Conselhos de namoro para mulheres que gostaria de ter conhecido mais cedo (20 dicas)

When I was younger and (more) clueless about men, I wondered why someone couldn’t just knock on my door and tell me exactly what to do when it came to dating. Yes, I was talking to my friends, but it was like the blind leading the blind.

Eu precisava de orientação profissional! Precisava de conselhos de namoro para mulheres que realmente funcionassem.

Bem, para encurtar a história, nunca o consegui. Em vez disso, tive de aprender com os meus próprios erros.

Mas, ei, há um lado bom em cada nuvem. Agora, dezenas de desgostos depois, aqui estou eu, mais sábio do que nunca.

And, here you are, lucky that you don’t have to wander around looking for a sua alma gémea without the slightest idea of what you’re doing.

Why? Because I’ve got you covered. Here is the ultimate collection of dating tips and tricks that every woman wishes she knew sooner.

20 dicas e truques para encontros

Devo avisá-lo: alguns dos conselhos que se seguem implicam uma mudança drástica na sua estilo de namoro. But, I promise you: it’ll all be worth it.

1. Make no apologies for setting high standards…

Antes mesmo de sair por aí, precisa de saber quais são os seus problemas. Mas tenha em atenção que isto não é o mesmo que as suas preferências em relação aos homens.

There are things you like and dislike about your potential boyfriend, and that’s perfectly okay.

However, I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about the things you wouldn’t tolerate under any circumstances.

What’s important is to be honest with yourself about these standards. Don’t let society, your best friend, or some random dude tell you that you’re asking for too much, regardless of whether you’re namorar um professor ou outra pessoa.

You know how much you’ve got to offer. You know your qualities and good sides, and there is no reason for you to settle for a man who’ll give you less than what you’re giving him.

Não se desculpe por estabelecer padrões elevados. Moreover, don’t waste time on guys who don’t have the potential of matching them.

2. …but don’t be too picky.

No entanto, isto não é um convite a ser demasiado exigente. Saber o que procurar num homem is one thing, but not giving a guy a chance just because he’s not your Mr. Perfect is something completely else.

The best way to avoid this is to forget about types. Don’t put men in boxes.

Just because he’s not as tall or as rich as you imagined your boyfriend to be doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t dig a little deeper and find out more about his other qualities.

Also, be aware of your own flaws. I’m not telling you to be overly critical, but remember that you’re not perfect either.

You expect your date to accept your imperfections, don’t you? You expect your boyfriend to love you for who you really are, don’t you?

Well, you have to do the same. If you expect to find the perfect guy who’ll match each one of your standards, I have some bad news for you.

This is not a fairytale – it’s real life. There are no Prince Charmings out there.

3. Prioridades em relação às conveniências.

Every relationship expert will tell you the same: don’t obsess over guys. Don’t obsess over finding the right guy, and don’t obsess over a particular guy once you fall in love.

Infelizmente, this is something a lot of women do. They assume they’re not good enough as long as they’re single, and they turn this search into a life quest.

It’s not.

I know you want to find your best match. Let’s be honest, don’t we all?

But, that shouldn’t be your only priority. Be your own number one person regardless of whether you have a long-term relationship or not.

Being in love is great, but it’s not the only point of living. If you adopt this mindset, I assure you: your a alma gémea virá eventualmente.

4. O segredo da vida: saber o que se quer e pedir por isso.

Another thing a lot of women do without even being aware of it is not knowing what and who they want. If this is something you can relate to, start by figuring out what and who you don’t want.

Depois disso, começar a perceber o que é que procura num homem. If it’s necessary, write down a list of qualidades do seu Sr. Certo needs to have. Once again, don’t lower your standards, but don’t forget to be realistic either.

Uma comunicação saudável conduz a relações saudáveis.

When you’re done with that, trabalhar as suas capacidades de comunicação. Guys aren’t mind readers, and you can’t expect a man to know the core of your being until the second date.

A minha experiência de encontros diz-me que os homens gostam de ter uma namorada que lhes diga o que quer. Tell him how you like to be treated, where you want to go, what you want to eat…

More importantly… tell him when you’re bothered by something. Tell him that you want to go to dinner when he suggests Netflix and chill, that you’re ready to step your relationship up, or that you’re not happy with the way he treats you.

Look, I’m not making any promises here. I’m not saying that every guy will accept your demands.

But, at least you’ll know you tried.

5. Descobrir os segredos do amor verdadeiro.

Deixem-me dar-vos o conselho mais importante para as mulheres que namoram: amar e estar apaixonado são duas coisas diferentes.

