La guida definitiva per stabilire limiti sani nelle relazioni di coppia

Avere confini sani e forti nelle relazioni è essenziale per far funzionare qualsiasi tipo di relazione. Bisogna tracciare una linea di demarcazione da qualche parte e definire le cose che vanno oltre il compromesso.

Per quanto si possa amare il proprio partner, ci sono cose su cui non si dovrebbe mai scendere a compromessi.

Queste cose si chiamano confini personali e, onestamente, sono una parte molto importante di ogni relazione sana.

The most important thing is that both sides have to respect each other’s boundaries.

That’s how you’ll break down the walls between you and feel comfortable in your relationship, strengthening the bond between you two.

Being in a romantic relationship isn’t always sunshine and daisies. And setting clear boundaries in an intimate relationship can be a very challenging and difficult part of it.

Still, it’s also an inevitable part if you really want to make that relationship work long-term.

Purtroppo, la maggior parte delle persone ha paura di porre dei limiti perché pensa che questo possa creare più problemi che benefici nella relazione.

Al contrario, confini inadeguati o la totale mancanza di confini danneggia e rovina lentamente la vostra relazione, anche se pensate che il legame tra voi e il vostro partner sia forte e indissolubile.

L'importanza di stabilire limiti sani nelle relazioni

Perché i confini nelle relazioni sono importanti? Può una relazione durare senza stabilire dei limiti chiari?

Can a lack of boundaries ruin your relationship completely? What if you’re afraid to talk to your partner about it?

Prima di tutto, devo dire che se conosceste l'importanza e i benefici dei confini per una relazione, iniziereste subito a lavorarci.

Healthy personal boundaries are important, and you should set them for your well-being. It’s how you show others how you would like to be treated.

You have to define your limits, the things you don’t want to tolerate from anyone. People will respect you more that way, and you’ll never allow anyone to treat you worse than you deserve.

Quindi, prima di iniziare a lavorare per stabilire confini forti e chiari in una relazione, è necessario pensare ai confini nella propria vita.

Dovreste stabilire delle regole nella vostra vita, come volete essere trattati dagli altri, e poi adattarle alla vostra relazione.

Having boundaries in a relationship means you’re listening, respecting, and caring for your partner. Definiscono la vostra identità, chi siete nella relazione.

Stabilire confini sani e forti vi impedirà di perdere voi stessi in una relazione e vi renderà più forti e sicuri nel caso in cui il vostro partner cerchi di controllare voi o la vostra vita.

A volte l'amore che proviamo per il nostro partner ci acceca completamente e ci doniamo completamente a quell'altra persona.

It’s so wrong, and it leads to that toxic, codependent behavior and losing your identity in a relationship. Establishing boundaries is key to ensuring that both partners feel respected, loved, and supported.

D'altra parte, la mancanza di limiti apre la porta a disaccordi, maltrattamenti e a una serie di problemi. codipendente comportamento in una relazione.

8 tipi di limiti nelle relazioni

Quindi, se volete avere un relazione sana, setting boundaries is an inevitable part. Trust me, it’s not so difficult, and it definitely won’t damage your relationship.

La mancanza di limiti in una relazione si ripercuote su entrambi i partner. Danneggia la loro salute mentale e ha un impatto negativo sulla loro autostima.

Inoltre, la mancanza di confini chiari può far sì che la vostra relazione codipendente. That’s unhealthy, and it’ll harm your relationship to the point you won’t even be able to fix it anymore.

We’re all different human beings, which makes the relationships we form with other people different too.

We all have different limits and things we don’t want to compromise on, which means we also have different kinds of boundaries when we’re in a relationship.

Tuttavia, ci sono alcuni tipi di limiti che sono fondamentali per ogni relazione sana e forte.

Confini emotivi

We’ll start with the most important boundaries for all romantic relationships, emotional boundaries, of course.

When establishing emotional boundaries, it’s important to pay attention to your own feelings, not just your partner’s.

