8 modi per dare spazio a qualcuno e mantenerlo al vostro fianco

Vi state chiedendo come dare spazio a qualcuno senza perderlo?

Don’t worry because here’s everything you need to know about the benefits of giving someone space in a relationship, along with the best ways to do it!

Ogni relazione arriva al punto in cui uno o entrambi i partner iniziano ad avere bisogno di spazio.

If it’s not you but your partner who needs space in your relationship, I understand the feeling of confusion and the fear of losing them as a consequence of giving them the needed space.

I used to think the same but over time, I realized that giving space to each other in a relationship is the best thing I’ve ever done.

So, I can tell you for sure that there’s nothing you should worry about because needing space is a natural occurrence in every relationship and it’s not something you should fear.

Instead, you should embrace it! Now you’re probably wondering why so here’s why!

Molte persone pensano che il concetto di dare spazio in una relazione sia la cosa peggiore che possa capitare loro o un'altra parola per indicare una rottura.

Ma la verità è l'opposto.

Giving each other space is a remedy that will change your perspective, wipe everything that’s (potentially) toxic in your relationship and give you an opportunity for a fresh start.

Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationship is broken.

If you notice that your partner is pulling away and if they tell you, “I need space,” it just means that.

It doesn’t mean that they are initiating a rottura o di guadagnare tempo mentre si è alla ricerca di qualcun altro.

Significa che hanno bisogno di una pausa. Hanno bisogno di un po' di tempo da soli e di un po' di spazio per ricaricarsi, per concentrarsi sulla propria vita e per pensare alla direzione che sta prendendo la vostra relazione.

And that’s exactly what you need, too!

By giving your partner space, you will also have your own space and the right amount of time to think about your significant other, future decision-making and, most importantly, you’ll have time to do your own things that will cleanse your body and soul, which is a prerequisite of every healthy relationship.

Giving each other space doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll become strangers when you make decisions to stop texting or calling each other or seeing each other for some time.

Al contrario, questa pratica può rendere la vostra relazione ancora più forte, perché vi darà l'opportunità di schiarirvi le idee, di sentire la mancanza dell'altro e di pensare a ciò che volete davvero!

So, there’s no need to torture yourself with thinking: Tornerà se gli lascio spazio? O tornerà se le lascio spazio?

Of course, there’s always a chance that they won’t come back but this greatly depends on how you’re giving them space and their intentions as well.

However, you shouldn’t be worried about this one as well because you know what they say: ‘If you love something, let it go’.

If it was meant to be, it will come back to you’.

Summarized, if it’s meant to be, they will surely come back and you will reunite again and be stronger than ever!

So, there’s no need to worry about the outcome and the only thing you should focus on is learning how to give someone space and keep them by your side.

And here’s how you’ll do it!

COME DARE SPAZIO A QUALCUNO

Dare spazio al proprio partner è molto più che smettere di vedersi.

It’s also about focusing on yourself and your free time, thinking about how to improve your love life, spending quality time with your friends and family, re-evaluating why you’re in a relationship with your partner in the first place and similar.

1. Smettete di mandargli messaggi e di chiamarli

The biggest mistake that many partners make in relationships is thinking that the more they text or call their partner, the more they’ll think of them and miss them.

But it’s actually the opposite. The more you’re doing all that, the more they’ll feel trapped in a cage just like a bird that is thirsty for freedom.

Potreste continuare a inviare messaggi di testo al vostro partner per tutta la vita senza mai fare una pausa, ma questo non vi porterà nulla di buono.

At the end of the day, the only thing they’ll think of is the need for space and not you.

Quindi, quando si tratta di dare spazio al partner, la prima cosa da fare è smettere di mandargli messaggi e telefonate!

Trust me, the no contact rule is your best friend in this situation and it’s also some of the best relationship advice you’ll ever get!

Quando smetterete di mandargli messaggi e di chiamarli, si sentiranno di nuovo liberi e sicuramente inizieranno a sentire la vostra mancanza! Perché?

Perché si sente la mancanza di qualcuno per la sua assenza e non per la sua presenza.

When you’re no longer in touch with each other, you basically have no idea what is going on in each other’s lives.

You can only assume. And that’s when you start thinking about how they’re spending their day, what they’re doing in their free time and similar.

