25 segni che ti sta usando per denaro che non dovresti ignorare
Veniamo al dunque: se state cercando i segnali di allarme di un uomo che vi sta usando per soldi, probabilmente sospettate già che stia succedendo qualcosa di brutto.
When feelings get involved, if your partner isn’t genuine, your own well-being takes the passenger seat.
If you decide that the guy you are dating is definitely a leech, be determined and end things. It’s going to hurt, but unless you cut him off immediately, it will only hurt more as you go along. He won’t change, no matter what he says. Vi meritate di meglio.
If your significant other wouldn’t be with you if you couldn’t pay for things, then you have to ask yourself: should I be with this person at all?
1. Non si offre mai di pagare
A guy who can’t bear to part with his own money yet eagerly accepts yours is either cheap or a freeloader. This kind of guy won’t pay even if he invited you to an expensive restaurant – even going Dutch is too far for him.
If he often claims that he’s forgotten his wallet or never even mentions the possibility of paying, it’s because he never intended to pay in the first place.
When a guy is financially struggling but isn’t a gold digger, he isn’t pleased about you paying every time. If you were in a healthy relationship with a man who couldn’t afford to pay, he would talk to you instead of pretending that he was going to but couldn’t.
2. There’s always qualcosa ha bisogno di soldi per
He keeps asking you for money and says he really, really needs it, he’ll pay you back, he swears. The money is for his sick pet, or he needs your help to start a business. His car needs a rare part, and his bank is having issues for some reason no one understands.
If he’s always coming up with stories about why he needs money and promising that his issues are all valid reasons why you should agree, he’s probably too lost in his lies to realize how suspicious his behavior is.
3. He’s very interested in your financial situation
Un chiaro segno che un uomo vi sta usando per i soldi è se il suo interesse per il vostro conto in banca supera il suo interesse per voi. Non importa quanto sia stretto il vostro rapporto, lui non ha il diritto di immischiarsi nelle vostre finanze.
Sharing your money situation with a guy would make sense if you were planning to get married and share what you have with each other, but a guy who has nothing to contribute – or doesn’t intend to – mostrare interesse per ciò che avete a disposizione è più che sospetto.
Quando si decide di sbarazzarsi di lui e finalmente incontrare un bravo ragazzo dopo questa relazione tossica, you’ll look back and realize how inappropriate this was.
4. Non ha alcuna fonte di reddito
He flaunts new things he’s bought, but you have no idea where he gets the money from. What even is his job? If his answers are vague and if he gets defensive when you try to talk to him about it, he probably doesn’t do anything that provides him with an income.
If he’s apparently always having ‘cash flow issues’ or if it’s never his fault whenever he gets fired, he’s suspicious. L'assenza di fonti di reddito significa che la fonte è costituita da altre persone, molto probabilmente da voi.
5. He’s living beyond his means
Being broke with an expensive taste in itself isn’t a telltale sign of a gold digger, but insisting on the best when you can’t afford it is. If he’s jobless and without an income, yet he always wears expensive clothes and has the latest gadgets, he has to be getting them from somewhere.
The most likely answer is that he’s using credit cards and loans that he plans to repay with money he gets from you or is planning to get from you. Provate a rifiutare quando vi chiede una certa somma di denaro e vedete cosa succede.
6. Ha una storia di frequentazione di persone ricche
Un modo semplice per individuare un cercatore d'oro è guardare le sue precedenti partner. Erano tutte ricche e in grado di sostenere il suo stile di vita? If he’s a professional sugar baby, you might unknowingly be his latest sugar mama.
Being upfront about wanting this kind of relationship is different from trying to deceive someone to get what they want. Lots of people are happy to support their partners indefinitely, but the difference between that and what he’s up to is that he’s dishonest and trying to trick you into it.
7. He’s always at your house or moves in with you
One of the reasons he’s always at your place is that he doesn’t have to spend money on basic household needs if he’s using yours. Potrebbe anche preferire la vostra casa se è più vicina ai suoi gusti rispetto alla vostra. If your TV is bigger than his, you bet that he’ll be staying over a lot.
If he takes it a step further and moves in with you, ask yourself why he’s living with you and how it happened. Is your relationship at the level where you would want to live together? Was this a step you were both eager to take?
Se è stato lui a trasferirsi, contribuisce alla famiglia o sta semplicemente a casa vostra mentre voi fate tutto? The answers to these questions can give you insight into whether he’s using you.