Parlate dei vostri sentimenti e chiedete al vostro partner dei suoi. Don’t go guessing how they feel because that’s exactly where most couples make mistakes.

Check in with your partner regularly. Facing issues and problems isn’t the only time you should communicate openly with them.

You must share your feelings daily to always be in touch with your partner’s and your own feelings.

If you feel that something is wrong in your relationship, talk to your partner about it. Also, if you feel like your partner isn’t hearing you or doesn’t understand you, you should communicate it.

Don’t keep your feelings bottled up just because you think some of those negative emotions may harm your relationship.

Questo creerà solo un problema più grande, perché queste emozioni imbottigliate un giorno esploderanno, di sicuro.

Non c'è niente di male nel lasciare entrare le persone, soprattutto quelle che amate. E stabilire dei limiti emotivi nella vostra relazione impedirà sicuramente a queste persone di tradire la vostra fiducia e di farvi del male.

Confini fisici

No matter how much you love your partner and enjoy spending time with them, you also need to have your personal space, and you’re allowed to enjoy time on your own sometimes.

That’s why physical boundaries are also important in a relationship.

Don’t be afraid to tell your partner if you need some time alone or when you aren’t comfortable with some of their actions.

Il silenzio sulle vostre esigenze personali causerà problemi inutili nella vostra relazione. Parlarne e far conoscere al partner le proprie esigenze è la cosa migliore.

For example, if you aren’t okay with holding hands in public or any other public display of affection, your partner needs to know.

By setting clear physical relationship boundaries, both of you will feel more comfortable in the relationship, and it’ll also strengthen the trust between you.

Limiti relazionali con familiari, amici e colleghi di lavoro

Dovreste anche stabilire dei limiti chiari quando si tratta di altre relazioni che avete nella vostra vita.

Dovrebbero esserci dei limiti sani per quanto riguarda i rapporti con i membri della famiglia, le amicizie e i rapporti con i colleghi di lavoro.

Your families take up significant parts of your lives, and in a way, they’re also a part of your relationship too. Still, that doesn’t give them the right to interfere in your relationship.

Don’t allow your partner to talk ill of the people you care deeply for in your life or vice versa. Just like you should respect your partner’s family and friends, they should also respect yours.

That’s an important part of every healthy relationship.

And, if you aren’t okay with your partner hanging out too much with your family, co-workers, or friends, you should be direct and tell them.

Confini temporali

Un altro importante tipo di limite da stabilire in una relazione è il modo in cui trascorrete il tempo insieme.

Ricordate questo: anche quando siete molto occupati, con un'agenda frenetica, dovete sempre cercare di trovare il tempo per il vostro partner se ha bisogno di voi.

You should spend quality time together whenever you can. It’s not important whether it’s a little getaway from the city and all of its noise or to simply watch a movie together, snuggled up in front of the fireplace.

Even if you’re apart for some reason, you should at least make a phone call at the end of the day and check in with your partner to see how their day was and how they are feeling.

Do something new together. Travel together. Find a hobby you’ll both like and do that together. Learn something new together, a language or a craft maybe.

I’m not saying that you should spend every second of your free time together, but it’s important to spend quality time together to stay connected with each other.

Stabilire forti confini per quanto riguarda il vostro tempo è molto importante anche se notate che il vostro partner sta diventando eccessivamente bisognoso. La sua appiccicosità danneggia e finisce per rovinare la vostra relazione.

I confini dell'intimità

Questo tipo di confine nelle relazioni include pintimità fisicaLe cose con cui vi sentite a vostro agio o non vi sentite a vostro agio per quanto riguarda la vostra vita intima e amorosa.

Limiti sani di intimità mean being able to talk to your partner about everything that’s happening behind your closed bedroom door.

It means that you feel able to open up to them about everything regarding intimacy. It means that you’re trying to understand their needs and desires and want them to do the same for you.

Migliorerà il legame emotivo tra di voi e migliorerà notevolmente la vostra vita sentimentale.

