"Materiale da moglie" sembra perfetto, ma ecco perché è una bandiera rossa

Hearing a guy call me “wifey material” was the ultimate compliment for the young girl I was back in the day. Hey, he was obviously putting me aside from all those other girls.

Riuscite a immaginarlo? The man I’m so crazy about thinks of me as being enough to be his legally wedded spouse. He thinks I’m worthy to become the mother of his children.

This is so much more than just labeling things and calling me his girlfriend. Hey, I’m the only one who can change him, the only one who can make him forget about his old ways, and the only one he’d proudly call his wife.

Quanto è romantico? Beh, crescendo ho capito che il romanticismo non ha nulla a che fare con questo epiteto.

Instead, as perfect as “wifey material” might sound, it’s actually a major red flag, and here is why.

Ti mette in una scatola.

Chiunque vi dica queste parole vi sta mettendo in una scatola. Guys who display signs of toxic masculinity divide all women in this world into two categories: the ones they’ll have fun with and the ones who will give birth to their children.

Frequentano il primo gruppo per anni. Vanno a letto con loro e se ne innamorano.

Ma, quando arriva il momento di sistemarsi, cercano cose diverse. Quindi, quale gruppo è migliore?

Beh, nessuno dei due. La cosa migliore è stare alla larga dagli uomini che la pensano così. Scappate a gambe levate non appena incontrate un uomo che cerca di mettervi in una scatola.

Questo uomo riduce tutte le altre qualità. Valuta tutto il vostro valore in base al vostro potenziale di diventare una buona moglie per lui.

Isn’t that sexist and humiliating?

He doesn’t want to marry you – he just wants to get married.

Quando un ragazzo si riferisce a voi come a una moglie, lo vedete come un segno innegabile che vuole trascorrere il resto della sua vita con te. After all those wrong choices, you’ve finally found someone who thinks of you as the one.

He dreams of growing old with you, and he couldn’t picture anyone else besides you to be the mother of his children. If you feel the same way about him, what more could a woman want?

Ma le cose sono davvero così luminose e brillanti? Vi siete mai chiesti: “Does this guy want to marry me or does he just want to get married?”

Forse non ve ne rendete conto, ma la differenza tra questi due elementi è enorme. You see, it’s one thing if you’re the one who made him think about settling down.

Questo è lo scenario perfetto. Ti ha incontrato e ha capito che eri la donna della sua vita.

Nevertheless, what if it went the other way around? What if this man just decided it’s time to get married regardless of who his spouse will be?

Maybe he’s tired of looking for the one or he thinks it’s time to give up on his bachelor life. Maybe he is scared that he’ll be forever alone unless he finds someone to tie the knot with.

So, you’re the first one who came along. You’re suitable and conveniente. You meet his standards and that’s why he immediately started telling you that you’re “wifey material”.

Vuole accelerare le cose per un motivo.

I bet you know the drill: you meet a guy who has everything you’ve been looking for in men.

For as long as you can remember, you’ve been wasting your time on immature boys who never knew what they wanted, who made you feel unloved, and who were che ti prende per i fondelli per anni.

E ora, dopo tutti questi fallimenti, si fa vivo. Vi dedica attenzioni più che sufficienti, dà priorità alla vostra relazione e non ha ripensamenti sul posto che occupate nella sua vita.

But, let’s be honest: in most cases, when a guy is too good to be true – he probably is. I hate to be the one to break your bubble, but is it possible that this man is actually hiding his true colors?

Is it possible that he wants to speed things up for a reason? He wants you to say “I do” before getting to the bottom of his personality or past.

Otherwise, he wouldn’t rush you into anything. I know what you must think now.

He is so sure that you’re his forever person that he doesn’t want to wait a day before making you his forever person.

But, come on, if that were true, then why wouldn’t you wait a bit longer? Time won’t destroy your connection if it is the real deal!

You’re likely to be submissive.

When a man tells you that you’re “wifey material”, you shouldn’t take it as a compliment. I know that you’re flattered at first glance, but trust me, this simple sentence usually hides a lot more.

The truth is that this man doesn’t see you as his equal life partner. He doesn’t see you two conquering the world together and achieving great things.

He doesn’t picture you two holding each other’s hands and pushing one another towards success.

Instead, when he tells you that you’re “wifey material”, this is the picture he has in mind. He comes home from work shouting “Honey, I’m home”.

You welcome him open-handedly, the entire house smells like cupcakes, and you’re overjoyed that you get to spend the afternoon together.

Of course, after lunch, he lays down on a couch and you give him the most sensual massage ever. You know what I’m talking about – you saw the 1950s happy family posters.

Sounds idyllic, right? Well, it probably does – for him.

But, what about you? You’re the moglie sottomessa in questa storia, ma non in senso positivo.

Dov'è l'amore?

Infine, la domanda più importante di tutte: dov'è l'amore in tutto questo? Che vi piaccia o meno sentirlo, la verità è che a uomo che vuole sposarti non è la stessa cosa di un uomo che ti ama.

You see, when a guy truly loves you, he won’t treat you like livestock he needs to evaluate. He won’t put all of your positive and negative traits on a scale before popping the question.

Instead, he will marry you for one reason only: because he would rather die alone than spend the rest of his life with another woman. He will marry you despite you being “unwifeable”.