Quello che ho imparato dalla mia amica che ha subito abusi dal suo partner

I have a friend whom I’ve known practically my entire life. We knew each other from school and we lived close to each other, so we always hung out together. It wasn’t until college that we became great friends.

È super intelligente, sarcastica, spiritosa e bellissima. Ha sempre avuto una lingua tagliente ed era la ragazza più divertente ad ogni incontro.

Inoltre, aveva una relazione stabile a lungo termine. La sua vita era tutto ciò che avevo sempre desiderato per me.

I remember one day we were having a latté in our favourite cafe and she said that her boyfriend is near, driving around in his car and that she is just going to give him kiss hello. 

I remember thinking and saying to her,“Omg, that’s super cute.”

As time passed, we started becoming really close friends. I told her that she has the greatest life ever: “You are beautiful, finishing up college, everyone likes you, and you are in this great relationship full of understanding and trust.” She kind of smirked when I said that.

On another occasion, we went for a jog and her boyfriend, whom I still hadn’t met, called her and asked where we were going.

I made a joke and took her phone and said, “We’re going out with these handsome guys from university.” I noticed how uncomfortable she was.

I don’t recall what happened in between; she graduated and I still had two more semesters, so I went back to university and she called me,saying they’d broken up.

Mi ha detto tutto in una specie di codice, come se avesse paura di parlare al telefono.

Quando sono tornato a casa mi ha confessato tutto. Tutta la sua relazione era una menzogna. Era una persona estremamente gelosa e aggressiva.

Remember the time he stopped by to “kiss” her, well he was just controlling her. And that time I made a joke about the guys from uni, well, he didn’t believe her and slapped her because of it. 

Mi ha raccontato di tonnellate di situazioni in cui lui era geloso e paranoico e la picchiava a sangue solo perché lo riteneva giusto.

Le chiesi come facesse ad apparire così bella e felice davanti ai nostri amici e lei rispose che quando era tra noi, viveva la vita che voleva.

La sua relazione è durata a lungo. Ha detto che aveva paura di rompere con lui perché minacciava di uccidere se stesso o la sua famiglia e lei. 

Le ha fatto il lavaggio del cervello e lei aveva paura di dirlo a qualcuno.

At one point she was afraid to ask him to go to the movies and see the new James Bond film just because he might think that she is “in love with the actor,” then freak out and hurt her physically. 

Eventually, he broke up with her although she played by his rules. He was obviously mental and he couldn’t cope with himself anymore.

She was finally saved although she wanted to even get back together with him – classical Stockholm syndrome. Luckily, he moved away and she realized that freedom is the most important thing in life for her.

She thought she’d never find anyone again. Her self esteem was shot and she’d completely lost faith in men, but she fell in love again with the greatest guy ever to whom I introduced her.

Finalmente è felice e vive la vita che ha sempre desiderato.

A volte mi sorprendo a lamentarmi di qualche ragazzo a caso che mi ha ferito e ha abbassato la mia autostima, poi penso a lei e smetto di lamentarmi.

È una persona così buona e forte ed è riuscita a superare tutto questo solo perché credeva nell'amore e nel fatto che ci sono persone buone là fuori.