If you have a fear of intimacy, you shouldn’t be afraid to speak about it with your partner. Explain it to them and ask them to wait and to help you overcome it. I’m sure they will understand and help you fight it.

Limiti intellettuali

Don’t think that just because you’re dating someone, you should accept their opinions and have the same opinion and perspective on life. No, that’s not right.

You’re allowed to have a different way of thinking and perspective on life because you’re different people. The important thing is how you deal with it.

Dovreste accogliere le vostre differenze e vederle come un'opportunità per imparare qualcosa di nuovo l'uno dall'altro.

Stabilire dei confini intellettuali permetterà a entrambi di avere opinioni diverse su certe cose. Fidatevi di me. Queste differenze possono avvicinarvi se imparate a gestirle nel modo giusto.

Having clear intellectual boundaries will help both partners grow in a relationship. It’s also a sign that you respect and sostenersi a vicenda‘s different ideas, views, and ways of thinking.

If you don’t feel free to share your opinions with your partner, you’re likely dealing with intellectual boundary violations.

It’s probably because your partner has made you think that you’re wrong or that your way of thinking is completely wrong. It can also lead you to have low autostima.

Limiti relativi alle vostre vite passate

If it seems to you like your partner will never forget your past and stop asking questions about it, it’s high time to set some strong boundaries on that topic.

Your ex, your past relationships, your mistakes from the past… That’s all in the past now, and you shouldn’t suffer because of it in your new relationship.

Don’t allow your partner to punish you for the past mistakes you’ve repented for and haven’t repeated ever again.

You probably needed a lot of time to forget some of your painful past experiences and won’t allow anyone to pick at your old wounds.

Stabilire i confini there, and don’t let your partner rummage through your past too much.

Limiti dei social media

Nel mondo moderno degli incontri, questi tipi di limiti nelle relazioni sono diventati molto importanti per mantenere un rapporto di fiducia. relazione sana.

Per quanto i social media siano un bene per noi, in quanto ci permettono di vedere e sentire i nostri cari ogni volta che lo desideriamo, hanno anche alcuni lati non proprio positivi.

It can damage the trust between couples and make them doubt each other’s fidelity.

I’m not saying you should set unhealthy boundaries, such as giving your partner the passwords to all of your social media accounts.

On the contrary, that would only show that you don’t trust each other at all.

However, your partner should have the right to see your phone whenever they want, assuming you don’t have anything to hide from them.

Un altro buon limite che dovreste fissare nella vostra relazione riguardo ai social media è quello di always respect your partner’s privacy.

Also, agree on posting your photos, especially if one of you isn’t a fan of showing off your love that way.

Vedi anche: Limiti matrimoniali sani con gli amici: 7 migliori esempi

Come si stabiliscono i limiti nelle relazioni?

Setting clear boundaries in a relationship is a process, and if you want to do it the right way, you should do it gradually, step by step. However, it’s really not a big deal.

Also, to maintain your boundaries, it’s important to trust each other, communicate regularly, and most importantly, understand each other’s needs.

Per prima cosa, definite i vostri confini personali

Even if you aren’t in a relationship, you should set your own boundaries, how you want to be treated by others.

Let’s start with self-awareness. It’s important to know your worth to set strong and healthy personal boundaries.

It’s important to know your limits, things you can tolerate and forgive, and those you can’t under no circumstances.

Stabilire questo tipo di confini significa rispettare se stessi, avere un relazione sana with yourself, and don’t allow others to mistreat you.

That will also protect you from being manipulated, controlled, used, or hurt by other people. Also, it’ll positively affect your self-esteem.

These are little promises you make to yourself. For example, don’t ever allow others to insult, humiliate, or criticize you.

Don’t allow other people to invade your personal space. And don’t ever allow anyone to take their negative emotions out on you.

Queste sono solo alcune delle cose su cui si dovrebbe porre un limite per avere un rapporto sano e di successo con se stessi e con gli altri.

