5 segni che in realtà hai paura di guarire (e non te ne rendi conto)

Nonostante tutto quello che dicono, alcune persone si rifiutano di lasciare andare i ricordi e il dolore. Si aggrappano al passato, senza nemmeno esserne consapevoli.

There are people who don’t allow time to do its magic. The ones who refuse to start the repairing process simply because it means they’d have to accept the end. The ones who don’t want to heal because they are scared of the real life which awaits them after they recover.

Here are 5 signs that you’re one of these people and that your fear is responsible for the fact that you’re not guarigione.

1. Si ricordano solo le cose belle

The first sign you actually don’t want to let go lies in the fact that you don’t look at your past relationship realistically. Instead of remembering things the way they really were, you only think of the good times and beautiful memories.

Tenendo presente questo, è perfettamente naturale che pensiate al passato come a qualcosa di molto migliore di quello che è stato in realtà. Idealizzate il vostro ex e tutto ciò che avete provato accanto a lui, il che vi rende impossibile guarire.

Vi soffermate sul potenziale della vostra relazione passata, pensando a tutte le cose che sarebbero potute e dovute accadere se aveste fatto funzionare le cose. Invece, dovreste guardare la verità negli occhi e capire che è finita per un motivo valido e che non era affatto perfetta.

2. Romanzate il dolore

While looking at your relationship through rose-tinted glasses, somehow you’ve also managed to romanticize the emotional pain that’s been consuming you. Instead of seeing it as something you need to get rid of ASAP, you’ve found something noble and divine in it.

Deep down, you are proud of yourself for being this consistent. You’re proud of being capable of loving one man for as long as you breathe, even if this is the man who’s caused you so much harm.

Well, let me tell you something—despite everything the love songs, poems and novels are trying to tell you, there is nothing poetic about wasting years crying over someone. There is nothing romantic about being emotionally damaged and there doesn’t exist such a thing as being beautifully broken.

3. E divenne familiare

Another sign that you’re scared of healing, without even realizing it, is the fact that with years, the pain has become familiar. This is something you don’t see at first but if you dig through your subconscious, you’ll see that it really did become your comfort zone.

After so much time you’ve spent suffering, holding on to the past and thinking about the man who hurt you became a habit of yours. After so much time, you convinced yourself that sadness is the only emotion you know how to feel.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying that you should have pretended that the pain isn’t real because that wouldn’t bring you any good either. However, it is obvious that you’ve allowed it to definire chi siete.

Whether you like to admit it or not, the fact is that you’ve ceased to exist outside of the pain. You’ve stopped being a daughter, a sister, a mother or a friend and you’ve reduced your entire being to a broken-hearted woman. Please, remember that you’re much more than that!

4. Pensi che tutti siano come il tuo ex

Quando una persona vi fa così male, è naturale che perdiate la fiducia in tutta l'umanità. Pensate che tutti abbiano l'intenzione di spezzarvi il cuore e che tutti gli uomini siano uguali al vostro ex.

Così, senza nemmeno esserne consapevoli, vi aggrappate al suo ricordo perché è meglio che mettervi in gioco ed esporre le vostre vulnerabilità a qualcuno di nuovo che potrebbe finire per trattarvi come ha fatto il vostro ex.

5. Or that you’ll never find someone like him

Of course, there is also the possibility that you’re convinced you’ll never trovare qualcuno di meglio and that no man on this earth could ever make you feel the way he did. Maybe your ex-boyfriend manipulated you into thinking that he was the best you’d ever find so now you think it is pointless to even try searching for someone new.

Not wanting to settle for a loveless relationship just so you don’t end up being single is one thing. However, not giving anyone a chance just because you are convinced you could never love again after your ex is not only foolish but is also a sure-fire sign that you are actually afraid of healing.