8. Si arrabbia se si parla dei suoi problemi economici
Getting suspicious, wondering, ‘Is he using me for money?’ and confronting him about his money issues is to be expected if you’re the one always paying for everything and financing his lifestyle. If his intentions weren’t based on what he can get from you, he’d be embarrassed about it, and he’d talk to you about his problems.
So if he gets angry or defensive when you broach the topic, he’s using his response as a distraction from the real issue. It’s manipolazione emotiva con lo scopo di farvi abbandonare l'argomento e continuare a comprare le sue bugie.
9. He doesn’t have any future goals
Being unemployed isn’t a sign of a gold digger. It can happen to anybody and in those times, relying on your loved ones to help you out until you get back on your feet is normal. La maggior parte delle persone in questo tipo di situazione è desiderosa di trovare un lavoro e di recuperare la propria indipendenza.
Not this guy, however. If he’s happy when he doesn’t have to go to work or if he can’t hold down a job because he doesn’t care, it’s one of the warning signs that you’re dealing with a leech. If he’s completely fine depending on other people to support him and has no ambition, you should be wary.
10. Vi incoraggia a spendere
Guys like this like to live large. He wants things he can’t afford, so he finds someone who can. Uno dei suoi metodi per ottenere qualcosa è incoraggiarvi a concedervi qualcosa invece di essere diretto e chiedervi di concedervi lui. He believes it will work because you’ll include him.
If he often pressures you to spend a large amount of money, he’s just trying to profit from it or at least get some crumbs. Next time he suggests you treat yourself, get the thing, but for one person – yourself – and see how he reacts. Se si arrabbia o si imbroncia, è chiaro che lo voleva per sé.
11. He suggests doing things that he can’t afford
Un segno sicuro che he’s using you is if he invites you to buy or do something he clearly can’t afford. He might then ‘forget his wallet’ when it’s time to pay or expect you to follow through and organize things after he suggests them.
È chiaro che questo è un altro metodo che usa per ottenere qualcosa da voi. Un cercatore d'oro non ha dignità e la sua unica preoccupazione è ottenere ciò che vuole. He’s not interested in doing things with you, just in doing them, and you’re a convenient wallet he brings along.
12. Ha delle opinioni su come spendere i vostri soldi.
You don’t need relationship advice to know that someone who thinks they have the right to tell you what to do with your own money is trying to control you in some way. Another type of toxic person might do it to gain influence over you, but Una sanguisuga come questo tizio lo fa perché tiene a quei soldi più di quanto tenga a te.
His only concern is your financial status and the availability of your money. If you invest it, spend it on something you want that he doesn’t care about, or give it to someone else, then he’s losing access to it, so he feels like he has to protect his interests.
13. Si preoccupa degli altri e dei vostri soldi
Quando un uomo vuole il vostro denaro tutto per sé, gli altri sono un problema. Poiché la sua unica preoccupazione è quella di usare le persone, non gli viene mai in mente che non tutti sono così. He worries that your loved ones might get what he believes belongs to him because that’s what he would do.
When another man shows up around you and shows genuine interest, a gold digger might act jealous and anxious, but not for normal reasons. He’s not worried that he might lose a woman he loves, but si sente minacciato perché lei potrebbe scegliere un altro al posto suo e lasciarlo al verde.
14. Si arrabbia se si dimentica il portafoglio o se si dice di no.
When you’re not in the mood to do something that he asks you to do, he’ll get upset if he had his eyes on whatever splurgy activity he suggested. Getting upset if you refuse him something he wants if you think it’s too much or if you can’t pay for it is a form of ricatto emotivo.
He’s trying to make you feel guilty for his response, but don’t forget that his feelings are not your responsibility. When you try to enforce your boundaries, and he tries to push them by making you feel bad about yourself, it’s toxic behavior you shouldn’t fall for.
15. Trascorrere una notte tranquilla in casa è inaccettabile
Always ready to go out and party, always up for an adventure or a trip, always eager to get new things and do new things – all of these would be a sign of an exciting person if it weren’t for one thing: he’s up for it if you’re the one footing the bill.
If he wasn’t interested in your money, he’d be happy doing things that don’t require any. If all the activities he suggests have a price, it’s a good sign that you’re dealing with a gold digger.
16. He’s not really interested in your life
Apart from your money, nothing in your life is really interesting to him. If he doesn’t care about your day but cares about your salary, you should seriously consider di uscire da questa relazione tossica.
