione la cosa più matura è parlare apertamente di ciò che vi preoccupa. A simple “talk to me” is often enough to make a person open up.

• Playing games?

Alcune persone si divertono con i giochi di spinta e di trazione. Per loro metà del divertimento nelle relazioni sta nel giocare a caldo e a freddo. They’re not sms or calling because it’s a part of their strategy.

He tells you he loves you, then doesn’t call you on Valentine’s Day. He calls you their best friend, but on your day off, he’s “with the dudes.” When you ask him to help out with something, his coworker’s cactus suddenly needs watering.

Se he’s playing games, it’s up to you to decide if you want to go along with it. In my opinion, this isn’t a good sign that a relationship is going to progress into something substantial.

On the other hand, if you’re interested in something temporary and casual, you might find a thrill in him keeping you on your toes.

Tuttavia, bisogna riconoscere che chi ama farlo lo fa di solito per stabilire una certa dinamica di relazione e potrebbero avere in mente solo i propri interessi.

• Seeing someone else?

A seconda di what stage of the relationship you’re in, as well as what kind of relationship it is, seeing other people might not be a problem. Maybe he’s not texting because he’s spending time with someone else.

If you’ve just gone out a couple of times, it’s reasonable to expect that he might be dating others. You most likely are too. Maybe last time you saw each other, you had a good date, yet he never followed up with a text or call. In this case, it’s a good idea for you to reach out.

If you’re in a more relazione seriae si scopre che c'è qualcun altro, il mio primo suggerimento, come sempre, è di parlarne con lui. La vostra relazione è impegnata ed esclusivo?

Does he know whether or not it bothers you if he’s seeing other people?

If your significant other is seeing another person and knows that it’s hurting you, you have a difficult decision to make. Consigli per gli appuntamenti isn’t helpful in this situation.

Some people can handle this and forgive – for others, this is a deal-breaker. Regardless of which kind of person you are, put yourself and your feelings first. Think carefully and do whatever will end up hurting you the least.

Cosa fare in attesa di quel messaggio

Now that we’ve got the hard part out of the way, I still maintain that the most likely reason he’s not sms is that he’s just busy.

In situazioni che hanno molte ragioni possibili, come questa, fidatevi del vostro istintoMa credo che la preoccupazione e l'ansia debbano essere l'ultima risposta. If he can go a day without talking to you, it’s not a problem.

Let’s say you gli ha mandato un messaggio, and there’s still no reply. You may be on read, or he never even opened the text. Whichever the case, you’ve decided it’s his turn, and now you wait.

I’m sure you know all these things I’m about to mention, but I think it’s good to be reminded of this from time to time.

Ecco alcune idee su come trascorrere il tempo fino a quando non vi contatterà. (Attenzione: potreste dimenticare di aver mandato quel messaggio).

• Consider this a good chance to evaluate yourself. Scrivere un diario, rivedere vecchie foto e pensare alle vostre relazioni passate può darvi un indizio su come far prosperare questa relazione. Fate qualcosa che vi piaceva fare da bambini.

• Prioritize your well-being, feelings, and mental health. The old saying “amare se stessi” is cliché but indisputable. No one should go through life without being their own favorite person. Do good things for yourself. Go to the gym. Play with your pet. Re-read your favorite book.

• Spend time with your loved ones. Strengthen relationships you already have in your life. Give and ask for support. Nurture connections with the people you love. Visit a family member or a friend you haven’t seen in a while and recall the reasons why they’re important to you.

• Focus on your goals in life. Maybe you have work goals, or you might want to become better at your hobby. Perhaps your goal is to learn something new. Regardless, working on something you’re interested in will make you feel satisfied. It takes both a sense of enjoyment and accomplishment to essere felici nella vita.

• Find one or more ways to relax. Take a walk in nature, do some yoga, enjoy a hot bath or simply sleep – whatever helps you chill is the way to go. Everyday stress is hard on all of us, especially when we’re looking for love. We easily forget that unless we’re content with our lives, attracting good people into it isn’t going to be easy.

In chiusura

Maybe the man you’re dating is a busy introverso che ama parlare faccia a faccia e cerca di non apparire troppo impaziente. Se riesce a stare un giorno senza parlarvi, questi sono i motivi più probabili.

Nevertheless, there are some signs that he’s not texting because there are issues. Scroll back up to check them out and learn how to deal with them.

Whatever the reason, don’t forget to take care of yourself. Appreciate yourself, and don’t shy away from asking for help and chiedere ciò che si vuole.