Preferirei rimanere per sempre single piuttosto che giocare a questi 12 giochi di appuntamenti
Basta con i giochi di appuntamenti. Sono esausta.
I don’t like playing them, and I hate feeling like a toy a man can easily toss.
All the tactics, head games, chasing, who texted who first, who is clingy, who is cool… are not allowing me to enjoy dating.
I want something normal—a relationship in which a man and a woman meet each other halfway. Without all the drama, chasing and hoping in vain.
Lo giuro, preferirei rimanere per sempre single than play along with someone’s dating game.
Queste sono le cose che mi rifiuto di fare:
1. Fingere di non essere interessato
It’s a thin line between interested and clingy. That’s why we all try to play it cool. We are so careful not to reveal too much that we seem stone cold.
I am tired of it. What’s the point in non-texting back ASAP when you want to or saying you can’t go out with them tonight when every atom of your being says you do.
Pretending like you couldn’t care less for the person is just as much a turnoff as clinginess. That’s why, if you ask me, the best thing is to find the middle ground and stay true to your feelings.
2. Provocare la gelosia
I’ve been in situations where the person I am into would check out other women in front of me or flirt with them just to see my reaction.
It’s a low blow, and I don’t want anybody to feel as miserable as I did in those moments.
Quindi, se l'unico modo per conquistare il ragazzo è farlo ingelosire, allora non è quello giusto per me.
3. Ritardo nella risposta
I think most of us have tried this technique. We’ve been told time and time again that replying within a few seconds of getting a text will make us seem desperate.
Quindi, aspettiamo per un'ora o più e poi rispondiamo nella speranza che un uomo ci insegua.
Potrebbe esserci del vero in questo, e a volte potrebbe anche funzionare. Tuttavia, preferirei non farlo perché so quanto mi sono sentita male quando è stato fatto lo stesso con me.
Controllavo il telefono ogni pochi minuti. Guardare uno schermo vuoto era così deludente che mi rendeva triste.
I get that not every text can be answered right away, but they can’t all be replied to too late, now can they? It’s playing head games, and I won’t be a part of it.
4. Dare false speranze
I’ve never done this to anyone, but I’ve been incordato nel passato. Vivere nell'attesa di qualcosa che potrebbe essere, sperando in giorni migliori, è una perdita di tempo.
From now on, either we are in an exclusive relationship or we are nothing. Everything besides that is a kind of torture I don’t need in my life. I’ve been through a lot as it is.
Being somebody’s almost when they are your everything is the worst, and I won’t play along. I won’t be anybody’s toy.
5. Agire come se fossimo interessati alle stesse cose
Pretending I like football or hockey when I don’t know the first thing about it is not for me. It’s for the girls in high school who desperately want their crush to like them.
I’m too old for that shit, to put it bluntly. Me and my potential significant others don’t have to have everything in common.
Avere alcuni interessi simili è più che sufficiente per avere conversazioni significative e legare.
If we don’t even have a few, it’s better to know right from the start than act like I am somebody I am not. I would be exhausted from it in no time.
6. Essere usato come mezzo per far ingelosire la sua ex.
It’s an awful thing falling in love for someone who is using you to get back at their ex. That situation is hurtful for everybody involved.
It’s despicable, and I don’t want to be a part of it. Where there are ex issues involved, I am not there.
7. Fingere l'amore per fare sesso
When I look back, it seems like almost every other guy I ever dated had the same agenda—how to get into my pants.
Fingere di essere sinceramente interessati, di volere qualcosa di più di una relazione occasionale, persino dire “I love you” sono tutti mezzi per raggiungere un fine. Dire bugie viene loro naturale.
Evoking someone’s feelings without having any intention to love them is the lowest of the lows.
Penso che avrei più rispetto per un uomo che dice onestamente che vuole solo rimorchiare che per quei bugiardi che giocano con le mie emozioni.
8. Essere riservati su una relazione
I don’t want other people to know about us; I am still not ready for that. Others knowing would mess everything up, and similar phrases are things I don’t want to hear.
If I am with someone, I want the world to know. It doesn’t have to be after a few dates, but once we establish we are in a relationship, it has to be a public one, not a secret one.
Siamo adulti e dovremmo comportarci come tali. Se un uomo ha tutti i vantaggi del fidanzato quando siamo soli, può comportarsi come il mio fidanzato anche quando siamo in pubblico.
9. Giocare a giochi di testo
Who texted who first shouldn’t be an issue. Both sides involved should make equal efforts in texting.
What shouldn’t happen is one person initiating conversations always or most times. It shows disinterest and laziness.
Iniziare una conversazione durante un appuntamento significa che le due persone coinvolte devono incontrarsi a metà strada. Nulla deve essere unilaterale.
I mean if we can’t even text like normal human beings, what more is there to talk about?
10. Accendere e spegnere di nuovo
My heart doesn’t come with a switch attached to it. I can’t turn my emotions on and off and on demand.
I can’t give someone second, third, fourth…chances to break my heart all over again.
I can’t put my life on hold while someone decides whether or not I am worthy of their time.
That’s no way to live. That’s no way to love.
Se stiamo insieme, stiamo insieme. Se ci lasciamo una volta, non si può tornare indietro.
11. Chiudere le mie opzioni mentre lui tiene aperte le sue
Once I am into someone, I am into them and no one else. On the other hand, guys I’ve dated don’t share my opinion.
Uscivano con me, mi facevano sperare e poi mi mettevano da parte perché avevano incontrato un'altra persona o si vedevano con un'altra mentre si vedevano con me.
I will try to change that and keep my options open until I hear that ‘we are exclusive’ come out of his mouth.
12. Promesse di cambiamento
Oh the promises… I am sick and tired of hearing them when I know they are leading nowhere.
“I will change; I swear, just stay.” , “I will try harder.”, “I will invest more in us.” , “Things will get better. I promise.” , “Just till I sort this thing out then I will have more time for us.” etc.
Rimanere con qualcuno che fa continuamente promesse e non le mantiene mai è una perdita di tempo. Si sforzerebbe per qualche giorno e poi tornerebbe alle sue vecchie abitudini.
My heart would trust and hope, but my gut would always whisper, “He won’t change baby girl.” My gut was always wiser, and I am going to listen to it more attentively.
