22 cose a cui prestare attenzione quando qualcosa non quadra

We’re all familiar with the nagging feeling that something doesn’t feel right. That’s your gut instinct trying to warn you of something.

Bad things happen all the time but when your inner voice keeps telling you that your current situation leaves a lot to be desired, it’s time for some big decisions.

Whether it’s regarding your relazione romantica o della vita in generale, ascoltando attentamente il vostro sensazione istintiva è sempre una mossa saggia.

That little voice inside your head knows what it’s talking about. While pinpointing your issues and taking follow-up action is a lot of work, it beats waiting for an impending meltdown.

Let’s carefully examine what’s causing you this uneasiness in order to help you find the best solution for yourself.

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Il vostro partner ha iniziato ad allontanarsi da voi

Fino all'anno scorso, la vostra relazione era così sana che i vostri amici continuavano a chiedervi consigli. Ma la situazione è cambiata.

Now, your partner has started to distance themselves from you. There’s a palpable physical sensation of discord between you two. Something doesn’t feel right.

Sia che viviate in una piccola zona rurale o in una grande città, tutti hanno capito che la vostra autostima è ai minimi storici. 

You keep wondering if it’s something you did or if you simply found la persona sbagliata and now, it’s all coming down on you.

Modelli di comunicazione malsana e inefficiente

Una comunicazione sana è fondamentale per una relazione sana. A questo punto, tutti devono saperlo. E una volta era così per voi due.

Ora, però, il vostro partner è sfacciato e brusco con voi. Non riuscite a trovare una via di mezzo su nessuna questione. Continuate a esplodere l'uno contro l'altro, perché tutto vi sembra un attacco.

Non ricordate l'ultima volta che avete comunicato da adulti. Il vostro S/O passa più tempo sui social media a chattare con gli amici che con voi, cercando di risolvere le cose.

Should you keep pushing to salvage things or have you reached the final stop? The answer is within you. It’s time to start listening.

Notable changes in your significant other’s behavior

They’ve changed and a lot. Nobody can tell you otherwise. Their habits are no longer characteristic of them. They even hang out with new people.

Riconoscete a malapena questa persona e le sue azioni. Le cose che facevate insieme sono appassite nell'oblio.

The way they took care of you is long gone. Now, they’re someone new and you can’t figure out how or when this happened.

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Comportamento eccessivamente controllante

Il vostro partner ha iniziato a manifestare un comportamento di controllo. È estremamente appiccicoso e vuole sapere sempre dove si trova.

Non si può uscire con gli amici senza essere tempestati da un milione di messaggi o chiamate. Dove sei? Quando torni a casa? (nome di un amico) è con te in questo momento?

I could go on and on. It’s like they’re trying to take your freedom from you. Every decision you make you have to run by them.

When did they become this way? Why can’t they let you live your life the way you always have?

Frequenti discussioni tossiche

At this point, it feels like you’re fighting for the sake of fighting. There’s nothing you can do that your partner approves of.

If you’re being honest, something doesn’t feel right on your part either. You keep wanting to yell at them for no reason. 

It has gotten to the point where you have to stop yourself from reacting impulsively or else… 

Couples fight, you know that but this is different. It’s toxic, unhealthy and there is never any resolution in sight; just two people biting each other’s head off.

Un'improvvisa mancanza di empatia da parte vostra

Just like that, you stopped caring. You don’t know how and you don’t know why. It feels wrong and you’re ashamed but you can’t lie to yourself anymore. 

Your gut feeling has been telling you for a while now to break it off but you’re not sure anymore.

Have you become ice-cold? Is it actually you or has your partner brought this on themselves? It’s definitely something to ponder.

Comportamento emotivamente o fisicamente offensivo

L'abuso, a prescindere dalla sua natura, non è MAI accettabile. Né emotivo, né verbale e soprattutto abuso fisico.

The moment your relationship starts being disruptive in an abusive manner, call it quits. You don’t need your gut instinct to tell you this.

Meritate attenzione, devozione e apprezzamento. Se temete di non poter più essere voi stessi, andatevene prima che inizino ad accadere cose brutte.