Anche l'amore per se stessi è importante

Per avere una relazione sana e di successo con un'altra persona, bisogna prima averne una con se stessi.

L'amore per se stessi e il rapporto con se stessi danno il tono a tutte le altre relazioni della vostra vita. So, if you don’t have healthy personal boundaries, it will be difficult for you to set them in your relationship.

Dovete lavorare sulla vostra autoconsapevolezza e autostima. Dovete conoscere il vostro valore e ciò che meritate, in modo da non permettere a nessuno di trattarvi meno di così.

Siate buoni con voi stessi. Trattatevi con rispetto. Amare se stessi first. Don’t sacrifice your well-being; don’t neglect your own boundaries and limits just to please someone else.

It’ll only make you unhappy and unsatisfied with yourself. Then, you won’t be satisfied and happy in your relationship, which will only lead to you and your partner growing apart.

Don’t be afraid to speak your mind

Now, we’ll talk about setting healthy boundaries in a relationship. If you love your partner and you feel they love you back, you should be able to open up to them and talk about everything.

If you aren’t okay with some of their actions, their behavior, or how they treat you, you shouldn’t be afraid to talk to them about it.

Both of you should learn to communicate in a healthy way. There is no problem, no obstacle that you can’t overcome by practicing healthy comunicazione.

If something is bothering you about your partner or your relationship and you are afraid to talk about it with them, then that’s a real problem.

It only means that you don’t trust them or that you don’t believe in the strength of your relationship and its power to overcome all issues and obstacles.

Comunicare onestamente

If something is bothering you, or if you aren’t pleased with how your partner treats you, the best advice I can give you is to talk to them honestly about it.

Rivolgete il vostro cuore al vostro partner. Siate diretti e onesti. Se imbottigliate le vostre emozioni, non farete altro che allontanarvi dal vostro partner.

Anche per quanto riguarda le emozioni negative e oscure che tutti noi a volte proviamo, dovreste essere onesti.

Don’t think about it harming your relationship or how it could make your partner angry and make them break up with you.

No, if they really love you, they’ll be understanding, and they’ll immediately start working on ways to deal with it and overcome those issues.

Listen to your partner’s needs too

Così come voi avete esigenze e limiti, anche il vostro partner li ha. E se volete che rispettino i vostri, dovete accettare e rispettare anche i loro.

When your partner talks about things that are bothering them, listen but listen actively. They need to see that you’re hearing them.

Le vostre esigenze sono importanti, ma anche le loro dovrebbero esserlo.

Because it’s what a relationship, a partnership is all about; being equal and equally respecting each other’s needs and limits.

Always show that you understand your partner’s needs, and it’ll make their feelings for you even stronger.

Ask them to talk about their feelings directly and honestly, so you don’t have to guess what’s wrong every time they start behaving differently.

Dare un nome ai propri confini

Sapete quali sono i vostri limiti, vero? Sapete quali sono le cose che non tollerereste mai o che non perdonereste mai alla persona amata?

So, there’s no point in tiptoeing around. Be direct and tell your partner loud and clear. Define your boundaries to them and make them understand how important they are for you.

Stick to your limitations. If they keep overstepping your boundaries – don’t forgive them. It will only show them that you don’t respect them or yourself.

Fidatevi di me. Violeranno i vostri limiti ancora e ancora. Se tracciate una linea di demarcazione da qualche parte, dovreste mantenerla e non permettere a nessuno di oltrepassarla.

Lasciate fuori i vostri sentimenti

Quando si inizia a lavorare su definizione dei confini in una relazione, entrambi i partner dovrebbero lasciare fuori i propri sentimenti. I sentimenti possono solo peggiorare le cose o far dimenticare i propri limiti.

As we’ve already said, our feelings can blind us sometimes and make us forget all about our limitations and things we swore we’d non tollerare mai nelle relazioni.

