Una lettera di avvertimento al mio "futuro" ex fidanzato

So che non ci siamo ancora incontrati, ma voglio usare questa lettera per scusarmi in anticipo. Voglio dire che mi dispiace. E spero che dopo aver letto questa lettera, un giorno capirai.

I know we will start something amazing and I know one of us is going to have to let go at some point. It’s not pessimism, but it’s my prior bad experiences that have led me to predict this will happen.

Don’t ever think you weren’t enough. You were. But you met me when I wasn’t enough, not even for myself. The last relationship made me tired, so tired of feeling. Now I am half of the women that I used to be. E sto aspettando che tu mi salvi da me.

I know that’s not fair. I know that I am the one who should be saving myself. I know I will hurt you because I don’t have anything else left to give you. I know…and I am sorry.

Meritavi di più than being my temporary superhero. But, that’s what I need right now—someone to save me from myself, to show me that love can be kind.

Mi mancavano tutti gli aspetti positivi di una relazione. Mi mancava qualcuno che si prendesse cura di me quando sono troppo stanca per prendermi cura di me stessa. Mi mancava qualcuno che mi stringesse forte e facesse sembrare i miei problemi più piccoli di quanto non siano. So che tu farai questo per me.

I know it’s not fair for you to pay for all the bad things that happened in my past relationships. I don’t want to take it out on you. I don’t want all my insecurities reflected on your skin, but it will happen. Cause I don’t know how to survive any other way.

There is a slight chance you will tolerate and support me long enough and make me feel again. To make me pick myself back up again because you can’t do it for me. I have to be my own hero. There’s no other way.  Devo trovare il modo di stare da solo per poter stare con te.

Questo sarebbe il mio più grande desiderio. Spero che si avveri.

If it doesn’t, please forgive me.

I know it’s not fair. I know…and I am sorry.