La fiducia è finita da tempo

You used to trust your partner with your life but now, you’re not sure you’d let them watch your dog for an hour.

You simply sense that something doesn’t feel right and you can’t shake it off. It’s as if there is doom and gloom awaiting you if you stay with this person.

You cannot pinpoint exactly what it is but you’ve lost your confidence in them. There’s a clear wedge that has become insurmountable.

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Fare progetti senza l'altro

And the worst thing is, you don’t even mind! You couldn’t care less if your partner makes plans and doesn’t invite you. 

Questo significa che potrete ospitare il vostro gruppo e divertirvi senza di loro. 

Your need for their company has vanished. While this does worry you, it’s not enough to do something about it.

Perhaps the relationship has come to its natural end and one of you simply needs to say it out loud. It’s okay if you’ve grown apart. That’s how life goes sometimes.

La dinamica della vostra camera da letto è appassita

You used to be a beast in the sack and your partner knew exactly how to stay in tune with your body. But now, you can’t force yourself if your life depended on it.

You used to be extremely adventurous as a couple and did it basically anywhere but that has since gone and you don’t even care.

When something doesn’t feel right, it’s best to address it ASAP. There’s no point in staying with someone who just doesn’t do it for you anymore.

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La vostra mente è inquieta e vi impedisce di essere presenti.

Vi sforzate di incontrarvi con gli amici e di recuperare il tempo perduto, ma la vostra mente vi rende difficile essere presenti.

It’s like they are out there living their best life and trying to reconnect with you and you cannot bring yourself to actually listen and communicate with them.

La vostra mente va costantemente a 200 all'ora e questo influisce pesantemente sulle vostre relazioni con le altre persone. 

La vostra incapacità di essere presenti ha iniziato a creare un cuneo tra voi e i vostri amici. Volete davvero cambiare, ma qualcosa continua a tirarvi indietro.

You’ve been neglecting to take care of your mind, body and soul

Even though you’ve always attempted to find the time to stay active, hit the gym and be conscious of your health, you’re finding it harder and harder to do so.

There’s always something more important that you need to do and you keep postponing gym time. You promise yourself that you’ll make up for it the following week but you don’t.

You can’t understand how you’ve become this way. You do care about yourself, you want to be proactive, so what gives?

Avete abitudini di spesa eccessivamente zelanti.

You’ve never been much of a spender but boy, has that changed. Your online shopping has started to become worrisome.

Your credit card balance is also a clear sign that you should hit the brakes but you can’t. 

You see something and you have to have it. Your sound mind has gone out the window and there’s a new girl (o guy) in town and they’re trying to bankrupt you.

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You haven’t got in touch with anyone in your life for too long

I vostri amici sono in attesa. La vostra vita sociale è sospesa. Continuate a cercare di gestire il vostro tempo e di trovare una finestra per tornare dalle persone, ma senza successo.

You can’t recall the last time you had a proper conversation with your friends. You’ve got dozens of texts and DMs waiting to be seen but they’re at the bottom of your list.

Here’s the deal. Your work should never trump your personal relationships. At the end of the day, your people are the only ones who’ll stick by you when things get rough. Non lavoro.

So, it’s time to reevaluate your time and how you spend it. Nurture those relationships and stop neglecting those who matter most.

You haven’t had a vacation in ages

You’re long overdue for a vacation. You know this but you can’t seem to do anything about it. Your life feels all sorts of messed up as you keep neglecting to take care of yourself.

You haven’t had a proper break for ages. You’ve been feeling the negative effects a lot lately. Your mind needs a break.

“The biggest wall you have to climb is the one you build in your mind: Never let your mind talk you out of your dreams, trick you into giving up. Never let your mind become the greatest obstacle to success. To get your mind on the right track, the rest will follow.” – Roy. T. Bennett

Your ‘go-go-go’ mode makes you think of everyone else as lazy

Siete costantemente in movimento. Non riuscite a smettere di lavorare e di essere eccessivamente ambiziosi, il che ha iniziato a disturbare la vostra vita. la tua mente.

Quando si socializza con gli amici e li si sente parlare di uscire, divertirsi e semplicemente rilassarsi, la mente li classifica come pigri.

