Consigli di fidanzamento per le donne che vorresti aver conosciuto prima (20 suggerimenti)

When I was younger and (more) clueless about men, I wondered why someone couldn’t just knock on my door and tell me exactly what to do when it came to dating. Yes, I was talking to my friends, but it was like the blind leading the blind.

Avevo bisogno di una guida professionale! Avevo bisogno di consigli di appuntamenti per donne che funzionassero davvero.

Per farla breve, non l'ho mai capito. Invece, ho dovuto imparare dai miei stessi errori.

Ma, ehi, c'è un lato positivo in ogni nuvola. Ora, a distanza di decine di cuori infranti, eccomi qui, più saggia che mai.

And, here you are, lucky that you don’t have to wander around looking for la tua anima gemella without the slightest idea of what you’re doing.

Why? Because I’ve got you covered. Here is the ultimate collection of dating tips and tricks that every woman wishes she knew sooner.

20 Consigli e trucchi per gli appuntamenti

Devo avvertirvi: alcuni dei consigli che seguono richiederanno un drastico cambiamento nella vostra stile di incontri. But, I promise you: it’ll all be worth it.

1. Make no apologies for setting high standards…

Prima ancora di uscire, dovete sapere quali sono i vostri problemi. Tenete però presente che questo non coincide con le vostre preferenze in fatto di uomini.

There are things you like and dislike about your potential boyfriend, and that’s perfectly okay.

However, I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about the things you wouldn’t tolerate under any circumstances.

What’s important is to be honest with yourself about these standards. Don’t let society, your best friend, or some random dude tell you that you’re asking for too much, regardless of whether you’re uscire con un insegnante o qualcun altro.

You know how much you’ve got to offer. You know your qualities and good sides, and there is no reason for you to settle for a man who’ll give you less than what you’re giving him.

Non scusatevi per stabilire standard elevati. Moreover, don’t waste time on guys who don’t have the potential of matching them.

2. …but don’t be too picky.

Tuttavia, questo non è un invito a essere troppo esigenti. Sapere cosa cercare in un uomo is one thing, but not giving a guy a chance just because he’s not your Mr. Perfect is something completely else.

The best way to avoid this is to forget about types. Don’t put men in boxes.

Just because he’s not as tall or as rich as you imagined your boyfriend to be doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t dig a little deeper and find out more about his other qualities.

Also, be aware of your own flaws. I’m not telling you to be overly critical, but remember that you’re not perfect either.

You expect your date to accept your imperfections, don’t you? You expect your boyfriend to love you for who you really are, don’t you?

Well, you have to do the same. If you expect to find the perfect guy who’ll match each one of your standards, I have some bad news for you.

This is not a fairytale – it’s real life. There are no Prince Charmings out there.

3. Le priorità rispetto alle convenienze.

Every relationship expert will tell you the same: don’t obsess over guys. Don’t obsess over finding the right guy, and don’t obsess over a particular guy once you fall in love.

Purtroppo, this is something a lot of women do. They assume they’re not good enough as long as they’re single, and they turn this search into a life quest.

It’s not.

I know you want to find your best match. Let’s be honest, don’t we all?

But, that shouldn’t be your only priority. Be your own number one person regardless of whether you have a long-term relationship or not.

Being in love is great, but it’s not the only point of living. If you adopt this mindset, I assure you: your l'anima gemella arriverà eventualmente.

4. Il segreto della vita: sapere cosa si vuole e chiederlo.

Another thing a lot of women do without even being aware of it is not knowing what and who they want. If this is something you can relate to, start by figuring out what and who you don’t want.

Dopo di che, procedere alla realizzazione di ciò che si cerca in un uomo. If it’s necessary, write down a list of qualità di Mr. Right needs to have. Once again, don’t lower your standards, but don’t forget to be realistic either.

Una comunicazione sana porta a relazioni sane.

When you’re done with that, lavorare sulle proprie capacità di comunicazione. Guys aren’t mind readers, and you can’t expect a man to know the core of your being until the second date.

La mia esperienza di appuntamenti mi dice che agli uomini piace avere una fidanzata che dica loro cosa vuole. Tell him how you like to be treated, where you want to go, what you want to eat…

More importantly… tell him when you’re bothered by something. Tell him that you want to go to dinner when he suggests Netflix and chill, that you’re ready to step your relationship up, or that you’re not happy with the way he treats you.

Look, I’m not making any promises here. I’m not saying that every guy will accept your demands.

But, at least you’ll know you tried.

5. Scoprire i segreti del vero amore.

Lasciate che vi dia il più importante consiglio di appuntamenti per le donne: L'amore e l'essere innamorati sono due cose diverse.

