Come capire un uomo? Consigli di coppia che cambiano le carte in tavola

We always hear it… the famous phrase ”Gli uomini sono così semplici.” We lead our lives believing this lie and confining men within the boundaries of their gender.

Did you forget that they’re human beings first? Sono complesse come tutte noi donne.

What do I mean by this? How can you understand a man? How can you know he’s the one for you?

So many questions and the answers seem so out of reach… but they’re not. If you keep reading, you will have them all… and much more!

How Do You Read A Man’s Mind?

You can’t read a man’s mind any more than they can read yours.

We’re not sorcerers with superpowers, just human beings who can’t know what the other is feeling unless we ask them.

Yes, that’s right. If you want to know a man’s thoughts, there is no other way but to openly comunicare con loro.

I know that scares you because we are used to repressing our feelings and acting like they don’t matter. But, they do. Your peace of mind is of primary importance, and it’s actually your duty to achieve it.

So, the next time you’re having doubts about a man, share them. What’ve you got to lose? L'unico risultato potrebbe essere una relazione più affettuosa (a meno che he’s too immature).

If you’re not in a relationship, though, you can still follow the same principle. Communication is ALWAYS key.

RELATIVO: Che cosa significa quando ti chiama "tesoro" (13 possibili ragioni)?

Come capire un uomo? Consigli da tenere a mente

Per capire un uomo sono necessarie due cose: una mente aperta e l'empatia. Don’t stick to your old beliefs but rather expand your horizons and truly try to understand what’s hiding beneath the surface.

Now that we’ve established that, here’s what you need to know about the true nature of a man and how you need to act with him:

Nato per essere il vostro supereroe

Avete notato quanto un uomo si diverta a sistemare le cose per voi?

Avete notato quanto è appagato quando si prende cura di voi?

Ebbene, questo si chiama istinto dell'eroe.

In sostanza, agli uomini viene insegnato che il loro ruolo nella vita è quello di essere il vostro custode. Quando non possono aiutarvi in tutti i modi che desiderate, si sentono dei falliti.

Voci del passato risuonano nelle loro orecchie e dicono loro: ”One day, you’re going to get married, and you’re going to have to provide for your wife.”

It’s difficult to abandon your core beliefs. What they tell men in childhood, that’s who they’re going to be. And I’m sure we know what’s expected of each gender.

Even when they know how wrong these expectations are, it is still engraved in their minds, and they can’t just change overnight.

Quando cercate di capire un uomo, tenete presente questo aspetto e aiutatelo a superarlo. Ma non assecondate in alcun modo i suoi grandiosi desideri di essere il vostro eroe. Voi siete l'eroe di voi stessi. Non dimenticatelo mai.

È venuto, ha visto, ha conquistato

What men want most is victory. It doesn’t matter what the final prize is as long as they have it. It can be a job promotion…or you.

Perché è importante?

Well, it’s because the things men do aren’t without an explanation or cause. And, if they have a cause, they can be stopped.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Being ambitious and wanting to win is great. However, if this becomes their primary drive in life, that’s a problem.

You wouldn’t want to be one of his prizes, right? I’m sure you had another label in mind.

Well, then understand that this, too, stems from the childhood stories they listened to. You can help him understand that it’s okay to take it slow sometimes and that losing won’t make him weak.

Encourage him to be his best self but also remind him that he has nothing to prove and that he’s enough as he is.

Un libro chiuso

Gli uomini tendono a nascondere i propri sentimenti, but no, it’s not in their nature. It’s the result of a traumatic upbringing that made them learn to invalidate themselves.

You will never hear them complain. They solve their issues internally without your help. They might even call you dramatic for expressing your feelings, but they secretly hate that they’re not as brave as you.

Cosa si può fare?

Cominciate ad aprirvi con lui. Fategli capire che vulnerabilità emotiva isn’t such a frightening thing. Then, encourage him to do the same.

You don’t have to do this directly. You can do it through your actions. Ma non ridicolizzatelo in nessun caso se esprime le sue emozioni.

Piuttosto fategli delle domande e dimostrategli che lo capite. Lo aiuterete entrambi e renderete il vostro rapporto più significativo.

Men don’t have to be ‘manly’

Are you the type of woman who judges a man when he’s emotional?

Do you tell him he’s weak?

If so, I hate to break it to you, but that’s not the wisest choice of words. It just lo fa sentire insicuro, so don’t be surprised if you start fighting or if he distances himself.

All their lives, men hear how they have to ‘toughen up.’ They aren’t even allowed to have a bad day without someone telling them that’s not a very ‘manly thing’ to do.

Alla fine, questo diventa il loro unico desiderio, e questo si chiama mascolinità tossica.

Well, guess what? It is the right of each man and woman to embrace their feelings. Neither is supposed to be only ‘manly’ or only ‘feminine.’

Men are not from Mars, and women are not from Venus. Men don’t have to like video games, and women don’t have to be fragile. They are both allowed to mix it up.