It’s about time you stop namorar homens alfa who give you butterflies and nothing else. It’s time to stop namorar homens ocupados and don’t make you a priority. I know that you’re hooked on thrills, a rollercoaster of emotions, and goosebumps.

But, I promise you that’s not real love. Actually, it’s more likely to be anxiety, but let’s leave it at that.

Get rid of the bad boys who give you uncertainty. You don’t need mixed signals and relationship games.

Precisas de amor verdadeiro. No entanto, antes de o obteres, primeiro tens de compreender o que é.

O que é o amor verdadeiro?

Everything you’ve felt until now is the sensation of being in love. But, real love gives you something else.

Dá-nos respeito e estabilidade. Dá-vos paz e apreço. Dá-nos uma relação a longo prazo e não encontros aleatórios.

6. Realize who’s worth the effort and who’s not.

O seu tempo, esforço e energia são preciosos. Então, porque é que continua a desperdiçá-los com tipos que sabe que não são dignos?

Sometimes, you’ll figure out who to ditch right on the first date. I don’t care if he’s a friend of a friend or if you’ve been a single woman for longer than you can remember. That’s exactly what I said to one of my friends when she started namorar um árabe.

If he’s not worthy of your attention – move on.

Sometimes, you won’t realize it the first time you meet. You’ll need to go way past a second date to understand he’s not for you.

And, that’s okay, too. Don’t stay in a relationship just because you’ve invested a lot in it.

If something isn’t going in the right direction, turn around and leave it behind. Trust me: it’s better late than never.

7. Os pressupostos são as térmitas das relações.

Henry Winkler once said this famous line, and he couldn’t be more correct. In fact, dating coaches in the world will tell you the same.

Sabes como falámos sobre os homens não serem leitores de mentes? Suponho que concordas com isso.

Well, what makes you think you’re better than them? Why do you think you can read your boyfriend’s mind?

If you have some doubts about his feelings, intentions, or plans, just be frank about it. Ask him, for God’s sake – that’s why you have the ability to talk.

The worst thing you can do is create imaginary scenarios in your head. I assure you – you’ll always think of the worst possible outcomes.

I’m not saying you should let a guy make a fool out of you and allow ele mentir-lheApesar de todas as provas que tem à sua frente.

Nevertheless, always give him the benefit of the doubt. Talk to him about whatever is bothering you – you might be surprised with the answer.

8. Conhece o teu valor. Depois, acrescente os impostos.

One of the best pieces of relationship advice I ever got was to know my worth. No, that’s not strictly related to romantic relationships, but trust me – it’s more important than you might think.

Look, I’m not telling you to be an egocentric maniac, but don’t let your insecurities get the best of you either. Instead, work on your self-esteem as hard as you can – it will pay off.

It’s actually plain and simple. You can’t expect a guy to love you if you don’t love yourself.

If you don’t think that you’re good enough, you’ll think that it’s perfectly acceptable for a man in your life to think that way, too. If you show him that you don’t respect yourself, he’ll just follow your lead and disrespect you as well.

Uma mulher que se ama a si própria knows her worth, and will never settle for less than she deserves. She doesn’t need a man to give her validation, and she doesn’t allow herself to stay with someone who doesn’t make her happy.

9. You’re not a rehabilitation center.

We’re all adults here. Therefore, it’s not your responsibility to parent anyone.

It’s one thing to take care of your partner’s wellness – that’s what being a team is all about. However, you’re not here to raise anyone.

You’re not a rehabilitation institution for broken or damaged men.

He’s emocionalmente indisponível? Ele ficou com o coração partido na sua relação anterior?

He’s abusive because he knows nothing better? He is jealous because he’s incapable of showing his love in a healthy way?

Que azar. Ele deve ir a um terapeuta e resolver os seus problemas, que não são da sua conta.

I know this sounds brutal, but real life is brutal. It’s not your job to heal anyone’s traumas or to try and change men who clearly don’t want to be changed.

A tua única missão é fazeres-te feliz!

10. Sê bondoso, justo e equitativo.

Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean that you’re allowed to play dirty. There is nothing dishonest in refusing to fix homens quebrados. That’s perfectly fine.

Mas coisas como a batota, a mentira e a manipulação não o são. The dating world is harsh, but that doesn’t mean you have to be.

Don’t let anyone walk over you and show you true strength if they try hurting you. However, do your best not to break any hearts in the process.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that you’ll date a man out of sympathy or that you won’t break up a relationship because you feel sorry for the guy. Instead, you’ll tell him you’re not interested sem qualquer remorso.

