When I was younger and (more) clueless about men, I wondered why someone couldn’t just knock on my door and tell me exactly what to do when it came to dating. Yes, I was talking to my friends, but it was like the blind leading the blind.
I needed professional guidance! I needed dating advice for women that actually worked.
Well, to cut the story short, I never got it. Instead, I had to learn from my own mistakes.
But, hey, there is a silver lining to every cloud. Now, dozens of heartbreaks later, here I am, wiser than ever.
And, here you are, lucky that you don’t have to wander around looking for your soulmate without the slightest idea of what you’re doing.
Why? Because I’ve got you covered. Here is the ultimate collection of dating tips and tricks that every woman wishes she knew sooner.
20 Dating Tips And Tricks
I have to warn you: some of the following advice will require a drastic change in your dating style. But, I promise you: it’ll all be worth it.
1. Make no apologies for setting high standards…
Before you even go out there, you need to know what your deal breakers are. But, please keep in mind that this is not the same as your preferences for men.
There are things you like and dislike about your potential boyfriend, and that’s perfectly okay.
However, I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about the things you wouldn’t tolerate under any circumstances.
What’s important is to be honest with yourself about these standards. Don’t let society, your best friend, or some random dude tell you that you’re asking for too much.
You know how much you’ve got to offer. You know your qualities and good sides, and there is no reason for you to settle for a man who’ll give you less than what you’re giving him.
Make no apologies for setting high standards. Moreover, don’t waste time on guys who don’t have the potential of matching them.
2. …but don’t be too picky.
Nevertheless, this is not an invitation to be overly picky. Knowing what to look for in a man is one thing, but not giving a guy a chance just because he’s not your Mr. Perfect is something completely else.
The best way to avoid this is to forget about types. Don’t put men in boxes.
Just because he’s not as tall or as rich as you imagined your boyfriend to be doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t dig a little deeper and find out more about his other qualities.
Also, be aware of your own flaws. I’m not telling you to be overly critical, but remember that you’re not perfect either.
You expect your date to accept your imperfections, don’t you? You expect your boyfriend to love you for who you really are, don’t you?
Well, you have to do the same. If you expect to find the perfect guy who’ll match each one of your standards, I have some bad news for you.
This is not a fairytale – it’s real life. There are no Prince Charmings out there.
3. Priorities over conveniences.
Every relationship expert will tell you the same: don’t obsess over guys. Don’t obsess over finding the right guy, and don’t obsess over a particular guy once you fall in love.
Sadly, this is something a lot of women do. They assume they’re not good enough as long as they’re single, and they turn this search into a life quest.
I know you want to find your best match. Let’s be honest, don’t we all?
But, that shouldn’t be your only priority. Be your own number one person regardless of whether you have a long-term relationship or not.
Being in love is great, but it’s not the only point of living. If you adopt this mindset, I assure you: your soulmate will come eventually.
4. The secret of life: knowing what you want and asking for it.
Another thing a lot of women do without even being aware of it is not knowing what and who they want. If this is something you can relate to, start by figuring out what and who you don’t want.
After that, proceed to realize what it is that you look for in a man. If it’s necessary, write down a list of qualities your Mr. Right needs to have. Once again, don’t lower your standards, but don’t forget to be realistic either.
Healthy communication leads to healthy relationships.
When you’re done with that, work on your communication skills. Guys aren’t mind readers, and you can’t expect a man to know the core of your being until the second date.
My dating experience tells me that men actually like having a girlfriend who tells them what she wants. Tell him how you like to be treated, where you want to go, what you want to eat…
More importantly… tell him when you’re bothered by something. Tell him that you want to go to dinner when he suggests Netflix and chill, that you’re ready to step your relationship up, or that you’re not happy with the way he treats you.
Look, I’m not making any promises here. I’m not saying that every guy will accept your demands.
But, at least you’ll know you tried.