After all, we’re human, aren’t we? Our gender doesn’t matter much. So, the next time you feel like you’re about to utter something so hurtful, stop and think it through.

Wanting to understand a man isn’t the same thing as carefully observing what made him who he is and gently remedying the harmful effects.

What’s in the box?

Well, it’s not the remains of Brad Pitt’s wife, but neither is your man.

So che volete che vi riveli la verità. Come si fa a capire davvero un uomo? Ma l'unica verità è questa: Each man is different, and you can’t put them in a single box.

Alcuni sono maschi alfa, altri timidi. Alcuni si avvicinano solo per giocare con voi, altri vogliono impegnarsi.

They DO NOT possess the same wishes and needs as many have made you believe. If you can’t figure your man out, try talking to him. Or, simply analyze what’s there in front of you.

Don’t hold onto stereotypes because, trust me, they will not help you. You will only end up feeding your mind with falsehoods, which will make you unnecessarily miserable.

Invece, affidatevi alle vostre capacità di pensiero critico, all'intuito e all'empatia.

Remember – Anche se ci sono alcune somiglianze, proprio come con le donne, ogni uomo è un individuo. Trattateli come tali.

Vedi anche: Un uomo può andare a letto con una donna senza sviluppare sentimenti?

Come si fa a farsi capire da un uomo?

Well, you can’t magically achieve that.

Siete entrambi adulti e perfettamente in grado di risolvere la situazione. Quindi, invece di lamentarvi di lui con le vostre amiche e di cercare risposte su internet, fate così:

• Calmly explain to him why you’re upset.

• Remember that you’re seeking a solution, not more problems.

• Listen to his side of the story.

• Both of you clearly state your needs.

• Take accountability for your actions.

• Actively work to become better partners.

Se si dispone di un partner evitante, though, you’re going to have to approach the matter with a little more caution and empathy.

Come capire se un uomo fa per voi?

We all have our doubts. It’s not strange to question the love we have for someone or the love someone has for us.

So, if you’re unsure whether the guy in front of you is the right one, here are some signs that will help you with that:

1. Non c'è bisogno di fingere.

So che spesso sopprimete parti di voi stesse per attirare gli uomini. Ma, quando finalmente trovate una buonaNon c'è bisogno di questo.

Non ci sono segnali contrastanti, and you are finally able to be who you are, and so is he. You celebrate each other’s differences and enjoy what you have in common.

Le vostre battute vengono sempre capite, i vostri sentimenti non vengono mai giudicati e ogni vostra parola viene custodita come un vangelo.

Questi sono tutti segnali che un uomo ti ama veramente.

2. Emozione imperitura.

I’m sure you’ve all felt it…the overwhelming enthusiasm that their presence brings. You can’t get the smile off of your face. It lights up each second you’re with him.

Si percepisce che he’s attracted to you. La chimica è impareggiabile e la contatto visivo prolungato makes you feel like this is what you’ve been waiting for all your life. Il suo linguaggio del corpo says it, too. Also, you can’t wait to choose a perfectly nome di contatto del fidanzato carino per lui.

He’s not one to change after the honeymoon phase but rather makes the whole relationship a fase di luna di miele.

That’s how you know he’s the right man for you.

3. Una mente che rifiuta tutti gli altri.

Do you know that line from Lana Del Rey’s song: ‘‘Why wait for the best when I could have you?”

Well, if you’ve found a high-value guy, you know exactly what she’s talking about.

When that happens, you don’t care that piaci al tuo collega né che il tuo amico maschio è segretamente innamorato di te. You don’t see any of them.

You feel like you’ve found what you’ve been looking for for so long. Why, then, would you look elsewhere?

4. Amicizia infuocata.

If you’re in a long-term relationship, I’m sure you’ll agree with me that friendship is what truly makes it special. Yes, attrazione fisica is important, but that’s not what makes it last.

If you’re not able to have fun as friends and share intimate thoughts with each other, then what’s the point?

So, if you’ve found a true friend in a man, I assure you that you’ve also found the perfect partner.

5. Un'anima che riconosce ciò che ha cercato.

Si percepisce davvero quando un uomo è giusto per noi, a volte anche dopo il primo appuntamento. C'è un legame inspiegabile che nessuno e niente riesce a spezzare. Per la prima volta nella vostra vita, vi sentite sicure e comprese.

With other guys, there were always barriers you never dared to cross, but with him, those barriers don’t exist. You are drawn to each other to the point where you merge. If you feel this way, that’s your sign.

P.S. If you still haven’t found a guy who has made you feel the things described above, try reading ”To Date a Man, You Must Understand a Man: The Keys to Catch a Great Guy (Dating and Relationship Advice for Women).’’

Another great book to help you understand a man better is ”Power Texting Men,” and both are written by Gregg Michaelsen, a relationship expert.

In questo modo, aumenterete le possibilità di instaurare una relazione seria con un uomo.