I know it’s difficult to talk about things that may damage or ruin your relationship with your loved one, but to prevent it, you must talk about it and, once again, set clear boundaries.

Stabilite i vostri limiti e seguiteli

It’s not just important to set your limits in a relationship. It’s important to follow through with them too.

It’s how you’ll show your partner how important your boundaries are to you, and they’ll try not to overstep them and respect them for the sake of your love and your relationship.

If they make a mistake and somehow overstep them, it’s okay because we all make mistakes sometimes, and you should forgive them.

However, it’s not a mistake if it happens more than once; it’s a sign they don’t respect your boundaries.
In questo caso, dovreste avvertirli del danno che provoca alla vostra relazione.

But also, you must know when it’s time to move on.

If you see that someone is neglecting your boundaries and doesn’t respect them, or if they don’t want to make an effort to respect them, no matter how much you love that person, you should let them go and move on.

Someone who’ll gladly respect you and your limits is waiting.

Respect your partner’s boundaries

Così come volete che il vostro partner rispetti i vostri limiti e confini, dovete essere pronti a rispettare i suoi.

Maybe you don’t agree with all of their boundaries, or you think some of them are completely insane or unnecessary; you should still try to accept and respect them if you honestly care for that person.

Siamo tutti persone diverse e ci interessano cose diverse. Alcune cose che sono importanti per voi potrebbero non esserlo per il vostro partner e viceversa.

However, if you want to have a strong and successful relationship with someone, it’s essential to understand and respect their boundaries in your relationship.

Cercare aiuto o supporto

Se la definizione dei confini crea problemi nella vostra relazione, dovreste considerare la possibilità di chiedere aiuto all'esterno.

Consider taking couples therapy or counseling where you’ll be able to learn from professionals how to set and maintain strong boundaries in relationships.

You can also talk with your friends or a person you both trust if you’re having a hard time accepting each other’s boundaries.

They care for you and your relationship, and I’m sure they’ll be glad to help you or give you good advice.

Stabilire dei limiti sani è un processo, quindi fate un passo alla volta.

Setting boundaries in relationships can be very difficult and challenging for some couples. However, you must understand that it’s a process; it can’t be done overnight.

Dovete farlo lentamente, facendo un passo alla volta.

Con una comunicazione onesta e sana, potete affrontare qualsiasi cosa e superare ogni ostacolo che vi si presenta.

Con un po' di impegno da parte di entrambi, è possibile stabilire dei confini forti nella relazione, mantenerli e rispettarli.

Don’t hurry this process because you’ll probably make some hasty decisions.

If you aren’t sure you can accept some of your partner’s boundaries, talk to them about it, and try to find a solution together that will be good for both of you.

Don’t give up on your relationship just because you feel like you won’t be able to respect all of your partner’s boundaries.

Imparerete a gestirlo con il tempo perché avete la motivazione più potente, il vostro amore.

Conclusione

Come si vede, avere dei limiti nelle relazioni è un MUST per migliorare e mantenere la propria relazione.

It’ll improve the trust between partners, their emotional health, their intimacy, and it’ll also strengthen the bond between them.

Stabilire dei confini chiari in una relazione farà sì che entrambi i partner si sentano a proprio agio nell'essere più liberi e aperti verso l'altro.

Trust me. You can’t have a strong relationship with someone without setting strong and clear boundaries. And there is no need to be afraid of setting healthy boundaries in a relationship.

It’s important for the sake of the relationship and the well-being of both partners.

Setting and respecting each other’s boundaries will strengthen your relationship and create such a powerful and unbreakable bond between you.

Tuttavia, prima di iniziare a stabilire dei limiti nella vostra relazione sentimentale, dovreste prestare attenzione ai vostri limiti personali.

Stabilire dei limiti chiari nella propria vita è il primo passo per stabilire dei limiti in una relazione.

Keep in mind that setting strong boundaries has many benefits for your relationship. Respect your partner’s boundaries but also don’t allow them to overstep your own.