Quindi, dare spazio alla propria fidanzata/al proprio fidanzato smettendo di mandare messaggi e di chiamarli, darà loro abbastanza spazio per poterlo fare. è il momento di resettare (se la tua ragazza/il tuo ragazzo è un po' insicuro sui suoi sentimenti) e di iniziare a sentire la tua mancanza!

Vedi anche: 7 Signs He Misses You During The “No Contact” Period

2. Smettere di perseguitarli sui social media

Speaking from personal experience, I understand how hard it is to stop stalking your partner on social media during no contact because it’s the only way to stay in touch with them.

You literally wait for their next post, you’re the first one to press ‘Like’ or comment and then you wait for the next post, story or any type of activity that will give you the feeling that you’re an active part of their life.

Now, I’m not saying that you’re not an active part of their life but in this case, where you want to give them some space, you should become a little bit passive and stop stalking them on social media.

Because the more you’re giving them likes, commenting and waiting for their activities on social media and trying to reach them virtually, the more you’re making them feel trapped.

Inoltre, seguire ogni loro mossa sui social media fa male anche alla vostra salute mentale.

Per non parlare dei possibili scoppi di gelosia dovuti a qualche malinteso o simili.

So, instead of doing that, you should focus on the things happening in your life because that’s the only way to create balance in your relationship and life in general.

3. Fare le proprie cose

Instead of texting, calling them or stalking them on social media, focus on doing your own thing! I bet it’s been a while since you did something solely for yourself.

When you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you tend to lose a sense of your true self because you only focus on the activities that will benefit both of you.

And now is the time to change that. You need to reach your inner self again by asking yourself what are the things you used to enjoy but haven’t done in a while.

You need to focus on reconnecting with your friends and family, watching your favorite TV shows (I’m pretty sure there are some that you couldn’t watch with your partner), you need to find your passions again and do things that motivate you and inspire you.

Facendo le vostre cose, è meno probabile che pensiate a quello che sta facendo il vostro partner.

It’s the best distraction method that simply works every time!

Invece di aspettare accanto al telefono e pensare se sia il caso di mandare un messaggio o meno, usate questo tempo per concentrarvi sul miglioramento di voi stessi.

Hit the gym, explore the benefits of a holistic lifestyle, read about your favorite topics, start guitar lessons or some online lessons that you’re interested in.

There are so many things you can do and I’m sure you’ll succeed in finding what works best for you!

4. Lasciarsi andare a tutte quelle sensazioni di panico

Uno degli errori più grandi che si possono commettere quando si dà spazio a qualcuno è cercare di sopprimere tutti quei sentimenti di panico e disagio che si hanno dentro.

Se lo si fa, ci si può danneggiare seriamente fino a diventare eccessivamente aggressivi o a sviluppare disturbi ossessivo-compulsivi.

Quindi, invece di reprimere i vostri sentimenti e ignorarli, lasciatevi andare a sentirli tutti!

Be them negative or positive, you need to accept those feelings because they are a part of your being and they are a part of the situation you’re in.

And it’s totally okay to feel this way!

It’s totally okay to be annoyed as fuck and wanting to destroy everything around you because you have no idea what is going on in your partner’s life but trust me, everything is in your head!

If you’re convinced that you’re headed for a breakup and you constantly think of the worst so try to reach them and tell them that they shouldn’t do it, then the chances are bigger that it will happen.

And not because it should’ve happened but because you did it to yourself by not giving them enough space.

So, let yourself feel all of those panicky feelings, accept them and understand that it’s normal to feel that way and that you shouldn’t react upon them.

E posso assicurarvi che passerà prima di quanto pensiate!

Vedi anche: Se reprimete le vostre emozioni, dovreste leggere questo articolo

5. Understand that you can’t control their decisions

The urge to be in control of your relationship’s destiny forces you to constantly have the uncontrollable desire to reach your partner, to tell them how you see things from your perspective and to convince them that what you’re thinking is right.

Out of fear that you’ll lose them, you become desperate and try to do things you normally wouldn’t.

And that’s why it’s important to understand that you can’t control your partner’s decisions and vice versa.

I loro pensieri, le loro prospettive e le loro azioni appartengono a loro proprio come i vostri e quindi non potete controllarli.

Le uniche cose che potete controllare sono i vostri pensieri, le vostre prospettive e le vostre azioni.

Una volta accettato il fatto che non avete alcuna influenza sulle loro decisioni, sarà più facile per voi affrontare l'intera situazione del dare spazio.