It’s about time you stop incontri uomini alfa who give you butterflies and nothing else. It’s time to stop incontri con uomini impegnati and don’t make you a priority. I know that you’re hooked on thrills, a rollercoaster of emotions, and goosebumps.

But, I promise you that’s not real love. Actually, it’s more likely to be anxiety, but let’s leave it at that.

Get rid of the bad boys who give you uncertainty. You don’t need mixed signals and relationship games.

Avete bisogno del vero amore. Tuttavia, prima di ottenerlo, bisogna innanzitutto capire cos'è.

Che cos'è il vero amore?

Everything you’ve felt until now is the sensation of being in love. But, real love gives you something else.

Vi dà rispetto e stabilità. Vi dà pace e apprezzamento. Ti dà una relazione a lungo termine e non un incontro casuale.

6. Realize who’s worth the effort and who’s not.

Il vostro tempo, il vostro impegno e la vostra energia sono preziosi. Allora, perché continuate a sprecarli con ragazzi che sapete non essere all'altezza?

Sometimes, you’ll figure out who to ditch right on the first date. I don’t care if he’s a friend of a friend or if you’ve been a single woman for longer than you can remember. That’s exactly what I said to one of my friends when she started uscire con un ragazzo arabo.

If he’s not worthy of your attention – move on.

Sometimes, you won’t realize it the first time you meet. You’ll need to go way past a second date to understand he’s not for you.

And, that’s okay, too. Don’t stay in a relationship just because you’ve invested a lot in it.

If something isn’t going in the right direction, turn around and leave it behind. Trust me: it’s better late than never.

7. Le ipotesi sono le termiti delle relazioni.

Henry Winkler once said this famous line, and he couldn’t be more correct. In fact, dating coaches in the world will tell you the same.

Avete presente quando abbiamo detto che gli uomini non leggono nel pensiero? Immagino che tu sia d'accordo.

Well, what makes you think you’re better than them? Why do you think you can read your boyfriend’s mind?

If you have some doubts about his feelings, intentions, or plans, just be frank about it. Ask him, for God’s sake – that’s why you have the ability to talk.

The worst thing you can do is create imaginary scenarios in your head. I assure you – you’ll always think of the worst possible outcomes.

I’m not saying you should let a guy make a fool out of you and allow di mentire a voinonostante tutte le prove che avete davanti.

Nevertheless, always give him the benefit of the doubt. Talk to him about whatever is bothering you – you might be surprised with the answer.

8. Conoscere il proprio valore. Poi, aggiungete le tasse.

One of the best pieces of relationship advice I ever got was to know my worth. No, that’s not strictly related to romantic relationships, but trust me – it’s more important than you might think.

Look, I’m not telling you to be an egocentric maniac, but don’t let your insecurities get the best of you either. Instead, work on your self-esteem as hard as you can – it will pay off.

It’s actually plain and simple. You can’t expect a guy to love you if you don’t love yourself.

If you don’t think that you’re good enough, you’ll think that it’s perfectly acceptable for a man in your life to think that way, too. If you show him that you don’t respect yourself, he’ll just follow your lead and disrespect you as well.

Una donna che ama se stessa knows her worth, and will never settle for less than she deserves. She doesn’t need a man to give her validation, and she doesn’t allow herself to stay with someone who doesn’t make her happy.

9. You’re not a rehabilitation center.

We’re all adults here. Therefore, it’s not your responsibility to parent anyone.

It’s one thing to take care of your partner’s wellness – that’s what being a team is all about. However, you’re not here to raise anyone.

You’re not a rehabilitation institution for broken or damaged men.

He’s emotivamente non disponibile? Ha avuto il cuore spezzato nella sua precedente relazione?

He’s abusive because he knows nothing better? He is jealous because he’s incapable of showing his love in a healthy way?

Un duro colpo. Dovrebbe andare da un terapeuta e lavorare sui suoi problemi che non sono affari vostri.

I know this sounds brutal, but real life is brutal. It’s not your job to heal anyone’s traumas or to try and change men who clearly don’t want to be changed.

La vostra unica missione è rendere felice voi stessi!

10. Siate gentili, equi e giusti.

Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean that you’re allowed to play dirty. There is nothing dishonest in refusing to fix uomini distrutti. That’s perfectly fine.

Ma cose come il tradimento, la menzogna e la manipolazione non lo sono. The dating world is harsh, but that doesn’t mean you have to be.

Don’t let anyone walk over you and show you true strength if they try hurting you. However, do your best not to break any hearts in the process.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that you’ll date a man out of sympathy or that you won’t break up a relationship because you feel sorry for the guy. Instead, you’ll tell him you’re not interested senza alcun rimorso.