Just be honest about your intentions no matter what happens. Don’t drag anyone along, don’t take guys for granted, don’t use them as self-esteem boosters, and don’t lie about your feelings to get what you want.

Eis um conselho de relacionamento: don’t do to others what you don’t want to be done to you!

RELACIONADO: Como beijar um homem para o deixar louco por si

11. Be yourself – everyone else is taken.

So, this is probably the first tip you’ll get from every relationship expert out there. And, I know what you must think now: that this is just a worn out phrase.

But, trust me – it’s not. The best way to meet the love of your life is really to be yourself.

Esqueça o que a sociedade lhe diz para fazer. Esqueça os padrões imaginários. Esqueça a forma como o seu ex queria que se comportasse e parecesse.

Sê apenas o teu verdadeiro eu.

Acreditem em mim quando vos digo que aviso aos rapazes when you’re pretending to be someone else just to make them like you more. In fact, it’s one of the major turn-offs for every homem de verdade.

I’m not advising you to spill all of your deepest traumas right there on the first date. It’s okay to be a little bit mysterious and challenge him to get to know you better.

No entanto, os falsos pretextos e os enganos não são legais.

12. Divertir-se durante o processo.

“In New York, they say you’re always looking for a job, a boyfriend, or an apartment.” – Sex and the City

Well, the most important thing in either of these cases is not the final outcome: it’s the process itself.

Here’s a crucial piece of dating advice for women: don’t turn this search for a boyfriend into something that has to be done. It’s not your 9-5 job, and you won’t get paid for it.

Please, have fun while you’re doing it. Use this time to work on yourself, and to learn a thing or a two about the woman you’re becoming.

Dating life is hard sometimes, that’s true. But, it’s your job to make it as amusing as possible.

E, entretanto? Aproveita a tua vida de solteira o mais que puderes!

13. Estabelecer limites.

I don’t care what century it is; if you feel uncomfortable doing something, nobody has the right to argue against it. Yes, I’m talking about the bedroom here.

Don’t sleep with a guy until you feel ready for it. Don’t do it if you think he’ll change afterward. Don’t do it because you’re scared that he’ll leave you or because he’ll think of you as a prude.

To hell with it… don’t even kiss him unless you want it. You don’t owe him anything just because he took you out for dinner.

Limites sociais versus limites pessoais

Boundaries are more important than you can imagine, and you’re the one who has to set them. But, don’t let society do it for you.

If you don’t feel like kissing a guy on a second date – that’s your prerogative, and don’t even think of doing it.

But, what if a guy you’ve met on a dating site invites you over for Netflix and chill? You know it will be nothing more than a hook-up, but you still want to go.

On the other hand, you’re questioning it because you don’t know if it would be right. What will he think of you? Is it okay to go to his place without an actual first date beforehand?

Yes, it’s perfectly fine because that’s what you want.

14. Quebre seus próprios padrões tóxicos de namoro.

Wherever I look, I run into women who got their hearts broken by awful, evil men. While I’m not arguing against that, isn’t it about time to wonder if we’re guilty of some toxic behaviors as well.

I know I am. Of course, it took me a lot of introspection to admit this. And, that’s exactly what you have to do.

Think about your entire dating experience. What were your biggest mistakes? What are the things you’d do differently this time if you had the chance to?

Bem, aqui está. Esta é a sua oportunidade de corrigir as coisas. Reinvente-se e quebre esses padrões tóxicos de namoro de uma vez por todas.

15. Esqueça as regras modernas dos encontros.

Deverá esperar que ele enviar a primeira mensagem de texto depois da data ou pode fazê-lo? Quanto tempo deve esperar antes de diz-lhe que gostas dele? Deve seguir o famoso padrão de mensagens de texto: Don’t text him and he will text you?

Quando é que é a altura certa para falar em pôr uma etiqueta na vossa relação? É uma parvoíce se beijar o homem primeiro?

É demasiado cedo para dormir com ele? Deve fazer-se de difícil ou é melhor ser honesta desde o primeiro dia?

What a bunch of baloney! I can’t give you the answers you’re looking for. In fact, no dating expert can.

Why? Because you’re the only one who can. It’s your life and your relationship.

Por isso, esqueçam estes disparates regras modernas de namoro. If you don’t, all of the other dating advice for women is in vain.

Reach out if you feel like doing so. Like his tweets, reply to his story, ask him out for a second date…but don’t tolerate him ignorar as suas mensagens.

16. Expandir os seus horizontes.

Está habituada a conhecer novos rapazes nas discotecas? Ou só sai com os amigos dos amigos? Esqueça também isto.