Una persona a cui piaci lo dimostra in molti modi, ma il primo è che tutto ciò che ti riguarda lo affascina. If you stay with a man who only cares about your worth and how he can profit from it, you’ll miss out on someone who’ll love you for you.
17. There’s no emotional connection
Una relazione sana e seria è impossibile senza un legame emotivo. If he’s emotivamente non disponibile or you can’t seem to connect with him, it’s a sign that he doesn’t care about having that kind of relationship with you.
On the other hand, you should also be careful if he’s trying to establish an emotional connection too quickly, and he’s very insistent about it. Trust your gut feeling and pay attention to whether it seems genuine or if he’s just trying to manipulate you and keep you hooked.
18. He doesn’t make an effort
Se un ragazzo è non si impegna nella relazione di coppia, he’s not the guy for you, whether or not he’s in it just for the money. You don’t need a guy who won’t appreciate you and show you that he loves you with his actions. The whole relationship isn’t just your responsibility, and if it continues, it will only result in heartbreak.
It’s even worse if he makes no effort and he’s using you for money. What are you getting from this relationship? You’re not getting love and affection, and you’re giving him both, in addition to what he needs you to buy for him. Fatevi un favore e uscite il prima possibile.
19. He doesn’t tell you where he’s going or what he’s doing
In un relazione sana, partners trust each other and don’t need to know where the other person is at all times. However, if someone is either secretive or acts like his daily activities are none of your business, that’s not it.
Leaving you out unless you’re needed to pay means he sees you as nothing but a sponsor for his lifestyle, so he only includes you when he needs something. If he thinks that you have no right to his personal life, but he has a right to your money, don’t give him the satisfaction.
20. Esce dalla stanza quando squilla il telefono
Closing his social media apps when you’re looking or leaving the room to talk on the phone means that he’s hiding something. He might be cheating, but he might also just be leading a life that doesn’t include you. If he comes back from his phone call asking for a donation, just drop him.
This isn’t something that you should tolerate, and it’s a clear sign that you’re nothing but an ATM to him. If he has his real life that you’re not a part of, do yourself a favor and leave him for someone who’ll be happy to make you a part of his.
21. You suspect that he’s unfaithful
Your gut feeling telling you that he’s unfaithful might be enough, but if you want to be sure, pay attention to his behavior and cercare di individuare i più comuni segni di imbroglio. These signs apply to most people, so if you can check several of them, it’s highly likely that your intuition is right.
If he’s cheating on you and still taking your money, he’s despicable and doesn’t deserve to call you his girlfriend. Drop him and move on because whatever he says, he doesn’t have your best interests at heart, and he won’t ever change.
22. He doesn’t want to meet your friends and family
A guy you’re in a relationship with finding excuses to get out of meeting your friends is suspicious. If you’re in a long-term relationship, it’s a definite red flag. Chi si prende cura di voi vuole far parte della vostra vita, e questo include i vostri cari.
A gold digger doesn’t care about you or your family. All he cares about is when you’ll buy him that thing he wants or how much pocket money he’s getting next. When he doesn’t even want to pretend he cares, you know he’s a lowlife. Say bye and get on with your life.
23. You feel like he wouldn’t care about you if you had no money
Essere altruisti invece di essere egoisti è una delle chiavi di volta differenze tra un legame autentico e una relazione tossica. If your gut feeling is telling you that he wouldn’t care for you if you had no money, it’s probably right. You’re feeling that way because you simply don’t want to admit to yourself that he’s using you.
It’s time you put yourself first and stop caring for this leech. Concentratevi su ciò che volete e, se questo include lui, puntate più in alto. Che il vostro gusto sia migliore di questo.
24. If you’re having money issues, there’s a problem
Getting upset with you when you run out of money is one of the clear signs that money is all he cares about. He’s usando te emotivamente e finanziaria senza curarsi dei vostri sentimenti. When you can’t pay for his expenses, you’re of no use to him.
In case that your financial situation doesn’t get better, you’ll become worthless in his eyes, and he’ll move on to someone else he can use. If it does get better, his feelings will suddenly reawaken. Don’t let it get that far, and get rid of this guy.
25. People tell you that he’s using you
Your best friend is telling you to break up with him, and your family is telling you he’s no good – potrebbe essere il momento di avere fiducia nel fatto che abbiano buone intenzioni e smettere di usare scuse. Smettete di difenderlo a voi stessi e ai vostri cari.
Don’t try to explain behavior to others the same way he keeps spinning tales to leech things off you. Chiudere le cose senza guardarsi indietro.