Just be honest about your intentions no matter what happens. Don’t drag anyone along, don’t take guys for granted, don’t use them as self-esteem boosters, and don’t lie about your feelings to get what you want.

Ecco un consiglio per le relazioni: don’t do to others what you don’t want to be done to you!

RELATIVO: Come baciare un uomo per farlo impazzire di te

11. Be yourself – everyone else is taken.

So, this is probably the first tip you’ll get from every relationship expert out there. And, I know what you must think now: that this is just a worn out phrase.

But, trust me – it’s not. The best way to meet the love of your life is really to be yourself.

Dimenticatevi di ciò che la società vi dice di fare. Dimenticatevi di soddisfare alcuni standard immaginari. Dimenticate il modo in cui il vostro ex voleva che vi comportaste e appariste.

Siate semplicemente il vostro vero io.

Credetemi quando vi dico che avviso ai ragazzi when you’re pretending to be someone else just to make them like you more. In fact, it’s one of the major turn-offs for every uomo vero.

I’m not advising you to spill all of your deepest traumas right there on the first date. It’s okay to be a little bit mysterious and challenge him to get to know you better.

Tuttavia, i falsi pretesti e gli inganni non vanno bene.

12. Divertirsi durante il processo.

“In New York, they say you’re always looking for a job, a boyfriend, or an apartment.” – Sex and the City

Well, the most important thing in either of these cases is not the final outcome: it’s the process itself.

Here’s a crucial piece of dating advice for women: don’t turn this search for a boyfriend into something that has to be done. It’s not your 9-5 job, and you won’t get paid for it.

Please, have fun while you’re doing it. Use this time to work on yourself, and to learn a thing or a two about the woman you’re becoming.

Dating life is hard sometimes, that’s true. But, it’s your job to make it as amusing as possible.

E nel frattempo? Godetevi la vostra vita da single il più possibile!

13. Stabilire i confini.

I don’t care what century it is; if you feel uncomfortable doing something, nobody has the right to argue against it. Yes, I’m talking about the bedroom here.

Don’t sleep with a guy until you feel ready for it. Don’t do it if you think he’ll change afterward. Don’t do it because you’re scared that he’ll leave you or because he’ll think of you as a prude.

To hell with it… don’t even kiss him unless you want it. You don’t owe him anything just because he took you out for dinner.

Confini sociali e personali

Boundaries are more important than you can imagine, and you’re the one who has to set them. But, don’t let society do it for you.

If you don’t feel like kissing a guy on a second date – that’s your prerogative, and don’t even think of doing it.

But, what if a guy you’ve met on a dating site invites you over for Netflix and chill? You know it will be nothing more than a hook-up, but you still want to go.

On the other hand, you’re questioning it because you don’t know if it would be right. What will he think of you? Is it okay to go to his place without an actual first date beforehand?

Yes, it’s perfectly fine because that’s what you want.

14. Rompere i propri schemi di frequentazione tossici.

Wherever I look, I run into women who got their hearts broken by awful, evil men. While I’m not arguing against that, isn’t it about time to wonder if we’re guilty of some toxic behaviors as well.

I know I am. Of course, it took me a lot of introspection to admit this. And, that’s exactly what you have to do.

Think about your entire dating experience. What were your biggest mistakes? What are the things you’d do differently this time if you had the chance to?

Ebbene, eccola qui. Questa è la vostra occasione per sistemare le cose. Reinventate voi stessi e rompete una volta per tutte gli schemi di appuntamenti tossici.

15. Dimenticate le moderne regole degli appuntamenti.

Dovreste aspettare che lui inviare il primo messaggio di testo dopo la data o si può fare? Quanto tempo si deve aspettare prima di ditegli che vi piace? Dovresti seguire il famoso modello di sms: Don’t text him and he will text you?

Quando è il momento giusto per parlare di mettere un'etichetta alla vostra relazione? È una sciocchezza se si bacia prima il ragazzo?

È troppo presto per andare a letto con lui? Dovete fare i difficili o è meglio essere onesti fin dal primo giorno?

What a bunch of baloney! I can’t give you the answers you’re looking for. In fact, no dating expert can.

Why? Because you’re the only one who can. It’s your life and your relationship.

Quindi, per favore, dimenticate queste sciocchezze Regole per gli incontri moderni. If you don’t, all of the other dating advice for women is in vain.

Reach out if you feel like doing so. Like his tweets, reply to his story, ask him out for a second date…but don’t tolerate him ignorare i vostri messaggi.

16. Espandere i propri orizzonti.

Siete abituati a conoscere nuovi ragazzi nei locali? Oppure esci solo con gli amici degli amici? Dimenticatevi anche di questo.

It’s time to expand your horizons and really dive into the dating pool. Iniziate con i siti e le app di incontri.