5. Figure out the secrets of true love.
Let me give you the most important piece of dating advice for women: love and being in love are two different things.
It’s about time you stop dating Alpha men who give you butterflies and nothing else. I know that you’re hooked on thrills, a rollercoaster of emotions, and goosebumps.
But, I promise you that’s not real love. Actually, it’s more likely to be anxiety, but let’s leave it at that.
Get rid of the bad boys who give you uncertainty. You don’t need mixed signals and relationship games.
You need true love. However, before you get it, firstly, you have to understand what it is.
What is true love?
Everything you’ve felt until now is the sensation of being in love. But, real love gives you something else.
It gives you respect and stability. It gives you peace and appreciation. It gives you a long-term relationship and not random hook-ups.
6. Realize who’s worth the effort and who’s not.
Your time, effort, and energy are precious. So, why do you keep wasting them on guys you know are not worthy?
Sometimes, you’ll figure out who to ditch right on the first date. I don’t care if he’s a friend of a friend or if you’ve been a single woman for longer than you can remember.
If he’s not worthy of your attention – move on.
Sometimes, you won’t realize it the first time you meet. You’ll need to go way past a second date to understand he’s not for you.
And, that’s okay, too. Don’t stay in a relationship just because you’ve invested a lot in it.
If something isn’t going in the right direction, turn around and leave it behind. Trust me: it’s better late than never.
7. Assumptions are the termites of relationships.
Henry Winkler once said this famous line, and he couldn’t be more correct. In fact, dating coaches in the world will tell you the same.
You know how we talked about men not being mind readers? You agree with that, I suppose.
Well, what makes you think you’re better than them? Why do you think you can read your boyfriend’s mind?
If you have some doubts about his feelings, intentions, or plans, just be frank about it. Ask him, for God’s sake – that’s why you have the ability to talk.
The worst thing you can do is create imaginary scenarios in your head. I assure you – you’ll always think of the worst possible outcomes.
I’m not saying you should let a guy make a fool out of you and allow him to lie to you, despite all the evidence in front of you.
Nevertheless, always give him the benefit of the doubt. Talk to him about whatever is bothering you – you might be surprised with the answer.
8. Know your worth. Then, add tax.
One of the best pieces of relationship advice I ever got was to know my worth. No, that’s not strictly related to romantic relationships, but trust me – it’s more important than you might think.
Look, I’m not telling you to be an egocentric maniac, but don’t let your insecurities get the best of you either. Instead, work on your self-esteem as hard as you can – it will pay off.
It’s actually plain and simple. You can’t expect a guy to love you if you don’t love yourself.
If you don’t think that you’re good enough, you’ll think that it’s perfectly acceptable for a man in your life to think that way, too. If you show him that you don’t respect yourself, he’ll just follow your lead and disrespect you as well.
A woman who loves herself knows her worth, and will never settle for less than she deserves. She doesn’t need a man to give her validation, and she doesn’t allow herself to stay with someone who doesn’t make her happy.
9. You’re not a rehabilitation center.
We’re all adults here. Therefore, it’s not your responsibility to parent anyone.
It’s one thing to take care of your partner’s wellness – that’s what being a team is all about. However, you’re not here to raise anyone.
You’re not a rehabilitation institution for broken or damaged men.
He’s emotionally unavailable? He got his heart broken in his past relationship?
He’s abusive because he knows nothing better? He is jealous because he’s incapable of showing his love in a healthy way?
Tough break. He should go see a therapist and work on his issues that are none of your business.
I know this sounds brutal, but real life is brutal. It’s not your job to heal anyone’s traumas or to try and change men who clearly don’t want to be changed.
Your only mission is to make yourself happy!
10. Be kind, be fair, and be just.
Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean that you’re allowed to play dirty. There is nothing dishonest in refusing to fix broken men. That’s perfectly fine.
But, things like cheating, lying, and manipulating are not. The dating world is harsh, but that doesn’t mean you have to be.