Come si fa a far capire a un uomo che ha commesso un errore?

Beh, diglielo e basta.

How can he realize that he made a mistake if you don’t let him know? You can’t be mad with someone over something they have no clue about.

Questo è uno degli errori più grandi che le donne commettono. Dimenticano che una buona comunicazione è segno di una relazione sana. Perciò, siate voi a metterlo in pratica. Parlatene e vedete dove sta il problema.

If he refuses to accept the blame even after all your efforts, then I’m afraid that’s a major red flag. If he doesn’t respect you enough to take your feelings into consideration, he is just bad news.

Mi dispiace dirglielo, ma la cosa migliore da fare è andarsene.

On the other hand, if he’s willing to put in the necessary work to remedy what he has done, he’s an uomo emotivamente maturo che dovreste sempre avere a cuore.

Come si fa a far sentire la propria mancanza a un ragazzo?

Siete desiderosi di riconquistare il vostro ex? Oppure, avete una cotta per un ragazzo che ha improvvisamente smesso di mandarti messaggi?

Se dipendesse da me, le direi che un ragazzo che ti rifiuta isn’t worthy of your efforts.

But, since it’s not, I am here to show you that not all hope is lost. Here are some pieces of dating advice that will make him rush back to you immediately:

Essere l'anima della festa

Per qualche strana ragione, i ragazzi spesso prendere le distanze dopo l'intimità, so if you want him to miss you, you have to show him that you’re having a great time without him.

So, go out with your friends, travel to new cities, and post pictures to show him that you don’t really need him. Also, don’t text him and he will text you.

Si rivolgerà a voi per due motivi:

1. He can’t stand that you’ve forgotten all about him.

2. He’s attracted to your energetic spirit and wants to be a part of your life.

In ogni caso, si vince.

RELATIVO: 14 cose intelligenti da fare quando lui non risponde ai messaggi per giorni

Sfruttare il vecchio fascino

A volte gli uomini si allontanano perché Ho solo bisogno di un po' di spazio. It’s not necessarily over. But, we don’t have time for such analysis.

If you want to win him back, it’s essential that you accentuare tutto ciò che lo ha fatto innamorare di voi in primo luogo.

Era la vostra personalità giocosa? Oppure, era il vostro carattere schietto?

Whatever it was, make sure that you bring back the old you to help you seduce him. Join forces and remind him of what he lost. He’ll come right back knocking at your door!

Or, if you’re too impatient, just ditegli che vi piace. You’ve got nothing to lose.

Dimostrategli che avete delle opzioni

Forse he doesn’t want a relationship with you in questo momento, ma può ancora essere motivato a cambiare idea, e niente può motivare un uomo più della presenza di un altro uomo!

Quindi, sentitevi liberi di essere un po' civettuoli e di giocare duro per ottenere, or if you dislike playing games, then simply mention how many suitors you have when he’s around.

You will notice that he’s paying attention because he just can’t stand the competition! Avere un altro ragazzo è ancora peggio che non averti affatto. Un po' strano, ma è quello che è.

The bottom line is that if you make him jealous, you’ve done half the job of winning him back!

Tip: While it’s valid to act on your feelings, you also need to understand the importance of mutual effort. If he doesn’t try at all, then maybe it’s time to finally let go.

Sapere quando allontanarsi

Un uomo userà molti strategie subdole e manipolative per sedurvi. Imparate a riconoscerli invece di cedere al suo potere perché he’s just playing you.

Siate onesti con voi stessi. Un uomo che vuole stare con te WILL be with you. It’s that simple. Move on and find someone who will truly appreciate you instead of focusing on a guy who won’t even lift a finger.

Come posso fargli capire il mio valore?

Cominciate a rendervene conto voi stessi.

If he disrespects you often, don’t make excuses for him. Demand the respect you give him. Granted, if he were a quality man who really cared about you, you wouldn’t have to tell him any of this. But alright, we are only human after all.

Stabilire i confini

Let him know what is okay to do and what is not. Let him do the same. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you are each other’s slaves. That’s not what boundaries are.

I limiti esistono solo per poter mantenere una relazione più sana. Prima di essere partner, siete individui con esigenze diverse.

This is why it’s crucial to state them instead of just hoping that your partner will fulfill them without even knowing what they are.

Now, I know I’m no dating coach, but here’s an honest piece of advice: Non dovrete mai dimostrare il vostro valore a una donna o a un'altra. un uomo che ti ama veramente. Vi ameranno senza che abbiate bisogno di dirglielo.

Conclusione

In order to understand a man, you need to look at him with unbiased eyes. Don’t put him in a box with the rest of them but rather see him for the individual he is.

If you have a problem, say what it is clearly. It won’t disappear until you face it together. But, remember – non siete voi contro l'altro, ma voi contro il problema.

Tuttavia, se notate che un uomo non è interessato a contribuire alla relazione, amare se stessi abbastanza per andarsene.

Every woman needs and deserves a great love story, so don’t settle for less.