There is nothing wrong with online dating, and people aren’t there to look for one-night stands only. If you know what you’re looking for, it’s easy to cut off those who don’t match your standards.

Provate a uscire con un appuntamento al buio. Oppure, provate a speed dating.

La cosa più importante è capire cosa vi si addice di più nel vasto mondo degli incontri.

17. Ignorare i segnali è un modo per arrivare alla destinazione sbagliata.

The number one mistake you can make while dating is not paying attention to the red flags. You know exactly what I’m talking about; about those little signs you clearly see but choose to ignore just because it’s easier that way right now.

L'obiettivo finale è quello di avere un relazione sana with a man. Well, you won’t be able to do so with someone who is showing signs of toxicity, possessiveness, or abusive behavior right from the start.

Per favore, toglietevi gli occhiali da sole colorati di rosa. Non è il momento di idealizzare una persona con la quale dovreste tagliare subito i ponti.

I don’t care if he’s giving you butterflies. Run for your life and save yourself on time!

18. Gettare via il bagaglio emotivo.

You can’t swim with bricks in your back pockets, can you? Well, you can’t find Mr. Right if you’re still in any way connected with Mr. Wrong from your past.

Prima di tuffarvi in qualcosa di nuovo, dovete liberarvi del vostro bagaglio emotivo.

And, I’m not talking about sending text messages or calling your ex only. I’m talking about still loving him and waiting for di ritornare anche.

You can’t fight fire with fire, and a relazione di rimbalzo won’t make your heart heal faster.

Actually, it will only push you deeper down the despair of your sadness. Besides, it’s not fair to date other guys while you’re waiting for a particular one to make a great comeback in your life.

Quindi, per favore, lavorate per riparare il vostro cuore spezzato prima di uscire di nuovo.

19. Diventare materiale da fidanzata.

Siate onesti e chiedetevi: Se fossi un uomo, usciresti con te stesso? I know this is a tough one, but it’s one of the most important questions I’ve asked you today.

Forget about your insecurities and be as realistic as possible. Try observing yourself from someone else’s point of view.

Sei una fidanzata o materiale della moglie? Se no, quali sono le qualità che vi mancano? Queste sono le cose su cui dovete lavorare il prima possibile!

You’re so focused on finding your Mr. Right that you forget you have to become Mrs. Right as well.

20. Ascoltate il vostro istinto.

When in doubt, listen to what your intuition has to say. Trust me – it never goes wrong.

Ma per favore, prima imparate la differenza tra un attacco d'ansia che vi dice che tutto andrà sempre a rotoli e il vostro istinto che è lì per mostrarvi la strada.

Cosa non si deve fare nelle prime fasi di un appuntamento?

If you’ve been out of the dating world for a while, you probably forgot how easy it is to chase the guy you like away right after you start dating. Everything is still fragile between you two, and you have to be careful about your every move.

That’s why you have me: to give you the list of things you shouldn’t even think of doing in the initial dating stages:

1. Parlare del proprio ex.

2. Letting him know you’ve been stalking him.

3. Esporre tutta la propria personalità.

4. Far esplodere il suo telefono.

5. Saltare la conversazione sulla salute prima di andare a letto con lui.

6. Permettergli di mancarvi di rispetto.

7. Si tratta di un'immagine di scarso valore.

8. Presentarlo a tutti i vostri amici e familiari.

Cosa deve fare una donna per il suo uomo?

Se si vuole Mantenere l'interesse di un ragazzoDovreste mostrare interesse nei suoi confronti. Invece di fare la difficile, investite un po' di impegno in questa potenziale relazione.

Make sure he knows you’re into him. Send him flirty or cute testi di buongiorno per lui. Show initiative, ask him out, reply to his texts, and be the first one to call and he’s all yours.

Come migliorano le donne negli appuntamenti?

Sapete come si dice: La pratica rende perfetti! Ma ecco alcuni altri consigli e trucchi per diventare un miglior frequentatore:

1. Lavorate sulle vostre capacità di comunicazione.

2. Mostrare interesse.

3. Siate divertenti.

4. Don’t overthink it.

5. Parlare a voce alta.

6. Essere aperti alle novità.

7. Migliorare le proprie capacità di flirtare.

8. Godetevi la vostra vita da single.

Per concludere:

Now that you’ve read all of my dating advice for women, you’re good to go! Now, all you’ve got to do is apply it to real life.

Easier said than done, I know. But, don’t expect to become a pro at dating after one try. It takes time for you to start implementing each one of these tips and tricks. Here’s an extra tip on come farsi inseguire da un ragazzo usando la psicologia maschile.

Un passo alla volta e, prima che ve ne rendiate conto, il vostro gioco di appuntamenti sarà perfetto!