Cos'è il micro-cheating (e perché può essere pericoloso)

The thing with micro-cheating is that it’s very hard to detect. It is a form of tradimento emotivo and it’s getting more and more common among people who like to leave their options open, even if they are already in a relationship.

Let’s first get to the real meaning of this trendy expression. According to psychologist Melanie Schilling, “Micro-cheating is a series of seemingly small actions that indicate a person is emotionally or physically focused on someone outside their relationship.”

Some people look at it as a form of betrayal and some as innocent flirting that is blown out of proportion. Why, flirting can be a part of nature for some people, it’s something fun they do without giving it any higher meaning.

D'altra parte chi vorrebbe avere una relazione con una persona che:

1. Dedica molto tempo alla scansione e all'indagine degli account dei social media di una determinata persona.
2. Invia a qualcun altro messaggi commoventi pieni di emoji d'amore.
3. Nega di avere una fidanzata/un fidanzato
4. Il telefono di quella persona ha un nome in codice.
5. Rimane in contatto con il suo ex o lo vede alle sue spalle.
6. Confides in someone outside of your relationship about the things that should stay private or reserved for your partner’s ears only

While some people will discard the things listed above and try to justify their behavior, like justify that they haven’t kissed them, they haven’t had sex with them or anything like that, it still doesn’t feel right. Mantenere i segreti like that from your partner can’t be a good thing and it will most probably backfire. Nothing positive can happen when a person who is in a relationship has an obsession with somebody else. It can be really hurtful.
Innocent flirting, if it can be considered innocent, would consist of smiling here and there, making interesting conversation or liking each other’s posts. That is considered normal.

But anything beyond that can be a serious threat to your relationship. A person who engages in micro-cheating can form a strong emotional bond with somebody and that can be as hurtful to their partner as actual physical cheating. Being faithful to your partner means being entirely devoted, both body and mind. It doesn’t mean catching feelings for somebody else.

That’s why if you are overdoing anything, if you are hiding things from your partner, or feeling guilty about not sharing some things with him, you should completely stop what you are doing, for the sake of your relationship.

Pensate a cosa vi ha spinto a farlo e se c'è qualcosa che vi sta facendo infelice nella sua relazione. Are they any issues you need to discuss with your partner? Because the solution to your problems is never somebody outside of your relationship. It’s always about just two people. You can’t escape your problems, especially in this way, and you wouldn’t want to hurt your partner’s feelings.

Se sospettate che il vostro partner sia coinvolto in qualcosa di simile, deve essere successo qualcosa che ha piantato il seme del dubbio nella vostra mente. Il suo comportamento potrebbe essere cambiato, potreste aver visto qualche messaggio o qualche nome sconosciuto sul suo telefono che vi ha fatto venire il dubbio che ci fosse qualcosa di più.

L'importante è non reagire in modo eccessivo. Prendete le cose con calma. Tanto per cominciare, il vostro partner potrebbe farlo solo a livello inconscio. Potrebbe non fare assolutamente nulla, ma a volte la gelosia prende il sopravvento.
Parlategli quando siete tranquilli e calmi e chiedetegli perché lo sta facendo. Chiedetegli cosa penserebbe se le cose stessero al contrario e se scoprisse che vi state avvicinando o vi state appassionando a qualcuno che non sia lui. Ditegli che il suo comportamento vi fa male e che apprezzereste molto se smettesse di fare quello che sta facendo. Non c'è niente di così potente come una conversazione aperta e onesta. Potrebbe persino risolvere la situazione.

Micro-cheating can be really devastating to your relationship if things go any further. Keeping secrets from your partner is never a good thing. Relationships are built on trust and respect and if they are non-existent, your relationship won’t be able to survive. So honesty really is the best policy.