Se vi sentite un fallimento in amore, leggete questo articolo

Do you ever get that feeling like everyone around you is in a happy relationship and you’re the only one still single? Like everyone around you enjoys il fascino del vero amore tranne che per te?

You’re not alone. Feeling like a failure at love has become an epidemic and more and more people feel this way for some unknown reasons, or for some maybe not-so-unknown reasons. 

In my circle of friends, this epidemic called ‘failing at love’ has taken a heavy toll.

The other day, when I was talking to one of my girls, she seemed totally devastated because she was convinced that she’s the ultimate failure at love just because everyone around her has someone and she’s flying solo (after a few heartbreaks). 

She is convinced that she’s a failure at love because her best friends enjoy the company of their loved ones, because they’ve found that one person who means the world to them. And do you know what I said to her?

Le ho detto: How in the world does this make you a failure at love? How can you fail at something that doesn’t have a grading system, a speed limit or an expiration date?

Just because you still haven’t found the tipo di amore that is right for you, this doesn’t mean that you fail at love.

Just because your past relationships didn’t work out, this doesn’t classify you into the category of ‘being a fallimento d'amore’. 

Mentre lo dicevo con la sicurezza di Sua Santità il Dalai Lama, lei mi guardava incredula, come se avessi appena inventato qualcosa di nuovo che lei aveva ignorato per tutto questo tempo.

But I hadn’t. This is the only truth! 

The only truth is that you cannot fail at love because love isn’t something you can ‘fail’ at!

As you’re listening to other people’s fairy tale love stories, you naturally get the feeling like you’re missing something big, something that hasn’t found you yet or never will. You get convinced that you will be forever alone or that you’ll keep jumping from one failed relationship to another.

But other people’s love lives aren’t something you should reflect on in the first place.

All those cute pictures of happy couples on social media aren’t something that should cause you dissatisfaction or this feeling of hopelessness regarding your own amore vita.

Perché?

Perché si vive e si costruisce la propria vita sentimentale al proprio ritmo unico. Ogni singolo individuo dei 7,8 miliardi di persone che attualmente popolano il mondo ha sfide romantiche diverse e una diversa tempistica di relazione.

And just because some of them have found their special one sooner, this doesn’t make you a failure at love!

Some people need more time, more challenges to overcome and more patience. There’s no need to think that you’re the one to blame for your past failed relationships.

Le relazioni falliscono per molte ragioni e questo non ha nulla a che vedere con il fatto che siate condannati o meno fortunati del resto della popolazione.

Questo non ha nulla a che vedere con il fatto che vi sentite un fallimento in amore, perché il vostro momento di brillare e di portare i frutti dell'amore deve ancora venire.

Just because it didn’t happen yesterday or today, it doesn’t mean that it won’t. Where you are at this moment is exactly where you should be.

Tutte le sfide che avete dovuto affrontare fanno parte del vostro viaggio chiamato vita e delle lezioni che avete dovuto imparare per diventare più forti, più saggi e più felici in futuro.

L'amore non è qualcosa che si può comprare in un negozio. L'amore non è qualcosa di immediato.

Love isn’t a game.

Love isn’t a game of Tetris where you have to match all the tiles in a video game called love in order to feel like a winner.

Love isn’t The Bachelor TV show where you have to compete with others in order to enjoy the perfect love. Perfect love doesn’t exist and a perfect person doesn’t exist. 

Love isn’t a game where you need to play all the right cards in order to attract it into your world.

Love isn’t something you can really influence and therefore, it cannot make you a failure and you shouldn’t stress about it. 

Come esseri umaniSiamo nati con l'istinto d'amore delle nostre madri e lo portiamo con noi per tutta la vita.

Cerchiamo quella fiamma speciale che accenda il fuoco dell'amore nelle nostre anime.

Ci viene naturale cercare l'Unico. 

Colui che cambierà la nostra prospettiva sulle cose, ci sfiderà e renderà il nostro mondo più grande, più ricco.

We’re convinced that love is exactly what we’re missing at that moment and the only thing that can make us feel better. 

And that’s why we feel so sad when we’re unable to achieve it. That’s why we start feeling like we fail at this game called love.

But love isn’t a game. It’s not something that requires learning special skills or possessing a special code that will enter us into the world of unconditional love.

L'amore non è qualcosa a cui bisogna affrettarsi.

Because love isn’t a race.

Love doesn’t have a finish line where you have to win first place. Love doesn’t know the meaning of these two words ‘successful people’ and ‘failures at love’.

Those who have already found their special one are not the ones chosen by love. They just happened to find it sooner than others, which doesn’t make them more successful or luckier.