Dovete tenere presente che la loro percezione della vostra relazione è diversa dalla vostra.

Perhaps they’re not satisfied with the amount of affection, effort or respect in the relationship and they would want to change that, while in your eyes, everything’s just fine.

And perhaps there’s nothing wrong with your relationship but they just want some time and space for themselves and no matter what they decide after a timeout, you shouldn’t worry about it at all! Why?

Because everything happens for a reason and there’s no point in forcing things to go in your direction.

Potete controllare voi stessi e la vostra mentalità, quindi concentratevi su di essi.

Focus on becoming the best version of yourself and whatever happens, you’ll know that you did your best.

6. Valutare la propria relazione

Imparare a dare spazio a qualcuno significa anche valutare la propria relazione.

Il periodo di non contatto is a perfect time to learn about what’s lacking in your relationship (if anything) and if there’s something that needs to be improved!

Per saperne di più sulla vostra relazione, pensate a porvi le seguenti domande:

– What do I want from my partner?

– Will I be able to reciprocate?

– Am I happy in the relationship?

– What are some things that need to be changed in the relationship?

– Is it possible to change them?

– Would I be happier if I was single?

By asking yourself these questions, you will define what’s really going on in your relationship and it will be easier for you to understand what to do next.

Also, you will not judge your partner’s opinions and decisions because you’ll have better insight into the situation.

Vedi anche: Perché gli uomini hanno bisogno di spazio in una relazione e come affrontarlo

7. Prendere decisioni per se stessi

After you’ve evaluated the situation, it’s time to make decisions for yourself!

Instead of constantly thinking and overthinking about your partner’s decisions, you should focus on making your own! Why?

Because it’s the only way to know what you really want and need. Constantly relying on what your partner wants puts you in a passive position in the whole story.

Dovete essere parte attiva della vostra vita. Dovete sapere cosa volete davvero e cosa vi meritate davvero.

Quindi, aspettare che sia il partner a decidere per entrambi lo mette in controllo della situazione.

Questo li rende superiori a voi e al vostro stato di dipendenza dalla loro volontà.

Non dovreste mai permettere che ciò accada.

Dovete concentrarvi sulle vostre decisioni che vi saranno utili.

Dovreste fare ciò che ritenete sia meglio per voi (anche se ciò significa prendere strade diverse).

I understand that such decisions are easier said than done but it’s always better to be single than to be afraid of making your own choices for the sake of not disappointing your partner or similar.

Siate onesti con voi stessi. Guardate le cose con un certo grado di razionalità e decidete di fare ciò che pensate sia meglio per voi, per il vostro partner e per la vostra relazione.

And while you’re thinking about all that, don’t forget to enjoy things and spoil yourself with a long bubble bath, your favorite alcoholic beverage and other little joys of life.

Decidete di essere parte attiva del vostro amore vita and life in general instead of only relying on your partner’s will.

Decidete di diventare il creatore della vostra felicità e vedrete come le cose cambieranno gradualmente.

8. Accogliere il risultato

Quando si lascia spazio a qualcuno, possono accadere due cose: Vi ricongiungerete o, per qualche motivo, prenderete strade diverse.

Se fate tutto questo, posso quasi garantirvi che vi riunirete prima di quanto pensiate, come se nulla fosse accaduto, e che il vostro rapporto sarà più forte che mai.

Ma in alcuni casi, in cui la radice del bisogno di spazio è più grave, una relazione è destinata a fallire e uno dei due partner inizia a rompere.

Ora, voglio che capiate una cosa:

Qualunque cosa accada, avete vinto!

If you reunite again after a timeout, congratulations! Your relationship will become stronger, more resilient and you’ll understand why you needed some space in the first place.

But if your partner concludes that your relationship is doomed and that there’s no point in fighting for it, or better said, if they disappear into thin air and you never hear from them again, you also win! Why?

Because it wasn’t meant to be and there’s no point in forcing something that will never work as it should.

Perché la loro decisione vi ha appena fatto risparmiare tonnellate di tempo ed energia.

Perché vi hanno dato la possibilità di trovare la persona giusta per voi e di essere di nuovo felici.

You see, whatever happens, you win! So, there’s no need to be afraid of giving them some space!

It’s the only way to find out whether you’re meant to be or if they’re just a chapter in your book called Life.

Vedi anche: Ha bisogno di spazio o è finita (7 modi per capirlo)