Here’s the 411. It’s OK to nurture your ‘go-go-go’ mode as long as it doesn’t reflect on the quality of your life and most importantly, how you perceive your friends.

People are entitled to have fun and relax after a long, hard day. And the reason why something doesn’t feel right is that you keep denying yourself a much-needed break.

You’re not eating well

You’ve stopped keeping up with your body’s demands. Your diet has become extremely unhealthy and you merely throw stuff in your mouth during your five-minute breaks.

Il lavoro (o qualsiasi altra cosa occupi la vostra mente) ha occupato così tanto tempo che le vostre abitudini alimentari sono diventate preoccupanti.

You used to pay great attention to what you put in your body but now, you’re feeling anxious, uneasy and constantly on-the-go that you simply don’t have time anymore.

It’s time to start prioritizing yourself and your health. Your energy levels will decrease if you keep acting in this self-destructive manner.

If something feels off in your life, address it. Don’t take it out on your health.

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Che cosa vi preoccupa veramente?

Tutti noi, prima o poi, siamo soggetti a forti attacchi di stress, ma per arrivare alla soluzione dei problemi è necessario comprenderne le cause.

Qual è l'unica cosa che vi ha attanagliato nelle ultime settimane o mesi? È stato il vostro partner tossico che non vi fa più sentire felici? 

È l'atmosfera dell'ufficio e il modo in cui i suoi colleghi si sono comportati con lei? I vostri figli (se ne avete) vi fanno venire voglia di sparire a volte?

Figure this one out and you’ll be closer to your answer.

Come vi fa sentire quella cosa e potete influenzarla?

I know that this sounds like such a cliché but it’s the natural next step in helping you cope during stressful times.

Come vi fa sentire questa cosa? Le avete concesso troppo spazio nella vostra testa? Potete influenzare il modo in cui vi lasciate influenzare?

It’s all about understanding the external factors so that you can influence how they affect you internally. You’d be flabbergasted at how easy it is to simply turn this little voice off.

Le cose non sono quasi mai così gravi come si pensa e, in ultima analisi, siete VOI a scegliere come sentirvi alla fine di tutto. Provate e vedrete i cambiamenti.

Quali sono i modi migliori per gestire questa situazione?

Quando vi trovate di fronte a un bivio e non sapete quale scelta fare, chiedetevi quale soluzione aumenterebbe la qualità della vostra vita.

Quali sono gli effetti di ciascuna scelta sul lungo periodo? Questo lo sapete solo voi e dovete fare una buona scelta.

Just don’t let yourself react impulsively. Always consider the bottom line and go in whichever direction leads you toward it.

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Quali sono i vantaggi e gli svantaggi della sua posizione?

Listing the pros and cons has always been my favorite thing whenever I’m facing a dilemma. It’s all organized neatly and making the decision is so much easier.

I pro superano i contro? Si può cambiare in qualche modo? Si può desiderare per cambiarlo?

Once you’ve gone through the list and fully understand the position you find yourself in, then you can make changes. Why? Because you’ve educated yourself enough to do so.

Non prendete mai decisioni importanti durante uno scatto d'ira. Rilassatevi, aspettate, fate la vostra lista e valutate razionalmente le opzioni. 

State inseguendo l'impossibile?

When something doesn’t feel right, we immediately feel like giant changes are needed. But are they really?

Listen, sometimes you’re just doing the best with what you’ve got. Sure, there are always ways in which you can improve, as listed above but sometimes, we tend to chase the impossible.

You’re probably wondering what the hell I’m talking about. It’s simple. Perfection isn’t real. Nobody has it all figured out and nobody’s exempt from feeling overstretched at times.

But that doesn’t mean that you’re doing something wrong. It just means that your current situation isn’t ideal. But this too shall pass.

If you’ve reflected on la tua vita and realized that there isn’t much you’d do differently, then just don’t! Your distress will pass and things will start normalizing again.

When you find yourself chasing after something elusive, hit the brakes. You’re not superhuman, so stop putting unrealistic expectations on yourself.

And remember…

“Eventually all things fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moments, and know EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.” – Albert Schweitzer