Therefore, you cannot fail at love because love isn’t a race where you should find someone ASAP only to fit the norms of society.

Love isn’t something you should rush to, because you can’t, even if you wanted to. 

L'amore riguarda il viaggio. L'amore è costituito da tutti i momenti passati e dai momenti presenti che sono collegati ai momenti futuri.

L'amore è una forza onnipresente che non può essere inseguita. 

Love is life’s changes, laughter, tears… Every time you were disappointed in love and feeling like a failure, love was still there with you, holding your hand and whispering into your ear that you shouldn’t feel this way because love is not something you can influence. 

L'amore è qualcosa che si sperimenta. L'amore è qualcosa che si sperimenta dal profondo del cuore e non dall'esterno.

Because love isn’t about the number of likes or comments on social media.

Love is not about romantic selfies that will bring you tons of likes or comments on your social media. Those couples that you envy so much because they look perfect in every picture don’t have a perfect life or perfect love.

Just like you, they have their everyday concerns, obligations and especially love obligations toward their partner’s needs, dreams and desires.

Love isn’t about having comments like “OMG siete molto carini insieme!” underneath your pictures on social media. Because love is not something shareable, likable, Tweetable, etc. The number of likes on your pictures is not a measure of love.

And that’s why you shouldn’t rush to it. You shouldn’t rush to it for the wrong reasons. And you shouldn’t feel like a failure just because you have no one to take a romantic selfie with so that you can share it with other people. 

L'amore non è qualcosa che apparirà misteriosamente dal nulla quando raccogliere our phone and start dialing in the hope that we’ll get some answers for it being late.

You cannot order love to appear in your life because love will not come to you until the time is right. You cannot fail at love just because it hasn’t found you yet. 

Love is not a game or a race. Love isn’t about the number of likes or comments on social media. 

L'amore viene dentro di voi. L'amore è reale.

You cannot fail at love just because you couldn’t create something meaningful with your previous partner(s).

There isn’t a special formula that you need to learn in order to do everything right so that your love can keep existing. 

Just because it didn’t work out with your previous partners, this doesn’t make you a failure. Just because you don’t have an arsenal of cute photos with a partner to share your love with others on social media, this doesn’t make you a failure.

Just because you need more time to find your special one, this doesn’t make you a failure.

Perché l'amore non può essere forzato, non può essere condiviso su social media e non può essere affrettato.

L'amore viene dentro di voi e qualsiasi cosa venga dentro di voi, non può essere forzata. Si può solo lasciare che si sviluppi al proprio ritmo.

Love is a powerful emotion and just because you haven’t felt it yet, this doesn’t make you a failure!

Love is real and sensitive like a summer breeze. It’s both powerful and fragile at the same time and it cannot be tamed. It cannot be chased and it cannot be bought. 

Trovare un partner perfetto non è una definizione di amore e quindi questo non può rendervi inadatti all'amore o incapaci di amare.

Love is so much more than that! It’s a complex emotion that consists of so many layers still unknown to many of us.

Love is in the color of a bright blue sky, love is in a beautiful flower, love is in a cute kitten that’s crying for her mother’s milk, love is in all the nice things we do for others, love is in our hearts. 

So, if you love the world and everyone around you, how can you even be a failure at love? Well, you can’t! 

If you wake up every day with a smile on your face because you’re grateful for everything you already have, then you’re sure as hell a winner at love!

If you live your life with passion, compassion and hope, even though you were disappointed by life and love multiple times, then you’re sure as hell a winner at love!

If you notice and worship all those little things that many people unconsciously neglect, then you’re sure as hell a winner at love!

You cannot fail at love if love already lives within you and if it’s deeply rooted in your heart. You just need to nourish it and when the right time comes, this love will flourish into something even bigger and greater.

Ma tutto questo deriva dalla vostra prospettiva iniziale sull'amore. 

Se credete che un giorno troverete quell'amore incondizionato di cui tutti parlano, allora sicuramente lo troverete!

If you believe that you won’t and if you keep telling yourself and others that you’re the ultimate failure at love, then love will be confused about you.

It will think that you’re not ready for it yet and that’s why you will have to wait a little bit longer to be ready to welcome it into your life.

The ability to love starts with the ability to love life. The ability to love others starts with the ability to love one’s self.

We often think that finding love will make us complete and if we haven’t found it yet, we feel incomplete, sad and like we’re missing something big out there.

Questo è vero, ma fino a un certo punto. Trovare l'amore vi renderà completi fino a un certo punto solo se prima riuscirete a trovare voi stessi.

