I fondamenti di una relazione gratificante

There are a few things that you can do to make your relationship with your significant other not only last but feel secure and rewarding. Many times, things get overwhelmingly busy and we’re so focused on other aspects of our lives that it becomes difficult to center our thoughts on the things that truly matter. Dobbiamo investire nella nostra relazione, e far sentire amata la persona che amiamo. Ecco alcuni dei principi fondamentali e pietre di passaggio di una partnership sana e significativa.

Rinforzo positivo. Gli studi hanno dimostrato che le coppie felici si impegnano in un rinforzo positivo, mentre le unioni infelici spesso si concentrano maggiormente sulle punizioni. Coloro che rafforzano il loro status concordando, ridendo, approvando, sorridendo e fornendo altre forme di feedback positivo tendono ad avere legami più forti. Come suggerisce la legge dell'attrazione, il simile attrae il simile.Se mantenete vibrazioni positive nella vostra coppia, è più probabile che riceviate positività in cambio. Se invece siete troppo concentrati sulla sfiducia e sulla difesa, è probabile che il vostro partner percepisca questa energia e vi offra la stessa cosa in cambio.

Attenzione. We all need to know that we’re wanted, desired, and loved by our partner. It’s human nature. So, we need to devote sufficient attention to the union in order for it to last. Monogamy isn’t easy, and this is why more than half of all marriages end in divorce. Studies have actually suggested that it is statistically more likely for partners to cheat on each other than to remain faithful. That’s the sad reality of the world we live in. And, much of the desire to step outside the partnership stems from lack of attention. It is important to show the relationship is worth your while. Of course, there are a million other important obligations to tend to on a daily basis but, your relationship has to be a top priority. Make sure you’re not only offering attention, but you are receiving it as well. Le relazioni non sono unilaterali ed è necessario che entrambi i membri si impegnino attivamente per farle funzionare.

Tocco fisico. It’s a proven fact—we all need touch. It is important to be affectionate and to show your feelings in a physical way. Doing so will increase the level of attraction between you two, which must be evident for a relationship to last. Piccoli gesti, come tenersi per mano o un abbraccio affettuoso, possono fare molta strada.

Perdono. We’re all human and we’re bound to make mistakes. Ever hear the saying, ‘Go ahead and judge me—just remember to stay perfect the rest of your life’? It’s because it’s unfair to hold anyone else to a standard we ourselves will never achieve. We wouldn’t want our partner to criticize everything we do and hold a grudge if we make a mistake. So, we too need to be willing to forgive. Non c'è niente che faccia fallire una relazione più velocemente della punizione con il rancore. Plus, when you refuse to forgive, you’re not just hurting the other person but you’re hurting yourself the most. Harboring feelings of ill-will and resentment will take a toll on your health. You must learn to forgive others in order to usher out any negativity and clear the path to lasting happiness.

L'inaspettato. Gran parte della nostra vita si basa sulla routine. Abbiamo responsabilità quotidiane attorno alle quali ruotano i nostri programmi e, dal momento del risveglio, di solito abbiamo un'idea generale di dove ci porterà la giornata. Quindi, infondere un po' di spontaneità in una relazione di coppia e movimentare un po' le cose può essere divertente. We’ve all been told to ‘expect the unexpected’ but we rarely do.  You don’t have to go on a spending spree and buy lavish gifts that are sure to wow your significant other. Something as simple as offering to take care of a task that is typically on the other person’s list can make your bond grow stronger. This is a little token of appreciation and gratitude that will truly go a long way.

While we may believe we all intuitively have what it takes to make a relationship work, at the end of the day actions speak louder than words—saying and doing are two completely different things. Don’t just tell your partner how much they mean to you, show them. Work each day to make your union last.