Don’t let anyone walk over you and show you true strength if they try hurting you. However, do your best not to break any hearts in the process.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you’ll date a man out of sympathy or that you won’t break up a relationship because you feel sorry for the guy. Instead, you’ll tell him you’re not interested without any remorse.
Just be honest about your intentions no matter what happens. Don’t drag anyone along, don’t take guys for granted, don’t use them as self-esteem boosters, and don’t lie about your feelings to get what you want.
Here is a piece of relationship advice: don’t do to others what you don’t want to be done to you!
11. Be yourself – everyone else is taken.
So, this is probably the first tip you’ll get from every relationship expert out there. And, I know what you must think now: that this is just a worn out phrase.
But, trust me – it’s not. The best way to meet the love of your life is really to be yourself.
Forget about what society tells you to do. Forget about meeting some imaginary standards. Forget about the way your ex wanted you to behave and look.
Just be your true self.
Believe me when I tell you that guys notice when you’re pretending to be someone else just to make them like you more. In fact, it’s one of the major turn-offs for every real man.
I’m not advising you to spill all of your deepest traumas right there on the first date. It’s okay to be a little bit mysterious and challenge him to get to know you better.
However, false pretenses and deceptions are not cool.
12. Have fun in the process.
“In New York, they say you’re always looking for a job, a boyfriend, or an apartment.” – Sex and the City
Well, the most important thing in either of these cases is not the final outcome: it’s the process itself.
Here’s a crucial piece of dating advice for women: don’t turn this search for a boyfriend into something that has to be done. It’s not your 9-5 job, and you won’t get paid for it.
Please, have fun while you’re doing it. Use this time to work on yourself, and to learn a thing or a two about the woman you’re becoming.
Dating life is hard sometimes, that’s true. But, it’s your job to make it as amusing as possible.
And, in the meantime? Enjoy your life as a single woman as much as you can!
13. Set boundaries.
I don’t care what century it is; if you feel uncomfortable doing something, nobody has the right to argue against it. Yes, I’m talking about the bedroom here.
Don’t sleep with a guy until you feel ready for it. Don’t do it if you think he’ll change afterward. Don’t do it because you’re scared that he’ll leave you or because he’ll think of you as a prude.
To hell with it… don’t even kiss him unless you want it. You don’t owe him anything just because he took you out for dinner.
Social vs personal boundaries
Boundaries are more important than you can imagine, and you’re the one who has to set them. But, don’t let society do it for you.
If you don’t feel like kissing a guy on a second date – that’s your prerogative, and don’t even think of doing it.
But, what if a guy you’ve met on a dating site invites you over for Netflix and chill? You know it will be nothing more than a hook-up, but you still want to go.
On the other hand, you’re questioning it because you don’t know if it would be right. What will he think of you? Is it okay to go to his place without an actual first date beforehand?
Yes, it’s perfectly fine because that’s what you want.
14. Break your own toxic dating patterns.
Wherever I look, I run into women who got their hearts broken by awful, evil men. While I’m not arguing against that, isn’t it about time to wonder if we’re guilty of some toxic behaviors as well.
I know I am. Of course, it took me a lot of introspection to admit this. And, that’s exactly what you have to do.
Think about your entire dating experience. What were your biggest mistakes? What are the things you’d do differently this time if you had the chance to?
Well, here it is. Here is your chance to make things right. Reinvent yourself and break those toxic dating patterns once and for all.
15. Forget about modern dating rules.
When is the right time to talk about putting a label on your relationship? Is it foolish if you kiss the guy first?
Is it too soon to sleep with him? Should you play hard to get or is it better to be honest from the very first day?
What a bunch of baloney! I can’t give you the answers you’re looking for. In fact, no dating expert can.
Why? Because you’re the only one who can. It’s your life and your relationship.
So, please forget these foolish modern dating rules. If you don’t, all of the other dating advice for women is in vain.
