A colui che mi ha picchiato fino a farmi morire emotivamente

Caro “Savior”,

Who would have thought I will be thanking you after all you have done to me? Isn’t life full of surprises? One moment you are dying inside and the other one you are finally free—you are the happiest person alive.

Well, my dear, thank you for giving me the gift of freedom. Thank you for giving me the gift of life. Thank you for making me realize I’m much more than I thought.

Grazie per avermi fatto morire emotivamente. Solo allora avrei potuto rinascere. Solo allora, quando non avevo più nulla da perdere, ho potuto rendermi conto di ciò che mi stavo perdendo.

Thank you for making me see that I need a man by my side—not you, not a dirty little cockroach, but un vero uomo.

Thank you for making me realize I can’t sink much lower from where I am now. I’ve hit rock bottom. That fall beat some sense back to me. That hit in the head was the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Per la prima volta, quell'ondata di sangue non era stata vana. Per la prima volta, cadere svenuti fu un bel sogno e non un incubo.

Tutte le volte che mi hai fatto perdere i sensi, ti ho sognato. Non volevo mai svegliarmi perché sapevo che mi sarei svegliato al tuo fianco. Perché sapevo che il mio incubo non sarebbe mai finito.

Questa volta era diverso. Questa volta volevo svegliarmi e reagire. E l'ho fatto.

I fought with everything I’ve got. I thought that I didn’t have it in me anymore.

Per un breve periodo di tempo, me l'hai portata via—along with my pride, self-respect, self-worth and independence.

I thought I was nothing without you. I was scared of living my life without you. I thought you were the one who’s going to help me.

Non ho mai pensato che fossi tu a trattenermi.

Every second I spent with you was like trying to swim in a deep and vast cold ocean with no help on the horizon. I swam and I swam, but something was pulling me down—it was you.

Non più. Quella notte orribile è stata la notte in cui mi sono finalmente liberata dalla tua presa. All'improvviso, vidi la riva e riuscii a nuotare verso la terraferma.

It all began with a simple question that night. A question that turned into an explosion. You were yelling—that was nothing new. I got used to your sharp notes when you screamed at me. It was like I was listening to the most beautiful notes anyone ever wrote.

Then, it got rough. You’ve pulled me down onto the floor like I was a piece of nothing. You dragged me by my hair with your fists full of it. Your cold heartless hands were wrapped around my neck.

I was begging for you to kill me. No, you didn’t. You kept me hanging on a thin line between death and life. Just to make me suffer.

L'ultima cosa che ricordo è un colpo freddo e secco alla testa. Ed è stato così. Pensavo di essere finalmente morto. Invece ho fatto un sogno.

The most beautiful dream. The dream that finally set me free. The dream that said: “Get it together!”

Grazie per questo. Grazie per averla presa un po' troppo sul serio.

Quel piccolo passo in più che hai fatto ha significato molto per me.

Mi ha reso libero.

Cordiali saluti,

Il vostro ex amante