Ecco come riconoscere un uomo distrutto con un bagaglio emozionale

Quando si sente parlare di uomini distrutti, si presume che si sia in grado di riconoscerli subito, a prima vista. Pensate che questo tipo di uomo non potrebbe mai ingannarvi e che almeno il vostro intuito vi direbbe che qualcosa non va.

But trust me—that couldn’t be further from the truth.

When you first meet a damaged guy who carries a lot of emotional baggage within himself, you will have no idea about everything he’s been through. Instead, he will act like any other guy.

Actually, he even might act better than any man you’ve met before him. You might think you’ve finally found the man of your dreams and that he is everything you’ve been waiting for.

But as time goes by, you’ll see some segni di rottura. You’ll see that there is something bothering him, deeply hidden inside of him. And you’ll try to figure out what this is.

Sebbene ogni individuo sia diverso, tutti gli uomini spezzati hanno alcuni elementi in comune.

Prima di tutto, questo ragazzo sarà probabilmente misterioso con voi. Sarà riservato sul suo passato e sulle sue emozioni.

At first, you’ll assume he is just pretending to be this tough guy and that he might not be in touch with his feelings. You’ll think that he is afraid of looking too desperate and less of a man in front of you and that is why he pretends to be cold.

But you’ll try very hard to get to the bottom of this. You’ll want to know what is hiding behind this mask and you’ll want to meet the man who is hidden deep inside of this guy. You’ll want to meet the real him.

E anche se il suo lato misterioso dovrebbe allontanarvi, in realtà vi avvicinerà ancora di più a lui.

You’ll see that this guy is cold toward everyone and you’ll have the urge to change that. You’ll have the urge to prove to him and to yourself that you can become special to him—that you can be the only person in this world he trusts and can open up to.

You’ll think he is special and his love is special, because he apparently isn’t giving it away to just anyone who comes into his life.

Anche quando si accetta che è emotivamente danneggiato, you’ll want to prove that you are the only one worthy of his love and trust. You’ll want to prove to yourself that you have a special place in his life, that you are different from everyone else and that you’ll manage to do some things nobody before you has.

You’ll never know much about this guy’s dating history, about his traumas from the past, about his trust issues, his insecurities or his anxiety and depression.

Whenever this guy feels bad, he’ll want you to stay away. He might simply disappear on you, wanting some time for himself because he feels like he can’t trust anyone and that he can solve his problems on his own.

Anche se all'inizio questo ragazzo potrebbe fingere di essere molto sicuro di sé, la verità è che nel profondo sente di non essere abbastanza per voi. La verità è che è emotivamente insicuro e che si paragona a tutti gli altri uomini, ma cerca solo di mascherarlo.

You’ll never know his weaknesses and you’ll rarely see his vulnerable side. Potreste pensare che si vergogni di mostrarvi questo suo lato, ma la verità è che ha paura.

This guy is terrified to give you his heart and to open up to you, because he is certain you’ll use all of this against him, despite the fact that you’ve never done anything that could make him think or feel this way.

So che questa è l'ultima cosa che vuole farvi sapere, ma la verità è che quest'uomo soffre di un trauma da abbandono. La verità è che è stato ferito e danneggiato in passato e ha perso la fiducia nelle persone, soprattutto nelle donne.

It’s simple—he assumes that every woman who comes into his life will break him even more and will hurt him the same way someone toxic from his past did.

Così ha creato uno scudo, una facciata per proteggersi da tutti, che lo ha reso emotivamente non disponibile.

And you’ll have to be pretty damn special to change that.