Reach out if you feel like doing so. Like his tweets, reply to his story, ask him out for a second date…
16. Expand your horizons.
Are you used to meeting new guys in clubs? Or, are you only going out with friends of friends? Forget about this as well.
It’s time to expand your horizons and really dive into the dating pool. Start with dating sites and apps.
There is nothing wrong with online dating, and people aren’t there to look for one-night stands only. If you know what you’re looking for, it’s easy to cut off those who don’t match your standards.
Try going out on a blind date. Or, give a shot at speed dating.
The most important thing here is to figure out what suits you the best in the wide dating world.
17. Ignoring the signs is a way to end up at the wrong destination.
The number one mistake you can make while dating is not paying attention to the red flags. You know exactly what I’m talking about; about those little signs you clearly see but choose to ignore just because it’s easier that way right now.
Your final goal is to have a healthy relationship with a man. Well, you won’t be able to do so with someone who is showing signs of toxicity, possessiveness, or abusive behavior right from the start.
Please, take off your rose-tinted sunglasses. This is not the time to idealize someone you should cut ties with right away.
I don’t care if he’s giving you butterflies. Run for your life and save yourself on time!
18. Throw your emotional baggage away.
You can’t swim with bricks in your back pockets, can you? Well, you can’t find Mr. Right if you’re still in any way connected with Mr. Wrong from your past.
You must get rid of your emotional baggage before you dive into anything new.
And, I’m not talking about sending text messages or calling your ex only. I’m talking about still loving him and waiting for him to come back as well.
You can’t fight fire with fire, and a rebound relationship won’t make your heart heal faster.
Actually, it will only push you deeper down the despair of your sadness. Besides, it’s not fair to date other guys while you’re waiting for a particular one to make a great comeback in your life.
So, please work on repairing your broken heart before going out there again.
19. Become girlfriend material.
Be honest and ask yourself: If you were a man, would you date yourself? I know this is a tough one, but it’s one of the most important questions I’ve asked you today.
Forget about your insecurities and be as realistic as possible. Try observing yourself from someone else’s point of view.
Are you girlfriend or wife material? If not, what qualities do you lack? Those are the things you must work on ASAP!
You’re so focused on finding your Mr. Right that you forget you have to become Mrs. Right as well.
20. Listen to your guts.
When in doubt, listen to what your intuition has to say. Trust me – it never goes wrong.
But please, first learn the difference between an anxiety attack that is telling you everything will always go downhill, and your gut that is there to show you the way.
What should you not do in the early stages of dating?
If you’ve been out of the dating world for a while, you probably forgot how easy it is to chase the guy you like away right after you start dating. Everything is still fragile between you two, and you have to be careful about your every move.
That’s why you have me: to give you the list of things you shouldn’t even think of doing in the initial dating stages:
1. Talking about your ex.
2. Letting him know you’ve been stalking him.
3. Exposing your entire personality.
4. Blowing up his phone.
5. Skipping the health conversation before sleeping with him.
6. Allowing him to disrespect you.
7. Coming off as cheap.
8. Introducing him to all of your friends and family.
What should a woman do for her man?
If you want to keep a guy interested, you should show interest in him. Instead of playing hard to get, invest some effort into this potential relationship.
Make sure he knows you’re into him. Show initiative, ask him out, reply to his texts, and be the first one to call and he’s all yours.
How do women get better at dating?
You know what they say: practice makes perfect! But, here are some other tips and tricks to become a better dater:
1. Work on your communication skills.
2. Show interest.
3. Be funny.
4. Don’t overthink it.
5. Speak your mind.
6. Be open to new things.
8. Enjoy your single life.
To Wrap Up:
Now that you’ve read all of my dating advice for women, you’re good to go! Now, all you’ve got to do is apply it to real life.
Easier said than done, I know. But, don’t expect to become a pro at dating after one try. It takes time for you to start implementing each one of these tips and tricks.
One step at a time, and before you know it, your dating game will be on point!