It’s time to expand your horizons and really dive into the dating pool. Comece pelos sítios e aplicações de encontros.

There is nothing wrong with online dating, and people aren’t there to look for one-night stands only. If you know what you’re looking for, it’s easy to cut off those who don’t match your standards.

Tente sair num encontro às cegas. Ou, tente encontros rápidos.

O mais importante aqui é descobrir o que mais lhe convém no vasto mundo dos encontros.

17. Ignorar os sinais é uma forma de chegar ao destino errado.

The number one mistake you can make while dating is not paying attention to the red flags. You know exactly what I’m talking about; about those little signs you clearly see but choose to ignore just because it’s easier that way right now.

O seu objetivo final é ter um relação saudável with a man. Well, you won’t be able to do so with someone who is showing signs of toxicity, possessiveness, or abusive behavior right from the start.

Por favor, tirem os vossos óculos de sol cor-de-rosa. Não é altura de idealizar alguém com quem se deve cortar relações imediatamente.

I don’t care if he’s giving you butterflies. Run for your life and save yourself on time!

18. Deite fora a sua bagagem emocional.

You can’t swim with bricks in your back pockets, can you? Well, you can’t find Mr. Right if you’re still in any way connected with Mr. Wrong from your past.

É preciso livrar-se da sua bagagem emocional antes de mergulhar em algo novo.

And, I’m not talking about sending text messages or calling your ex only. I’m talking about still loving him and waiting for ele voltar também.

You can’t fight fire with fire, and a relação de ricochete won’t make your heart heal faster.

Actually, it will only push you deeper down the despair of your sadness. Besides, it’s not fair to date other guys while you’re waiting for a particular one to make a great comeback in your life.

Por isso, por favor, repara o teu coração partido antes de voltares a sair.

19. Tornar-se namorada.

Seja honesto e pergunte a si próprio: Se fosses um homem, namoravas contigo próprio? I know this is a tough one, but it’s one of the most important questions I’ve asked you today.

Forget about your insecurities and be as realistic as possible. Try observing yourself from someone else’s point of view.

És namorada ou material da esposa? Se não, que qualidades lhe faltam? São essas as coisas que deve trabalhar o mais rapidamente possível!

You’re so focused on finding your Mr. Right that you forget you have to become Mrs. Right as well.

20. Ouve os teus instintos.

When in doubt, listen to what your intuition has to say. Trust me – it never goes wrong.

Mas, por favor, primeiro aprenda a diferença entre um ataque de ansiedade que lhe diz que tudo vai sempre correr mal e o seu instinto que está lá para lhe mostrar o caminho.

O que não se deve fazer na fase inicial do namoro?

If you’ve been out of the dating world for a while, you probably forgot how easy it is to chase the guy you like away right after you start dating. Everything is still fragile between you two, and you have to be careful about your every move.

That’s why you have me: to give you the list of things you shouldn’t even think of doing in the initial dating stages:

1. Falar do teu ex.

2. Letting him know you’ve been stalking him.

3. Expor toda a sua personalidade.

4. Rebentar com o telemóvel.

5. Saltar a conversa sobre saúde antes de dormir com ele.

6. Permitir que ele te desrespeite.

7. Parece barato.

8. Apresentá-lo a todos os seus amigos e familiares.

O que é que uma mulher deve fazer pelo seu homem?

Se quiser manter um homem interessadoSe o seu namorado não está interessado em si, deve mostrar interesse nele. Em vez de se fazer de difícil, invista algum esforço nesta potencial relação.

Make sure he knows you’re into him. Send him flirty or cute textos de bom dia para ele. Show initiative, ask him out, reply to his texts, and be the first one to call and he’s all yours.

Como é que as mulheres melhoram nos encontros?

Sabes o que se diz: a prática leva à perfeição! Mas, aqui estão algumas outras dicas e truques para se tornar um melhor namorador:

1. Trabalhar as suas capacidades de comunicação.

2. Mostrar interesse.

3. Ser engraçado.

4. Don’t overthink it.

5. Dizer o que pensa.

6. Estar aberto a coisas novas.

7. Melhorar as suas capacidades de sedução.

8. Desfruta da tua vida de solteiro.

Para terminar:

Now that you’ve read all of my dating advice for women, you’re good to go! Now, all you’ve got to do is apply it to real life.

Easier said than done, I know. But, don’t expect to become a pro at dating after one try. It takes time for you to start implementing each one of these tips and tricks. Here’s an extra tip on como fazer com que um homem te persiga usando a psicologia masculina.

Um passo de cada vez e, quando der por si, o seu jogo de encontros estará no ponto!