Everything stems from self-love or the lack of it. Thinking that you fail at love also stems from a lack of self-love and that’s why it’s important that you first focus on learning how to love yourself instead of others. Now, how does one love themselves? 

Amare se stessi significa accettarsi per quello che si è veramente, with all of your quirks, flaws, good sides and bad sides that come in a package. Loving yourself means being aware of the fact that you’re imperfect and being perfectly okay with that.

Loving yourself means not blaming yourself for all the past relationships that simply didn’t succeed, not blaming yourself for not meeting your soulmate yet and not blaming yourself for cruising solo.

Amare se stessi significa anche fregarsene di ciò che pensano gli altri.

Just because others are in a relationship and just because some of them are telling you that you should start doing something about your love life as well, this doesn’t mean that you should listen to them.

This doesn’t mean that you should feel less worthy or incapable of finding or fighting for real love.

Perché un giorno, in un momento, when you least expect it, you will meet the love you’ve been waiting for!

E prima che ciò accada, è necessario concentrarsi su se stessi e imparare ad amarsi a prescindere da tutto.

When you master this, you will be able to love another human being with all of your body, mind, and heart—unconditionally. 

Se si ama se stessi, non si può essere un fallimento in amore!

Loving yourself is the ultimate expression of love, the most powerful of all. If you love yourself, then there’s nothing you should worry about because you’re doing everything right.

You’re on the right path toward meeting your soulmate, your special one, and there’s no need to hurry because there’s not a chance that you will miss it!

Loving yourself means that you’re ready to receive unconditional love from the One and it’s only a matter of time when true love will knock at your door and greet you with lots of blessings and a big smile.

Non si può essere un fallimento in amore se si sa apprezzare e rispettare se stessi, perché questo tipo di amore è il più difficile da imparare.

Quindi, fate un respiro profondo e guardate la verità!

Aprite gli occhi e accettate il fatto che l'amore è un vostro diritto di nascita e quindi non potete fallire nemmeno se lo voleste!

Love is something that was born within you the moment your heart started beating inside your mother’s belly. You were born out of love and therefore, it’s a part of you.

It’s a part of your every pore, every smile and every tear.

Anche se i nostri corpi sono costituiti fino a 60% da un liquido chiamato acqua, l'amore è ciò che ci ha portato inizialmente nel mondo e ha riempito i nostri corpi con 100% di amore puro.

E l'amore puro è la forza più potente dell'universo! L'amore puro è parte di noi. L'amore puro è un nostro diritto di nascita. 

So, to fail at something that’s already a part of you is quite impossible. You cannot fail at being who you are. You cannot fail at existing.

Con ogni vostro passo, ogni vostra parola e azione, condividete l'amore intorno a voi senza nemmeno esserne consapevoli.

Voi create l'amore in molte forme diverse che vi rendono ciò che siete oggi. E tutte queste forme un giorno si uniranno in un'unica grande forma incondizionata e tutto ciò che dovete fare è aspettare e credere che sia così!

No matter what you’ve been through, your ability to love always remains.

And all you need to do is unlock it! No matter how disappointed you are in love and relationships due to your past heartbreaks and painful experiences, this doesn’t mean that you’ve lost the ability to love or that you’ll wear the title of being a failure at love for the rest of your life.

You won’t!

Your ability to love is still there within you and all you need to do is look for it, unlock it and praise it. Because no matter what you’ve been through, your ability to love always remains. 

What you’ve been through before is not a measure of love and it has nothing to do with it.

To discover love’s full potential, you need to find the right one for you because finding the right one means unlocking real love!

And that’s why you should never rush into it. That’s why you should wait patiently and with the hope that real love will find you because it will.

Vi troverà quando meno ve lo aspettate e quando sarete pronti a riceverlo. 

And when it does, believe me, you’ll know it. 

You’ll know it because you’ll feel like you’re living on a different, exciting planet that all this time was waiting for you to visit it.

 

You’ll know it because all of your tears will be replaced with pure laughter, hugs and kisses.

You will no longer worry about being a failure at love because you will realize that this concept doesn’t exist.

You will realize how mistaken you were all this time for believing that you’re an outcast and that love has forsaken you. 

Quando il vero amore vi troverà, ve ne accorgerete perché improvvisamente tutto ciò che vi è successo in passato inizierà ad avere un senso.

You’ll be amazed by the amount of love you can give to another human being. All of your wounds will heal and your heart will start beating in a different, happier rhythm.

Quando il vero amore vi troverà, lo saprete. E fino a quando non succederà, aspettate. Credere.

Vedi anche: Se ti senti come se dovessi rimanere single per sempre, leggi questo articolo