Essere innamorati del proprio partner non vi rende compatibili

Permettetemi di iniziare con una domanda: quante volte siete stati innamorati al punto che avreste fatto di tutto per rendere felice una persona in particolare, ma la la relazione si è rivelata tossica in the end for the both of you? Too many times, right? That is a truly simple example of the fact that you can be in love with someone even though you’re not compatible.

I have figured this out on my own skin. I wasn’t as heartbroken by the fact that we weren’t meant to be together as I was when I found out that all those dreams I had about the two of us growing old together were going to stay just dreams. I wanted to love him until the end of our times, but we simply weren’t meant to be.

There were very simple differences like the fact that he was a night owl and I was an early bird. Then, there were bigger ones like he didn’t have the need to talk about his feelings nor listen to me talk about mine, because he simply found it to be a boring topic. While I? I can always talk and extend my mind. I can always tell you that the way I feel at any moment is connected to a certain event in the past and that I get triggered by usual, everyday things. Yes. We were that different.

La differenza più grande tra noi era la percezione che avevamo della nostra relazione. Lasciate che vi dica che lui era una persona piuttosto indipendente, un solitario, si potrebbe dire, mentre io, d'altra parte, sono una persona molto estroversa che ama stare con le persone che amo. Quindi, ovviamente, adoravo stare con lui, mentre lui aveva sempre bisogno di stare da solo.

It the end, it always resulted in fights, me yelling that he doesn’t love me at all and him denying it, telling me that I had gone completely mad. It was obvious to see that our relationship wasn’t going anywhere. When we were breaking up, I was heartbroken to know the real reason—when he came up to me and told me that he loved me to death but we simply weren’t right for each other.

My mind went blank and all I could think about at that time was that he was lying! I told him that we were perfect for each other. I begged him to not do this because things weren’t that bad at all. I said that I loved him, too, so how could we not be compatible? How could I fall in love with someone who wasn’t right for me?

Quando le cose cominciarono a chiarirsi nella mia mente, vidi di cosa aveva parlato quel giorno. Alla fine l'ho visto chiaramente. Ogni volta che parlavamo, non guardavamo mai le cose dalla stessa prospettiva. Io ero troppo emotiva per la sua razionalità e lui semplicemente aveva priorità più grandi than me. But it doesn’t change the fact that my chest still hurts from the mere thought of it.

Volevo che rimanesse al mio fianco. Volevo che mi parlasse. Volevo che fosse presente per me e forse anche lui voleva tutte queste cose, ma in modo completamente diverso. Per questo motivo, ci siamo lasciati e non ci siamo più parlati.

That’s why you should never be devastated when you fall in love but you two end up going your separate ways. You shouldn’t be depressed; you shouldn’t be sad. Love simply wasn’t enough for the two of you to stay together. Relationships are hard work, a lot of talking and they are about having a shoulder to cry on. Some people simply can’t give you that in the amount that you would want to have it.

Until you find the man who is perfect for you, meeting your needs and appreciating you fully, don’t just sit around singhiozzi e pianti, because it’s not something that will help you at all. Jsappiate che verrà davvero, ricordate che vi amerà completamente e vi accetterà pienamente. Sarete tutto ciò che ha sempre desiderato e anche di più. Lo amerete e questa volta, forse, l'amore sarà sufficiente.